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  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 10,863 Member
    Hand-held laser pointers. They're not just for cats, no sir. Airplane pilots particularly love chasing the little laser spot in their cockpits during boring takeoffs and landings. It really brightens my day when I can brighten theirs.

    What do you suppose the trash trucks do with all the trash they collect?
  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 12,839 Member
    The trash is transmogrified through highly guarded secret techniques, and then delivered back to the grocery stores for renewed consumption by the same people who made the trash in the first place.

    How many parrots does it take to change a lightbulb?
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 18,735 Member
    edited December 2021
    Cat0703a wrote: »
    On Christmas Day we make Brussels sprouts 18 ways. Ranging from grandma’s boiled until mush, dad’s deep fried in bacon grease, and aunt June’s popular Brussels sprout pie.

    How about you?

    Didn't this remind me of a week of Brussels Sprouts on a recent job out of town? 🤣
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 18,735 Member
    edited December 2021
    frankwbrown wrote: »

    How many parrots does it take to change a lightbulb?

    It takes a pandemonium of parrots to change a light bulb. One to read the directions, one to gather the snacks for everyone (usually crackers), one to tell light bulb jokes, (Q: "How many art directors does it take to change a light bulb. A: "Does it have be a light bulb?"), one to keep everyone in line, and two or three to actually change the light bulb.

    What was your first job?
  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 12,839 Member
    At the age of four, I was asked to search and find in my home town the homes of all dogs named Fido. This lead to subsequent assignments to do the same first in my county, and then in the entire state of California. They wanted to continue this project, expanding it to the continental United States and then the entire world. I declined, because at that point, at the age of four and a half, I had other fish to fry (literally... during my free time, I had learned deep sea fishing and had caught several marlins).

    What's a good side dish to serve with garlic soy pan-seared marlin?
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    cmsienk wrote: »
    Cat0703a wrote: »
    On Christmas Day we make Brussels sprouts 18 ways. Ranging from grandma’s boiled until mush, dad’s deep fried in bacon grease, and aunt June’s popular Brussels sprout pie.

    How about you?

    Didn't this remind me of a week of Brussels Sprouts on a recent job out of town? 🤣

    I should have placed a trigger warning on it. 😂
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    frankwbrown wrote: »
    At the age of four, I was asked to search and find in my home town the homes of all dogs named Fido. This lead to subsequent assignments to do the same first in my county, and then in the entire state of California. They wanted to continue this project, expanding it to the continental United States and then the entire world. I declined, because at that point, at the age of four and a half, I had other fish to fry (literally... during my free time, I had learned deep sea fishing and had caught several marlins).

    What's a good side dish to serve with garlic soy pan-seared marlin?

    May I interest you in aunt June’s Brussels sprout pie recipe? Or do you prefer making the marlin the star dish in which case I recommend grandma’s boiled to mush ones…

    What are your thoughts on eating ice cream after dinner tonight?
  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 12,839 Member
    edited December 2021
    re: Brussels Sprouts -- As I'm already familiar with boiled to mush ones, I find myself curious about the pie recipe.
    What are your thoughts on eating ice cream after dinner tonight?
    Is that a rhetorical question? 🤔

    My thoughts are:
    • that I will have ice cream is a given.
    • but which flavor should I choose?
    • let's see, I had spare ribs for dinner - would the Double Belgian Chocolate Chip pair well, or maybe just mint chip? Let's not overlook the Dulce De Leche and the Vanilla Swiss Almond...
    • the bigger question is, do I limit myself as I've been doing, or do I use the Holidays as an excuse to have a full serving?

    If one were to blend ice cream with nonfat milk, protein powder and half a banana, could one call that a protein shake? (asking for a friend)
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    Depends on the ratio of ice cream to protein powder…

    Has your friend finished their holiday shopping?
  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 12,839 Member
    I'm guessing my friend hasn't hardly started, and I'm rarely wrong, so perhaps I should say he finished his shopping months ago. He has a reputation for getting everyone exactly what they want, long before they realized they wanted it. I've asked him to share with me the secret to his success, but he just keeps saying "Yeah, yeah, I will...".

    How long will your holiday dinner last?
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    It will last through Gramps telling his stories of his time in Prison with Martha Stewart, cousin Jenny's Story of finding true Love on her trip to Jupiter and the fierce, scratch your eyes out brawl between Mother Alice and Aunt Karen..... In other words.... Waaaay to friggin long!!! 😫

    😜



    What is Santa bringing you this year?
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 18,735 Member
    Santa is bringing me everything I've asked for...
    my two front teeth,
    a hippopotamus,
    a Red Ryder Range 200 Shot BB Gun,
    a Turbo Man electronic action figure, candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.

    What is your favorite wintertime activity?
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    Naked snow angels. Too bad we mostly get rain here. 😒

    I’m waiting on an important email from my workplace today and it’s not coming quick enough for me. What should I do?
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 18,735 Member
    edited December 2021
    You should dash into your oral surgeon's office for an impromptu root canal. By the time you're done, you'll no longer care about the tardy email.

    I have a client Christmas party tonight. I always struggle with what to wear. Any suggestions?
  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 10,863 Member
    You want to show your client how you can think outside the box, so I suggest showing up while wearing a box. Suspenders to hold it up, leg holes, wrapped in Christmas wrapping paper matching your client's high school colors (you have done your research on your client, right?). Bonus points if you use shoe-boxes for shoes. Your client will be amazed.

    What's your favorite holiday movie?
  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 12,839 Member
    edited December 2021
    We are talking Christmas holiday, right? In that case:

    The Blog - A wintery tale about an amorphous creature from outer space who comes to Earth to eat win the hearts and minds of Earthlings. (A good treat while watching this movie is Jello or pudding.)

    What is another perfect snack to consume while watching a scary movie?
  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 10,863 Member
    When I'm watching my wife's favorite scary movie with her, the only snack I need is a 24-oz bottle of something 90-proof. Her preferred snack is a box of Valentine's Day chocolates, but to each their own.

    If you could change one physical feature of yours, what would you change?
  • sandejones
    sandejones Posts: 1,840 Member
    edited December 2021
    Being Dr Spocks daughter, it goes without saying, my ears. They are often mistaken for elf ears which can be annoying when people make jokes at this time of year. Live long and prosper.

    If you were paid 1 million dollars to get a tattoo, what would it be and where?


  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 12,839 Member
    edited December 2021
    I would get a life-size tattoo of a dust mite. It would be located at the very top of my latissimus dorsi, under my left arm. On the back of the dust mite would be a tattoo of the yin yang ☯ symbol (in traditional black and white).

    How old were you when you discovered the back of your head?
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 18,735 Member
    edited December 2021
    Wait... there's a back to my head?!? How old am I right now? Who knew? Frank you've opened my eyes to all the things I can do now... wear hats and headbands, sleep on my back (I used to only be able to sleep on my side) and now I know where that extra set of eyes belongs.

    This party is boring. How can I liven things up here?

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