I Don't Care About You -well I do but not like this
Replies
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MargaretYakoda wrote: »callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »MargaretYakoda wrote: »
now im wondering if theres a stage version of blues brothers that bestie and i could get the theater to do LOL
the board hates us LMAO
Just tell ‘em
I ran out of gas! I got a flat tire! I didn’t have change for cab fare! I lost my tux at the cleaners! I locked my keys in the car! An old friend came in from out of town! Someone stole my car! There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts! IT WASN’T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!
getting to do the plays and musicals we wanted was far easier when she was ON the board. Now we are like dejected children going to the Principal's office. 'Please kind Sir(s)... this is what we want to do... please say yes....'
then we bribe them with alcohol.
good stuff.
LMAO4 -
RA_Warrior wrote: »I am so glad I posted this. Besides some really bad and wrong assumptions about me as a person, I learned a lot. Thank you for all the inspirational and motivational answers.
My little space on MyFitnessPal will be as superficial or as helpful as I will allow it to be. Who knew, I can adjust settings?
I have opened my diary (didn't know it was not automatically open to friends.)
I adjusted my newsfeed. No more notifications about who befriends who.
Some friends have deleted me. Thank you so much I prefer being axed over axing. :-)
I found out I can ignore people's postings if I want -and so can they.
Also, side effect, it seems I can adjust my diary to my needs. I am stunned and thrilled.
It's ok not to be everybody's sweetheart. Just like in real life.
I will make some changes here. I will let people know what they can expect and what I expect.
I always introduce myself with every friend request I send, and I think I will from now on I will ask for the same.
I will change my profile and will let future friends (and foes) know about my high expectations, wishes, and dreams.
I am a straight shooter and honest. I don't want to change that ever. I like me
I have (and will) get healthier and lose ALL the weight because there just isn't a plan B. I am either doomed or I will save myself.
Just a little heads up with regards to the bolded: I don't think the message you send along with friends requests actually works on MFP, I've never actually seen a message with the friend requests I've received.
I have seen messages with friend requests. Not often. I just assumed that, despite my stating in my profile that I would like to see a message or would only accept a request stating why they're asking (I forget how I have phrased it), most people don't read that and just send message-less requests. I guess it could have changed at some point and now the messages don't carry through.3 -
callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »can we just .... i dunno .... build a bonfire, open some beers and sing kumbaya with our dogs or something? Sing a rousing rendition of 'We are Family'? 'We are the World'? Belt out Aretha's 'R-E-S-P-E-C-T'? just cause its fun?
we know regular messages won't go through if you are not friends. someone send a friend request with a message attached. i can let group therapy here know if i get the message with the request. if you dont like me you can delete me LOL
Are the dogs allowed? Do you have word sheets so we can all sing along? What if we don't like beer? (I know I'm an odd duck ) Most important question is....how many calories do S'Mores have?6 -
MargaretYakoda wrote: »
One of the best movies ever.
We even had a cat our dd named Elwood. The vet liked it. 6 -
RA_Warrior wrote: »Just a little heads up with regards to the bolded: I don't think the message you send along with friends requests actually works on MFP, I've never actually seen a message with the friend requests I've received.
Thanks, me neither but a few sent a private message with the request and I was wondering why. You just explained it.
Just a hint in the interests of clearer communication: If you want to quote the person you're replying to, the easiest thing to do is hit quote before you start typing, and then you will automatically be placed after the quote to start typing your reply.
If this is what you're already doing, maybe you have a glitch (or more precisely, MFP has a glitch affecting some small subset of users and you are unfortunately one of them), because this is at least the second post in this thread from you where what I assume is your message appears inside the quote block attributed to someone else.
*ETA: Oh, the irony. My original response here had the same problem, putting my message in the quote block. I had to edit it and take out an extra opening quote code for you.4 -
lynn_glenmont wrote: »RA_Warrior wrote: »I am so glad I posted this. Besides some really bad and wrong assumptions about me as a person, I learned a lot. Thank you for all the inspirational and motivational answers.
My little space on MyFitnessPal will be as superficial or as helpful as I will allow it to be. Who knew, I can adjust settings?
I have opened my diary (didn't know it was not automatically open to friends.)
I adjusted my newsfeed. No more notifications about who befriends who.
Some friends have deleted me. Thank you so much I prefer being axed over axing. :-)
I found out I can ignore people's postings if I want -and so can they.
Also, side effect, it seems I can adjust my diary to my needs. I am stunned and thrilled.
It's ok not to be everybody's sweetheart. Just like in real life.
I will make some changes here. I will let people know what they can expect and what I expect.
I always introduce myself with every friend request I send, and I think I will from now on I will ask for the same.
I will change my profile and will let future friends (and foes) know about my high expectations, wishes, and dreams.
I am a straight shooter and honest. I don't want to change that ever. I like me
I have (and will) get healthier and lose ALL the weight because there just isn't a plan B. I am either doomed or I will save myself.
Just a little heads up with regards to the bolded: I don't think the message you send along with friends requests actually works on MFP, I've never actually seen a message with the friend requests I've received.
I have seen messages with friend requests. Not often. I just assumed that, despite my stating in my profile that I would like to see a message or would only accept a request stating why they're asking (I forget how I have phrased it), most people don't read that and just send message-less requests. I guess it could have changed at some point and now the messages don't carry through.
Yes, messages with friend requests used to work.
In the web version, there used to be a box for a message if one clicked "add friend". On the web, that message would show up like a comment on the friend request page I received, not as a separate PM. I'm not sure whether that box is still there, to add a comment to the FR. (I'm not interested in adding a friend just to find out, since I'm ineffectual at the friend thing on MFP.) I don't remember that ever being an option on the phone/tablet app, nor remember seeing those comments on the FRs I received on the app (even when I saw the comment on the web for the same FR).
I got one FR (long time ago) without such a comment from someone whose profile said they required comments on FRs in order to accept them. After I accepted their FR, I got a PM from them right away. It turned out - as they said, anyway - that the PM I got was what they put in the FR comment box when they created the FR. I also don't know whether that still happens.
This stuff is remarkably opaque, sometimes. Usually I test things when I have questions, find out: Not interested in generating FRs at someone just to test, in this case. 🤷♀️ If anyone else wants to test, isn't my friend, feel free to FR me.3 -
robertw486 wrote: »RA_Warrior wrote: »I am so glad I posted this. Besides some really bad and wrong assumptions about me as a person, I learned a lot. Thank you for all the inspirational and motivational answers.
My little space on MyFitnessPal will be as superficial or as helpful as I will allow it to be. Who knew, I can adjust settings?
I have opened my diary (didn't know it was not automatically open to friends.)
I adjusted my newsfeed. No more notifications about who befriends who.
Some friends have deleted me. Thank you so much I prefer being axed over axing. :-)
I found out I can ignore people's postings if I want -and so can they.
Also, side effect, it seems I can adjust my diary to my needs. I am stunned and thrilled.
It's ok not to be everybody's sweetheart. Just like in real life.
I will make some changes here. I will let people know what they can expect and what I expect.
I always introduce myself with every friend request I send, and I think I will from now on I will ask for the same.
I will change my profile and will let future friends (and foes) know about my high expectations, wishes, and dreams.
I am a straight shooter and honest. I don't want to change that ever. I like me
I have (and will) get healthier and lose ALL the weight because there just isn't a plan B. I am either doomed or I will save myself.
Just a little heads up with regards to the bolded: I don't think the message you send along with friends requests actually works on MFP, I've never actually seen a message with the friend requests I've received.
I've seen them in the past... I think. But I've also seen recently that you can message someone that isn't a friend, which wasn't the case for a period of time. But I've been known to be wrong as well.....
@robertw486, FWIW, Margaret Yakoda (I'd tag her if I remembered her exact ID) tried sending a PM to me recently to test this - we aren't MFP friends. On her end, it looked like the message was sent, but that I hadn't read it. On my end, it never appeared in my inbox. We can PM the MFP staff IMU even if we aren't friends with them, but regular users can't PM other regular users who are not friends, I believe.
I guess the only solution to this (outside of MFP fixing it, which I just have too many years on here to be optimistic about) is to tell someone in the open forums (with the @ tag) that you're going to send them a friend request, or ask them if you can, or invite them to send you one, unless everybody wants to start accepting random requests just so they can ask somebody why they sent the friend request.
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lynn_glenmont wrote: »RA_Warrior wrote: »I am so glad I posted this. Besides some really bad and wrong assumptions about me as a person, I learned a lot. Thank you for all the inspirational and motivational answers.
My little space on MyFitnessPal will be as superficial or as helpful as I will allow it to be. Who knew, I can adjust settings?
I have opened my diary (didn't know it was not automatically open to friends.)
I adjusted my newsfeed. No more notifications about who befriends who.
Some friends have deleted me. Thank you so much I prefer being axed over axing. :-)
I found out I can ignore people's postings if I want -and so can they.
Also, side effect, it seems I can adjust my diary to my needs. I am stunned and thrilled.
It's ok not to be everybody's sweetheart. Just like in real life.
I will make some changes here. I will let people know what they can expect and what I expect.
I always introduce myself with every friend request I send, and I think I will from now on I will ask for the same.
I will change my profile and will let future friends (and foes) know about my high expectations, wishes, and dreams.
I am a straight shooter and honest. I don't want to change that ever. I like me
I have (and will) get healthier and lose ALL the weight because there just isn't a plan B. I am either doomed or I will save myself.
Just a little heads up with regards to the bolded: I don't think the message you send along with friends requests actually works on MFP, I've never actually seen a message with the friend requests I've received.
I have seen messages with friend requests. Not often. I just assumed that, despite my stating in my profile that I would like to see a message or would only accept a request stating why they're asking (I forget how I have phrased it), most people don't read that and just send message-less requests. I guess it could have changed at some point and now the messages don't carry through.
Yes, messages with friend requests used to work.
In the web version, there used to be a box for a message if one clicked "add friend". On the web, that message would show up like a comment on the friend request page I received, not as a separate PM. I'm not sure whether that box is still there, to add a comment to the FR. (I'm not interested in adding a friend just to find out, since I'm ineffectual at the friend thing on MFP.) I don't remember that ever being an option on the phone/tablet app, nor remember seeing those comments on the FRs I received on the app (even when I saw the comment on the web for the same FR).
I got one FR (long time ago) without such a comment from someone whose profile said they required comments on FRs in order to accept them. After I accepted their FR, I got a PM from them right away. It turned out - as they said, anyway - that the PM I got was what they put in the FR comment box when they created the FR. I also don't know whether that still happens.
This stuff is remarkably opaque, sometimes. Usually I test things when I have questions, find out: Not interested in generating FRs at someone just to test, in this case. 🤷♀️ If anyone else wants to test, isn't my friend, feel free to FR me.lynn_glenmont wrote: »RA_Warrior wrote: »I am so glad I posted this. Besides some really bad and wrong assumptions about me as a person, I learned a lot. Thank you for all the inspirational and motivational answers.
My little space on MyFitnessPal will be as superficial or as helpful as I will allow it to be. Who knew, I can adjust settings?
I have opened my diary (didn't know it was not automatically open to friends.)
I adjusted my newsfeed. No more notifications about who befriends who.
Some friends have deleted me. Thank you so much I prefer being axed over axing. :-)
I found out I can ignore people's postings if I want -and so can they.
Also, side effect, it seems I can adjust my diary to my needs. I am stunned and thrilled.
It's ok not to be everybody's sweetheart. Just like in real life.
I will make some changes here. I will let people know what they can expect and what I expect.
I always introduce myself with every friend request I send, and I think I will from now on I will ask for the same.
I will change my profile and will let future friends (and foes) know about my high expectations, wishes, and dreams.
I am a straight shooter and honest. I don't want to change that ever. I like me
I have (and will) get healthier and lose ALL the weight because there just isn't a plan B. I am either doomed or I will save myself.
Just a little heads up with regards to the bolded: I don't think the message you send along with friends requests actually works on MFP, I've never actually seen a message with the friend requests I've received.
I have seen messages with friend requests. Not often. I just assumed that, despite my stating in my profile that I would like to see a message or would only accept a request stating why they're asking (I forget how I have phrased it), most people don't read that and just send message-less requests. I guess it could have changed at some point and now the messages don't carry through.
Yes, messages with friend requests used to work.
In the web version, there used to be a box for a message if one clicked "add friend". On the web, that message would show up like a comment on the friend request page I received, not as a separate PM. I'm not sure whether that box is still there, to add a comment to the FR. (I'm not interested in adding a friend just to find out, since I'm ineffectual at the friend thing on MFP.) I don't remember that ever being an option on the phone/tablet app, nor remember seeing those comments on the FRs I received on the app (even when I saw the comment on the web for the same FR).
I got one FR (long time ago) without such a comment from someone whose profile said they required comments on FRs in order to accept them. After I accepted their FR, I got a PM from them right away. It turned out - as they said, anyway - that the PM I got was what they put in the FR comment box when they created the FR. I also don't know whether that still happens.
This stuff is remarkably opaque, sometimes. Usually I test things when I have questions, find out: Not interested in generating FRs at someone just to test, in this case. 🤷♀️ If anyone else wants to test, isn't my friend, feel free to FR me.
Yes, this is what I'm remembering. The last friend request I got (I'm thinking two or three months back) showed that box when I clicked on the received friend request, but the box was empty. But apparently that's no indication of whether the requester included a message. Now I feel guilty about all the friend requests I've refused because they couldn't be bothered to include a message. I guess going forward I have to accept them all and send a message asking if they sent a message, because it didn't come through.
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lynn_glenmont wrote: »lynn_glenmont wrote: »RA_Warrior wrote: »I am so glad I posted this. Besides some really bad and wrong assumptions about me as a person, I learned a lot. Thank you for all the inspirational and motivational answers.
My little space on MyFitnessPal will be as superficial or as helpful as I will allow it to be. Who knew, I can adjust settings?
I have opened my diary (didn't know it was not automatically open to friends.)
I adjusted my newsfeed. No more notifications about who befriends who.
Some friends have deleted me. Thank you so much I prefer being axed over axing. :-)
I found out I can ignore people's postings if I want -and so can they.
Also, side effect, it seems I can adjust my diary to my needs. I am stunned and thrilled.
It's ok not to be everybody's sweetheart. Just like in real life.
I will make some changes here. I will let people know what they can expect and what I expect.
I always introduce myself with every friend request I send, and I think I will from now on I will ask for the same.
I will change my profile and will let future friends (and foes) know about my high expectations, wishes, and dreams.
I am a straight shooter and honest. I don't want to change that ever. I like me
I have (and will) get healthier and lose ALL the weight because there just isn't a plan B. I am either doomed or I will save myself.
Just a little heads up with regards to the bolded: I don't think the message you send along with friends requests actually works on MFP, I've never actually seen a message with the friend requests I've received.
I have seen messages with friend requests. Not often. I just assumed that, despite my stating in my profile that I would like to see a message or would only accept a request stating why they're asking (I forget how I have phrased it), most people don't read that and just send message-less requests. I guess it could have changed at some point and now the messages don't carry through.
Yes, messages with friend requests used to work.
In the web version, there used to be a box for a message if one clicked "add friend". On the web, that message would show up like a comment on the friend request page I received, not as a separate PM. I'm not sure whether that box is still there, to add a comment to the FR. (I'm not interested in adding a friend just to find out, since I'm ineffectual at the friend thing on MFP.) I don't remember that ever being an option on the phone/tablet app, nor remember seeing those comments on the FRs I received on the app (even when I saw the comment on the web for the same FR).
I got one FR (long time ago) without such a comment from someone whose profile said they required comments on FRs in order to accept them. After I accepted their FR, I got a PM from them right away. It turned out - as they said, anyway - that the PM I got was what they put in the FR comment box when they created the FR. I also don't know whether that still happens.
This stuff is remarkably opaque, sometimes. Usually I test things when I have questions, find out: Not interested in generating FRs at someone just to test, in this case. 🤷♀️ If anyone else wants to test, isn't my friend, feel free to FR me.lynn_glenmont wrote: »RA_Warrior wrote: »I am so glad I posted this. Besides some really bad and wrong assumptions about me as a person, I learned a lot. Thank you for all the inspirational and motivational answers.
My little space on MyFitnessPal will be as superficial or as helpful as I will allow it to be. Who knew, I can adjust settings?
I have opened my diary (didn't know it was not automatically open to friends.)
I adjusted my newsfeed. No more notifications about who befriends who.
Some friends have deleted me. Thank you so much I prefer being axed over axing. :-)
I found out I can ignore people's postings if I want -and so can they.
Also, side effect, it seems I can adjust my diary to my needs. I am stunned and thrilled.
It's ok not to be everybody's sweetheart. Just like in real life.
I will make some changes here. I will let people know what they can expect and what I expect.
I always introduce myself with every friend request I send, and I think I will from now on I will ask for the same.
I will change my profile and will let future friends (and foes) know about my high expectations, wishes, and dreams.
I am a straight shooter and honest. I don't want to change that ever. I like me
I have (and will) get healthier and lose ALL the weight because there just isn't a plan B. I am either doomed or I will save myself.
Just a little heads up with regards to the bolded: I don't think the message you send along with friends requests actually works on MFP, I've never actually seen a message with the friend requests I've received.
I have seen messages with friend requests. Not often. I just assumed that, despite my stating in my profile that I would like to see a message or would only accept a request stating why they're asking (I forget how I have phrased it), most people don't read that and just send message-less requests. I guess it could have changed at some point and now the messages don't carry through.
Yes, messages with friend requests used to work.
In the web version, there used to be a box for a message if one clicked "add friend". On the web, that message would show up like a comment on the friend request page I received, not as a separate PM. I'm not sure whether that box is still there, to add a comment to the FR. (I'm not interested in adding a friend just to find out, since I'm ineffectual at the friend thing on MFP.) I don't remember that ever being an option on the phone/tablet app, nor remember seeing those comments on the FRs I received on the app (even when I saw the comment on the web for the same FR).
I got one FR (long time ago) without such a comment from someone whose profile said they required comments on FRs in order to accept them. After I accepted their FR, I got a PM from them right away. It turned out - as they said, anyway - that the PM I got was what they put in the FR comment box when they created the FR. I also don't know whether that still happens.
This stuff is remarkably opaque, sometimes. Usually I test things when I have questions, find out: Not interested in generating FRs at someone just to test, in this case. 🤷♀️ If anyone else wants to test, isn't my friend, feel free to FR me.
Yes, this is what I'm remembering. The last friend request I got (I'm thinking two or three months back) showed that box when I clicked on the received friend request, but the box was empty. But apparently that's no indication of whether the requester included a message. Now I feel guilty about all the friend requests I've refused because they couldn't be bothered to include a message. I guess going forward I have to accept them all and send a message asking if they sent a message, because it didn't come through.
@lynn_glenmont: I just sent you a friend request with a message.0 -
PM's between members who are not friends sometimes show; but more often than not do not show.
A few between myself and Ann have gone through. I suspect that older accounts from a time these things worked may retain some magic setting.
Friend requests I don't think send anything that is written... but I've seen at least one where it did? I haven't been accepting any anyway (my limitation; zero reflection on the people asking) and I believe I state so in my profile which I don't believe is easily accessible to people who don't know the "secret" of typing in the URL.
As to the rest of it... a bit of kindness goes a long way.
TBH why you choose to drop or keep friends is your call and you don't owe anyone an explanation as to why you accepted them, dropped them, or ignored them.
It does feel a bit weird to see people getting called out for being dropped and being berated for stating that they believed that it was a shame that there was a failure to make a connection. While publicly posting their private feed business.. which is private and for sharing in their friend feed--not to be indexed by Google and Bing and saved in "internet perpetuity"
The shamefulness here is not the lack of connection or dropping but the whole calling out revenge thing. And no, this was not honesty that was being helpful. It was meant to be hurtful and is out of place.
While being triggered is a legitimate reason to drop someone, YOU are the one being triggered. You don't get to put the other person down publicly to make yourself feel better.
I guess I was triggered and I feel so much better now. Just being straightforward here.14 -
kshama2001 wrote: »lynn_glenmont wrote: »lynn_glenmont wrote: »RA_Warrior wrote: »I am so glad I posted this. Besides some really bad and wrong assumptions about me as a person, I learned a lot. Thank you for all the inspirational and motivational answers.
My little space on MyFitnessPal will be as superficial or as helpful as I will allow it to be. Who knew, I can adjust settings?
I have opened my diary (didn't know it was not automatically open to friends.)
I adjusted my newsfeed. No more notifications about who befriends who.
Some friends have deleted me. Thank you so much I prefer being axed over axing. :-)
I found out I can ignore people's postings if I want -and so can they.
Also, side effect, it seems I can adjust my diary to my needs. I am stunned and thrilled.
It's ok not to be everybody's sweetheart. Just like in real life.
I will make some changes here. I will let people know what they can expect and what I expect.
I always introduce myself with every friend request I send, and I think I will from now on I will ask for the same.
I will change my profile and will let future friends (and foes) know about my high expectations, wishes, and dreams.
I am a straight shooter and honest. I don't want to change that ever. I like me
I have (and will) get healthier and lose ALL the weight because there just isn't a plan B. I am either doomed or I will save myself.
Just a little heads up with regards to the bolded: I don't think the message you send along with friends requests actually works on MFP, I've never actually seen a message with the friend requests I've received.
I have seen messages with friend requests. Not often. I just assumed that, despite my stating in my profile that I would like to see a message or would only accept a request stating why they're asking (I forget how I have phrased it), most people don't read that and just send message-less requests. I guess it could have changed at some point and now the messages don't carry through.
Yes, messages with friend requests used to work.
In the web version, there used to be a box for a message if one clicked "add friend". On the web, that message would show up like a comment on the friend request page I received, not as a separate PM. I'm not sure whether that box is still there, to add a comment to the FR. (I'm not interested in adding a friend just to find out, since I'm ineffectual at the friend thing on MFP.) I don't remember that ever being an option on the phone/tablet app, nor remember seeing those comments on the FRs I received on the app (even when I saw the comment on the web for the same FR).
I got one FR (long time ago) without such a comment from someone whose profile said they required comments on FRs in order to accept them. After I accepted their FR, I got a PM from them right away. It turned out - as they said, anyway - that the PM I got was what they put in the FR comment box when they created the FR. I also don't know whether that still happens.
This stuff is remarkably opaque, sometimes. Usually I test things when I have questions, find out: Not interested in generating FRs at someone just to test, in this case. 🤷♀️ If anyone else wants to test, isn't my friend, feel free to FR me.lynn_glenmont wrote: »RA_Warrior wrote: »I am so glad I posted this. Besides some really bad and wrong assumptions about me as a person, I learned a lot. Thank you for all the inspirational and motivational answers.
My little space on MyFitnessPal will be as superficial or as helpful as I will allow it to be. Who knew, I can adjust settings?
I have opened my diary (didn't know it was not automatically open to friends.)
I adjusted my newsfeed. No more notifications about who befriends who.
Some friends have deleted me. Thank you so much I prefer being axed over axing. :-)
I found out I can ignore people's postings if I want -and so can they.
Also, side effect, it seems I can adjust my diary to my needs. I am stunned and thrilled.
It's ok not to be everybody's sweetheart. Just like in real life.
I will make some changes here. I will let people know what they can expect and what I expect.
I always introduce myself with every friend request I send, and I think I will from now on I will ask for the same.
I will change my profile and will let future friends (and foes) know about my high expectations, wishes, and dreams.
I am a straight shooter and honest. I don't want to change that ever. I like me
I have (and will) get healthier and lose ALL the weight because there just isn't a plan B. I am either doomed or I will save myself.
Just a little heads up with regards to the bolded: I don't think the message you send along with friends requests actually works on MFP, I've never actually seen a message with the friend requests I've received.
I have seen messages with friend requests. Not often. I just assumed that, despite my stating in my profile that I would like to see a message or would only accept a request stating why they're asking (I forget how I have phrased it), most people don't read that and just send message-less requests. I guess it could have changed at some point and now the messages don't carry through.
Yes, messages with friend requests used to work.
In the web version, there used to be a box for a message if one clicked "add friend". On the web, that message would show up like a comment on the friend request page I received, not as a separate PM. I'm not sure whether that box is still there, to add a comment to the FR. (I'm not interested in adding a friend just to find out, since I'm ineffectual at the friend thing on MFP.) I don't remember that ever being an option on the phone/tablet app, nor remember seeing those comments on the FRs I received on the app (even when I saw the comment on the web for the same FR).
I got one FR (long time ago) without such a comment from someone whose profile said they required comments on FRs in order to accept them. After I accepted their FR, I got a PM from them right away. It turned out - as they said, anyway - that the PM I got was what they put in the FR comment box when they created the FR. I also don't know whether that still happens.
This stuff is remarkably opaque, sometimes. Usually I test things when I have questions, find out: Not interested in generating FRs at someone just to test, in this case. 🤷♀️ If anyone else wants to test, isn't my friend, feel free to FR me.
Yes, this is what I'm remembering. The last friend request I got (I'm thinking two or three months back) showed that box when I clicked on the received friend request, but the box was empty. But apparently that's no indication of whether the requester included a message. Now I feel guilty about all the friend requests I've refused because they couldn't be bothered to include a message. I guess going forward I have to accept them all and send a message asking if they sent a message, because it didn't come through.
@lynn_glenmont: I just sent you a friend request with a message.
I received (and accepted) the request, but the message did not come through.
The sad thing is, I'm so used to things on MFP not working like they should that I can't even work up a good whine over this tech fail.
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PM's between members who are not friends sometimes show; but more often than not do not show.
A few between myself and Ann have gone through. I suspect that older accounts from a time these things worked may retain some magic setting.
Friend requests I don't think send anything that is written... but I've seen at least one where it did? I haven't been accepting any anyway (my limitation; zero reflection on the people asking) and I believe I state so in my profile which I don't believe is easily accessible to people who don't know the "secret" of typing in the URL.
As to the rest of it... a bit of kindness goes a long way.
TBH why you choose to drop or keep friends is your call and you don't owe anyone an explanation as to why you accepted them, dropped them, or ignored them.
It does feel a bit weird to see people getting called out for being dropped and being berated for stating that they believed that it was a shame that there was a failure to make a connection. While publicly posting their private feed business.. which is private and for sharing in their friend feed--not to be indexed by Google and Bing and saved in "internet perpetuity"
The shamefulness here is not the lack of connection or dropping but the whole calling out revenge thing. And no, this was not honesty that was being helpful. It was meant to be hurtful and is out of place.
While being triggered is a legitimate reason to drop someone, YOU are the one being triggered. You don't get to put the other person down publicly to make yourself feel better.
I guess I was triggered and I feel so much better now. Just being straightforward here.
Now that you mention it, yes, the bolded is true. And we aren't friends. (Much though I do love ya, MFP math-man @PAV8888 !)
Someone on some thread somewhere said that if A and B aren't friends but each tries to send a message to the other, subsequent messages will go through. That seems improbable to me (in terms of likely software functions), and BTW that wasn't the scenario between PAV and me. He PM-ed me, I got the PM.1 -
PM's between members who are not friends sometimes show; but more often than not do not show.
A few between myself and Ann have gone through. I suspect that older accounts from a time these things worked may retain some magic setting.
Friend requests I don't think send anything that is written... but I've seen at least one where it did? I haven't been accepting any anyway (my limitation; zero reflection on the people asking) and I believe I state so in my profile which I don't believe is easily accessible to people who don't know the "secret" of typing in the URL.
As to the rest of it... a bit of kindness goes a long way.
TBH why you choose to drop or keep friends is your call and you don't owe anyone an explanation as to why you accepted them, dropped them, or ignored them.
It does feel a bit weird to see people getting called out for being dropped and being berated for stating that they believed that it was a shame that there was a failure to make a connection. While publicly posting their private feed business.. which is private and for sharing in their friend feed--not to be indexed by Google and Bing and saved in "internet perpetuity"
The shamefulness here is not the lack of connection or dropping but the whole calling out revenge thing. And no, this was not honesty that was being helpful. It was meant to be hurtful and is out of place.
While being triggered is a legitimate reason to drop someone, YOU are the one being triggered. You don't get to put the other person down publicly to make yourself feel better.
I guess I was triggered and I feel so much better now. Just being straightforward here.
Now that you mention it, yes, the bolded is true. And we aren't friends. (Much though I do love ya, MFP math-man @PAV8888 !)
Someone on some thread somewhere said that if A and B aren't friends but each tries to send a message to the other, subsequent messages will go through. That seems improbable to me (in terms of likely software functions), and BTW that wasn't the scenario between PAV and me. He PM-ed me, I got the PM.
Perhaps your and PAV's messages likely got through because you are old, in member years.
Presumably the change was made so that the messages from people attempting to use this site as a dating site would not get through. So now the staff has to deal with less complaints, but it is an awful, un-transparent way to handle the problem of unsolicited messages by people using the site inappropriately.4 -
Well, even though we're not "friends" in the MFP sense @AnnPT77 ; still, I do consider you a friend!
But I do confirm that some PM sends go through, for example I think I've sent to both @kshama2001 and @paperpudding in the past without being friends and they did get the PM.
But other people have not.
The only differentiating factor I can think off is that the accounts where things worked as expected were older ones.1 -
lynn_glenmont wrote: »lynn_glenmont wrote: »RA_Warrior wrote: »I am so glad I posted this. Besides some really bad and wrong assumptions about me as a person, I learned a lot. Thank you for all the inspirational and motivational answers.
My little space on MyFitnessPal will be as superficial or as helpful as I will allow it to be. Who knew, I can adjust settings?
I have opened my diary (didn't know it was not automatically open to friends.)
I adjusted my newsfeed. No more notifications about who befriends who.
Some friends have deleted me. Thank you so much I prefer being axed over axing. :-)
I found out I can ignore people's postings if I want -and so can they.
Also, side effect, it seems I can adjust my diary to my needs. I am stunned and thrilled.
It's ok not to be everybody's sweetheart. Just like in real life.
I will make some changes here. I will let people know what they can expect and what I expect.
I always introduce myself with every friend request I send, and I think I will from now on I will ask for the same.
I will change my profile and will let future friends (and foes) know about my high expectations, wishes, and dreams.
I am a straight shooter and honest. I don't want to change that ever. I like me
I have (and will) get healthier and lose ALL the weight because there just isn't a plan B. I am either doomed or I will save myself.
Just a little heads up with regards to the bolded: I don't think the message you send along with friends requests actually works on MFP, I've never actually seen a message with the friend requests I've received.
I have seen messages with friend requests. Not often. I just assumed that, despite my stating in my profile that I would like to see a message or would only accept a request stating why they're asking (I forget how I have phrased it), most people don't read that and just send message-less requests. I guess it could have changed at some point and now the messages don't carry through.
Yes, messages with friend requests used to work.
In the web version, there used to be a box for a message if one clicked "add friend". On the web, that message would show up like a comment on the friend request page I received, not as a separate PM. I'm not sure whether that box is still there, to add a comment to the FR. (I'm not interested in adding a friend just to find out, since I'm ineffectual at the friend thing on MFP.) I don't remember that ever being an option on the phone/tablet app, nor remember seeing those comments on the FRs I received on the app (even when I saw the comment on the web for the same FR).
I got one FR (long time ago) without such a comment from someone whose profile said they required comments on FRs in order to accept them. After I accepted their FR, I got a PM from them right away. It turned out - as they said, anyway - that the PM I got was what they put in the FR comment box when they created the FR. I also don't know whether that still happens.
This stuff is remarkably opaque, sometimes. Usually I test things when I have questions, find out: Not interested in generating FRs at someone just to test, in this case. 🤷♀️ If anyone else wants to test, isn't my friend, feel free to FR me.lynn_glenmont wrote: »RA_Warrior wrote: »I am so glad I posted this. Besides some really bad and wrong assumptions about me as a person, I learned a lot. Thank you for all the inspirational and motivational answers.
My little space on MyFitnessPal will be as superficial or as helpful as I will allow it to be. Who knew, I can adjust settings?
I have opened my diary (didn't know it was not automatically open to friends.)
I adjusted my newsfeed. No more notifications about who befriends who.
Some friends have deleted me. Thank you so much I prefer being axed over axing. :-)
I found out I can ignore people's postings if I want -and so can they.
Also, side effect, it seems I can adjust my diary to my needs. I am stunned and thrilled.
It's ok not to be everybody's sweetheart. Just like in real life.
I will make some changes here. I will let people know what they can expect and what I expect.
I always introduce myself with every friend request I send, and I think I will from now on I will ask for the same.
I will change my profile and will let future friends (and foes) know about my high expectations, wishes, and dreams.
I am a straight shooter and honest. I don't want to change that ever. I like me
I have (and will) get healthier and lose ALL the weight because there just isn't a plan B. I am either doomed or I will save myself.
Just a little heads up with regards to the bolded: I don't think the message you send along with friends requests actually works on MFP, I've never actually seen a message with the friend requests I've received.
I have seen messages with friend requests. Not often. I just assumed that, despite my stating in my profile that I would like to see a message or would only accept a request stating why they're asking (I forget how I have phrased it), most people don't read that and just send message-less requests. I guess it could have changed at some point and now the messages don't carry through.
Yes, messages with friend requests used to work.
In the web version, there used to be a box for a message if one clicked "add friend". On the web, that message would show up like a comment on the friend request page I received, not as a separate PM. I'm not sure whether that box is still there, to add a comment to the FR. (I'm not interested in adding a friend just to find out, since I'm ineffectual at the friend thing on MFP.) I don't remember that ever being an option on the phone/tablet app, nor remember seeing those comments on the FRs I received on the app (even when I saw the comment on the web for the same FR).
I got one FR (long time ago) without such a comment from someone whose profile said they required comments on FRs in order to accept them. After I accepted their FR, I got a PM from them right away. It turned out - as they said, anyway - that the PM I got was what they put in the FR comment box when they created the FR. I also don't know whether that still happens.
This stuff is remarkably opaque, sometimes. Usually I test things when I have questions, find out: Not interested in generating FRs at someone just to test, in this case. 🤷♀️ If anyone else wants to test, isn't my friend, feel free to FR me.
Yes, this is what I'm remembering. The last friend request I got (I'm thinking two or three months back) showed that box when I clicked on the received friend request, but the box was empty. But apparently that's no indication of whether the requester included a message. Now I feel guilty about all the friend requests I've refused because they couldn't be bothered to include a message. I guess going forward I have to accept them all and send a message asking if they sent a message, because it didn't come through.kshama2001 wrote: »@lynn_glenmont: I just sent you a friend request with a message.lynn_glenmont wrote: »I received (and accepted) the request, but the message did not come through.
The sad thing is, I'm so used to things on MFP not working like they should that I can't even work up a good whine over this tech fail.
@Alex presumably messages accompanying FR not getting through is a known issue, yes? ETA for fix?0 -
Well, even though we're not "friends" in the MFP sense @AnnPT77 ; still, I do consider you a friend!
But I do confirm that some PM sends go through, for example I think I've sent to both @kshama2001 and @paperpudding in the past without being friends and they did get the PM.
But other people have not.
The only differentiating factor I can think off is that the accounts where things worked as expected were older ones.
sent you a test message lol im friends with kshama so the long term member theory wouldnt work with her, but we're not friends, so we shall see lol1 -
Well, even though we're not "friends" in the MFP sense @AnnPT77 ; still, I do consider you a friend!
But I do confirm that some PM sends go through, for example I think I've sent to both @kshama2001 and @paperpudding in the past without being friends and they did get the PM.
But other people have not.
The only differentiating factor I can think off is that the accounts where things worked as expected were older ones.
Yes, we are not officially friends but I have received messages from you.1 -
The OP has been pretty well debated, but I figured I'd share my 2 cents.
I bust my butt pretty hard in the gym. But my life is complex and sensitive. I have been here 10 years (my login streak is 3355 days tomorrow) and I consider a number of the people on my FL family. My feed is a blend of personal and fitness and I love it, when I am able to extract myself long enoug to try and catch up.
I don't add new people very often because I do suck as a friend (I cannot keep up with every post), and a lot of what I post is personal - this is my safe place. But I also post gifs of my workout, workout questions, plans, routines, struggles, form checks, flex pics, cellulite shots etc.
Thing is... it's just as easy to add as it is to delete people, and it seems rather cowardly to broadcast your disappointment in your friend group in a message board in the hopes that people will see each other out after they see that you don't really care about them.
You might clean out your feed faster if you post your disappointment on your own feed... just tell people that if they insist on posting crap about their kids / husbands / dogs / cats / and anything else that is not fitness related, then you don't want to be friends. I'm sure it'll be very effective.
We each have a path we want to walk. Some people walk at your pace, some faster, some slower, some not at all. Just keep adding and pruning your list until you get what you want.9 -
I think the OP has actually left the building: I get page not found.5
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1
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Hmm, she's 6 weeks younger than me...but several years older than Ann.2 -
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I think the OP has actually left the building: I get page not found.
The beauty of the internet is that a couple of clicks can take you to a new pond if you don't find the current one good enough for your needs. AND/OR if you change your mind, or reconsider, all it takes are a couple of clicks to get a fresh start with no baggage.7 -
i got your message this morning
hmmm PROBABLY thinking about it now that we BOTH tried to send each other messages.I think the OP has actually left the building: I get page not found.
pity.
4 -
Well, I now did get your message that you got my message whereas before I had not gotten a message which has me more confused than ever. Your and K's accounts are older than mine. Annie is a tad more spry than any of us!1
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KickassAmazon76 wrote: »The OP has been pretty well debated, but I figured I'd share my 2 cents.
I bust my butt pretty hard in the gym. But my life is complex and sensitive. I have been here 10 years (my login streak is 3355 days tomorrow) and I consider a number of the people on my FL family. My feed is a blend of personal and fitness and I love it, when I am able to extract myself long enoug to try and catch up.
I don't add new people very often because I do suck as a friend (I cannot keep up with every post), and a lot of what I post is personal - this is my safe place. But I also post gifs of my workout, workout questions, plans, routines, struggles, form checks, flex pics, cellulite shots etc.
Thing is... it's just as easy to add as it is to delete people, and it seems rather cowardly to broadcast your disappointment in your friend group in a message board in the hopes that people will see each other out after they see that you don't really care about them.
You might clean out your feed faster if you post your disappointment on your own feed... just tell people that if they insist on posting crap about their kids / husbands / dogs / cats / and anything else that is not fitness related, then you don't want to be friends. I'm sure it'll be very effective.
We each have a path we want to walk. Some people walk at your pace, some faster, some slower, some not at all. Just keep adding and pruning your list until you get what you want.
I suck as a friend as well so it's not just you. But I have a feeling I'll be spending a lot more time there than on the forums. I always thought it was just happening to others, things that made this place feel toxic, but nope.
BTW, your post was very well said.
2 -
KickassAmazon76 wrote: »The OP has been pretty well debated, but I figured I'd share my 2 cents.
I bust my butt pretty hard in the gym. But my life is complex and sensitive. I have been here 10 years (my login streak is 3355 days tomorrow) and I consider a number of the people on my FL family. My feed is a blend of personal and fitness and I love it, when I am able to extract myself long enoug to try and catch up.
I don't add new people very often because I do suck as a friend (I cannot keep up with every post), and a lot of what I post is personal - this is my safe place. But I also post gifs of my workout, workout questions, plans, routines, struggles, form checks, flex pics, cellulite shots etc.
Thing is... it's just as easy to add as it is to delete people, and it seems rather cowardly to broadcast your disappointment in your friend group in a message board in the hopes that people will see each other out after they see that you don't really care about them.
You might clean out your feed faster if you post your disappointment on your own feed... just tell people that if they insist on posting crap about their kids / husbands / dogs / cats / and anything else that is not fitness related, then you don't want to be friends. I'm sure it'll be very effective.
We each have a path we want to walk. Some people walk at your pace, some faster, some slower, some not at all. Just keep adding and pruning your list until you get what you want.
I suck as a friend as well so it's not just you. But I have a feeling I'll be spending a lot more time there than on the forums. I always thought it was just happening to others, things that made this place feel toxic, but nope.
BTW, your post was very well said.
But but but…..(lip quivers)….we’d miss you here, Reenie!!!!3 -
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Well, I now did get your message that you got my message whereas before I had not gotten a message which has me more confused than ever. Your and K's accounts are older than mine. Annie is a tad more spry than any of us!
i think if BOTH people (regardless of account age) try to send each other messages, they will go through.1
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