The iMago Relationship Advice thread
Replies
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sweet_ermengarde wrote: »@iMago
there’s this guy who expects me to clean up after him all the time while he just lays around all day. worse he has no job and always interrupts me while i’m working because he’s bored and like super needy. i do all the cooking and cleaning and shopping and he never leaves the house bc of severe agoraphobia and he’s not vaccinated. just last night he woke me up at like 3 am to ask some question (he doesn’t speak English so i’m not sure what he was asking but it was probably something stupid that could’ve waited until morning). anyways he’s really cute, so what can i do to make our relationship better?
is he a cat
he sounds like a cat
you cant trust them they'll steal* your breath while you're sleeping everyone knows that
no youre confused, its “they eat your face when u die”
anyways i’m thinking a lavender scented “calming collar”4 -
sweet_ermengarde wrote: »sweet_ermengarde wrote: »@iMago
there’s this guy who expects me to clean up after him all the time while he just lays around all day. worse he has no job and always interrupts me while i’m working because he’s bored and like super needy. i do all the cooking and cleaning and shopping and he never leaves the house bc of severe agoraphobia and he’s not vaccinated. just last night he woke me up at like 3 am to ask some question (he doesn’t speak English so i’m not sure what he was asking but it was probably something stupid that could’ve waited until morning). anyways he’s really cute, so what can i do to make our relationship better?
is he a cat
he sounds like a cat
you cant trust them they'll steal* your breath while you're sleeping everyone knows that
no youre confused, its “they eat your face when u die”
anyways i’m thinking a lavender scented “calming collar”
It's an old wives tale to explain SIDS. Been around since.... 1600's?2 -
GymGoddessGoals wrote: »sweet_ermengarde wrote: »sweet_ermengarde wrote: »@iMago
there’s this guy who expects me to clean up after him all the time while he just lays around all day. worse he has no job and always interrupts me while i’m working because he’s bored and like super needy. i do all the cooking and cleaning and shopping and he never leaves the house bc of severe agoraphobia and he’s not vaccinated. just last night he woke me up at like 3 am to ask some question (he doesn’t speak English so i’m not sure what he was asking but it was probably something stupid that could’ve waited until morning). anyways he’s really cute, so what can i do to make our relationship better?
is he a cat
he sounds like a cat
you cant trust them they'll steal* your breath while you're sleeping everyone knows that
no youre confused, its “they eat your face when u die”
anyways i’m thinking a lavender scented “calming collar”
It's an old wives tale to explain SIDS. Been around since.... 1600's?
yes but the face eating thing is a true story2 -
sweet_ermengarde wrote: »GymGoddessGoals wrote: »sweet_ermengarde wrote: »sweet_ermengarde wrote: »@iMago
there’s this guy who expects me to clean up after him all the time while he just lays around all day. worse he has no job and always interrupts me while i’m working because he’s bored and like super needy. i do all the cooking and cleaning and shopping and he never leaves the house bc of severe agoraphobia and he’s not vaccinated. just last night he woke me up at like 3 am to ask some question (he doesn’t speak English so i’m not sure what he was asking but it was probably something stupid that could’ve waited until morning). anyways he’s really cute, so what can i do to make our relationship better?
is he a cat
he sounds like a cat
you cant trust them they'll steal* your breath while you're sleeping everyone knows that
no youre confused, its “they eat your face when u die”
anyways i’m thinking a lavender scented “calming collar”
It's an old wives tale to explain SIDS. Been around since.... 1600's?
yes but the face eating thing is a true story
well tbf most animals would eat your face after death if they got hungry enough. except geese- they're vegan.
also cockroaches love the taste of eyelashes. heck they don't even have to wait until you're a goner to get a taste. so just think about that the next time you feel something tickling your face in the middle of the night.3 -
sweet_ermengarde wrote: »GymGoddessGoals wrote: »sweet_ermengarde wrote: »sweet_ermengarde wrote: »@iMago
there’s this guy who expects me to clean up after him all the time while he just lays around all day. worse he has no job and always interrupts me while i’m working because he’s bored and like super needy. i do all the cooking and cleaning and shopping and he never leaves the house bc of severe agoraphobia and he’s not vaccinated. just last night he woke me up at like 3 am to ask some question (he doesn’t speak English so i’m not sure what he was asking but it was probably something stupid that could’ve waited until morning). anyways he’s really cute, so what can i do to make our relationship better?
is he a cat
he sounds like a cat
you cant trust them they'll steal* your breath while you're sleeping everyone knows that
no youre confused, its “they eat your face when u die”
anyways i’m thinking a lavender scented “calming collar”
It's an old wives tale to explain SIDS. Been around since.... 1600's?
yes but the face eating thing is a true story
well tbf most animals would eat your face after death if they got hungry enough. except geese- they're vegan.
also cockroaches love the taste of eyelashes. heck they don't even have to wait until you're a goner to get a taste. so just think about that the next time you feel something tickling your face in the middle of the night.
never forget tho, the cat ate his face and there was still binkies in his kibble bowl3 -
sweet_ermengarde wrote: »GymGoddessGoals wrote: »sweet_ermengarde wrote: »sweet_ermengarde wrote: »@iMago
there’s this guy who expects me to clean up after him all the time while he just lays around all day. worse he has no job and always interrupts me while i’m working because he’s bored and like super needy. i do all the cooking and cleaning and shopping and he never leaves the house bc of severe agoraphobia and he’s not vaccinated. just last night he woke me up at like 3 am to ask some question (he doesn’t speak English so i’m not sure what he was asking but it was probably something stupid that could’ve waited until morning). anyways he’s really cute, so what can i do to make our relationship better?
is he a cat
he sounds like a cat
you cant trust them they'll steal* your breath while you're sleeping everyone knows that
no youre confused, its “they eat your face when u die”
anyways i’m thinking a lavender scented “calming collar”
It's an old wives tale to explain SIDS. Been around since.... 1600's?
yes but the face eating thing is a true story
well tbf most animals would eat your face after death if they got hungry enough. except geese- they're vegan.
also cockroaches love the taste of eyelashes. heck they don't even have to wait until you're a goner to get a taste. so just think about that the next time you feel something tickling your face in the middle of the night.
and a goose would kill a man for fun so2 -
sweet_ermengarde wrote: »GymGoddessGoals wrote: »sweet_ermengarde wrote: »sweet_ermengarde wrote: »@iMago
there’s this guy who expects me to clean up after him all the time while he just lays around all day. worse he has no job and always interrupts me while i’m working because he’s bored and like super needy. i do all the cooking and cleaning and shopping and he never leaves the house bc of severe agoraphobia and he’s not vaccinated. just last night he woke me up at like 3 am to ask some question (he doesn’t speak English so i’m not sure what he was asking but it was probably something stupid that could’ve waited until morning). anyways he’s really cute, so what can i do to make our relationship better?
is he a cat
he sounds like a cat
you cant trust them they'll steal* your breath while you're sleeping everyone knows that
no youre confused, its “they eat your face when u die”
anyways i’m thinking a lavender scented “calming collar”
It's an old wives tale to explain SIDS. Been around since.... 1600's?
yes but the face eating thing is a true story
Facts2 -
sweet_ermengarde wrote: »GymGoddessGoals wrote: »sweet_ermengarde wrote: »sweet_ermengarde wrote: »@iMago
there’s this guy who expects me to clean up after him all the time while he just lays around all day. worse he has no job and always interrupts me while i’m working because he’s bored and like super needy. i do all the cooking and cleaning and shopping and he never leaves the house bc of severe agoraphobia and he’s not vaccinated. just last night he woke me up at like 3 am to ask some question (he doesn’t speak English so i’m not sure what he was asking but it was probably something stupid that could’ve waited until morning). anyways he’s really cute, so what can i do to make our relationship better?
is he a cat
he sounds like a cat
you cant trust them they'll steal* your breath while you're sleeping everyone knows that
no youre confused, its “they eat your face when u die”
anyways i’m thinking a lavender scented “calming collar”
It's an old wives tale to explain SIDS. Been around since.... 1600's?
yes but the face eating thing is a true story
well tbf most animals would eat your face after death if they got hungry enough. except geese- they're vegan.
also cockroaches love the taste of eyelashes. heck they don't even have to wait until you're a goner to get a taste. so just think about that the next time you feel something tickling your face in the middle of the night.
😳 you're evil3 -
sweet_ermengarde wrote: »GymGoddessGoals wrote: »sweet_ermengarde wrote: »sweet_ermengarde wrote: »@iMago
there’s this guy who expects me to clean up after him all the time while he just lays around all day. worse he has no job and always interrupts me while i’m working because he’s bored and like super needy. i do all the cooking and cleaning and shopping and he never leaves the house bc of severe agoraphobia and he’s not vaccinated. just last night he woke me up at like 3 am to ask some question (he doesn’t speak English so i’m not sure what he was asking but it was probably something stupid that could’ve waited until morning). anyways he’s really cute, so what can i do to make our relationship better?
is he a cat
he sounds like a cat
you cant trust them they'll steal* your breath while you're sleeping everyone knows that
no youre confused, its “they eat your face when u die”
anyways i’m thinking a lavender scented “calming collar”
It's an old wives tale to explain SIDS. Been around since.... 1600's?
yes but the face eating thing is a true story
well tbf most animals would eat your face after death if they got hungry enough. except geese- they're vegan.
also cockroaches love the taste of eyelashes. heck they don't even have to wait until you're a goner to get a taste. so just think about that the next time you feel something tickling your face in the middle of the night.
eeeewww...now ill never sleep normally2 -
@iMago my kitchen knives are terribly dull, they wont even cut a nylon strap without sawing it back & forth and it just kills the mood entirely. what do u suggest?5
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sweet_ermengarde wrote: »@iMago my kitchen knives are terribly dull, they wont even cut a nylon strap without sawing it back & forth and it just kills the mood entirely. what do u suggest?
use an axe5 -
@iMago i think a man is trying to manipulate me into giving revealing pics, how do i figure out if that’s what he’s doing, like how would he do it exactly in step-by-step directions please so that i can clearly tell if thats what he’s doing and not because i would ever use it against any hapless females4
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@iMago i think a man is trying to manipulate me into giving revealing pics, how do i figure out if that’s what he’s doing, like how would he do it exactly in step-by-step directions please so that i can clearly tell if thats what he’s doing and not because i would ever use it against any hapless females
Step 1: Do you have any progress pics?4 -
@iMago i think a man is trying to manipulate me into giving revealing pics, how do i figure out if that’s what he’s doing, like how would he do it exactly in step-by-step directions please so that i can clearly tell if thats what he’s doing and not because i would ever use it against any hapless females
the trick is to not ask3 -
@iMago i think a man is trying to manipulate me into giving revealing pics, how do i figure out if that’s what he’s doing, like how would he do it exactly in step-by-step directions please so that i can clearly tell if thats what he’s doing and not because i would ever use it against any hapless females
the trick is to not ask
He definitely didn’t do that right. Okay so2 -
@iMago i think a man is trying to manipulate me into giving revealing pics, how do i figure out if that’s what he’s doing, like how would he do it exactly in step-by-step directions please so that i can clearly tell if thats what he’s doing and not because i would ever use it against any hapless females
the trick is to not ask
He definitely didn’t do that right. Okay so
prob best to just be mysterious until the intrigue gets the best of them then idk
or just straight up ask without any guile, but that's usually best if you do it in a funny way or send a meme (i have my own personal fave for this but can't post it here sorry)4 -
@iMago i think a man is trying to manipulate me into giving revealing pics, how do i figure out if that’s what he’s doing, like how would he do it exactly in step-by-step directions please so that i can clearly tell if thats what he’s doing and not because i would ever use it against any hapless females
the trick is to not ask
He definitely didn’t do that right. Okay so
prob best to just be mysterious until the intrigue gets the best of them then idk
or just straight up ask without any guile, but that's usually best if you do it in a funny way or send a meme (i have my own personal fave for this but can't post it here sorry)
Yall really have your work cut out for you, have you ever tried just laying it all out on a ruler and seeing what she wants to send back?4 -
@iMago i think a man is trying to manipulate me into giving revealing pics, how do i figure out if that’s what he’s doing, like how would he do it exactly in step-by-step directions please so that i can clearly tell if thats what he’s doing and not because i would ever use it against any hapless females
the trick is to not ask
He definitely didn’t do that right. Okay so
prob best to just be mysterious until the intrigue gets the best of them then idk
or just straight up ask without any guile, but that's usually best if you do it in a funny way or send a meme (i have my own personal fave for this but can't post it here sorry)
Yall really have your work cut out for you, have you ever tried just laying it all out on a ruler and seeing what she wants to send back?
no cause if you're a guy you never send the first anything. otherwise you're going into her chat group and getting roasted.3 -
@iMago i think a man is trying to manipulate me into giving revealing pics, how do i figure out if that’s what he’s doing, like how would he do it exactly in step-by-step directions please so that i can clearly tell if thats what he’s doing and not because i would ever use it against any hapless females
the trick is to not ask
He definitely didn’t do that right. Okay so
prob best to just be mysterious until the intrigue gets the best of them then idk
or just straight up ask without any guile, but that's usually best if you do it in a funny way or send a meme (i have my own personal fave for this but can't post it here sorry)
Yall really have your work cut out for you, have you ever tried just laying it all out on a ruler and seeing what she wants to send back?
no cause if you're a guy you never send the first anything. otherwise you're going into her chat group and getting roasted.
Can confirmI really did get the ol unsolicited sausage on a ruler pic in my early mfp days, delivered with a completely unironic tale about how his wife took the pic and thought it would be funny for him to show me3 -
@iMago i think a man is trying to manipulate me into giving revealing pics, how do i figure out if that’s what he’s doing, like how would he do it exactly in step-by-step directions please so that i can clearly tell if thats what he’s doing and not because i would ever use it against any hapless females
the trick is to not ask
He definitely didn’t do that right. Okay so
prob best to just be mysterious until the intrigue gets the best of them then idk
or just straight up ask without any guile, but that's usually best if you do it in a funny way or send a meme (i have my own personal fave for this but can't post it here sorry)
Yall really have your work cut out for you, have you ever tried just laying it all out on a ruler and seeing what she wants to send back?
no cause if you're a guy you never send the first anything. otherwise you're going into her chat group and getting roasted.
Can confirmI really did get the ol unsolicited sausage on a ruler pic in my early mfp days, delivered with a completely unironic tale about how his wife took the pic and thought it would be funny for him to show me
haha everybody knows, no matter what the pic is, no matter how obvious it is, you're supposed to "sorry dropped my phone". in fact the more obvious that's a lie, the better and more hilarious it is.2 -
@iMago i think a man is trying to manipulate me into giving revealing pics, how do i figure out if that’s what he’s doing, like how would he do it exactly in step-by-step directions please so that i can clearly tell if thats what he’s doing and not because i would ever use it against any hapless females
the trick is to not ask
He definitely didn’t do that right. Okay so
prob best to just be mysterious until the intrigue gets the best of them then idk
or just straight up ask without any guile, but that's usually best if you do it in a funny way or send a meme (i have my own personal fave for this but can't post it here sorry)
Yall really have your work cut out for you, have you ever tried just laying it all out on a ruler and seeing what she wants to send back?
no cause if you're a guy you never send the first anything. otherwise you're going into her chat group and getting roasted.
Can confirmI really did get the ol unsolicited sausage on a ruler pic in my early mfp days, delivered with a completely unironic tale about how his wife took the pic and thought it would be funny for him to show me
haha everybody knows, no matter what the pic is, no matter how obvious it is, you're supposed to "sorry dropped my phone". in fact the more obvious that's a lie, the better and more hilarious it is.
See now that i could respect3 -
@iMago i think a man is trying to manipulate me into giving revealing pics, how do i figure out if that’s what he’s doing, like how would he do it exactly in step-by-step directions please so that i can clearly tell if thats what he’s doing and not because i would ever use it against any hapless females
the trick is to not ask
He definitely didn’t do that right. Okay so
prob best to just be mysterious until the intrigue gets the best of them then idk
or just straight up ask without any guile, but that's usually best if you do it in a funny way or send a meme (i have my own personal fave for this but can't post it here sorry)
Yall really have your work cut out for you, have you ever tried just laying it all out on a ruler and seeing what she wants to send back?
no cause if you're a guy you never send the first anything. otherwise you're going into her chat group and getting roasted.
Can confirmI really did get the ol unsolicited sausage on a ruler pic in my early mfp days, delivered with a completely unironic tale about how his wife took the pic and thought it would be funny for him to show me
haha everybody knows, no matter what the pic is, no matter how obvious it is, you're supposed to "sorry dropped my phone". in fact the more obvious that's a lie, the better and more hilarious it is.
See now that i could respect
yeah its the logical extension of "felt cute might delete later"3 -
@iMago i think a man is trying to manipulate me into giving revealing pics, how do i figure out if that’s what he’s doing, like how would he do it exactly in step-by-step directions please so that i can clearly tell if thats what he’s doing and not because i would ever use it against any hapless females
the trick is to not ask
He definitely didn’t do that right. Okay so
prob best to just be mysterious until the intrigue gets the best of them then idk
or just straight up ask without any guile, but that's usually best if you do it in a funny way or send a meme (i have my own personal fave for this but can't post it here sorry)
Yall really have your work cut out for you, have you ever tried just laying it all out on a ruler and seeing what she wants to send back?
no cause if you're a guy you never send the first anything. otherwise you're going into her chat group and getting roasted.
Can confirmI really did get the ol unsolicited sausage on a ruler pic in my early mfp days, delivered with a completely unironic tale about how his wife took the pic and thought it would be funny for him to show me
haha everybody knows, no matter what the pic is, no matter how obvious it is, you're supposed to "sorry dropped my phone". in fact the more obvious that's a lie, the better and more hilarious it is.
See now that i could respect
yeah its the logical extension of "felt cute might delete later"
Thank you, you’ve been very helpful might drop my phone in the tub later idk3 -
@iMago i think a man is trying to manipulate me into giving revealing pics, how do i figure out if that’s what he’s doing, like how would he do it exactly in step-by-step directions please so that i can clearly tell if thats what he’s doing and not because i would ever use it against any hapless females
the trick is to not ask
He definitely didn’t do that right. Okay so
prob best to just be mysterious until the intrigue gets the best of them then idk
or just straight up ask without any guile, but that's usually best if you do it in a funny way or send a meme (i have my own personal fave for this but can't post it here sorry)
Yall really have your work cut out for you, have you ever tried just laying it all out on a ruler and seeing what she wants to send back?
no cause if you're a guy you never send the first anything. otherwise you're going into her chat group and getting roasted.
Can confirmI really did get the ol unsolicited sausage on a ruler pic in my early mfp days, delivered with a completely unironic tale about how his wife took the pic and thought it would be funny for him to show me
haha everybody knows, no matter what the pic is, no matter how obvious it is, you're supposed to "sorry dropped my phone". in fact the more obvious that's a lie, the better and more hilarious it is.
See now that i could respect
yeah its the logical extension of "felt cute might delete later"
Thank you, you’ve been very helpful might drop my phone in the tub later idk
how much later ??
3 -
@iMago i think a man is trying to manipulate me into giving revealing pics, how do i figure out if that’s what he’s doing, like how would he do it exactly in step-by-step directions please so that i can clearly tell if thats what he’s doing and not because i would ever use it against any hapless females
the trick is to not ask
He definitely didn’t do that right. Okay so
prob best to just be mysterious until the intrigue gets the best of them then idk
or just straight up ask without any guile, but that's usually best if you do it in a funny way or send a meme (i have my own personal fave for this but can't post it here sorry)
Yall really have your work cut out for you, have you ever tried just laying it all out on a ruler and seeing what she wants to send back?
no cause if you're a guy you never send the first anything. otherwise you're going into her chat group and getting roasted.
Can confirmI really did get the ol unsolicited sausage on a ruler pic in my early mfp days, delivered with a completely unironic tale about how his wife took the pic and thought it would be funny for him to show me
haha everybody knows, no matter what the pic is, no matter how obvious it is, you're supposed to "sorry dropped my phone". in fact the more obvious that's a lie, the better and more hilarious it is.
See now that i could respect
yeah its the logical extension of "felt cute might delete later"
Thank you, you’ve been very helpful might drop my phone in the tub later idk
i think? you're supposed to use that eyes emoji when they say things like this...hold on i got it here somewhere. yeah this one: 👁️👁️
2 -
Motorsheen wrote: »@iMago i think a man is trying to manipulate me into giving revealing pics, how do i figure out if that’s what he’s doing, like how would he do it exactly in step-by-step directions please so that i can clearly tell if thats what he’s doing and not because i would ever use it against any hapless females
the trick is to not ask
He definitely didn’t do that right. Okay so
prob best to just be mysterious until the intrigue gets the best of them then idk
or just straight up ask without any guile, but that's usually best if you do it in a funny way or send a meme (i have my own personal fave for this but can't post it here sorry)
Yall really have your work cut out for you, have you ever tried just laying it all out on a ruler and seeing what she wants to send back?
no cause if you're a guy you never send the first anything. otherwise you're going into her chat group and getting roasted.
Can confirmI really did get the ol unsolicited sausage on a ruler pic in my early mfp days, delivered with a completely unironic tale about how his wife took the pic and thought it would be funny for him to show me
haha everybody knows, no matter what the pic is, no matter how obvious it is, you're supposed to "sorry dropped my phone". in fact the more obvious that's a lie, the better and more hilarious it is.
See now that i could respect
yeah its the logical extension of "felt cute might delete later"
Thank you, you’ve been very helpful might drop my phone in the tub later idk
how much later ??
All i know is i’m gonna be busy um spinning at 8pm estBut i intend to be wide open the rest of the night4
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