WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR OCTOBER 2021
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Vicki - hope the news is good at both your husband's appointments.
Thank you for the good wishes of those who asked - went to the surgeon first, and after checking things out (don't ask) he basically said that he won't do any form of surgery until the digestive issues and the afib get sorted out. While I understood the reasons, it was not easy to hear. He was very no-nonsense, which helped.
Saw my new primary care doc about four hours later, and my presumed half-hour appointment stretched out for two and a half hours. She went through every one of the medications I'm taking, and took a couple out of the roster after discussing them with me. She sent me off with consults for a local gastroenterologist and for a cardiologist. She can hear me, and I think she'll work with me. Some of my favorite people are aging hippies. So easy to talk to. She had beads in her hair, and round her neck, and was wearing a full-length dress. Frizzy hair down to her waist, and the hair, which basically had a mind of its own. Warm and empathetic, which I appreciated.
Hopeful, but trying not to be.
Later, y'all,
Love, Lisa13 -
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Barbara - we never get overtime. I have managed to get a bit of lieu time though. I wish they lived up to their Christian values.
Machka - my day can instantly get better if my husband gives me a hug. Or my grandkids or daughters.
Lisa - What a relief it must be to have your new doctor really listen and try to find answers for you.
Like you, I have not had to care for my parents, my Brother has taken it all on including our grandparents since he was 17. He will be 50 in February and finally after our Mom when into the home in 2017 decided to go back and finish the mechanics courses he dropped out of to care for everyone. His wife has cerebral palsy and I’m sure someday he’ll have to care for her too. Rodger’s parents have their youngest granddaughter living with them but they still do most things on their own. As a matter of fact, my Mil just recently stopped caring for seniors herself. She will be 77 in December.
Janet - I was a smoker from 13 - 41. I agree it is a terrible habit. My husband still smokes and I worry about him terribly, but I know that he is the only one that can decide to quit. My Dad died of lung cancer, I will never forget his last days and I don’t wish that on anyone.
Kim - I have stacked and thrown a lot of wood in my day. That is how my Grandfather and then brother paid taxes, by selling cord wood. It should be considered strength and cardio.
I hope your Mom’s cheque is deposited safely in the new account.
Vicki - I think you should be in a “no cell service” area until you are due to go back to work. You deserve a weekend off.
Hope your DH gets the answers and a treatment plan.
I went to Costco after work and ended up not getting home until almost 630. Then DH came home early at 730 instead of 930 because of the smoky air we are experiencing. There is a wildfire east of us in Saskatchewan.
Ceramics tomorrow night. I have to decide what to start painting first.
Tracey in Edmonton4 -
I have 5 days off!
But not entirely a break.
One of those days has 5 events on it and I have had or will have to prepare for most of them. I decided to take that day off because the logistics are going to be exhausting without going to work!
On most of the other days, however, I'm hoping to do things like ... walking, cycling, colouring, taking photos, watching DVDs and reading!
And sleeping. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep lots too.
M in Oz3 -
I never had to care for my parents either. My father died just before his 72nd birthday, of emphysema, from smoking most of his life. It was the most horrible death ( and life, for many years) and I never, ever, had any desire to smoke.
I chose to live some distance from my mother and she chose to live near my brother. My DSIL and her mother took most of the load in the last few years. I visited and stayed over after she had her heart bypass, but I could not have cared for her long term. Fortunately, she never needed full time care, other than care assistants visiting towards the end. She only took two weeks in hospital for her decline and death. I was there. COPD.
DH never did any caring and little visiting. We both had very ambivalent relationships with our parents.
I do envy those of you who really love, or loved, your parents. I 'loved' mine, but in a more complicated way, because of the family history. The upside of that was that I never felt obliged, or the urge, to be a carer for them. I think you have to love someone very, very much to do that. It has to be part of your 'spiritual' journey. A gift of love and an occasion of growth for you. So very, very hard.
I, like Lisa, really admire those of who who have taken on this path.
Love to all the carers. XOXO Heather UK
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"Get to do"s and "chose well"sChose well: BP, dogs to powerline, practiced WBW, DM, GDLL, SWTD, SL, 21/30 mins T’ai Chi, dog group.
Bonus: Post Office, St. Tim’s, Farmers’ Market, recycling.
Just one thing: charged the blue tooth speaker and used it to play the T’ai Chi recording from my phone.
Get to do: take BP, dogs to powerline, SWSY, practice WBW, DM, GDLL, SWTD, SL, dogs to GB shelter for nail trims, bank to pick up usb drive and make deposit, then backup files, then call pc guy to schedule tuneup, text C, fire district: research NFPA, grant NIMS requirements, input 2019 call sheets into NFIRS, work with chief on equipment letter, substance abuse policy, NFIRS mutual aid and other missing details, likewise Lee skills/tasks, ask for boots donator contact info, appreciation letter or certificate to boots donator, index mutual aid files; watch STAS Day 20, declutter sideboard, learn new dances (Tequila Little Time, Homesick, Nothing but You, A Little Less Broken, Blame it on my beating heart, Do Your Thing, practice dances: All Night, TGIF, I ain’t never gonna love nobody but Cornell Crawford (Alley cat), One Margarita, I’m so used to being broke); finish mulching flowerbed, invest another 10 minutes in prepping living trust, Freddie’s for complete series TDAP <$48, get Shingrix vaccine, find and configure a screen time popup, figure out where to plant the last of the naked lady bulbs, and soon as it warms up above 50 and dries out below 60% humidity I’ll tape and spray paint those rusted areas of Aunt Elsie’s stove, ask Te about GB’s FD firetruck tax levy – contacts, media, advocate???, Sunday: call S, Reward: inventory seeds, plan this fall’s garden, wishlist replenishments (Milena F1 orange peppers and beit alpha cukes next year).
Reminder: Weekly: Mon=15 mins SWSY. Tues=30 mins line dance at home. Wed=30 mins T’ai Chi & 1 hr pack walk. Thurs=15 mins BB&B. Fri=30 mins T’ai Chi. Sat=1 hr pack walk. Sun=15 mins pilates, yoga or wii balance games.
October
7: Look for the good in people around you today=
One thing that can instantly make my day better is Joe obviously choosing the brighter, lighter path. His default position is contrary and negative, so seeing him choose otherwise is always a real boost, and an inspiration to do likewise ;}
Julie I “. . .find noisy crowds tiring . . ” too and avoided them even before the pandemic.
Janetr ((hugs)) for Jack’s scary news. You’ve had a lot on your plate. ((hugs))
Rebecca good luck with the new pre-sleep habits.
Kim 4 hours on phone with Social Security, you deserve a medal! MFP has an entry for “Chopping wood” think that would be close…
Vicki Fingers X’d for answers from your DH’s doctors.
Machka congrats on taking off those 4.5 kg!
Lisa hoping the combination of no-nonsense surgeon and warm, empathetic, able-to-hear-you, ageing hippie, primary care physician are the rx you’ve been needing. Really hope you don’t have to wait long for the gastro and cardio consultations. Fingers Xd.
Tracey :sad: when Christian values take a backseat to monetary ones.
your “no cell service” suggestion to Vicki!
Heather, like you and Lisa, I really admire the caregivers on this thread. Mama took care of Papa for the 17 years he was wheelchair-bound. She was able to be on her own until the last few months of her life, when she moved in with us. I was able to work from home, but Joe really was the carer, reading her the newspaper, even helping her into the bathroom. Joe’s mother lived far away, near his sisters. His father was able to live on his own until he needed assistance, then moved into the VA, but was frequently cared for by Joe’s SIL. We didn’t have children and the 2 years we fostered his three nephews were not successful.
Bank was closed today due “technical difficulties” - phone and computers out of service. Sign on door referred us to the city 30 miles to the south for customer service. Wouldn’t have helped, I wanted to get the backup usb out from our safety deposit box. Maybe tomorrow.
Lighter, lovelies!
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
October: leaner/stronger/kinder than September.2021: choose to be leaner/stronger/kinder NOW
daily: sit with Joe:6, weigh/wii: 6/1/15; steps>7228=8150 vits=6, log=6, CI<CO=6, CI<250<CO=4, Tumble=6, Shadow=7, mfp=6, outside=8, up hill=7, clean 10=13.
wkly: Sun:P, Y or W=1 , Mon:SWSY=.67 , Tue:LD=1 , Wed:TC=.67 , PW=1, Thurs: BB&B=, Fri:TC=, Sat:PW=1, rX x4=1.
wt=1/31:141.3 2/28:142.4 3/31:145.3 4/30:141.5 5/31:142.4 6/30:141.5 7/31:140.2 8/31:140.0 9/30:141.2 10/3:141.3 10/10: 10/17: 10/24: 10/31:
mnthly: board mtg= , grant=, plan=, waist=42.
bonus: AF=4, play= sew=
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Morning folks. Just taking a few minutes to touch base with y'all.
Machka: <> here's hoping that you manage to get all those self-care activities done. Congrats on the weight loss.
Lisa: <> it must be a joy to have a new doctor who actually listens to you.
Kim: <> I hope that you get your moms finances sorted out to your satisfaction.
We have been lucky in that both our sets of parents etc were reasonably compos mentos right up to the end. My mother died in her late 40s of a sudden heart failure, and my father eventually moved into sheltered housing. I made sure that he had what he needed, but he was very independent right up until his death after a short illness at 81. Cantankerous at times, but I loved them so I didn't mind. They had cared for me as well as they were able, and I was happy to play it forward. My inlaws lived in their own home. FiL died in his late 70s from lung cancer. MiL stayed in the family home. DH worked close by and visited her every lunch time and she came to us regularly for weekend dinners, and on holidays with us. No physical care was needed except for a short period after DMiL broke a hip in a fall, and we persuaded her to stay with us when she was discharged from hospital. We had thought that might be permanent, but she agitated to return to her home, and insisted on going into residential care when she was unable to continue to manage, where she lived to a ripe old age of 95. I was with her when she died. She was very good to me and I loved her dearly.
😂 Now we are the elders in our tribe, it's amusing to see the roll reversal at times. I know our girls worry, so I try not to burden them too much with the minutiae of our aging, and take their concerns as a sign of their caring.
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Yes, Terri, I'm always brought up short when I realise my younger son sees me as an elderly person!
I don't see myself that way! In my head I'm still young.
DDIL said she admired me the other day, and I think she meant that she thought it was amazing that I had taken to posting on Instagram in my old age.
There was also a fleeting discussion about my hair colour the other day. I had the faint feeling that my son thought I was too old for blonde.
Well, I will continue to be a natural blonde of young years as long as I can. :laugh:
I just wish my legs didn't ache so much. Grrrrrr!
Did some good editing this morning, filling in some gaps. They were bothering me, because I wasn't sure how to crowbar them in.
I also managed to add up the Amazon payments for my previous memoir for my tax return. I have to add them up month by month, because the US tax year is different to ours. I've got to do the return by the end of the month. I also updated my LinkedIn profile.
Progress!
Waitrose delivery this afternoon. Waiting for fennel and leeks to cook with creme fraiche with salmon. Yum!
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx2 -
cityjaneLondon wrote: »I also updated my LinkedIn profile.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
Me too ... just this week, I updated my LinkedIn profile.
Completely unexpectedly, last week I was contacted about a job through LinkedIn. I exchanged several messages and went through a mini telephone interview, and then formally applied for the job.
Will I get it? Who knows.
Do I want it? Not sure.
I have done a lot of that type of work - years! I do like it. But in the past few years I've kind of moved away from that into something else. I'm not 100% sure if going back there is the direction I want to go.
Anyway, I figured I should at least update my CV on LinkedIn. It was a CV I loaded in May ... now it's October's "new and improved" CV.
M in Oz
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Good morning all! Happy Thursday! I am officially on vacation! I stayed up late (for me) last night (until 11:30pm) and slept horribly because I was so excited that I had today off. Like a small child waiting for Christmas, I woke up every hour and checked the clock to see if it was time to get up. I finally gave up sleeping at about 3:30 am. lol I have the brain of a toddler and big FOMO. I threw yoga pants and a sweatshirt on over my pjs, slipped on big fuzzy socks. I made coffee and took it outside and just sat under the stars until the sun came up. It was glorious! I guess that also kind of answers Machka's question: Getting to know you question ...
What's one thing that can instantly make your day better?
Being outside. Sometimes all it takes is just sitting in the driveway and looking at stars. If I am outside in the morning, my mood for the day is better. From my yard in the early morning, I can see stars, I can hear owls hooting back and forth at times, I can hear the birds begin to wake and sing, I can see the early morning walkers and runners go by and give them a wave/greeting,...it is just wonderful to be outside in the morning while the world is waking up.
We had a notary come to our house last night to sign/notarize some papers. What should have taken only 15 minutes took over an hour. My anti-social hubby and this woman had auto immune issues in common. lol She was a very nice woman, a bit older than us, working as a notary and caring for her husband who has Parkinsons. She mentioned to Tim that being a notary might be something he could do to earn some money. So he is looking into that. She works for a company, that fields "orders" for notaries and then puts the request out to whomever in their pool can take it. They get paid based on how many orders that they take. She said she works about 30 hours a week and makes enough to pay for their insurance, basic needs, plus a little for savings. Tim is seriously considering it. Which I am happy for. It does mean that I will have to hire an assistant; but if it means Tim gets a boost in his confidence and self worth, I have no problem with it!
On aging parents- My older sister (who was at that time a SAHM) was the primary caregiver to my mom in those last couple of months of cancer. After my mom passed, one of my older brothers (who was divorced) moved in with my dad to kind of keep an eye on him. So, when my dad had his heart attack six months later, brother was there to care for him afterwards. But he never recovered and passed away a week later. AT age 26, I was in denial that my parents were even sick enough to die. In my brain, I just couldn't conceive of either of them dying. So, I was of very little help. When my MiL began to have health problems, back in about 2010. I began weekly visits and sometimes weekend over night stays to help care for her when needed. I was in my early forties, my kids were in college/high school and didn't need me around so much AND having lost my parents, I knew the personal mental price of not being there for your aging parents. Tim's brothers, three of whom lived just a couple of miles away from their mother, were "too busy" to help. I didn't mind. It felt a bit cathartic to help MiL, and we developed a close bond because of it. In her later years, especially the year before she passed. She was suffering from dementia. She would get her sons confused with other people, she would not remember their wives; but she always knew me and my children/grandchild. The dementia was hard for all of us, though. When she began to leave the house in the middle of the night and we would find her wandering outside "trying to get home". THAT was what convinced her husband that she needed to be in a care unit. We found one that she liked. It was run my a local convent and had many activities to keep the residents busy. But she passed away just a couple of months after moving in. *sigh* It is so hard. AND you can't really help anyone and say "this is what you should do" because every elderly person is different with different needs. So SO hard!
Anyway, I need to make myself a smoothie. The coffee feels like it is eating a hole in my stomach! ttfn xoxoxo KJ (Kelly)
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Morning peeps
Forgot to mention that during our trip I figured thyi would gain some weight and I would be okay with that. I was expecting like 5 lbs more, no big I knew I would loose it but I came back and I only gained .6 lbs, just a bit over 1/2 lb, so relieved and surprised. I already lost it.
Today no walk with yogi,” they are going to come work on the front patio!3 -
Hi Gals,
Wood – and MFP chopping wood is SO much harder than stacking it, I used to chop much of my fire wood, but decided it wasn’t worth it and then a friend with property offered me wood if I would help pay for the log splitter so I get ¾ of a cord of wood for $20 each winter and that’s my contribution to the log splitter LOL a cord is usually over $400. Thank goodness for friends. I stacked about 1/2 of it yesterday and the rest will be done over the next few days.
Pip – what a great trip bonus! I am sure you were active playing and walking with yogi
Debbie – I wondered if you ever dry pears in your dehydrator. I got given a bunch of pears and most of my recipes are for pear deserts – I’ll make a bit of pear apple sauce, but I love dried pears – I did a couple of trays of them and they are ok, but wondered if you had any hints. I peeled /cored, and sliced them then put them into a water/lemon juice mixture they taste good, but dehydrated into such small pieces….. I’m wondering if halves would work…
Kim in N. California
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answerbananasandoranges wrote: »bananasandoranges wrote: »B has told me that she is always unhappy with him and always unwelcoming to and about his friends
I've heard that line before!
I'm not sure what you mean. I've known B for well over a decade and through 3 girlfriends, each lasting a few years. I think he's faithful to them. For sure I've met her before at gatherings - including a few weeks ago at her family party - her mom and sister were quite friendly but again she barely said hi - he only had 2 friends there- I suppose he invited a couple of others but they declined (maybe partly in relation to unwarm welcome)?- and this time I said hi and she didn't respond - reminded me of a sullen teen or shy toddler who can be bothered to say hi. For me that's the minium, if people can't say hi back to people they are to interact with I find them not polite.Oh ... when I separated from my first husband, all sorts came out of the woodwork with lines about how their wives/partners were unhappy with them and the relationship was unhappy and they were sure their wives/partners were about to leave, thus rendering them free to date. Or another similar one I just loved was the one where their wives/partners and they had "an arrangement" so that they could see other people. There are all sorts of similar variations.
It just means that the guy is bored and looking for a little "excitement".
Also, personally, I can understand his partner's point of view. I'm not fond of going out to work (I'd prefer to work from home) and when I come home, I don't like dealing with people outside my family. In fact, these days, I turn on the TV when I get home, change into my comfy clothes, and colour for about half an hour with minimal talking. Then I might be ready to deal with stuff.
M in OzI think there is a misunderstood through the web, this post about the nature of this relation. We've been freins for ages. we have both been single plenty and gone jogging together, lived 5 min from one another, etc etc etc, but we are just buddies. Had we wanted to "get together" we had ample opportunity. It's just not that way.
I can understand about not being happy to have someone over in the evening -by surprise - but I can't get behind not saying hello to someone you know who's an old friend of your SO. Nope! minimum politeness is a must. and if she's not happy w him she doesn't need to take it out on me.
It's seems women-solidarity-ish to back her up. I actually did say to him it's not big deal and I wouldn't like it if someone just popped up at the end of the day either... but not saying hello at all, not great. Some people are just mean to (suspicious of) single women. of course I am not a fan of those people.3 -
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Barbara, yes about crowds, agreed. though I admit I have someone enjoyed some protests pre covid which were full of folk. how nice of you to have taken care of her for the last months.
Terri that's such a young age for your mom to go.0 -
Health
I had another skin growth removed today!You remember I had squamous cell cancer on the neck. I had bump removal (w biopsy) in office in late June, and received the diagnosis in July and had 2nd removal at the hospital in early august. I felt this wierd bump in the small of my lower back these days that had the same wierd texture and size and growth as the neck one. Due the place I wasn't sure (I surely have not gotten a ton of sun in the small of my back.(about as low as possible without being bum area). So, as suggested I sent a mail to the dermatologist last night with a description and a not very clear photo (stretching around to snap it w cell phone!) Got a call at 8:30 is saying she couldn't tell but gave me an appointment for 3pm today (for regular appointments her next availability was for January). It was doable. She said it looks a lot like what I had in June on the next so she removed it and put it in liquid to send off to the lab. If it's again positive I need to get an ultrasound of my lymph nodes again. This time of armpit nodes and groin nodes! And then back to the hospital for a big chunk (she took 1mm edge whereas the hospital will take about 5mm edge and a bit deeper.). Trying to take it in stride. weird as yesterday I was just talking really lightly about it as no big deal, relatively speaking. A bit stressful though, even if only in passing. The young dermatologist said that she knows a guy "younger than you" who "has less invasive versions than you" but who gets new skin cancer every 6 months.Feel like sleeping and probably will.
Right now I am SO tired. I think getting that news made me feel plum exhausted, suddenly, even if only in passing. I'm chilled (often happens with stress for me) and would like to take a bath but have to wait a good week before being able to immerse self. that was not an issue when it was on the neck. I remember reading that people had 58% of getting a 2nd one within 2 years and then that those with a 2nd one have 90% of getting more. So NOT thrilled with that. nor with the location (on lower back where I have very little sun). I have to change bandages every day and schedule for a person to take the 2 stitches out. I feel like I just barely got over that stuff.
My neighbour who I'm not close to asked me to check her mail and let her know if something important has arrived.5 -
Skipping our morning walk with yogi, since they are here 7am sharp, can’t wait 2c how it turns out. These are the before pics..
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