Less Alcohol - JANUARY 2021 - One Day At A Time
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Thanks! I’m down 37lbs@Lilylady3k 👍👍 on your NSV.
Judging by how tight or loose your jeans are is also a good way to see victory. At times the bathroom scale confuses muscle mase with gaining pounds.
In reality muscle is more dense and takes up less volume than the other F word. Lol
Yay for you
I threw out all of one size pants and pulled out all the ones the next size down in my closet ... turned out they fit lose and need a belt! Also the daily planks & walking make me not feel the need to wear untucked shirts for first time in ages.
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I am Dawn, I live in SE BC
I will post with my usual diary style to keep track of my AF days.
Keeping to my usual goal of 16-20 AF days per month, which is manageable for me and doesn't put too much pressure on me.
Wednesday Jan 20 - AF - Managed to get out for a little hike and a little skate after work today. After getting in from the out of doors I really really wanted a Peppermint Schnapps in Cocoa, but I had drinks only yesterday, so talked myself out of it. Hit my 16 today : - )
Thursday Jan 21 - Drinks. Micro sips sort of. Had a fantastic hike, somewhere I hadn't been in years (can't go there spring, summer, or fall because there is a momma bear with cubs each year, and it is her home plus she might kill you). I had half ounces of a few mixtures including espresso baileys with other things mixed in. I measure always since joining this thread. I fell twice on the trail yesterday on ice, I'm okay, but pretty sore.
Rolling total 16AF days out of 21 days8 -
HerNameIsMischief wrote: »It's nothing to applaud because I still want to get at least somewhat messed up. I never want to get out of my mind, but I still tell myself I want one more time getting good and buzzed. What sucks is that being this fat and this experienced with booze means I can drink ludicrous amounts, usually over an extended period of time, without really getting out of my mind.
You will find that your tolerance wanes once you cut back. Truly.
Then you can get a good buzz going with 2 or 3 instead of 12.
Cutting back on booze causes weight loss. Once you lose weight you will not be able to drink as much either without it affecting you more.
Accountability and desire to cut back is where it starts. This is a supportive thread. Check in daily.
Baby steps.8 -
Not everyone needs this encouragement. But for those who do. BAM!
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@Amanda_Brit_Expat oh the heat would get to me for sure! Totally hear you on that one.
There is a phenomenon called the “Seattle Freeze “ that I learned about when I lived Washington. If you’re not born and raised there, Everyone is really nice, down to earth, friendly, etc. However, if you try to take the friendship to the next level by suggesting going out for lunch or coffee, they get panicked look in their eye and make an excuse to beg off the invitation.
Now, I personally did not experience this, but saw it happen to a friend of mine, who, like me, came from elsewhere to live in the area for our husband’s work. And for those of you from Seattle, I mean no disrespect! It may even be an urban legend. Or maybe it doesn’t extend all the way up to Bellingham, where I lived.
My point is maybe that’s the phenomenon you are experiencing, and if so, it’s hard to break through. Don’t give up hope. Your people are out there. You can’t possibly be the only lonely transplant looking for deeper connections.
Or, ya know, just put the house up for sale now and take advantage of a sellers market! Haha!
This!! This is exactly what I think it is, but I couldn't put it into words the way you did. The 'Seattle Freeze' that term fits perfectly with what I have experienced here in San Antonio. When we sold our last house I wasn't working so I decided to get my Realtor license and sell it myself to save on the fees (saved over 10k and would recommend to anyone who has the time). Whilst I was working at the broker's office everyone was super friendly, and every time I said something like "Hey let's grab a coffee sometime and hang out" I would get a reply like: "Sounds awesome let's do it!" .... then crickets. I would drop a msg a week or two later eg. "Was great catching up with you in the office, shoot me a text anytime you wanna grab a coffee", and I would get something like a thumbs up and then nothing.
This has happened everywhere since I moved here - at my job on the military base, at the Realtor's office, and the art classes I went to, at the gym. it never happened before moving here. It's difficult not to take it personally after 8 years of this, but I notice how easy it is for those who grew up here to talk to each other, shared high school experiences, shared acquaintances, same sports teams they support, shared memories of old tv programs, etc and my history shares none of that with them.
Yes, it is a seller's market atm, I really hope that lasts! We just bought an RV and are visiting the places we might like to move to. On this list so far is AR, ID, CO. I know I will always be an outsider, but at least we could find somewhere cooler and small town instead of big city.6 -
I'm motivated and inspired reading all these posts, I love this thread!
Before I joined in here my alcohol intake was nearly daily, maybe one AF day a week, and I was drinking on average 2-3 glasses of wine plus a shot or two of whisky most nights, my alcohol is at least half of what it was.
Last night was AF, here is how it is looking so far since I joined you all here:
1/11 - 1 shot whisky
1/12 - AF
1/13 - AF
1/14 - AF
1/15 - 3 wine
1/16 - AF
1/17 - 1 wine
1/18 - 2 wine
1/19 - 1 wine
1/20 - 1 wine
1/21 - AF
total = 5/11 days AF8 -
@Amanda_Brit_Expat we love YOU to.
Your success in cutting back is really moving. You are inspiring others as you post too, I hope you know that. You have consumed only half of your calculated days. I hope there are family members that you can share your hard work with.
As for not having the friend base you had hoped for where you now live. I have always experienced it here where I moved to almost 40 years ago. While having a wonderful conversation when out at a pub or party always seemed to have someone saying "Hey lets get together for coffee or a movie or something" Then trying to get that same person to commit seems impossible. Keep plugging at it, dont give up. Not everyone enjoys cyber relationships only.5 -
@dawnbgethealthy I am waiting for my order from Lyre's non alcohilic spirits to arrive.
They make a coffee and also an amaretto spirit that I want to make some of those cozy Winter drinks with like your Bailey's. I love holding onto a hot mug while all those flavors permeate my sinuses.
Yum
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I did it again. Told myself "just three tallboys, just a six pack", but it didn't give me that much of a buzz, so I went back for two more tallboys. Then picked up another at the grocery store while getting things for dinner. I have a very mild buzz and I can guarantee I'm gonna go out and pick up one or even two more.
I don't know how I'm ever going to lose weight with this. It isn't just the calories, and it isn't just that when/after drinking, the last thing I want to do is physical activity that doesn't involve getting more booze. Plus the booze brings out all the negative feelings...even in the last day, I've been posting feelings that I thought I had got rid of, about how I look, and was already getting angry at a few of the more patronizing responses ("It doesn't matter what you look like, and if anyone would reject you based on your looks, they're not worth your time!") and telling myself maybe I shouldn't have come here.
I don't understand why I do this. I suppose some of is laziness...after all, if you're drunk and/or high, you've got a free pass to just sit back and listen to music and lose yourself online. But the feelings that come are sometimes so ugly and so counterproductive, about how I'll never be attractive to anyone who isn't desperate, that I'm never going to be able to fix or counteract the negative things about my appearance that I can't change, like my height or being bald.
I'm confused. Why do I drink when it makes me fatter, poorer, sicker, stupider, angrier, more bitter, and lets me indulge in lazy thoughts about how it's all pointless and I'm worth nothing? I'm really, really good at finding reasons to hate myself and alcohol helps a lot in that regard. Is it really just that alcohol gives me an excuse to do nothing? Do I actually enjoy and even prefer hating myself?9 -
@HerNameIsMischief you are a victim of the cycle that causes loneliness, depression, over eating, drinking, self medicating just to name a few.
Not only was I an over drinker, I was also an over eater from a young age. I ate because food in our family was love. Then when I gained weight I ate because I was depressed because I was over weight. Being young I was lucky not to get into alcohol at that time in my life.
I did eventually start to shed off the weight, it took about 18 months (I needed to lose 90 pounds for my age and height) to get to a normal weight. It was long and slow and at times I wondered if I would ever get to where I wanted to be. I did. Enough of my story.
You can cut back on all the things that are making you unhappy. You don't have to attempt them all at once, all in the same day or even the same week.
Just pick ONE GOAL, one thing you can do to make you happy either tonight or tomorrow. You can keep it to yourself or let us know what it is. It does not have to be extravagant. Make it simple. But try to follow through with it. See how it makes you feel to accomplish what YOU set out to to. One day at a time.10 -
Proud of myself. DH went out to get more non alcoholic beer. Although I thought about it, I didn't ask him to get me wine.
Another AF night for us!
@HerNameIsMischief try having 1 less, just 1. Another good way to cut down is have 1 bottle of water between every alcoholic drink...1 beer, 1 water. You'll feel full with less booze.
Then try adding 1 movement activity. I do squats when I'm cooking or washing dishes. 1 squat every few minutes may not be much but it's more than nothing
Good luck. When you're ready you will make the effort8 -
I am Dawn, I live in SE BC
I will post with my usual diary style to keep track of my AF days.
Keeping to my usual goal of 16-20 AF days per month, which is manageable for me and doesn't put too much pressure on me.
Wednesday Jan 20 - AF - Managed to get out for a little hike and a little skate after work today. After getting in from the out of doors I really really wanted a Peppermint Schnapps in Cocoa, but I had drinks only yesterday, so talked myself out of it. Hit my 16 today : - )
Thursday Jan 21 - Drinks. Micro sips sort of. Had a fantastic hike, somewhere I hadn't been in years (can't go there spring, summer, or fall because there is a momma bear with cubs each year, and it is her home plus she might kill you). I had half ounces of a few mixtures including espresso baileys with other things mixed in. I measure always since joining this thread. I fell twice on the trail yesterday on ice, I'm okay, but pretty sore.
Friday Jan 22 - AF - I didn't hike much today, pretty sore from the 3 falls that I have had since last Sunday. Epsom's bath with essential oil added, a glass of champagne would have been nice. Some other time for bubbly in the tub, not today.
Rolling total 17AF days out of 22 days4 -
HerNameIsMischief wrote: »
I'm confused. Why do I drink when it makes me fatter, poorer, sicker, stupider, angrier, more bitter, and lets me indulge in lazy thoughts about how it's all pointless and I'm worth nothing? I'm really, really good at finding reasons to hate myself and alcohol helps a lot in that regard. Is it really just that alcohol gives me an excuse to do nothing? Do I actually enjoy and even prefer hating myself?
Alcohol is a depressant. And addictive.
We are all on this thread to "drink less", each for our own personal reasons. Drinking less means something different to each individual. Less is less.
If you feel that alcohol is at the root of many of the problems that you list, then that might be your own personal reason to begin to cut back and create some solutions.6 -
I did it. I made a giant success last night, to me.
With all of your help and reading the inspiring stories I set aside 2 beers out of my six pack. Only 4 went into the refrigerator. The other two into the cabinet. It could be from talking with my friend that was over the other night with his coffee cup.
I think I have inspired him as well. He had been complaining of nothing to do and it was making him eat to much. I invited him to join me working out with me at my home gym. He has come over with his coffee twice now to work out and is hooked because he had been so bored before.
Exercise is a excellent substitute for boredom. We are helping each other with our weaknesses.
Thanks Ladies all of you get my bear hugs. Especially @missmay
Well our honorary nephew, so glad that one of your buds is AF 5 days per week.
You have suggested in the past that you would like to try an AF day... now you have someone to do fun things with that won't be drinking either. This will make it so much easier for you when you decide to rack up your first AF day. Do it on a day that he will be over with his coffee cup : - )
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@HerNameIsMischief indeed everything @MissMay said is true, and you deserve a happy life. It belongs to you and it's in your power to make it so.
Another idea, rather simplistic is taking a look at your schedule, the hours in the day when you know you routinely feel down and want to drink.
Take one of those hours and carve out time to do something else that will make you happy instead. This was important for me because when my hours became empty (loss of work, empty nester, dog passed away, etc,) it was very easy to fill those hours with wine to create some quick "happy". Which never works long term.
Your hours are precious. More valuable than money. Take one of those hours and do something new that brings you joy. Check the internet for new hobbies, ideas, projects, call friends, learn something new, put on a hat and jacket and go out for a brisk walk (movement outside in cold weather burns fat), volunteer, turn on youtube and do a goofy dance exercise video that will make you laugh, etc. Or just challenge yourself to see how many pushups you can do.
The important thing is to make a change now and push that alcohol bully aside because you can.
The number of things to do besides drinking that will bring you joy are endless....and this is the truth.9 -
I didn't end up getting any more booze...not because of my will power, but because I fell asleep. Then I read these remarks about "you don't have to quit at once...just have one less" and laughed as my addict brain said to myself, "Hey, bet now you're glad you didn't stick with just three like you originally planned...you were on tallboy number six when you 'quit' last night, so that means you can still have five of these things today. But no more of that 5% *kitten* [Twisted Tea], even though it tastes better than the 8% rotgut *kitten* [Steel Reserve]. You have to make the most of your calories now." Sage advice.
I've been getting stomachaches in the morning, and diarrhea. Nothing intolerable, but it's not normal and I wonder if the booze has anything to do with it because I'm not really stuffing myself with food. Actually, I find I can eat less while drinking because my mind is occupied (and sometimes I remind myself that eating will weaken the buzz).5 -
Super Saturday L.A. thread~
@dawnbgethealthy I forgot to ask about your falls when you hiked the other day. Was it icy or poor uneven terrain? That is one reason I will not hike or snowshoe alone, unless it is in a heavily populated area. I don't want to fall and not be able to get back to my car. Feel better. Tiger Balm works wonders.
@globalhiker I almost drove to your house after reading your lastest post to kiss you on the cheek. So well written and true. It inspired me as I read it.
Today I could just sit here sipping coffee in my rocker as the dog licks my toes. I could call it good because it is a day off and no work. Not the case though. My goal is to get dressed to workout. Yesterday morning I tried a new routine from this workout program I bought. Holy %#&$. The tops of my legs were unfire(pain is good, right?😨) every time I went to get out of the chair I would yelp and then laugh at myself. A nice hot bath, stretching in the tub and then an application of tiger balm cured me right up. So, here I go to do another workout in 5 minutes. Not that one from yesterday, I might have to hide that DVD so it never gets played again.
EVERYONE have a successful .
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At @ fishing camp 🎣 for a long weekend. DH thought about buying half a dozen bottles of wine & more bourbon and rum to take to the camp but then he decided not to. My only response to his query Thurs was if you want to ... wine on Sat night would be nice. He took that as I'm not planning to drink all week and skipped the liquor store.
1 bourbon & diet 7up and then switched to water.9 -
@Lilylady3k
When you said your DH thought about buying half a dozen bottle of wine plus bourbon for your long weekend I can relate. It sounds like such a "normal" amount, what we'd buy for a long weekend, 2+ bottles per night plus beer for DH but in reality it's a great deal of alcohol.
I'm really hoping that this break reduced my tolerance. It is helping me re-learn that I can go all week without drinking.
Alas I baked a cake yesterday to deal with my sweet tooth. I'm trying to remember that each 300 calorie piece is still better than the 1,000 calories in a bottle of wine & at least there is fruit in the cake. It's an apple coffee cake not too sweet, perfect for breakfast & chock full of yummy cinnamon.
@HerNameIsMischief yes the stomachaches & diarrhea are related to the drinking. There are hops & barley in beer which produce waste. Your body is telling you something is wrong. I know when I really drink too much I have similar gastrointestinal responses the next morning to a lesser degree. Your body is trying to purge all the poison out of your system. You may want to consult a doctor as you take this journey. Hang in there. There are benefits to cutting down / quitting.8 -
@HerNameIsMischief the fact that you are even posing the question of “do I really enjoy treating myself badly” is a huge step!
Alcohol (or drugs) masks and numbs the pain we feel, whether from adverse childhood experiences, mourning a recent death, or whatever painful emotion we live with. Cut back even one drink and it seems like those “pain monsters” come roaring back. Holy cow! Reach for a drink to push away the emotions, wake up the next day full or regret and self loathing. Wash rinse repeat.
It sounds to me like you have some past trauma that needs to be addressed, along with finding another coping mechanism that works better for you. I highly recommend working with a qualified therapist to help you on your journey.
As for being more comfortable being miserable, I think we are comfortable with what we know. A script repeats in our heads and we bow down to that script. Case in point, I was , for the longest time, more comfortable walking on eggshells because I grew up in a household where we all had to watch that we didn’t set my mother off on one of her tirades. The fact that I moved out, married and didn’t live with her anymore? Didn’t matter! I was still more comfortable walking on eggshells because it was so deeply programmed into me. Yes I got over it!
So, just know that you are worthy of a happy life, and there are resources out there to help you. I won’t promise it will be easy, but it will ultimately be rewarding. You’ll probably be one step forward, two steps back for a time, but the idea is to move forward. You can absolutely do this. We believe in you, even if right now you don’t believe in yourself.8 -
The thing is, I've been drinking pretty much daily for a long time and this is a pretty new occurrence. I'm used to getting sick after maybe a week's worth of drinking and getting the jitters and maybe puking, but not this new gastrointestinal problem. It's not severe, but it's been happening virtually every night for at least a week.
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Hi Gang! Work about did me in last week but I was bold. I had a convo with my boss. She's new. Had no idea I have been going non-stop 10-12 hour days since Oct. Good convo. Wanted to drink a million times, but I haven't--largely because I was vocal about Dry Jan. Who is still dry out there this year? I may not be by tomorrow. We're going to Moosehead today and actually to dinner for the first time in months and I might just have 2 glasses of wine. Or I may not. After all, I started my Dry Jan day after Thanksgiving, so I've got a few consecutive days in.
@HerNameIsMischief Love your handle! All I can say is that you've got to get to what is making you want to escape reality to truly get to a good place. You can try all the tactics here, but it's going to be super hard if you are always chasing the buzz/escape. I started therapy lately--specifically looked for a therapist who deals with addiction and then regular psycho junk. It's helping a lot. But even for some people journaling helps, as do communities like this one.11 -
Finally, it happened, got in an AF day and on a Friday....score now at 7 AF/22 days.
I got in an hour of bodypump and increased the weights. Then I did 20 minutes of "hip hop step". It was fun but HARD, felt like I ran up stairs the whole time and I was soaked and dripping with sweat. Yep sweat puddles on the floor. Followed by a bath and a nap. Rough day 8 -
Forgot to mention today I have family visiting so the plan today is to indulge but set a start and end time. Today it will be 1 to 3pm. Plan is to consume anything but stop when starting to get 80% full. Involves cake, ice cream, fried goodies, carbs, and a bottle of red wine I can share. But when time is up, that's it. That fridge closes at 3pm. Water only until next day.
Reminds me, I better get a long run in now.5 -
@mainelylisa good to see you are still kick'n it. I did not commit to a dry January, I committed to a misty January and have been doing great. Averaging 1 standard drink per week.
I would say you have clearly done your DRY HOLIDAY spell. Treat yourself to a nice glass at dinner. You deserve it!
Remember to take @womona micro sips.
Have a nice time in Rockwood.3 -
@Trish1c
hmmmmmmmm.........did you read our fine print where it says anyone who bakes a cake has to share it with the rest of this group? Micro slivers will do fine. It sounds delish.
Let us know if you do notice a lower tolerance. I for one know I could never drink like I used to now that I cut way way back. And that's a blessing.3 -
@MissMay I stress bake. It's part of what caused my Covid 15. Right now I know I'm turning to sweets to deal with the lack of alcohol but I'm happy with the reduced cravings. I'm happy to send everybody a slice or here's the recipe: It's the Good Housekeeping Merryfield Apple Cake. https://www.cooks.com/recipe/3j16h777/merryfield-apple-cake.html I add flaxseed to increase the protein; I also reduce the white sugar & add 1/2 c brown sugar, I also add 1 tsp cinnamon, 1/2 tsp nutmeg & 1/2 tsp allspice. Yes, there is still too much sugar & oil for a "diet" but between the apples & flaxseed, overall it's not a terribly unhealthy cake . . .or at least I console myself with that idea.
I used to be addicted to sugared soda. Diet just doesn't do it for me. Every Lent I'd give up soda. Many years I would cheat on Sundays but still going from 6 per day to 1 on Sundays was a huge win. It took many years but now I can have soda in the house & most days still opt for water or tea. It's a good feeling. Since this is my 1st dry January, I'm better with keeping it out of the house. Between Covid & the cold weather there is no going out so if it's not in the house it's not an option & that has helped.
@mainelylisa dry since Thanksgiving? Wow! There's no way I could have dealt with the family without alcohol. Then again drinking with them makes me think, I don't really drink that much.
@HerNameIsMischief -- baby steps but do take them. Your body is revolting. I'm worried for you.6 -
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I did not see that on the fine print. Please advise@Trish1c
hmmmmmmmm.........did you read our fine print where it says anyone who bakes a cake has to share it with the rest of this group? Micro slivers will do fine. It sounds delish.
Let us know if you do notice a lower tolerance. I for one know I could never drink like I used to now that I cut way way back. And that's a blessing.))
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