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Wrong answers ONLY!

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Replies

  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 19,024 Member
    (This is not the best wrong answer because if this a true scenario, I really hope he'll change his mind.)

    When talking to him, you should apply the same reverse psychology that you recommended using for exercise motivation.

    For example: it's good that he's lost interest in becoming an Eagle Scout. Why be lumped in with the 2% of the scouts who earn this distinction? Be average, not extraordinary! Also, he should know to include in his future resume, 'Not an Eagle Scout.' I've heard anecdotally that hiring managers - all other qualifications being equal - give extra weight to those resumes that include this kind of level of distinction. He should definitely prefer his resume go to the bottom of the stack, not the top, right?

    My new furnace baffles aren't working correctly. 😑 I have a guy coming back to check in things this afternoon. What's the best way to let him know I'm not happy with the new system?
  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 12,073 Member
    edited January 2022
    (True scenario, @cmsienk.)

    I recommend presenting the guy with an itemized list of charges he now owes. In some order, be sure to include false advertising, pain and suffering, mental anguish, and a dictionary with pictures so you can understand what on Earth baffles actually are.

    Growing up, all my cousins were simply "Cousin Adam" or "Cousin Jennifer", all of whom lived a thousand miles away. But my wife was raised with several generations of family all living close together, and reunions are always confusing times for me. Could somebody please explain to me what a second cousin twice removed means? (For the record, also a true scenario...)
  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 13,194 Member
    edited January 2022
    We all have cousins -- first cousins, second cousins, even third cousins -- who come to visit and refuse to leave. It basically gets to the point where you have to forcibly remove them from your house!
    A second cousin twice removed is one that you had to remove twice because, just like the cat that came back, they came back. I've found that, in most cases, thrice removed is the max that is necessary for them to get the message.

    How long do you drain a hot water tank in order to get all of the sediment out of it, or at least enough, so that the heat sensor starts working again? (true scenario)
  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 12,073 Member
    How long depends on the size of the hole. If you use a small drill, it'll take hours to drain completely. But if you use a small amount of C4, you can speed up the process to as little as a few seconds!

    My wife's cat is looking at over $4 thousand in dental work in a couple weeks. Any suggestions on ways to reduce the bill? (true)
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 19,024 Member
    edited January 2022
    Sign up for and take this comprehensive Feline Dentistry online course for only $495. That's way cheaper than $4,000 and I see a bonus side hustle in your future; do any of your neighbors have cats that need dental work?
    You thought I was kidding,
    didn't you?6uueoz8pl499.jpg
    My good friend has developed a bad habit of sighing constantly and he's asked me to help him stop. I suggested wearing a rubber band on his wrist and snapping it whenever he catches himself sighing, but he's not going for that. Any other ideas?
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    Taser? Squirting him in the face with a water gun? Charging him $100 each time?

    My dad is having a milestone birthday at the end of the month. What should I do for him?
  • s1im62
    s1im62 Posts: 31,600 Member
    Something that serves as a reminder of aging is best so he can enjoy the thoughts of getting older and look forward to the next milestone birthday! Maybe a giant poster of a shiny new hip or knee joint so he can anticipate having replacement surgery to get one of those babys installed. Alternatively, a cane or walker always is a nice gift, and is essentially the equivalent of a new sports car for us older guys!

    I have a bunch of glass panes from old windows I've replaced. Nobody seems to recycle plate glass, so my options are to find a way to re-use them somehow, or send them to the dump. Any ideas?
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 19,024 Member
    Since nobody is recycling plate glass anymore, this seems like a great business opportunity for you. Start your own plate glass recycling business. You recently cleaned out your garage, didn't you? Set up shop there and get the word out. Soon you'll have a steady stream of cars bringing plate glass to you. When you run out of space in your garage, set up rusty bins in your backyard for the overflow. Your neighbors will love the extra traffic and curb appeal.

    What's the best way to get a grease stain off a tablecloth?
  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 13,194 Member
    Grease stains are notoriously difficult to get out, so the solution is not to try. Instead, apply grease to the entire tablecloth so that there are no grease spots to stand out. Your visitors will be impressed with the difficult to describe off-white color of the tablecloth, and will ask you where you got it. Just tell them it was a gift from someone they'd be even further impressed with, and watch their envious surprise.

    I have some old computers I need to recycle this morning. Can anyone tell me where I can find Wall-E? I think my computers would be happy with him.
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    I heard that Wall-E ran with a roomba named Rhona and they are now living off the grid. Looks like you might be stuck with those computers. 🤷‍♀️

    Since I’ve already napped, worked, and had my first coffee today, what should I do with the rest of my day off?
  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 13,194 Member
    The possibilities are endless:
    • You could help me find Wall-E. It would be an exciting real-life adventure, much better than those fictional "Where's Waldo" or "Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego" games.
    • You could hit, one by one, all of your nearby beaches. I hear they're as warm as the Mediterranean this time of year.
    • You could read the Great Books this morning, then practice fencing and tai chi in the afternoon, and go to the Symphony in the evening..
    • You could create a new irresistible flavour of Canadian ice cream.
    • You could repaint your whole house.
    • ...

    I'm overdue for a swim... it's been 3 days. How far should I swim today?
  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 12,073 Member
    edited January 2022
    s1im62 wrote: »
    Alternatively, a cane or walker always is a nice gift, and is essentially the equivalent of a new sports car for us older guys!

    True story...my father and his brothers made a game of sending a cane to each other when they reached 50. Same cane, with additions from each owner...a horn, a rear-view mirror, etc. Here in a few years I reach 50...not sure what'll be added when it becomes my turn to receive it...

    Practice makes perfect. Nap...work...coffee...repeat. You should be able to get at least six repeats of this cycle per weekend day, which adds up to 624 times per year. They say you become truly expert after a thousand repetitions, so in less than two years you'll be a master napper/worker/coffeeer.

    You haven't swum in 3 days? You need to make up for it by catching up on your swimming. If you normally get in 30 laps, then today you need to log 120 laps (30x3 missed plus 30 today). If you normally log 1 mile, today you need to do 4. Better get to swimming...you do not want to make it a week between swims!

    It's now two weeks into the New Year...when should I take down the Christmas decorations?
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    If you’ve left them up this long, might as well leave them up the rest of the year. You can add hearts for Valentine’s Day and your upcoming 20th, birthday hats and streamers for the kids bdays, and golf clubs on it for Father’s Day.

    @frankwbrown, I’m going to skip the beach option today since I don’t appreciate large waves and strong currents. 😅

    I’m now officially a student again though work hasn’t slowed down any. What should I do to free up more time in my life?
  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 12,073 Member
    Ever see Harry Potter when Hermione uses a magical watch to travel back in time, be in two places at once and get more done? They're available on Ebay, $19.99 plus tax, not available in Hawaii.

    My son, who's had his driver's license for about three years, has now totaled two cars and crashed two others which were repairable. I've started calling him a Car Killer, but my wife wants me to be more respectful. Any suggestions on a respectful nickname for the Car Killer?
  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 13,194 Member
    I'd be inclined to call him Demolition Man, but I think he needs to demolish at least a couple more cars to earn that title. Until then, you might consider calling him Wreck It Ralph.

    I'm trying to improve my diet by eating more fruit. How much fruit - and what kind - should I eat per day?
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    I think you should put a basket of fruit on your head and eat that amount per day. Think of your improved posture and exercise that would come of it too! I suggest items that don’t roll around too much at first…work up to those ones.

    I’m at work and dreaming of a vacation. Where shall I go (bonus points if work cannot find or reach me 😅)
  • s1im62
    s1im62 Posts: 31,600 Member
    edited January 2022
    Antarctica is the perfect getaway. Virtually unspoiled and no crowds at the beaches if you don't count penguins. No cell service there, so no interruptions!

    It seems difficult to get help at home improvement stores these days. How can one get staff to show up when help is needed?
  • sandejones
    sandejones Posts: 1,840 Member
    Go to the chain saw section and start it up to test it. You'll have more help than you need.


    We are taking all our raised gardens out to return to lawn. But we're left with a mountain of soil.
    Ay ideas what to do with it?
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    Make giant mud heaps on the front lawn and invite little kids over to play in it. Not only will you be the hit of the 1-7 year old neighbourhood kids, they'll return home covered in the stuff. Over time you'll have none left. Problem solved!

    How much water should I be drinking each day and are there sources that I can get it from other than actually drinking water?
  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 13,194 Member
    Snow cones are a great way to get water, especially this time of year in Canada, where there's plenty of snow to be had. There's a variety of syrups available to keep it satisfying. Just keep a snow cone in hand eating them constantly all day long, and you should get all the water you need.

    Speaking of water, I just drank 32 oz of water with dinner. Plus, I ate a 10 oz bowl of fresh pineapple. I feel rather full, maybe a little overfull. What should I do?
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 19,024 Member
    Quickly eat an equal amount of dry rice - 42 oz. It'll absorb the water and the moisture from the pineapple - quickly canceling out all that liquid and instantly make you feel less full, probably even hungry again.

    I made an ice cream cake this weekend that wasn't very successful. It tasted really good, but even though I had it in the freezer for 3 hours, it started melting almost as soon as I took it out to serve it. What could I have done differently?
  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 13,194 Member
    edited January 2022
    The best way to ensure an ice cream cake doesn't melt is to not use ice cream. Instead, use flour. It needn't be wheat flour, you can use, for example, almond flour or hazelnut flour, and of course you will need an ample quantity of cocoa. Alternatively, if you have access to a walk-in freezer, you could always eat the ice cream cake while in the freezer. If no such freezer is available, simply use a liquid nitrogen bath to solidify the cake before serving.

    What am I still doing up, at 12:27am?
  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 12,073 Member
    Per my display, you posted your question about being up at 12:27am at 1:27am. You need to recalibrate your clocks and ask your question again.

    Due to budgetary constraints, my membership to the local gym is on hold, so I've been using the gym at work. On my days off, how can I get a workout in without actually going to work?
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 19,024 Member
    Per my display, he posted at 3:27am, so you also need to recalibrate...

    Set up an actual size American Ninja Warrior course in your backyard for exercising on your days off. You'll probably have to expand it to your neighbors on either side.

    Is there a better way to separate laundry than just dark and light colors?
  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 13,194 Member
    Yes there is. The most important thing is to separate the dirty clothes from the clean clothes. Then, if you choose, you can even forego laundering the clean clothes altogether. Secondly, you should separate out the clothes that you've been complimented on. These clothes deserve special treatment because they make you look good. Thirdly, categorize clothes into piles where their size and weight are within 5% of each other. This will insure that none of them get pushed around. There's nothing worse than a big heavy shirt pushing around a nice pair of socks.

    Should I finish this box of chocolates? Too late.
    I'm going to Red Lobster for lunch with my sister's family, to celebrate a niece moving into a new apartment. What should I order from the menu?
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 19,024 Member
    edited January 2022
    Wasn't it @nossmf who suggested bringing along one's own laminated menu when going out to eat? I encourage you to do this for your Red Lobster excursion. That way you can order exactly what you're in the mood for and then may I suggest a second box of chocolates for dessert. 🍫

    Thank you for your helpful laundry sorting suggestions. Along those lines, I'm tired of ironing my blouses. What can I do instead to get them wrinkle-free?
  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 12,073 Member
    edited January 2022
    No, you really should not finish that box of chocolates. Bad things will happen if you do.

    Red Lobster has tanks of live lobsters in the reception area. Encourage your niece to select her favorite and give it a name. Let's say she chooses Frank. Ask the server to prepare Frank for her, and as a special celebration that she be present to witness the entire thing. She'll be there to watch Frank be removed from his safe haven, boiled alive, and plated for her. Then with every bite of Frank, she must loudly proclaim for everybody within hearing about the sacrifice of Frank, how he gave his life that others may live, and no greater love hath a man or crustacean than this.


    They only appear wrinkled because of visual comparisons to your smooth skin. Try laying off the wrinkle-cream, take extra long baths to get that washer-woman effect. When your skin has more wrinkles than your shirt, nobody will notice the shirt.

    I'm trying to work from home, while my kids have the day off from school for MLK Day. This is very distracting. How can I stay focused?
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    Wear ear plugs under ear muffs with horse blinders and work in a place they’d never think to visit…like the laundry room or the storage closet under the stairs. Even better, go to work and work from there. You’re boss will be so appreciative of you working on MLK day you’ll probably get a raise.

    I need a new series to watch on Netflix or Prime. Have you got any suggestions?
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 19,024 Member
    edited January 2022
    I recommend The Life Cycle of the Fruitfly which has only 1 season or Teenagers which has 6 seasons - starting with age 13. Each season focuses on the most annoying thing about that year of a teenager's life. Riveting stuff that everyone will want to relive.

    It's been very cold here and I've been making soup. I'm getting bored with chili and chicken vegetable. Got any ideas for my next soup to make?
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    I found your answer on the Campbell’s soup website and the bonus is you can get exercise while sourcing your ingredients:

    Birds nest soup is exactly what it sounds like. It is a soup made from a birds nest, specifically the nest of the Swiftlet. This soup is expensive for two very good reasons. First, collection of Swiftlet nests is regulated so supply is limited. Second, the birds build their nests high on the sides of caves. This means nest collectors must risk life and limb over vertigo inducing drops to collect even a few of the tiny nests.
    Each nest is made almost entirely of the dry spit of the Swiftlet. A single bowl of the soup can cost £68 and one kilogram of nests is worth about £1,375. To make the soup, you boil the birds nest until it becomes soft like a jelly. The ingredients include:

    Birds nest
    Eggs
    Chicken broth
    Rice wine
    Pepper

    I’m doing a project for school and need to share my personal core values. What are yours?

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