Less Alcohol ~ FEBRUARY 2022 ~ One Day At A Time

MissMay

Do you want to drink LESS? Then join us in drinking LESS (whatever that means for you) One Day At A Time, as we continue to support and learn from each other.

▪MFP LESS ALCOHOL ONE DAY AT A TIME RESOURCE & GENERAL INFORMATION LIST▪

USING THIS THREAD:
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•Join us at any time.
•Set your own goal - this thread is about drinking less and you decide what that means to you.
•There are no scheduled check-ins - post as often or as little as you want or need.
•AF is an acronym for Alcohol Free. For others commonly used on this site see - https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1069278/acronyms-and-terms-for-new-mfp-members-v-6/p1
•To follow this thread easily, bookmark it by clicking on the star at the top right of this thread.
•Remember that we are here for you and care about you. Check in with us when you have time and let us know what you need!

TIPS & OBSERVATIONS FROM OUR USERS:
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•Getting Started or Starting Over.
•Some people find it easier to set small attainable goals at the beginning to help boost confidence.
•If you have been drinking daily the first days will be some of the hardest and drinking again will feel like a cure but it delays the relief that only time can provide.
•There will always be a reason to delay the start/restart of your journey.
•For those ready to commit to being alcohol-free permanently, the videos on YouTube by Craig Beck will help. He also has a program you can join.
•You may experience mood swings and anxiety during your first two weeks. It is suggested you try and focus on the benefits of your goal.
•Cravings are said to last only 6 minutes, so find something to distract you like arming yourself with alternatives: tea, mock-tails, activities, etc.
•You may find that filling the time you drink with other activities like exercise or hobbies can be a helpful distraction.
•If you find them tempting try and avoid events/outings that will have drinking for a time.
•Don't let pride or shame keep you from asking for the help you need.
•Sometimes talking it out or posting your thoughts/feelings/struggles may help you work things out for yourself.
•It is okay that you don't always have all the answers.
•Some days will be easier than others.
•You may have initial/increased sugar cravings.
•You should never take a day that you have lived up to your goals for granted.
•Celebrate the smaller victories too. Less alcohol is still less alcohol even if your goal was zero at that moment.
•Once you begin sticking to your goals for one day to many days you should believe you are capable of the same and more because you are.
•Failure is not giving in and drinking. Failure is to stop trying to accomplish your goals.
•Annie Grace (This Naked Mind author) has a free program on her website (https://www.alcoholexperiment.com/) called the 30 day experiment which can be joined anonymously.

Life with Less Alcohol:
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•It can be helpful to educate yourself with books and web research (Some suggested books and links listed below).
•There is no benefit to comparing yourself to others because this is a personal journey.
•You may often feel conflicted. You will know that there are numerous real benefits to sticking to your goal while at the same time think that alcohol is an important part of stress relief, relaxation, celebration, etc.
•You may feel punished by not drinking or drinking less but that feeling usually fades with time.
•Sometimes drinking less or quitting will strain friendships that centered around alcohol.
•Having a list of reasons to stick to your goals handy for yourself can be helpful. Some lists have included remembering how bad it feels to have a hangover, excess/unwanted calories, having a racing heart during the night, sleeplessness, anxiety, and depression.
•It is a good idea to have a plan for how you might deal with various tempting scenarios before engaging in a social situation.
•Self-Reflection is an important part of the journey. Once we figure out why we drink we can hopefully use that information to form new habits and make better and more mindful decisions.
•Sometimes doing something nice for yourself like a little reward for a success makes the journey easier.
•You will see many helpful suggestions and ideas that work for some people. However, finding what tactics work for you may involve some trial and error.
•It is not uncommon for certain activities that were once combined with alcohol to trigger temptation. Many have said that outdoor activities in warmer weather made alcohol very tempting.
•Many that have spent time with no alcohol after drinking again realized that it doesn't enhance experiences like they once believed it did. Some have said they no longer like the taste.
•Don't forget how sticking to your goal has made your life better and remember it to motivate you again if you fall off your path.
•If you begin drinking daily again whether planned like a vacation or unplanned you may once again face a struggle to get it under control.
•For some people it is easier to not drink than it is to moderate drinking. Others have found moderating impossible.

Reported Benefits of Less or No Drinking: (Results may be incremental, and/or they may vary)
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•Improved sleep after 2,4,7,10,& 60 days
•Improved skin/complexion after 10 days
•Improved ease in weight loss. Not only from the savings of alcohol calories but some report making poor food choices after drinking.
•Increased energy after as few as 2 days
•Increase in other fun activities. Some have found that daily drinking became their main recreational activity and their world was decreased in size.
•Increased productivity
•Reduction of high blood pressure
•Lower resting heart rate
•Less Acid Re-flux
•Significant financial savings
•More creativity
•More productivity
•Better relationships with family

When Alcohol Is Used for Avoidance:
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•We drink to ease the stress of the working day, to avoid it.
•We drink to avoid anxiety in social situations.
•We drink to avoid making decisions about not drinking.
•The Takeaway on Avoidance, our problems don't go away if we avoid them. We need to learn to face them.
•Having a clear head makes our problems seem much smaller.
•Having a clear head makes problems easier to solve.

How to Be Kind to "Tomorrow You":
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•Instead of lumbering with guilt, headaches, and poor nutrition hangovers in the morning, Think of think how nice it would be not to feel that way tomorrow.
•Worry about "me" and don't let "tomorrow Me" feel awful.
•Instead of thinking alcohol is something nice to have *now*, think of *NOT drinking* as something nice we can do for the person we are when we awaken in the morning.
•Do you bank calories for a festive occasion? (Handy tactic) We can bank a good mood for when we wake up.
•We need to have sympathy for "Tomorrow You" and be kind to her/him.
•Don't look at a day without alcohol as a punishment for being bad or having no willpower.
•Not drinking is a lovely, sympathetic gesture towards the person we are now, and whom we will wake up as.
•You’d be kind to a stranger. Be kind to "Tomorrow You".

LINKS:
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•Mydrinkaware:
https://www.mydrinkaware.co.uk

•A Sharing Site for Women:
http://www.drinkingdiaries.com/about/

•General Information/Blog Sites:
https://thesoberschool.com/
http://www.hipsobriety.com/
https://joinclubsoda.co.uk/
https://thisnakedmind.com/blog/
https://alcoholmastery.com/blog/

•Sobriety Blog:
http://mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.com/

•The Thirty Day Experiment:
https://www.alcoholexperiment.com/

•Ten Things That Helped Me Quit Booze:
https://unpickledblog.com/2017/01/04/replacement-behaviours-ten-things-that-helped-me-kick-booze/?wref=tp

•The Neuroscience Behind How We Make Decisions:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201505/the-neuroscience-making-decision

•Summary of Book on Addiction:
https://drgabormate.com/book/in-the-realm-of-hungry-ghosts/

•Article on the Difference Between Being an Alcoholic and Really Liking to Drink:
https://www.self.com/story/alcoholic-or-just-really-like-to-drink

•To the Mom questioning her drinking habits:
http://www.scarymommy.com/questioning-drinking-habits/

•Guided Meditations:
http://marc.ucla.edu/mindful-meditations

ALTERNATIVE DRINKS:
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•Overnight Cold Brew Iced Tea:
https://www.splendidtable.org/story/you-can-cold-brew-iced-tea-while-you-sleep

•Mocktail Recipes:
https://www.allrecipes.com/recipes/1822/drinks/mocktails/
https://www.foodandwine.com/cocktails-spirits/mocktails
https://www.townandcountrymag.com/leisure/drinks/how-to/g785/best-mocktail-recipes/

APPS:
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•Daybreak iOS link. A Deakin University study of hundreds of health apps found that Daybreak is one of only four that have proven effective and provide quality assistance.
•Dry Days by AlcoChange iOS is for those who want to cut down or cut out the booze throughout the year, while seeing the impact it has on your health and wallet.
•nomo - Sobriety Clocks iOS - In addition to an alcohol clock and monetary savings this app lets you check in and do a sobriety exercise if you're tempted, and connect with accountability partners.
•Sobriety Counter - Stop Drinking (Sobriety Counter - EasyQuit pro version) Android- Provides health stats, money saved, games to distract you, motivational tips, and several other features

BOOKS:
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•Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol
by Holly Whitaker
•The Naked Mind by Annie Grace
•Alcohol Lied to Me by Craig Beck
•Rational Recovery by Jack Trimpey
•The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray
•The Liars Club, Cherry, and Lit by Mary Karr (3 different publications)
•Kick the Drink...Easily by Jason Vale
•Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp
•Being Sober: A Step-by-Step Guide to Getting To, Getting Through, and Living in Recovery by Harry Haroutunian
•The Easy, Illustrated Way to Quit Drinking by Alan Carr
•Alcohol Explained by William Porter


Credit and thanks to the MFP Less Alcohol One Day at a Time participants
For their willingness to share their insights and resourcefulness in finding this information
~Established 2017~

MissMay

MissMay

Throughout my life, alcohol was important to all things: from family dinners, weddings and BBQs to holiday get-togethers, work events, birthday parties, and impromptu catch-ups with neighbors. It was only when I began drinking less that I realized how many social occasions revolve around booze. It’s everywhere. Or at least it was for me, a heavy drinker whose social world revolved around…heavy drinking. Going from that to not drinking as much, I had no idea what to expect and I feared the worst.

During the beginning of cutting back, the fear of losing that security blanket was a main reason for not going out. I won’t lie: I was anxious and uncomfortable a lot at social events in the early days, so I had to act like everything was cool. I still have the occasional awkward moment when I walk into a party and ask for a non alcohilic beverage, but as my confidence in my decision grew, they were few and far between.

So if you think your social life will end because your thinking about cutting back and drinking less, it won't. It may even increase.

Xellercin

MissMay wrote: »

Throughout my life, alcohol was important to all things: from family dinners, weddings and BBQs to holiday get-togethers, work events, birthday parties, and impromptu catch-ups with neighbors. It was only when I began drinking less that I realized how many social occasions revolve around booze. It’s everywhere. Or at least it was for me, a heavy drinker whose social world revolved around…heavy drinking. Going from that to not drinking as much, I had no idea what to expect and I feared the worst.

During the beginning of cutting back, the fear of losing that security blanket was a main reason for not going out. I won’t lie: I was anxious and uncomfortable a lot at social events in the early days, so I had to act like everything was cool. I still have the occasional awkward moment when I walk into a party and ask for a non alcohilic beverage, but as my confidence in my decision grew, they were few and far between.

So if you think your social life will end because your thinking about cutting back and drinking less, it won't. It may even increase.

Totally agree. My social life is better now that I don't drink because I find just sitting around with people while they drink to be incredibly boring.

So instead, I take the initiative to plan interesting things. As a result, my friendships are more fun and engaging. Socializing for me just doesn't consist of sitting around with beverages anymore. We do stuff, we go for walks/hikes, we see outdoor concerts, we go to art galleries, take a fun class, whatever.

I've also firmly embraced drinking as just not cool anymore, so I feel absolutely no embarrassment asking for a non alcoholic option. I order a non alcoholic beer at a bar with the same pride that a hipster ordered an Aperol spritz in 2017...I don't know what the latest Instagram cocktail is, so I can't be more current with my reference. Lol

My social world was pretty heavy drinking, and there are definitely friends I don't see as often, mostly because they don't want to do anything other than sit around and drink, so they don't invite me because my sobriety makes them uncomfortable.

However, a shocking number of my friends, it turns out, only drank heavily with me. I was the bad influence. So a lot of them are perfectly happy pivoting with me.

I still do sometimes end up at events where it's just people sitting around drinking, but that's not all the time, so it's fine when it happens, and it's usually people I don't get to see too often. So I don't mind now and then. They LOVE that I'm sober because I offer to be designated driver.

tracy042

I'm in for l less alcohol in February! I don't have any problem not drinking when I'm out, the problem is sitting home and drinking for reward once my day is done. So I will just drink less😊

sfharvey07

I would like to join you guys this month! I will try to post on a weekly basis for accountability. My goal is to change my habits and relationship with certain beverages and foods (wine and chocolate 😬). For the month of February, I’m definitely aiming for less alcohol days, maybe once a week vs 2 glasses Thursday-Sunday 🤦🏻‍♀️. I’ve read several posts from the January thread and everyone seems very encouraging and non judgmental, something I feel I need right now😊

dawnbgethealthy

@sfharvey07

Great that you are joining us : - )

dawnbgethealthy

I am in, with my usual goal: 16-20AF days per month.

tmbg1

Here we go, February:
Feb 1- AF

globalhiker

I'm in for February! Welcome newcomers! May February be your big success month!

My goal for Feb. is to get my work-life balance in order. @looneycatblue thanks for your prior comment, glad to see I'm not alone

I may even add a make-over to the to-do list. Send the Fab 5 over please....I need all of it.... new clothes, a tan, new earrings...hair color...heck I haven't set foot in a mall in a few years maybe this is why!

I'm not setting any drinking or not-drinking targets this month. Allowing myself non-AF days can easily creep up into becoming "all you can drink" days for me, so not good.

MissMay

WELCOME to February!

And a very happy hello to @sfharvey07 and @tracy042.

If you have followed us in past months or this is your first time joining in we ALL start over the first day of each month. Fresh and ready to help ourselves and each other.

A big wave to everyone sliding on over from the January thread. Can you believe how fast that month flew by? In exactly 4 Tuesdays it will be MARCH. February is only 28 short days. We can do this!

Lilylady3k

Remember how hard it used to be? It's easier today than it was a year ago, and it will be a lot easier a year from today as long as I keep practicing my skills and don't give up.

Primary goal in 2022: Do not drink to excess when drinking. This is most important to me personally … don’t go over 2 drinks in a night.'

Secondary goal this year: Strive for 12-16 AF days per month.

Monitoring:

• Aim to drink no more than 2 nights in a row.
• Make sure drinks fit into available calories.
• Don’t let drinking lead to snacking.

cowgirlslikeus86

I’m in again for February!

My goal is again to “Drink less”. My birthday is this weekend but I don’t think I am gonna drink anything but an Athletic AF IPA. I would really like to stay on track to only drink when an occasion actually calls for it. Like once a month.

Being AF in January lead To a whole slew of healthy changes for me.
- I was more successful on my weight loss journey (-20lbs)
- I go to bed earlier and get up earlier
- I am much more active and now do yoga 4-6 days a week
- I never wake up with a sense of dread at 3am. Instead, I wake up at 4am get up, and get productive.
- My mom joined in with me and now ,because of it, my sister and her husband inadvertently drink less
- I spend less $$
- I have almost zero anxiety
- I am more productive and my dog gets more exercise
- I have more confidence

I could keep going :-) . This morning at 4am on the dot, I’m standing in the kitchen making coffee when a bright alien light comes hauling down my street. I look out another window to see a lady booking it in practically a sprint with so much blinky/flashy lights there is no way she would get run over by a car. As she flew by I thought to myself here I’m all proud that I’m just out of bed at 4 am and there’s MRS. world dominator running in the dark at 4 am in freezing temperatures. More power to you! 🙌🏼 Maybe I’ll join you someday…when it’s warmer….and the suns up…..,lol!

SavageMrsMoose

I’m joining for February. I’ve lurked around this thread on an off for months and went alcohol free for 18 days in October, but never making it more than a couple days at a time since then. I need a break from alcohol for my mental and physical health. Today is my day 3 AF (jump start for a little confidence boost). I found the advice from the initial post very helpful and I did follow the experiment (until I didn’t).

Why now? Because I am more committed and I’m hopeful this thread will help me maintain my commitment. I have been given the opportunity to run for a charity in the Boston Marathon in April, just shy of 11 weeks from now. I’m very disciplined with my training- I completed a full marathon 2 weeks ago, but I’m too heavy to be very fast and risk injury with my training because of my weight. Why am I too heavy? It’s very simple- I drink too much wine and eat too much sugar. It makes me feel vulnerable to admit this publicly, albeit quasi-anonymously.

My goal is to post every day, good, bad, or ugly, because I’m just so ready to change my nightly drinking habit. I’m hoping the support will help. Thank you for being here. This feels like a safe space.

lmlmrn

Hey Hey, HO Ho The gang is all starting to congregate on this thread...Month two of 2022. I ended with 21 AF days for January. Which is 100% better than Sept, Oct, Nov Dec 2021. I did ok from Jan-Aug 2021 with AF days between 19-24 per month. This month lets see what happens.

Thank you as always to the lovely @MissMay for starting our thread. Mr., Mrs, and Sock jr. may stop in there and there in the month of February. They do keep me laughing at myself and out of the pour party.

I am looking forward to another great month (for me that includes the good, bad and the ugly) well all do what we can. xxoo

MissMay

On the lighter side of drinking less~

GiveHerGrace

Joining in again for February.

January - 28 days AF, 3 days A (7 total drinks)

February
2/1 AF

@MissMay Thank you for helping keep us all accountable by managing this thread.

@cowgirlslikeus86 Wow...very impressed by all your accomplishments in January!

@SavageMrsMoose Welcome! I'm impressed you can run 26 miles regardless of how fast you do it. I tried to run 10 feet when a street light was turning and my knees told me No! I can walk for days though! Good luck with your training and your drinking less goals!

tmbg1

Here we go, February:
Feb 1-2 - AF

MissMay

I to am impressed with your running abiliti @SavageMrsMoose WOW. And your January accomplishments @cowgirlslikeus86.

Great to see our February participants growing.

I was surprised by reading last night that (I believe it was Australia) has a much higher recommended drinking standard for men and women than the United States has.
So....... my apologies to those not in the U.S. when I have posted the standard drinking chart comparison in the past.

AF day one

Not sure when I will be taking my next drink. I have no real plans, events or occasions. The frig and cupboard is over stocked with booze from husband hoping I will join him. Still enjoying my mix of different flavored bitters for both coffee and mocktails.

SavageMrsMoose

Yesterday was day 3 and it went well. Even under my calorie goal. DH joined- which is great- he has the same issues as me, but while it’s great to have company, it makes me nervous that if he gives up it will be that much harder for me to stay on track. Anyone have the same issues? How do you handle?

globalhiker

Great question @SavageMrsMoose - I have the same one. Actually when my DH joined me last year and we had many months not drinking, it made a huge difference. I did not think he would re-start. But I actually was the one to re-start and then he followed my lead. So it works both ways. Maybe having agreed mutual goals of how to handle when one or the other decides to veer off the agreed plan. Delaying addressing it and thinking "oh well", he'll do what he wants and eventually he'll re-join me" hasn't worked so he's back to nightly drinking and falling asleep on me.

Oh and wine has been the biggest de-railer for running improvement for me - drinking is the best way to get fatter faster and slower in the athletic dept. Right here is my biggest motivation to stick with my water.

I'll log another day of Pellegrino and get on my exercise bike now!

ahoy_m8

Happy February, everybody, especially new posters! I, too, am super impressed by your marathoning, @SavageMrsMoose. I know how much discipline and commitment that takes. You have to persist even when you don't feel your best and even when in the moment you would rather do something else. Apply those same strengths to this goal and I have no doubt at all that you will have the goal you seek. You have demonstrated that you have everything it takes and more. Reach into your own mental resources with confidence on that one.

I have expressed your exact sentiment about a partner in crime. Several of us have, actually, so you are not in that boat alone. My DH has committed to be AF a couple times, and when he has, it has definitely been easier for me to abstain or moderate. We have never decided to be AF together, if that makes sense. We each stick to our own goals, and like @globalhiker said, we can influence each other for the better or worse.

My first step to drinking less was to be AF weeknights. As a daily drinker who often had a glass of wine on the kitchen counter as part of my cooking routine, it was hard at first. DH was CONSTANTLY tempting me ("Wanna start your weekend early?") because he didn't want to drink alone. Or because he wanted an excuse to open a bottle. Or I don't know why but it was seriously not helpful. In time, 2 things happened: I gained the habit of ignoring the temptations on weeknights and he stopped trying. He often drinks during the week, but he just grabs whatever he is going to have after dinner and doesn't mention it to me.

I will say being AF weeknights has truly helped me drink less. It is the single thing that has helped me most. I don't know what to say about having a partner with the same goals because mine and I have had different goals at different times.

ahoy_m8

February goal:
M-Th AF
F-Su 2 drink limit

Goal unchanged because (heavy sigh) it is still challenging. Although fairly consistent on weeknights, the 2 drink limit, which is totally appropriate for my weight and age, is still poses difficult on a frustratingly unpredictable basis.

dawnbgethealthy

I am in, with my usual goal: 16-20AF days per month. I had 18 last month.

Diary Style is how I roll.

Tuesday Feb 01 - AF - Busy week, no plans for drinks until Friday. 3rd AF day in a row. Taking Wednesday off of ice skating since my knee is a little sore after I kind of overdid it. Normally I skate twice on Wednesdays.

lmlmrn

Wow, just wow to everyone. I love the re commitments, insights and jotting down the struggles.

DH recognizes I am/have changed my drinking habits. The first months last year he was like a rock standing behind me. Then it shifted a bit and he would offer to go out and I folded like a house of cards. Then I started to pick back up evening drinking on the weekends that migrated back to weekdays the latter part of the year. So 2022, I feel pretty good. DH and I have established some workable workarounds. During the week, he will indulge in a drink or two in the evenings however, he does not leave the bottle of his choice on the kitchen counter for me to ogle. Then he quietly sits back/goes back to what he was doing. No fan fare no questions if I want a drink. It seems to work.

Last night I felt like a glass of wine. Even got down my wine glass (would you believe I am down to 2?) Poured some wine that had been open (for awhile now). Set it on my desk where I was working/watching the computer screen. Tasted it, to me it tasted like bad apple juice (which I hate). I let it sit there for most of an hour not touching it. Finally I just got up and poured it out. So one type of alcohol off my list of 'drinks'. Just 999 more to rule out...kidding.

AF last night after all that drama

globalhiker

Still keeping up with my no-wine-ing plan. On my shopping list this week is to try out two kinds of teas. I'm not usually a tea person but I could use a warm drink after lunch and in the afternoons to 1)keep me going and 2)give me stress relief and hopefully 3)cut down my appetite before dinner so I don't overeat.

Why didn't I think of this before?

luciebrucie

Happy (I think) to join you. Goal is for a dry February. Deep breath and here I go.
Feb 2 AF

SavageMrsMoose

Thank you to everyone for all the supportive comments! Stayed AF last night without problem. DH did as well. Kind of waiting for the shoe to drop- it’s been easy so far and I know it’s not easy.

I often substitute hot tea in the evening when I’m trying to avoid alcohol. I’ve also started having sparkling water with a splash of fruit juice. It feels like a treat.

I think my best approach to this “dry February” is to view it as another aspect of my marathon training- and that goes for my eating too. I wouldn’t skip my long runs and expect to be successful, I just should admit that food and alcohol are also a component of training that I can’t ignore.

Happy Thursday to everyone and hope you are staying warm!

SavageMrsMoose

@dawnbgethealthy - Do you figure skate? My daughter used to. It’s a beautiful sport!

dawnbgethealthy

I am in, with my usual goal: 16-20AF days per month. I had 18 last month.

Diary Style is how I roll.

Tuesday Feb 01 - AF - Busy week, no plans for drinks until Friday. 3rd AF day in a row. Taking Wednesday off of ice skating since my knee is a little sore after I kind of overdid it. Normally I skate twice on Wednesdays.
Wednesday Feb 02 - AF - My long workday, I would normally have had a couple of drinks, but it is too early in the month for that : - )

Rolling total: 2AF days out of 2 days

dawnbgethealthy

SavageMrsMoose wrote: »

@dawnbgethealthy - Do you figure skate? My daughter used to. It’s a beautiful sport!

Hi.
No, I don't figure skate, but I know some people who do, it is beautiful.
I just...skate : - )

This is from last March. Outdoor skating is a bit of a bust here this year, public skating in arenas.