Wrong answers ONLY!

cmsienk

Dare I suggest a little remouilade relish comprised of pickle, mustard and horseradish to go with your espresso nib peanut butter sandwich? Try dipping your sandwich in it. It'll hit the spot and those tears in your eyes will be tears of joy at how delightful it tastes.

I don't like being the passenger in a car - I other to drive. How do I offer to drive without making others feel like I don't trust their driving?

Cat0703a

Honestly? Tell them the truth that they suck at driving otherwise how else will they improve? But if you really must spare their feelings, tell them you have a right shoulder issue that requires your seatbelt to cross your left one. The downfall to this is you’ll never be able to drive them in Europe. 😬

My freshly teenaged son is wanting to earn more money doing chores. What additional chores shall I give him to justify a $3 per week increase?

KathLeenMVP

Sleeping an extra hour 3 out of a 5 day rotation.
When should night shift start during winter?

cmsienk

Cat0703a wrote: »

My freshly teenaged son is wanting to earn more money doing chores. What additional chores shall I give him to justify a $3 per week increase?

I actually think you should have him do your job for you one day a week. It's a win-win for everyone. You get to play hooky, maybe sleep in that day, get a mani-pedi, order in a latte... while he covers things for you. Don't train him - just let him make it up as he goes along. It'll be fun, your coworkers will enjoy not knowing what's going on... definitely worth an extra $3 a week.

KathLeenMVP wrote: »

When should night shift start during winter?

Noon. No wait. 9am. I can't decide. Let's just switch the night shift with the day shift - but just for winter.

My waiter at dinner tonight did an outstanding job so I gave him a great tip. What's your best non monetary tip to give to strangers?

Cat0703a

@cmsienk, that’s an excellent idea. I’m sure my team will appreciate a 13 year old bossing them around. It’ll teach him responsibility too.

Glad your waiter did an outstanding job; ours left a lot of room for improvement making not one major error but two with our order. 😒

In my purse I bring new in package underwear for our servers. Some people only share the tip “always wear fresh underwear as you’ll never know when they’ll be seen” but I go the extra step and give them a new pair.

I’m looking for inspiration for my meal planning this week. What is your signature dish?

nossmf

By using little squeeze bottles filled with ketchup, I've become quite adept at signing my name in ketchup across my plate. In cursive, even, which really impresses my guests. For some reason I'm less able to use mustard bottles, the signature always comes out in French rather than English, but I ascribe that to using French's Mustard inside. Don't even ask what happens when I use a squeeze bottle filled with mayo...

Several times in this thread people have been trying to answer the same question at the same time, posting over top of one another. How can we avoid this confusion in the future?

cmsienk

Everybody in this thread could list their phone number at the top of their next post and we could start one giant group text. Just before you post here, send out a text asserting your right to be the next poster.

Quite often I take a load of clothes out of my dryer only to find I'm missing one sock. Where do you think those missing socks go?

frankwbrown

I suspect that some socks apparently turn into lint in the dryer. Oddly enough, I occasionally find an extra sock in my dryer. You wouldn't be missing a rainbow-colored sock or a pink sock with a unicorn on it, would you? Years ago, I decided to buy only one color/type of sock. So now all my socks are exactly the same. Fortunately for me, both my feet are the identical shape.

Is there some way we can ensure that a sock pair cannot get separated?

sandejones

Sewing the socks together near the top means they can be put in the dryer together. You may walk like a penguin when wearing them. But hey, penguins look adorable when they walk.

Went to charge my phone this morning and had to hunt for the charger amongst several chargers. What is a good way of making sure you grab the correct one?

cmsienk

Glue the charger that came with your phone right into the phone's charging port. Voila! You'll always have the correct one at hand.

I'm trying not to snack at night, but it's so hard sometimes. What do you do to distract yourself from snacking at night?

frankwbrown

Why in the world would you not want to snack at night? "Snacking is Life!"
Okay, you've probably heard that snacking at night is a surefire way to defeat one's weight loss efforts. I find that hard to believe. The less light there is, the less visible the snacks are that you're eating, and therefore the fewer calories you absorb from those snacks. This seems obvious.
But okay, one way to not "snack at night" is simply to pretend that while eating snacks, you are in another time zone where it isn't night. Problem solved. You're welcome. 😂

How many snacks a day is the optimum number?

sandejones

24 . 1am, 2am, 3am, 4am - - 10pm, 11pm, Midnight. If hungry this can be changed to 1/2 hourly .Humans are grazing animals.

Its raining yet its lovely and warm. What should we do today?

cmsienk

I think we should all get together and try out your recently installed toboggan run. Doesn't it sound like perfect weather for that? Who's with me?

In spite of my eagerness to try the toboggan run, I'm actually feeling really lazy today. I need a little motivation to get moving. How do you motivate yourself to work out?

nossmf

Reverse psychology. Tell your kids they can't do something, that's all they want to do. So every morning when you wake, look at yourself in the mirror and tell your reflection that you can't work out, you lazy out-of-shape bum. Voila, your brain will immediately want to prove you wrong by running to the gym.

Speaking of running to the gym, why is the parking lot at the gym full of cars close to the entrance, rather than the far-away spots which promote walking?

frankwbrown

Well, undoubtedly, it's because people are aware of the fact that steps taken in a parking lot have less health benefits than steps taken on a treadmill. But there's another reason as well. As we all know, people who go to the gym are above all else considerate. They are mindful of the fact that parking further from the entrance is beneficial in that way. But being considerate, they don't want to deprive others of that chance, so they choose the closer parking spots to leave the further spots available to others. It's either that, or they're in such a hurry to get to the rowing machine or elliptical or other machine of choice that they can't spare the extra seconds it would take to walk the extra distance.

Speaking of which, why don't rowing machines come in their own small pool of water, to make for a more realistic rowing experience?

nossmf

You're supposed to provide your own water in the form of sweat. If you haven't produced a pool of sweat-water by the time you're done, you haven't worked out hard enough.

The NFL playoffs start this coming weekend, and my favorite team has failed to reach the playoffs for the last six years. How do I deal with this disappointment?

frankwbrown

Hang in there. Which teams make it into the playoffs is pure random probability. If your team hasn't won in six years, the probability is good that they'll get there very soon. It's like when you toss a coin, the probability is 50/50 that it'll be heads/tails. And we all know, despite what statisticians say, that if you've tossed a coin and gotten tails six times in a row, the probability is increasingly better that your next toss will be heads.
I've spent half my paycheck on the lottery since it's inception, and I haven't won yet. So I know the probability of me winning soon is astronomically high, probably greater than 100%.

How many breakfast burritos make a dozen?

nossmf

Here in America, each breakfast burrito feeds one person, so you need 12 burritos to feed 12 people. But in certain third-world countries, each breakfast burrito is shared between upwards of 17 people to fill their daily caloric needs, so a dozen are fed using approximately 71% of a burrito.

This summer my wife and I will celebrate 20 years of marriage. How should we commemorate this milestone?

Cat0703a

Separate vacations! Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? It’ll also give you the benefit of having something new to talk about. Win win! But if that doesn’t work for you or your wife, you can always go with the traditional gift for 20 years which life size statue of the two of you dancing for your front lawn. Or perhaps the trending one which is having your bodies painted then having boudoir photos taken. I hope my suggestions were helpful ones. 🤗

I’m awake early. What should I do with my free time?

cmsienk

This is a good opportunity to organize your neighbor's refrigerator and pantry. And after that, their sock drawer. Don't worry if they're still sleeping; you've got this extra time - don't waste it. Just crawl in through a window; I'm sure you'll find an open one - after all, it is January.

I haven't worked since mid-December and my next job isn't until January 20th. I've already organized my fridge, pantry and sock drawer (and several of my neighbors'). Maybe I need a second job. Got any ideas for something with flexible hours and days?

frankwbrown

A great use of free time is sleep. If you wake up early, take that opportunity to grab a little sleep. One can never get enough sleep, except of course for the Big Sleep. Avoid that, even if it means staying awake.

If a little exercise makes you feel good, shouldn't a lot of exercise make you feel great?

cmsienk

frankwbrown wrote: »

A great use of free time is sleep. If you wake up early, take that opportunity to grab a little sleep. One can never get enough sleep, except of course for the Big Sleep. Avoid that, even if it means staying awake.

If a little exercise makes you feel good, shouldn't a lot of exercise make you feel great?

Were you getting a little extra sleep?You got caught by lag... 😉

frankwbrown

cmsienk wrote: »

This is a good opportunity to organize your neighbor's refrigerator and pantry. And after that, their sock drawer. Don't worry if they're still sleeping; you've got this extra time - don't waste it. Just crawl in through a window; I'm sure you'll find an open one - after all, it is January.

I haven't worked since mid-December and my next job isn't until January 20th. I've already organized my fridge, pantry and sock drawer (and several of my neighbors'). Maybe I need a second job. Got any ideas for something with flexible hours and days?

Might I suggest applying yourself toward coming up with a Unified Field Theory? Since Einstein spent decades trying unsuccessfully to combine his general theory of relativity with quantum mechanics, wouldn't that be time well spent? Physicists the world over will be jealous/envious but ultimately appreciative if when you succeed. I suppose it needn't be specifically a unified field theory, just so long as it's an elegant and convincing Theory Of Everything.

(Wouldn't a great use of free time be to spend it correcting all the mistakes one makes due to lag?)

If a little exercise makes you feel good, shouldn't a lot of exercise make you feel great?

cmsienk

Will I get paid for my time spent researching The Theory of Everything?

You've got how exercise works all backwards... if a little exercise makes you feel good, ] no exercise makes you feel great. Look how happy and energetic sloths are. And the more your muscles atrophy from doing nothing, the better you'll feel.

Have you ever had to change a flat tire? What's the best method for doing it quickly?

frankwbrown

cmsienk wrote: »

Will I get paid for my time spent researching The Theory of Everything?

Isn't the satisfaction of contributing so substantially to the collective knowledge of mankind payment enough? 😂

cmsienk wrote: »

You've got how exercise works all backwards... if a little exercise makes you feel good, ] no exercise makes you feel great. Look how happy and energetic sloths are. And the more your muscles atrophy from doing nothing, the better you'll feel.

I see. That makes so much sense. I guess you can't have sore muscles if you have no muscles.

cmsienk wrote: »

Have you ever had to change a flat tire? What's the best method for doing it quickly?

Just do as I do. I've never changed a flat tire, though I've had many flats. How is that possible, you ask? Simple: when you get a flat, don't change the flat, change the car! Exchange your car with an identical one that does not have a flat. The other car owner will not notice the difference, and will change the flat. Afterwards, if you're particularly attached to your own car, you can switch them back, with the other car owner no much the wiser.

So I understand now that exercising is to be avoided, but hypothetically speaking, would it be okay to eat an entire chocolate cake (let's say, something similar to a Pepperidge Farm cake or one of the cakes below) before doing a light workout at the gym?

nossmf

You can hypothetically eat anything before a hypothetical workout and be fine. If you're talking about an actual workout, you need to match up the food with the workout. Birthday cakes with lots of candles providing light are fine for light workouts, such as swimming where your body feels light as a feather; angel food cakes work especially well for this. Heavy workouts, say picking up iron weights, require heavy foods, such as devil's food cake. Don't mix the two up, or else bad things can happen.

My car has been in the repair shop for over two weeks, and they say they can't even begin yet due to "waiting for parts." Is there anything I can do to speed up the return of my car?

cmsienk

I suggest calling them everyday to check on the status of the parts. Get your friends to call in too. In fact, the more calls you make, the faster the parts will come in, so why don't you set them up on speed dial?.

My neighbor keeps wanting to get together, but we have nothing in common. Can you recommend a good excuse that won't offend her?

nossmf

Why don't you try telling her to her face that you died? With the right makeup, she'll believe you. If you play your cards right, she may even agree to pay you a monthly stipend to not haunt her house.

As the family chef, I try to keep variety in my meal planning by not preparing the same meal more than twice per month (I keep a log and wait at least two weeks before adding the meal to the week's menu again). My kids would prefer the same three meals fixed repeatedly. How can I get them to enjoy the variety of meals I prepare?

s1im62

Burritos are your solution. Since they look the same outside your kids will get the sense that you are preparing the same meal three times a day, but you can stuff them with all kinds of different things.

For instance breakfast can be a burrito stuffed with bacon, eggs, potatoes, and cheese, lunch can be a burrito stuffed with macaroni and cheese, and ham, and dinner can be a burrito stuffed with fried chicken, corn, green beans, and mashed potatoes.

Really anything can be in a burrito, even the desserts! If nothing else, your kids will likely come to the conclusion that they don't really want the same thing for every meal after all.

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My garage is too messy. How can I get it cleaned up and organized without much effort?

nossmf

A gallon of gasoline and a single match will reduce any chaotic mess into a uniform pile of ash in no time. You can even spend most of the time sitting in a chaise lounge chair observing and planning what you're gonna do with all the space uncovered.

My son is one step away from earning his Eagle Scout award, but has lost interest in finishing. As an Eagle Scout myself, I want him to reach the same level, but want it to be his decision, not mine. What should I do?