Less Alcohol ~ SEPTEMBER 2021 ~ One Day At A Time
MissMay
Posts: 3,738 Member
~THIS IS A MONTHLY CONTINUING THREAD THAT HAS BEEN ACTIVE SINCE AS FAR BACK AS 2017.
ALL WELCOME ~
Do you want to drink LESS?
Do it because it's a lovely thing to do for yourself!
I bet that thinking a day off is a sort of punishment and hasn't been working.
Be kind to the person you will wake up as.
Join us in drinking LESS (whatever that means for you) one day at a time, as we continue to support and learn from each other.
▪MFP LESS ALCOHOL ONE DAY AT A TIME RESOURCE & GENERAL INFORMATION LIST▪
USING THIS THREAD:
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•Join us at any time - this is a day to day challenge.
•Set your own goal - this thread is about drinking less and you decide what that means to you.
•There are no scheduled check-ins - post as often or as little as you want or need.
•AF is an acronym for Alcohol Free. For others commonly used on this site see - https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1069278/acronyms-and-terms-for-new-mfp-members-v-6/p1
•To follow this thread easily, bookmark it by clicking on the star at the top right of this thread.
•Remember that we are here for you and care about you. Check in with us when you have time and let us know what you need!
TIPS & OBSERVATIONS FROM OUR USERS:
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•Getting Started or Starting Over - The Early Days
•Some people find it easier to set small attainable goals at the beginning to help boost confidence.
•If you have been drinking daily the first days will be some of the hardest and drinking again will feel like a cure but it delays the relief that only time can provide.
•There will always be a reason to delay the start/restart of your journey.
•For those ready to commit to being alcohol-free permanently, the videos on YouTube by Craig Beck will help. He also has a program you can join.
•You may experience mood swings and anxiety during your first two weeks. It is suggested you try and focus on the benefits of your goal.
•Cravings are said to last only 6 minutes, so find something to distract you like arming yourself with alternatives: tea, mock-tails, activities, etc.
•You may find that filling the time you drink with other activities like exercise or hobbies can be a helpful distraction.
•If you find them tempting try and avoid events/outings that will have drinking for a time.
•Don't let pride or shame keep you from asking for the help you need.
•Sometimes talking it out or posting your thoughts/feelings/struggles may help you work things out for yourself.
•It is okay that you don't always have all the answers.
•Some days will be easier than others.
•You may have initial/increased sugar cravings.
•You should never take a day that you have lived up to your goals for granted.
•Celebrate the smaller victories too. Less alcohol is still less alcohol even if your goal was zero at that moment.
•Once you begin sticking to your goals for one day to many days you should believe you are capable of the same and more because you are.
•Failure is not giving in and drinking. Failure is to stop trying to accomplish your goals.
•Annie Grace (This Naked Mind author) has a free program on her website (https://www.alcoholexperiment.com/) called the 30 day experiment which can be joined anonymously.
Life with Less Alcohol:
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•It can be helpful to educate yourself with books and web research (Some suggested books and links listed below).
•There is no benefit to comparing yourself to others because this is a personal journey.
•You may often feel conflicted. You will know that there are numerous real benefits to sticking to your goal while at the same time think that alcohol is an important part of stress relief, relaxation, celebration, etc.
•You may feel punished by not drinking or drinking less but that feeling usually fades with time.
•Sometimes drinking less or quitting will strain friendships that centered around alcohol.
•Having a list of reasons to stick to your goals handy for yourself can be helpful. Some lists have included remembering how bad it feels to have a hangover, excess/unwanted calories, having a racing heart during the night, sleeplessness, anxiety, and depression.
•It is a good idea to have a plan for how you might deal with various tempting scenarios before engaging in a social situation.
•Self-Reflection is an important part of the journey. Once we figure out why we drink we can hopefully use that information to form new habits and make better and more mindful decisions.
•Sometimes doing something nice for yourself like a little reward for a success makes the journey easier.
•You will see many helpful suggestions and ideas that work for some people. However, finding what tactics work for you may involve some trial and error.
•It is not uncommon for certain activities that were once combined with alcohol to trigger temptation. Many have said that outdoor activities in warmer weather made alcohol very tempting.
•Many that have spent time with no alcohol after drinking again realized that it doesn't enhance experiences like they once believed it did. Some have said they no longer like the taste.
•Don't forget how sticking to your goal has made your life better and remember it to motivate you again if you fall off your path.
•If you begin drinking daily again whether planned like a vacation or unplanned you may once again face a struggle to get it under control.
•For some people it is easier to not drink than it is to moderate drinking. Others have found moderating impossible.
Reported Benefits of Less or No Drinking: (Results may be incremental, and/or they may vary)
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•Improved sleep after 2,4,7,10,& 60 days
•Improved skin/complexion after 10 days
•Improved ease in weight loss. Not only from the savings of alcohol calories but some report making poor food choices after drinking.
•Increased energy after as few as 2 days
•Increase in other fun activities. Some have found that daily drinking became their main recreational activity and their world was decreased in size.
•Increased productivity
•Reduction of high blood pressure
•Lower resting heart rate
•Less Acid Re-flux
•Significant financial savings
•More creativity
•More productivity
•Better relationships with family
When Alcohol Is Used for Avoidance:
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•We drink to ease the stress of the working day, to avoid it.
•We drink to avoid anxiety in social situations.
•We drink to avoid making decisions about not drinking.
•The Takeaway on Avoidance, our problems don't go away if we avoid them. We need to learn to face them.
•Having a clear head makes our problems seem much smaller.
•Having a clear head makes problems easier to solve.
How to Be Kind to "Tomorrow You":
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•Instead of lumbering with guilt, headaches, and poor nutrition hangovers in the morning, Think of think how nice it would be not to feel that way tomorrow.
•Worry about "me" and don't let "tomorrow Me" feel awful.
•Instead of thinking alcohol is something nice to have *now*, think of *NOT drinking* as something nice we can do for the person we are when we awaken in the morning.
•Do you bank calories for a festive occasion? (Handy tactic) We can bank a good mood for when we wake up.
•We need to have sympathy for "Tomorrow You" and be kind to her/him.
•Don't look at a day without alcohol as a punishment for being bad or having no willpower.
•Not drinking is a lovely, sympathetic gesture towards the person we are now, and whom we will wake up as.
•You’d be kind to a stranger. Be kind to "Tomorrow You".
LINKS:
▪▪▪▪
•Mydrinkaware:
https://www.mydrinkaware.co.uk
•A Sharing Site for Women:
http://www.drinkingdiaries.com/about/
•General Information/Blog Sites:
https://thesoberschool.com/
http://www.hipsobriety.com/
https://joinclubsoda.co.uk/
https://thisnakedmind.com/blog/
https://alcoholmastery.com/blog/
•Sobriety Blog:
http://mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.com/
•The Thirty Day Experiment:
https://www.alcoholexperiment.com/
•Ten Things That Helped Me Quit Booze:
https://unpickledblog.com/2017/01/04/replacement-behaviours-ten-things-that-helped-me-kick-booze/?wref=tp
•The Neuroscience Behind How We Make Decisions:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201505/the-neuroscience-making-decision
•Summary of Book on Addiction:
https://drgabormate.com/book/in-the-realm-of-hungry-ghosts/
•Article on the Difference Between Being an Alcoholic and Really Liking to Drink:
https://www.self.com/story/alcoholic-or-just-really-like-to-drink
•To the Mom questioning her drinking habits:
http://www.scarymommy.com/questioning-drinking-habits/
•Guided Meditations:
http://marc.ucla.edu/mindful-meditations
ALTERNATIVE DRINKS:
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•Overnight Cold Brew Iced Tea:
https://www.splendidtable.org/story/you-can-cold-brew-iced-tea-while-you-sleep
•Mocktail Recipes:
https://www.allrecipes.com/recipes/1822/drinks/mocktails/
https://www.foodandwine.com/cocktails-spirits/mocktails
https://www.townandcountrymag.com/leisure/drinks/how-to/g785/best-mocktail-recipes/
APPS:
▪▪▪▪
•Daybreak iOS link. A Deakin University study of hundreds of health apps found that Daybreak is one of only four that have proven effective and provide quality assistance.
•Dry Days by AlcoChange iOS is for those who want to cut down or cut out the booze throughout the year, while seeing the impact it has on your health and wallet.
•nomo - Sobriety Clocks iOS - In addition to an alcohol clock and monetary savings this app lets you check in and do a sobriety exercise if you're tempted, and connect with accountability partners.
•Sobriety Counter - Stop Drinking (Sobriety Counter - EasyQuit pro version) Android- Provides health stats, money saved, games to distract you, motivational tips, and several other features
BOOKS:
▪▪▪▪
•The Naked Mind by Annie Grace
•Alcohol Lied to Me by Craig Beck
•Rational Recovery by Jack Trimpey
•The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray
•The Liars Club, Cherry, and Lit by Mary Karr (3 different publications)
•Kick the Drink...Easily by Jason Vale
•Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp
•Being Sober: A Step-by-Step Guide to Getting To, Getting Through, and Living in Recovery by Harry Haroutunian
•The Easy, Illustrated Way to Quit Drinking by Alan Carr
•Alcohol Explained by William Porter
Credit and thanks to the MFP Less Alcohol One Day at a Time participants
For their willingness to share their insights and resourcefulness in finding this information
ALL WELCOME ~
Do you want to drink LESS?
Do it because it's a lovely thing to do for yourself!
I bet that thinking a day off is a sort of punishment and hasn't been working.
Be kind to the person you will wake up as.
Join us in drinking LESS (whatever that means for you) one day at a time, as we continue to support and learn from each other.
▪MFP LESS ALCOHOL ONE DAY AT A TIME RESOURCE & GENERAL INFORMATION LIST▪
USING THIS THREAD:
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•Join us at any time - this is a day to day challenge.
•Set your own goal - this thread is about drinking less and you decide what that means to you.
•There are no scheduled check-ins - post as often or as little as you want or need.
•AF is an acronym for Alcohol Free. For others commonly used on this site see - https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1069278/acronyms-and-terms-for-new-mfp-members-v-6/p1
•To follow this thread easily, bookmark it by clicking on the star at the top right of this thread.
•Remember that we are here for you and care about you. Check in with us when you have time and let us know what you need!
TIPS & OBSERVATIONS FROM OUR USERS:
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•Getting Started or Starting Over - The Early Days
•Some people find it easier to set small attainable goals at the beginning to help boost confidence.
•If you have been drinking daily the first days will be some of the hardest and drinking again will feel like a cure but it delays the relief that only time can provide.
•There will always be a reason to delay the start/restart of your journey.
•For those ready to commit to being alcohol-free permanently, the videos on YouTube by Craig Beck will help. He also has a program you can join.
•You may experience mood swings and anxiety during your first two weeks. It is suggested you try and focus on the benefits of your goal.
•Cravings are said to last only 6 minutes, so find something to distract you like arming yourself with alternatives: tea, mock-tails, activities, etc.
•You may find that filling the time you drink with other activities like exercise or hobbies can be a helpful distraction.
•If you find them tempting try and avoid events/outings that will have drinking for a time.
•Don't let pride or shame keep you from asking for the help you need.
•Sometimes talking it out or posting your thoughts/feelings/struggles may help you work things out for yourself.
•It is okay that you don't always have all the answers.
•Some days will be easier than others.
•You may have initial/increased sugar cravings.
•You should never take a day that you have lived up to your goals for granted.
•Celebrate the smaller victories too. Less alcohol is still less alcohol even if your goal was zero at that moment.
•Once you begin sticking to your goals for one day to many days you should believe you are capable of the same and more because you are.
•Failure is not giving in and drinking. Failure is to stop trying to accomplish your goals.
•Annie Grace (This Naked Mind author) has a free program on her website (https://www.alcoholexperiment.com/) called the 30 day experiment which can be joined anonymously.
Life with Less Alcohol:
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•It can be helpful to educate yourself with books and web research (Some suggested books and links listed below).
•There is no benefit to comparing yourself to others because this is a personal journey.
•You may often feel conflicted. You will know that there are numerous real benefits to sticking to your goal while at the same time think that alcohol is an important part of stress relief, relaxation, celebration, etc.
•You may feel punished by not drinking or drinking less but that feeling usually fades with time.
•Sometimes drinking less or quitting will strain friendships that centered around alcohol.
•Having a list of reasons to stick to your goals handy for yourself can be helpful. Some lists have included remembering how bad it feels to have a hangover, excess/unwanted calories, having a racing heart during the night, sleeplessness, anxiety, and depression.
•It is a good idea to have a plan for how you might deal with various tempting scenarios before engaging in a social situation.
•Self-Reflection is an important part of the journey. Once we figure out why we drink we can hopefully use that information to form new habits and make better and more mindful decisions.
•Sometimes doing something nice for yourself like a little reward for a success makes the journey easier.
•You will see many helpful suggestions and ideas that work for some people. However, finding what tactics work for you may involve some trial and error.
•It is not uncommon for certain activities that were once combined with alcohol to trigger temptation. Many have said that outdoor activities in warmer weather made alcohol very tempting.
•Many that have spent time with no alcohol after drinking again realized that it doesn't enhance experiences like they once believed it did. Some have said they no longer like the taste.
•Don't forget how sticking to your goal has made your life better and remember it to motivate you again if you fall off your path.
•If you begin drinking daily again whether planned like a vacation or unplanned you may once again face a struggle to get it under control.
•For some people it is easier to not drink than it is to moderate drinking. Others have found moderating impossible.
Reported Benefits of Less or No Drinking: (Results may be incremental, and/or they may vary)
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•Improved sleep after 2,4,7,10,& 60 days
•Improved skin/complexion after 10 days
•Improved ease in weight loss. Not only from the savings of alcohol calories but some report making poor food choices after drinking.
•Increased energy after as few as 2 days
•Increase in other fun activities. Some have found that daily drinking became their main recreational activity and their world was decreased in size.
•Increased productivity
•Reduction of high blood pressure
•Lower resting heart rate
•Less Acid Re-flux
•Significant financial savings
•More creativity
•More productivity
•Better relationships with family
When Alcohol Is Used for Avoidance:
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•We drink to ease the stress of the working day, to avoid it.
•We drink to avoid anxiety in social situations.
•We drink to avoid making decisions about not drinking.
•The Takeaway on Avoidance, our problems don't go away if we avoid them. We need to learn to face them.
•Having a clear head makes our problems seem much smaller.
•Having a clear head makes problems easier to solve.
How to Be Kind to "Tomorrow You":
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•Instead of lumbering with guilt, headaches, and poor nutrition hangovers in the morning, Think of think how nice it would be not to feel that way tomorrow.
•Worry about "me" and don't let "tomorrow Me" feel awful.
•Instead of thinking alcohol is something nice to have *now*, think of *NOT drinking* as something nice we can do for the person we are when we awaken in the morning.
•Do you bank calories for a festive occasion? (Handy tactic) We can bank a good mood for when we wake up.
•We need to have sympathy for "Tomorrow You" and be kind to her/him.
•Don't look at a day without alcohol as a punishment for being bad or having no willpower.
•Not drinking is a lovely, sympathetic gesture towards the person we are now, and whom we will wake up as.
•You’d be kind to a stranger. Be kind to "Tomorrow You".
LINKS:
▪▪▪▪
•Mydrinkaware:
https://www.mydrinkaware.co.uk
•A Sharing Site for Women:
http://www.drinkingdiaries.com/about/
•General Information/Blog Sites:
https://thesoberschool.com/
http://www.hipsobriety.com/
https://joinclubsoda.co.uk/
https://thisnakedmind.com/blog/
https://alcoholmastery.com/blog/
•Sobriety Blog:
http://mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.com/
•The Thirty Day Experiment:
https://www.alcoholexperiment.com/
•Ten Things That Helped Me Quit Booze:
https://unpickledblog.com/2017/01/04/replacement-behaviours-ten-things-that-helped-me-kick-booze/?wref=tp
•The Neuroscience Behind How We Make Decisions:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201505/the-neuroscience-making-decision
•Summary of Book on Addiction:
https://drgabormate.com/book/in-the-realm-of-hungry-ghosts/
•Article on the Difference Between Being an Alcoholic and Really Liking to Drink:
https://www.self.com/story/alcoholic-or-just-really-like-to-drink
•To the Mom questioning her drinking habits:
http://www.scarymommy.com/questioning-drinking-habits/
•Guided Meditations:
http://marc.ucla.edu/mindful-meditations
ALTERNATIVE DRINKS:
▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪
•Overnight Cold Brew Iced Tea:
https://www.splendidtable.org/story/you-can-cold-brew-iced-tea-while-you-sleep
•Mocktail Recipes:
https://www.allrecipes.com/recipes/1822/drinks/mocktails/
https://www.foodandwine.com/cocktails-spirits/mocktails
https://www.townandcountrymag.com/leisure/drinks/how-to/g785/best-mocktail-recipes/
APPS:
▪▪▪▪
•Daybreak iOS link. A Deakin University study of hundreds of health apps found that Daybreak is one of only four that have proven effective and provide quality assistance.
•Dry Days by AlcoChange iOS is for those who want to cut down or cut out the booze throughout the year, while seeing the impact it has on your health and wallet.
•nomo - Sobriety Clocks iOS - In addition to an alcohol clock and monetary savings this app lets you check in and do a sobriety exercise if you're tempted, and connect with accountability partners.
•Sobriety Counter - Stop Drinking (Sobriety Counter - EasyQuit pro version) Android- Provides health stats, money saved, games to distract you, motivational tips, and several other features
BOOKS:
▪▪▪▪
•The Naked Mind by Annie Grace
•Alcohol Lied to Me by Craig Beck
•Rational Recovery by Jack Trimpey
•The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray
•The Liars Club, Cherry, and Lit by Mary Karr (3 different publications)
•Kick the Drink...Easily by Jason Vale
•Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp
•Being Sober: A Step-by-Step Guide to Getting To, Getting Through, and Living in Recovery by Harry Haroutunian
•The Easy, Illustrated Way to Quit Drinking by Alan Carr
•Alcohol Explained by William Porter
Credit and thanks to the MFP Less Alcohol One Day at a Time participants
For their willingness to share their insights and resourcefulness in finding this information
0
Replies
-
What a great introduction, Miss May. I have just made a commitment to myself to have at least 2 AF days a week. I enjoyed the challenge of Dry July & did it without much effort, but then settled back into a couple of glasses of wine at the end of the day most days in August. I'm ready to drink less. I will check out some of the resources listed above. That is a great list, thank you!4
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Welcome to September everyone.
There has been such a wonderful continued support system from all our long time, recent and brand new contributors. It goes to show us we are NOT alone with our need to reduce alcohol in our lives, for a variety of reasons. I appreciate all the time you put into sharing your own experinces and encouragement to others.
We also have September birthdays coming up ( @dawnbgethealthy ) like I would ever forget! No way!
Right out of the gate I am putting up my standard drinks poster as a visual aid to see what 1 drink looks like. ( NO it is not a filled to the rim, over flowing glass.....LOL)
3 -
Sticking with my regular goals since they still challenge me! LOL
Remember how hard it used to be? It's easier today than it was a year ago, and it will be a lot easier a year from today as long as I keep practicing my skills and don't give up.
* Primary goal in 2021: Do not drink to excess when drinking. This is most important to me personally … don’t go over 2 drinks in a night.
* Secondary goal this year: Strive for 12-16 AF days per month.
* Monitoring: Aim to drink no more than 2 nights in a row.
8 -
Back at it for September! I did pretty well for August, 6 AF and when I drank, I was really good about keeping to one drink, with just a few exceptions. This weekend is Labor Day weekend (already!) and I have lots of activities planned, so I need to stick to no more than two each weekend day.7
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My goal.....drink only once a week and no more than two drinks! Trying again!8
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Its been awhile since I posted. When I started posting in this group, I was going through some personal issues and some of you might remember. Alcohol was a major cause for the issues between me and the wife, it got bad and we were in kind of separation for the past 6 month albeit under the same roof due to kids and financial reasons and the D word even came up. However, I quit my daily drinking back in March and even did a 75 day stint without alcohol. Started healthy habits - working out, running (ran my first 10K) and had the support of a lot of friends. Got so much inspiration from this group. However, this past week she said she is ready to give us another chance. She is the love of my life, high school sweetheart, my soulmate and I nearly lost her. Anyway plan on continuing with the reduced alcohol and limit the number of drinks when I do drink and continue to be inspired all of y'all in here. Thank you for the support and inspiration as we start on this road to recovery with a positive first step.23
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@dethstar77 That is some powerful testimony right there. The way you express your feelings is really touching. Thank you for sharing that. So happy for you that you were able to turn things around. I'm wishing you all good things as you press on!9
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Lilylady3k wrote: »Sticking with my regular goals since they still challenge me! LOL
Remember how hard it used to be? It's easier today than it was a year ago, and it will be a lot easier a year from today as long as I keep practicing my skills and don't give up.
* Primary goal in 2021: Do not drink to excess when drinking. This is most important to me personally … don’t go over 2 drinks in a night.
* Secondary goal this year: Strive for 12-16 AF days per month.
* Monitoring: Aim to drink no more than 2 nights in a row.
I really like the way you framed this. My goal is still challenging for me, too, but it is so, so much easier than it used to be. And honestly, I think I actually *enjoy* occasions where wine is being poured more now than when I was more focused on the wine itself (and keeping up, getting my fair share). There is a certain freedom to caring less.
The most important thing to me personally is also not drinking to excess on occasions where there is drinking. I'm unsure how to frame my goals for the next 2 months, as I will be traveling 4 weeks mid-Sept to mid-Oct and another 1 week at the end of Oct. It's a little overwhelming to think about in totality, but one way to simplify is just what you said -- not to drink to excess. Another way is to take it one day at a time. Looking at the day-by-day plan in September, it's not that complicated and my past goals are workable. I'll worry about October another day.
M-Th AF (with one exception for an event 9/20)
F-Su 2 drink max8 -
September goals:
-track drinks daily
-track AF days get in at least 22 days AF
4 -
https://altamirarecovery.com/what-do-i-do-if-my-husband-cant-stop-drinking/
@Lilylady3k - I just googled "how to help your spouse stop drinking" and this site popped up. I don't know this program but read through the section about enabling and it made logical sense.
My spouse slid back after making such good progress and I am starting to follow him (feels like Monkey-see, Monkey-do). This helps me realize I need to follow my own path, achieve success, and let him see that so he can gain motivation to follow and do the same.
6 -
For the month of September my goal is be AF 22 out of 30 days. And limit to no more than 7 drinks per week following current guidelines for women.6
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@dethstar77, thank you for sharing and I'm very inspired by your story. I'm coming out of 'Alcohol-free August' and while I'm proud of myself, I had two other dry months earlier this Year, and my pattern has been to go right back to daily over-consumption. It's as if I tell myself 'see, I can do it, so it must not be a problem'. I want this time to be different, but I'm not sure what that looks like. Goal-setting will be key-- and while I can pick so many days per week or over the whole of the month to be AF, my challenge is limiting the number of drinks. Once that wine bottle is open, I see no reason not to finish it (all by myself).7
-
It is great to see so many posts so quickly!
@dethstar77 thank you for your honesty and sharing. I pray that you continue on your positive journey, but so far it looks like it is going very well!
@Lilylady3k I like your continued goals of when you do drink you do not drink to excess
I have to admit you all know August was not my best month but....my goal for September is when I do choose to drink it will not be in excess and it must be planned. No split decisions in the moment just 'cuz.
ok off for now but back later6 -
globalhiker wrote: »https://altamirarecovery.com/what-do-i-do-if-my-husband-cant-stop-drinking/
@Lilylady3k - I just googled "how to help your spouse stop drinking" and this site popped up. I don't know this program but read through the section about enabling and it made logical sense.
My spouse slid back after making such good progress and I am starting to follow him (feels like Monkey-see, Monkey-do). This helps me realize I need to follow my own path, achieve success, and let him see that so he can gain motivation to follow and do the same.
@globalhiker - Thank you for this info and understanding. I totally agree ... monkey-see monkey-do ... I grabbed a wine glass this evening out of habit but limiting it to one (hopefully).4 -
dethstar77 wrote: »Its been awhile since I posted. When I started posting in this group, I was going through some personal issues and some of you might remember. Alcohol was a major cause for the issues between me and the wife, it got bad and we were in kind of separation for the past 6 month albeit under the same roof due to kids and financial reasons and the D word even came up. However, I quit my daily drinking back in March and even did a 75 day stint without alcohol. Started healthy habits - working out, running (ran my first 10K) and had the support of a lot of friends. Got so much inspiration from this group. However, this past week she said she is ready to give us another chance. She is the love of my life, high school sweetheart, my soulmate and I nearly lost her. Anyway plan on continuing with the reduced alcohol and limit the number of drinks when I do drink and continue to be inspired all of y'all in here. Thank you for the support and inspiration as we start on this road to recovery with a positive first step.
@dethstar77 - Really appreciate you opening up and sharing your journey. I was wondering if we would hear from you this month ... and here you are. Good luck with renewing your relationship. DH & I were just talking the other day about how long we've been married (38 years) and the little ups and downs but how great it is to have someone to share our journey. ((HUGS))
You've been an inspiration on the drinking front!!! And on a glimpse that my own DH will find his path to less alcohol when he is ready too.4 -
September will be my 2nd month here.
I did really well in August and had 25 AF days ... Out of my 6 drinking days, I'd call 3 excessive
For that reason, I plan to be AF the whole of September and hoping being here will keep me accountable.
Just feel I need a complete break from alcohol and I really want to step up my weight loss goals which I know alcohol gets in the way of. So I am planning on having a complete reset, starting with September.
Wish me luck
For my record:
1/9 - AF9 -
Happy new month!
My goal for September is 20 AF days and no more than 2 standard drinks on drinking days (as displayed on @MissMays serving size graphic.)
I didn't do as well as I wanted to in August, but still way better than I was doing before July where I had a drink or 2 almost every day.
July 2021 totals: 16 AF of 31
August 2021 totals: 14 AF of 31
September accountability:
9/1 Drinks - 1 glass of wine7 -
I'm ready for September!
August totals: 25 AF of 31 - 6 drinking days with 2-3 wines
September goal: 22-24 AF days
9/1 - AF7 -
I started the month off at a disadvantage. Due to some special circumstances we ended up at our favorite sushi restaurant which meant I had sake. The equivalent of about two glasses of wine. I'll have to make up for it sometime this month.
Props to you @dethstar77 for making the effort to get your alcohol under control for your family.7 -
@MissMay
Big shout out to you for keeping us going
Thank you for all that you do!!
I am continuing with my usual goals, 16-20 AF days per month.
I had 18 last month, I have had as much as 23 a few times.
Being here with y'all gives me the accountability that I need and want.
I was a daily drinker at one time, and gradually moved it to my current goal which I have been able to uphold for quite some time.
I have no intention of becoming an abstainer. I enjoy my drinks, just less often, kind of like I have done with certain fattening foods.
I do plan my drinks days for the most part, but usually it is my schedule that dictates that. Trying not to have drinks when I work the following day.
Diary style is how I like to keep track here.
Wednesday September 01 - AF - Really felt like having drinks after working in the yard after work, but tomorrow after work (or my day off Friday, or both) is my planned drinks, so I didn't have any tonight.
Rolling Total - 1AF day out of 1 day.6 -
Started the month with 1 glass of wine with frozen pizza ... just not feeling like battling the weight nor planning food/drink. Completely gave in but kept it to one and did not let myself give in completely.
DH & I were feeling blah and his doc over virtual visit thinks he might have covid. We are vaccinated. Getting tested this morning.9 -
Sept 1: AF
I see the gang here off to a really good start. Keep that energy running strong !
Thought to self: don't let emotions drive my decisions and be the bully running my life; stop, reflect, and make all decisions based on sound logic.
7 -
Yeah Day 1 AF
But have a funny........Last night I was drinking my usual diet tonic and bitters over ice. DH was looking around the kitchen for his 'spirits'. Don't get me wrong he is very supportive of my journey but he still likes to have a few drinks during the week. It usually only consists of 1 shot in a cup of coffee. Well Tuesday night he left the bottle out so I just slipped it in a cabinet. Last night rolls around and he can't find his spirits and he is scratching his head then finally decided he must have drank what he had. Ha Ha I just neglected to tell him where it was at. oopsy. I was not being mean I just needed to not see the bottle on my first day of the month. I will leave it out to him on Friday when I will be at work.9 -
Happy new month!
My goal for September is 20 AF days and no more than 2 standard drinks on drinking days.
July 2021 totals: 16 AF of 31
August 2021 totals: 14 AF of 31
September 2021 running totals: 1 AF out of 2 days
September accountability:
9/1 Drinks - 1 glass of wine
9/2 AF
I really would like to get back to tracking food. Not sure why it is so hard right now. I was at my lowest weight since college right before the pandemic and have put 10 pounds back on (still a very healthy BMI, but the vanity pounds need to go.)
Have a great Friday everyone!6 -
Rapid BinaxNOW covid home test was negative. Waiting on the PCR 2-5 day results. Tired, headache, etc ... must just be a regular old cold since Sunday. Doc prescribed Prednisone steroid pills for DH since he has breathing issues this week too.
AF this evening
September accountability: 1/2 days AF
Alcohol: 1 days (1 drinks)5 -
@MissMay
Big shout out to you for keeping us going<3
Thank you for all that you do!!
I am continuing with my usual goals, 16-20 AF days per month.
I had 18 last month, I have had as much as 23 a few times.
Being here with y'all gives me the accountability that I need and want.
I was a daily drinker at one time, and gradually moved it to my current goal which I have been able to uphold for quite some time.
I have no intention of becoming an abstainer. I enjoy my drinks, just less often, kind of like I have done with certain fattening foods.
I do plan my drinks days for the most part, but usually it is my schedule that dictates that. Trying not to have drinks when I work the following day.
Diary style is how I like to keep track here.
Wednesday September 01 - AF - Really felt like having drinks after working in the yard after work, but tomorrow after work (or my day off Friday, or both) is my planned drinks, so I didn't have any tonight.
Thursday September 02 - 2 drinks. Possibly drinks tomorrow too, we'll see.
Rolling Total - 1AF day out of 2 days.5 -
August totals: 25 AF of 31 - 6 drinking days with 2-3 wines
September goal: 22-24 AF days
9/1 - AF
9/2 - AF5 -
September's 1st FRIDAY.
@Lilylady3k omgosh I am hoping your DH only has a common cold. My thoughts are with you while waiting those other test results.
@lmlmrn NOW THAT IS A FUNNY STORY. And no one was harmed in your little bottle caper. Think if it as a mind sharpening lesson for DH.
@dethstar77 that is a very powerful and moving post you have shared with us. With all the enormous efforts you have made to have less alcohol in your life and are making the changes you need to be the person you want to be for your family....huge applause and all the strength to keep it going in a positive direction.
If anyone here has been affected by the wrath of Mother Nature with her wind, fire or rain. Please take care and know you are receiving our thoughts and prayers.
September thus far
2 days out of 2 dry
Tough news:
My pup( 14 years young) is now in hospic at home after a trip to the veterinarian. All the more reason to NOT take a drink.
Enjoy the long holiday Labor Day weekend.
7 -
9/1 AF Wednesdays are usually drinking days but they were bringing a keg into work on thursday so....
9/2 A (4 drinks/5.3SD) Started at 430 at work then went out with a friend going through a rough patch.
9/3 We're having a going away happy hour for a coworker today. I plan to go and drink soda water, but we'll see. I'm really enjoying watching the numbers drop on the scale.
I'm still in the running for the job but they put me off until next Tuesday. Yesterday was a huge ball of anxiety waiting for the call and now I have to wait at least another 4 days, and my chances feel lower. Starting to look at/for other opportunities, and trying to focus on other things. Need to get some sun and some exercise this weekend.6 -
@MissMay I am so sorry to hear about your baby, my prayers go out to you for comfort
AF last night so that is 2/2 AF day. I plan to be AF for the next 4 days at least. Todays schedule not bad 2pm-10:30pm approx. But Sat 11am-10:30pm and Sun 11am to 9:30 pm...going to be some long nights.
Do any of you have any tricks up your sleeves to relieve that tickle in the back of your throat when you lay down to go to sleep? I have tried throat lozenges, humidifier, breathing in steaming salt water before bed. It usually starts after I have been prone for about 20 minutes and will keep up all night. If I resist the urge to cough then my nose gets stuff/runny and my eyes water.4
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