WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR SEPTEMBER 2021
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Tracey – I just find this a blessing in disguise. Here the lady at Food Lion was telling me about how hard it would be for me to find another job with the hours I wanted to work, but here I find one with the hours AND at a higher salary. Guess in a sense it was a good thing that she did what she did to me. God took care of me.
Rori – you are so wise. OHHH...that picture, the kitty is so, so cute. You look like you’ve lost weight.
My throat is feeling “scratchy”. I know that it’s this change in weather, you need pants in the a.m., shorts in the afternoon, then pants late in the evening. I don’t know if I should wear short or long pj’s. This weather is really messing with me...lol But this too shall pass. Just had some applesauce to coat my throat, now drinking a cup of hot tea. He a cup last night but that time with honey in it.
Michele NC
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Michele, awe scratchy throats are no fun. When I get a scratchy throat I gargle with warm water with salt in it. Its awful, but it does help a bit. When I was young my mom used to coat our tonsils with Mercurachrome! I'm pretty sure it was not meant to be painted on the inside of our mouths, but I am alive to tell the story!
Rebecca
Who had a silly mother in
Whidbey
Washington1 -
Rori - Holy cats! You look beautiful, still loving your short hair. Did your leash-loving kitty notice that you've been out catting around? (I'm sorry, but sometimes the pun just jumps all over me.)
Michele - Congrats on the BK job! I worked for one in Texas more than 40 years ago, but my only memory honestly is of leaving work and smelling like a Whopper all the time.
Debbie - That picture was beautiful. I could practically taste the grapes.
Katla - I'm so glad you and your husband are going to go together. You both need this.
Machka - Hope the endoscopy goes well.
Wide awake, my gut started acting up at about 10:30, and now it's nearly 2 a.m. I'll be able to sleep soon, I can tell, but thought I'd drop in here. The gut has settled somewhat, and hopefully will let me sleep. Hugs to those in need of some...
Love y'all,
Lisa in AR4 -
Rori - Fabulous photo.
Sending hugs and love, my friend. When are you coming over on that postponed trip to the UK? 
Life must feel a bittersweet magical wonderland right now.
Scheduled to pick up Bea today, but need a key to the house. I've texted my son. He sent an incomprehensible emoji. I hope the rain we see forecast will give us a window for the pickup.
I'm feeling nervous. Not sure why. DH is a bit antsy having finished his long project of the novel. He has started researching the next one!
I am nearing the end of mine. Mixed feelings of nerves, excitement, tiredness, antsyness, weepyness. You name it, I'm feeling it. It’s been three and a half years in the making.
Keep on trucking. I'm not finished yet.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
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LISA ALLIE KIM BETH TRACEY others,
Thanks for your input.
I dont interact with F. He has been pretty much absent from our group for 6 months. a few days before his retirement - his is back and causing trouble. Indeed he is retiring so that can be legitimate reason for modifying his status in the collective, which, at present has few solid rules. I wrote or spoke to the 5 other active members about this. One on the phone said that retirees don't need to have same status as working members, (or be members) and if I'm not there the collective will stop it's activity. One - before I thought of the retirement thing said - "we can vote - you or him. Everyone will choose you. I choose you." I'm not keen on such an approach.
Two others I wrote to just today, including O. Title of email to O= "Transitional therapy for young retirees?" F hasn't been there for 6 months and has been rather conflictual and has always been messy. his role was key and active early on, but - as has been said he is at best "a maverick" - not doing anything and then coming back and acting willy-nilly. if seems to me that he is just using the collective for familiar comfort while transitioning into retirement. I doubt he will be active in 6 months. I wrote that F may well need some accompanying for difficult period of early retirement but that we don't have the skills for such an accompaniment, that presumably there are some organisations or groups that do - quite possibly even engaged ones. it was half ironic but not really all that much when you get to it.
If F sticks around - and I suppose he will continue, I think I will call it quits.
I sent sms to all actives Sunday to let them now I may stop. to those who ask or called in response, I told them why.
Sadly I think you are right about O., who I have considered a relatively close friend-colleague. He tends to be very kind I would say, with everyone, or nearly everyone, or at least polite and tends to kind or kind-mannered. The DARK SIDE of that can be saying different things to different people. "Yes you are right" to me. "Yes you are right "to F. And his tendency would be to align himself with F when forced to choose. So I reminded him again by mail how F was vulgar in his repeated criticism and at the time O seemed clearly more aligned with F - though softening a bit as we discussed - more distant, even some as F was there...
My impression was that O was acting as if he and I are not friend- colleagues at all, whereas really we are. We work a lot together (maybe 2h on phone and google doc every 2 weeks or so usually on a Saturday or Sunday and work goes well) and we also meet for a bite or coffee maybe once every 2 weeks or so. I think it's partly to keep a "liveness" to the dryness of online/phone working - after year+ of confinement or semi-confinement here. A bit like regular work.
I will not interact any more with F. If he is allowed to come to meetings I'm going to do my best to have his status reduced. "Emeritus member"
I wrote to O, echoing some of what some of you have said.
That he must agree with F when F complains about me.
And he agrees with me when we talk about the problems of F.
That if he wants to agree with and support F when F is vulgar and insulting and pretend that O and I don't have a harmonious friendly constructive work relationship - then he can do that but then I certainly don't consider that a friendship - and we can skip the friend part and only talk about professional things as is the case with many colleagues, with whom there is a peaceful or friendly professional relationship.
I know he said at other times he considers we are friends.
But I figure if you either
are friends but pretend you are not
OR
pretend you are friends, but are not,
you are not really a friend !
it sounds like a high school movie to me. something I didn't experience in high school.
ALLIE thanks for explaining your path about that. I am sorry you had to go through that. It sounds really hard. if people are nice at 1st it is hard to know they will not be later.
Even for your DH1, I don't know that one should eliminate prospects due to their parents. My sister's 2nd Husband's mom nd also 1st wife are both really out there, but he has been a rock and good guy for my sister and her son, and even extended family when need be, for close to 20 years. He was the caretaker of these out there ladies and families. So maybe there was no way to know for you. Especially If DH2 had such a change of character. Some people do. I have met a few who when in their old family region were unpleasant throwbacks. This is not a romance thing with F and O. F is not at all appealing. He is (O said!) also unkempt. Apparently that has changed in the past few years. O said F looks like a bum! (whereas he has been teaching in higher ed!). It was not an offhand insult - when I said I now find F repulsive due to his recent behavior - O said he found that a bit on the physical level -that he is so unkempt. Whereas we never talk about people's appearances. With O it is not a romance either, just a good working relation (mostly). I would say I have about 4 people I talk to more or often - in life a present. O, B (guys) and S and M (women). This can change from year to year. B I have known for the longest, and thus I don't question our friendship much at all.
O is quite reliable.
I'm willing to let the "friendship" part go if it is not authentic enough, and just continue the work part.
running late for a drs appointment, I have so been dragging since Sunday morning.0 -
HEATHER what do you do when you feel antsy?0
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I've been in bad physically and emotionally since Sunday (since I got mail from colleague who informed me that F was trying to subtly get her against me and seemed to enjoy making things a bit difficult for me in a conversation - when I didn't get it - apparently using a term with double meaning and being collusive with her ...)1
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"Get to do"s and "chose well"sChose well: BP, dogs to powerline in the rain, one load laundry.
Bonus: veg prep, practiced WBW, DM, practiced 7/8 of Grand Daddy Long Legs, burned a bunch of financial papers.
Get to do: take BP, dogs to powerline, call Spectrum Mobile to learn how to print statements, learn last eighth of GDLL, pick up rx, DDS, call pc guy to schedule tuneup, learn a section of GrandDaddy Long Legs, USE those torture bands/do that BB&B video, call S, text C, fire district: research NFPA, grant NIMS requirements, input 2019 call sheets into NFIRS, work with chief on equipment letter, substance abuse policy, NFIRS mutual aid and other missing details, likewise Lee skills/tasks, ask for boots donator contact info, appreciation letter or certificate to boots donator, index mutual aid files; watch STAS Day 20, declutter sideboard, learn new dances (Tequila Little Time, Homesick, Nothing but You, A Little Less Broken, Blame it on my beating heart, Do Your Thing, practice dances: Silver Linings, All Night, TGIF, I ain’t never gonna love nobody but Cornell Crawford (Alley cat), One Margarita, I’m so used to being broke); finish mulching flowerbed, invest another 10 minutes in prepping living trust, Freddie’s for complete series TDAP <$48, get Shingrix vaccine, find and configure a screen time popup, figure out where to plant the last of the naked lady bulbs, and soon as it warms up above 50 and dries out below 60% humidity I’ll tape and spray paint those rusted areas of Aunt Elsie’s stove, ask Te about GB’s FD firetruck tax levy – contacts, media, advocate???, Reward: inventory seeds, plan this fall’s garden, wishlist replenishments (Milena F1 orange peppers and beit alpha cukes next year).
September
28: Choose to see your mistakes as steps to help you learn. Saved by grace.
Scorched the garlic in my lemon parmesan roasted cauliflower, stank up the house. Foo.
Pouring down rain all day, a real Oregon gully washer. It was much needed. Can hear the creek flowing again and more confident of our cistern.
Thanks for bringing the rain, pip! Was fun chatting with you on the phone. Too bad the restaurant was closed, I would have enjoyed dining with you, Kirby and Yogi.
Kate, good to see you popping in.
Karen thanks for your compassionate analysis
Machka “only 33 floors” :laugh: Fingers X’d for the procedure.
Julie I’m with Lisa. Seems the pain F causes outweighs the benefits of the activism collective. Good luck with the Dr. appointment.
Beth I eat the huckleberries as is while harvesting, then both Joe and I sprinkle on our morning oats. Next year hope to have enough for a crumble or a cobbler… ((hugs))
Allie remind me where you’re going? Don’t understand about the gate and the HOA.
Tracey glad you had a restful weekend.
Michele hope your prep work job morphs into one where you have more customer contact
Katla ((hugs)) and sending hopeful vibes your DH will be up for the trip.
Rori :love: the pic!
Heather having two antsy authors in the house at once must be challenging.
Rebecca mercurochrome on tonsils?!? Gaaaaa!!!!!
Lighter, lovelies!
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
September: leaner/stronger/kinder than August.2021: choose to be leaner/stronger/kinder NOW
daily: sit with Joe:28, weigh/wii: 26/0/0; steps>7222=7895 vits=27, log=27, CI<CO=25, CI<250<CO=16, Tumble=23, Shadow=26, mfp=25, outside=31, up hill=25, clean 10=13.
wkly: Sun: Mon: Tue:LD=1.5, Wed:TC=1, PW=2, Thurs: TC=5mins, Fri:TC=1.33, Sat:PW=2, rX x4=4.
wt=1/31:141.3 2/28:142.4 3/31:145.3 4/30:141.5 5/31:142.4 6/30:141.5 7/31:140.2 8/31:140.0 9/5:140.2 9/12:139.8 9/19:142.2 9/26:140.7 9/30:
mnthly: board mtg=1, grant=, plan=, waist=42.
bonus: AF=13, play=1.25!!! sew=
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Barbara- i have a little hallway and someone from the board took a picture of a long gate i was planning on giving to a friend of mine it is about 20 inches high and free standing,and had it for Alfie so ,they sent me a picture and rolled off some rule and if i didnt move it there would be a fine.. i had already moved it when I got the letter.. sometimes they have nothing better to do 🙄
Julie- im sorry,thought you were talking men ,not colleagues.. but neither of them sound great either..
After I got back from my trip last February. I had to think long and hard.
The owner that had bought the dental practice I worked for was a jerk and didnt treat us well.. mostly it was us who did the office work,so he basically made it unbearable until we quit. Had I just hung on another week or 2 I could have gotten unemployment..I tried but I had already written him a resignation letter so it didnt fly.
The stress from the job didnt help my heart issues either.so I have been living on alimony up until last week when i got my first disability check..
But im doing well and im healthy for the time being,here is hoping i stay that way.. i pray every day 🙏 I do..2 -
Julie - I have recently been practising some mind techniques. I have gleaned them from all kinds of sources. The basic idea is to see the mind/thoughts as different from the real "I" and to observe them. Observe them with compassion.
I follow a lot of mind teachers/psychologists in books and online and watch videos. I find them the most enormous help.
I have also found that it is important to really sink into the feeling temporarily in order to really explore it. Not to stay there, but to see where it comes from and recognise it as OK and normal.
Then you can deal with it.
I also am very, very lucky to have a husband who I can talk to. He is not perfect, but, if I express myself the right way, he can listen and sympathise. Occasionally he tries to argue me out of it, which does not work, but I remind him that I just need him to listen. A good friend would be the same.
So, I would say, feel it, really feel it. Accept it as OK to have those feelings. Then know you are not your feelings. Watch them with your wise self. Have compassion for them. Let them go and be in the present. Just be, here, now.
I use various visualisations to help me with this that I learnt from my mentors. Most of our mind talk is just that. Internal chatter. If you message me I can suggest some sources I have found helpful.
I hope that is helpful. Of course, exercise is a great medicine, as is actually getting on with the thing you are worrying about instead of procrastinating. My school report said, 'Heather should not procrastinate so much.'
Love to all, Heather UK xxxxxxxx1 -
About dh reverting: My DH came from a family where constant arguments and insults were normal. He was different with me for many years, until his health started to go. Then he became nasty, and I left him. I couldn't handle his attitude. I feel like I should have looked more closely at his family before the wedding.
About dreams: Some days I want to write a novel, and some days I think it's not worth the work and the loss of privacy. Of course I dream about winning the lottery! I would buy a fancy big house by a lake. And I dream about being young and strong again. And about falling in love again. 😊
Annie in Delaware2 -
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Annie- i truly believe that I was brought into Toms life to be there for his parents.. you hVe heard my stories over the years of all the trials and tribulations with them.. but I loved them dearly.. when i go in ,I go all in.. so I have no qualms of doing what i did for either of them..
Going to go over and get Homer out and then come back and do some more work here..1 -
Rori love the picture!1
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Barbara, Allie, Heather, thanks. Heather that is mostly meditation practices which I'm pretty accustomed to but not practicing all that much at present. that would be helpful and is a good reminder.
at present I feel physically ill more than anything else.
O and I are now in a tiff or at odds since I called him again (my email) on his position at the time. he is a bit too casual about it. I wouldn't be so upset but we spoke about this sort of stuff some time ago and he seemed to be pretty balanced and fair friend after a while - but we never had an out and out situation in his presence - so it was impossible to see how he would be...
I feel just exhausted and not very grounded.pain in chest area. slight headache. feels like emotionally provoked unwell ness, but sometimes there can be a mix-up. barely slept.i woke up at say 2 am and then didn't fall back asleep. that's never great.1 -
Tracey ~ Love the photo of the geese.
Allie ~ I wonder if the woman above you with the grandson complained about the gate thinking you had complained about her noisy grandson. Just a thought.
Julie ~ I would be a nervous wreck if I had to constantly fight/deal with the people I work with. Maybe it's time to draw back and not interact with any of them if you can avoid it.
Husband fell Saturday and hurt his already bad knee. So he has been hobbling around on his crutch again.
Carol in GA5 -
In my garden ... planted by me ... photographed by me.
M in Oz
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Tttttt0
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Machka – Daylight Saving’s time ends November 7 for us. I wish it was year around. Setting clocks forward and back is a nuisance. :ohwell:
Michele – I have had friend requests and simply declined. It seems to me that some of the newer people are trying to get as many “friends” as possible, as if it is a competition. :noway:
Tracey – The field of geese is with fall tree leaves in the background is lovely. I am well acquainted with the Canadian Geese, but not the white ones. Are they Arctic Swans? :flowerforyou: As to our travel plans, we expect to go forward with them. When we arrive in VA we will spend some days in quarantine, from what our son told us. We have both had double Pfizer shots and also had recent flu shots. The flu shots hurt a bit.
Rori – Being wheelchair bound in the airport is something DH has done in the past. His worst worries have to do with using the restroom during the flight. We hope to get aisle seats close to the nearest restroom. On another subject - you and your kitty are very photogenic. The two of you are lovely.
Allie – I am happy that you are doing well these days. :flowerforyou:
We live in Halloween Town, and the festivities will begin October 2, with the annual Halloween Town Parade. I plan to watch the parade and enjoy it. I hope the weather is nice for the parade.
We haven’t booked our flights to Virginia yet. DH will be in charge of booking flights. Thank goodness.
Katla, looking forward to HalloweenTown, and to our trip to VA
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3 more nights of camping then we are home 🏠. Then we will see the new garage, kitchen , bathroom and entry way floor and back patio!!!!!!!5
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View outside from the laundry room yesterday
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Lots on my mind right now….
RvRita9 -
Pip--Glad that Jake got good news and no treatment at this time.
Beth--Hugs and prayers.
Katla--I am so sorry as I know how much you have been looking forward to the time with DGS while mom and dad were at the hospital. I agree you need to have a talk with DH and work out something you both are happy with. Glad to see you have worked it out and are flying there together.
Heather--What a fun birthday outing for Edie and her friends. Hugs, you have put a lot into this book, not surprised you are feeling so many different emotions.
Rori--I agree that you look great and the cat looks very happy.
Michele--Hope this new job works out for you. Sounds like the hours and pay are a step up.
Lisa--Hope you are able to get some rest and feel better soon.
Been a stressful week (last week and so far this week) with DH and his health. Doctors have ruled out heart attack and blood clots. But he gets so tried real fast and still has chest pressure. He worked almost 2 hours yesterday and they sent him home. So far today he has been there almost 4 hours. Doctors still thinks it is a reaction to his second Covid shot. Our trip to Iowa next week will not be happening as I told him I am not going and him end up in a hospital out there, and our son and family have Covid.
Life One day at a time.
Blessings, VICKI GRAND ISLAND, NE 3 -
Vicki- yikes hope he feels better soon..some people have crazy reactions ro the vaccine
Rori- love that picture of you...
Rita- sometimes you just have to take things an hour at a time if needed..
They have delivered thr windows but like I said ill be one of the last ones to get them installed,but i washed thr one set of curtain sheers yesterday and ill so the other set that i took down from the patio door on Thursday, tomorrow is going to be to crazy..1 -
Heather thank you for your incite and clarity in how you handle your emotions. Our minds are truly remarkable things. I sometimes have too much emotions for my youngest son that does not communicate with us. There are some days when emotions have to splash out of my eyeballs, and I have recognized that I need to do that, in order to process, and move forward. Some days its like I mourn for him, but I take all of that stress and worry and mold it into a heart like playing with Play dough. I have you all, and I have a group Navy Moms Strong and they understand as well.
Rebecca
Whidbey
Washington2 -
Rebecca - Yes, feel it, feel it, but don't live in it.
After the babysitting I suggested to DH that we abandon the delicious lamb casserole I had prepared at home and elope to Fatto a Mano for a pizza and wine. Good decision. We had a wonderful long chat and he helped me see that I don't need to write the introduction. I will do a short epilogue and save the intro stuff for Instagram or even another book. What a load off my shoulders. I'm sure it is the right decision.
Now to get on with the production.
Love Heather UK xxxxxx1 -
I bought a powerball lottery ticket. The jackpot is up to $570 million! Such a lovely dream.3
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Heather said, "I have recently been practising some mind techniques. I have gleaned them from all kinds of sources. The basic idea is to see the mind/thoughts as different from the real "I" and to observe them." This brought to mind what a pastor I follow said recently. Paraphrase: You are not what you think you are! You are what your thoughts are! I am sure this could be a really controversial topic to explore as when I told my husband this he did not agree at all. So, I have thought about it a lot.
Carol in GA4 -
Carol - I think what I meant was, we are not our 'thoughts'. Especially we are not our mind's chatter. There is a part of us that is apart from all that monkey mind.
I agree it is a difficult concept to get our minds around.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx1 -
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