Less Alcohol - DECEMBER 2020 - One Day At A Time

globalhiker

Looking back, in my 20s and 30s I never cared for drinking. I would drink at an occasional Saturday night party, that would be it. I was just too busy with being a mom. In my 40s after several work promotions I started traveling a lot and being away from home. Lots of late night work events and dinners....that's when I was introduced to real good quality wine and I loved it. I would be away from home weeks at a time and find myself drinking wine in my hotel room nightly - alone- to kill the loneliness and also to help me get to sleep. This would be after the late night work dinner parties too.....

Strangely, I adapted to the drinking and could function perfectly in the morning. And when I was drinking I had a good degree of tolerance so never an embarrassing moment. I would even boast about how strong my liver was and how well I could tolerate a bottle of wine a night.

The more I flew, the more I encountered flight delays and cancellations. My choices were to sit in a corner and work on the floor or sit at the airport bar for -hours- waiting for the next flight. I sat at the airport bar and would have at least 2 of the large 9 ounce wines, or more. The wine was free because the company reimbursed for it. And, it seemed like most other businesspeople were doing the same....so it felt very normal to do this.

It caught up to me though- as it always does! Last year I had to have a partial mastectomy to remove bad tissue and had to go on chemo-prevention drugs that were horrible. My body is now somewhat deformed as a result. I have to see an oncologist twice a year now and I am closely monitored. My cancer risk is now very high compared to most. Doctors blame the wine and said it had to go.

Thankfully I am no longer at that job. I miss the money lots but I won't work another job like that again because I will land in a bad place.

Lessons learned. Health is my new priority. That's my story.

brittgreenlikethecolor88

AF day yesterday

1 AF days / 2 day

Goal: 5 AF days / 7 days

mainelylisa

My story is somewhat a combo of @MissMay & @globalhiker. My first drink (half bottle cheap champagne) was at 17 with my boyfriend in a park. I did cartwheels. Wheeee! But didn't really get hammered until college. But even then, it was probably less than the "normal" college kid. I always liked the bar scene.

It started as a little girl. My mom was mentally ill, so my dad spent every night at the Embassy Club right next to NASA and either I begged him to take me with him, or he knew it was better than leaving me. I had my own seat. My own lil drink. Was so shy, I would never tell Terry Bone, the bartender, that I detested maraschino cherries, so always tried to plop them in Daddy's dirty martini. In college, I'd go the Student Union on Friday nights and study Spanish with a pitcher of beer while the band played.

I don't remember drinking being a thing after having kids until the were teens and I was essentially rendered non-essential. Then drinking got mixed up with dating and I really felt I needed to be tipsy to date. There was a traumatic blackout episode in grad school involving one of my teammates after celebrating a job well done. Oh, and I was traveling here and there and LOVED delays in airport bars. And duh, of course the 9 ounce wine (even though MOI was paying). I slept on a stranger's shoulder the whole flight one night that I'd met in the bar. And then met the unhappy eyes of my intercepting DH.

Then my parents started getting very sick and dying. Drinking to Escape officially began and sometimes my mind would get so very dark and twisted. Downed so many mini-bottles in nursing home parking lots. It's continued largely as an escape...I think somewhat from depression/being stuck/growing old/lack of adventure/challenge to look forward to/separated from kids/missing having a close girlfriend/sister I can talk to daily/missing parents.

Health and well-being, finding happiness and adventure and challenge and creativity and meaningful connections again are my priority.

Peach1948

I am having good days and bad days with my wine consumption. So happy to find a thread where I see that others are struggling and many are successful.

mainelylisa

Welcome, @Peach1948! We're very familiar with good and bad days. We all strive for our personal better, so hopefully the bad days are kept to a minimum.

CMB44512

MAN it makes me want to drink when I erase a post I wrote.

CMB44512

TJ_in_MA wrote: »

Thank you for this outlet of support. I need to cut back on alcohol which will help with weight loss and overall health. Even if I could just have zero drinks during the week that would be a victory.

Oh good another dude to bounce thoughts off of. Not that I dont like being surrounded by all the fine ladies on here. You ladies all have some remarkable guts. You macho guys out there should take notice.

When next week rolls around I will open my kitchen cupboard door to find 6 beers ready in there so I don't have to by any. Gonna save some dough. This small goal could pay off.

CryingBlue

Day 2 down!
Lots of triggers today.
Working with my father in law making sasuage links. Love that man but he's an *kitten*.
Cooking dinner always calls for me to want to drink wine.
And my cranky teenager.
But I made it. My goal is 21 AF days in a row. Hopefully my husband will be willing to join me with some wine for my birthday.

Lilylady3k

Very very long day helping my mom. Between trying to straighten out all the bank accounts they both had at multiple banks, the tv subscriptions, cleaning the garage, and working toward but not success fixing her phone ... I opted for picking up dinner at the Bait Shop (fried shrimp & fries) and wine. This wine was a bottle my sister called and told me she stashed so it was good. She figured I needed and wanted it given all that I'm trying to complete this week. My mom said as I said goodnight ... you have lots of patience. Oh did I mention we got everything (EVERYTHING) out of the attic and moved it to closets ... and she is decorating the house with multiple trees and more than dozen bins of decorations. Also gathering stuff for her garage sale on Saturday.
I am glad that I set aside the whole week.

Dec accountability: 0/2 days AF

globalhiker

@mainelylisa , big thanks for writing what you wrote. I can relate to it. My ex-husband left, parents passed away, my kids grown and left, vacation home had to be sold, job went away, and my best-loved dog passed too, all of it in a very,very short window. When I wrote about my travel loneliness, it was more about a true story about how the drinking began, but what made it continue was the fact that alcohol was my loneliness remedy.

I honestly did not see this...big hugs for you for posting what you wrote, because you just opened my eyes to something I did not see....

dawnbgethealthy

Thank you for the stories!!

dawnbgethealthy

New home for the thread, but the same goals for me, 16-20 AF days per month.

Tuesday December 01 - AF - Super long and stressful work day, I really wanted a drink when I finally got home, but over the past months I have been trying to "save up" my drinking days for happy occasions, not to relieve stress. Planning AF for tomorrow also.
Wednesday December 02 - AF - I think that this might be my 4th AF day in a row.

Rolling total: 2AF day out of 2 days

MissMay

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. As @globalhiker said it triggered something she had never thought about when she read @mainelylisa post.

I believe we should remember how far we have come and pulled ourselves up out of. And why and what caused it and how can I make it better to move on. I am not a quitter. I will go through the process of cutting back because it is healthy and necessary.

QUITTING??? BAH HUMBUG. I prefer the face off when a problem is in front of me. You never know were you are going to find strength until you are tested.

MissMay

@CMB44512 that was very kind of you to compliment us here. Many thanks~
Yes you will open that cabinet door and POOF instant 6pack waiting. Reap those small rewards as they can roll into bigger rewards.

MissMay

Peach1948 wrote: »

I am having good days and bad days with my wine consumption. So happy to find a thread where I see that others are struggling and many are successful.

Welcome. How is it you would like to cut back. I am not a wine drinker but there are some on here that can share.

MissMay

@Lilylady3k huge huge job you are accomplishing. I have done this many times helping clients that have lost a loved one. You deserve a round of applause.👏

MissMay

My December tally thus far
AF
AF

(Drive by snide comments get whisked away with the swipe of my magic wand.)

mainelylisa

@globalhiker Your note brought tears to my eyes--it's always humbling to put stuff out there. And also, lost my beloved Kenzo (aka Dog-Dog) last Nov who was with me for 15 yrs and 4 states. Sounds like we need an adventure maybe hiking the globe when all is unicorns and rainbows in 2021!
@Lilylady3k There can be so much emotion as well as patiences and strength in helping sort things out--you're doing fabulous
@CMB44512 @TJ_in_MA Great to see dudes here! When you're tempted to go all-in, just remember that beer six-packs lead don't usually lead to abs six-packs
@CryingBlue Doesn't it feel powerful to knock 2 days out in a row?
@brittgreenlikethecolor88 You're doing great towards your goal!

globalhiker

@Peach1948 I also have good days and bad days. It's good to see what is it that happened on those good days and try to repeat it.

Separately analyze what happened on those bad days and what could be changed/prevented next time.

My good days usually involve logging here in the morning since that set's my "intention" for the day. I tell myself I will not over-think this or have internal debates, I create a firm message to myself: JUST DO IT.
It's then followed with exercise that helps me to manage stresses and emotions. On days where I have pre-planned drinks, I limit what I buy and don't keep more in the house.

My bad days usually involve not exercising, feeling ill or sore, feeling sad or mad I could not get my exercise outdoor due to bad pollution or weather, too much news/doomscrolling, shopping late in the day when hungry resulting in poor purchase decisions.

globalhiker

@mainelylisa my dog was 15 too....maybe I need a puppy for Christmas and that will solve all my problems

Let's shoot for Canada hiking next...this way we can visit Dawn for the mojito parties and I was hoping I'd learn some singing tips from her. Plus, wine is super expensive in Canada so we can't get into too much trouble....maybe...