Less Alcohol ~ FEBRUARY 2022 ~ One Day At A Time
Replies
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OMG LOVE THE BABY AND BIG SIS PHOTOS! Adorable!
Catching up and , truly, best wishes to all who are coming back from health stuff - earaches, heart attacks, COVID... serious stuff. A good reminder to be kind to your one and only amazing body.
@globalhiker , I am pondering the exact same things about the "reward" psychology. I kind of am of two minds. On the one hand, I think there is merit to the little voice that says one drink (or sweet treat) in an overall healthy diet/exercise regimen truly is ok if the goal is balance and enjoyment. No great harm if it truly brings a spec of enjoyment. On the other hand, the feeling of "deserving" or entitlement may not exactly be in harmony with enjoying a treat. But it might. Does feeling entitled to it lead to less enjoyment? I think for me that is the key as I look for ways to consume less WHILE enjoying more. I'm interested in others' thoughts on this.
Been away a week. An old friend asked me to come help her deal with some estate issues in central Mexico on Friday, and I hopped on a plane Monday to give her a hand. Long story, but I couldn't imagine tackling what she is dealing with alone. She was really grateful. I'm back now and ready to get back to my routine. I generally don't log when traveling, especially foreign travel. It's just impossible to know and too difficult to guess. Plus we drank during the week. Maybe every day? Or at least close to that. I wasn't keeping track but it seemed like a glass of something here and there on weeknights which is not my usual mode. Nothing crazy but nothing I really enjoyed either. The "We deserve a glass of wine" thinking at the end of the day was in full force. I would benefit from a good think about that.5 -
JustDan_71 wrote: »Hello Everyone! I would like to try joining you.
I have to be honest, I think I am too old or something for this part of the app. It seems awkward to navigate and I can’t ever find anything. LOL
I used to be on WW. It really helped me with my weight and I liked their community but…life!
Anyway, I have been here a while but haven’t found a place I belong and stumbled on this discussion. I am starting feel like I need a break from alcohol and I know it helps keep weight off.
Maybe checking in with people who have similar goals will help keep me on track.
Have a great Sunday!
Welcome!
I struggle with the new format too!4 -
@forestdweller1 great to see you back here. So sorry to hear about your health issues!!!
@lmlmrm congratulations on the sweet new addition to your family!!! She and her big sister are beauties.
Just came back from a whirlwind trip to Phoenix for a seminar. More alcohol than I usually drink, and less sleep, means I reset today. The weather was beautiful. I love springtime in a desert! Perfect weather. Then came home to East Coast winter. Brrrr!2 -
OMG LOVE THE BABY AND BIG SIS PHOTOS! Adorable!
Catching up and , truly, best wishes to all who are coming back from health stuff - earaches, heart attacks, COVID... serious stuff. A good reminder to be kind to your one and only amazing body.
@globalhiker , I am pondering the exact same things about the "reward" psychology. I kind of am of two minds. On the one hand, I think there is merit to the little voice that says one drink (or sweet treat) in an overall healthy diet/exercise regimen truly is ok if the goal is balance and enjoyment. No great harm if it truly brings a spec of enjoyment. On the other hand, the feeling of "deserving" or entitlement may not exactly be in harmony with enjoying a treat. But it might. Does feeling entitled to it lead to less enjoyment? I think for me that is the key as I look for ways to consume less WHILE enjoying more. I'm interested in others' thoughts on this.
Been away a week. An old friend asked me to come help her deal with some estate issues in central Mexico on Friday, and I hopped on a plane Monday to give her a hand. Long story, but I couldn't imagine tackling what she is dealing with alone. She was really grateful. I'm back now and ready to get back to my routine. I generally don't log when traveling, especially foreign travel. It's just impossible to know and too difficult to guess. Plus we drank during the week. Maybe every day? Or at least close to that. I wasn't keeping track but it seemed like a glass of something here and there on weeknights which is not my usual mode. Nothing crazy but nothing I really enjoyed either. The "We deserve a glass of wine" thinking at the end of the day was in full force. I would benefit from a good think about that.
The problem isn't the moderate consumption of "treats" the problem is compulsive, repetitive behaviours that you don't want to be continuing, but you do because you feel an intense urge/craving to do so.
When that's the case, it's not a treat, it's giving in to an addiction.
If you have compulsive cravings, giving in feels like a "treat" but it's actually a self destructive behavior.
Something is a "treat" when it's just a nice-to-have add-on to your normal day-to-day routine. A pedicure might be a nice treat, or some flowers. But if you spent your day thinking about pedicures, constantly thinking "I need to cut back on pedicures," promising yourself "only X number of pedicures this month," but then giving in and getting more pedicures than you intended, feeling guilty when you get too many pedicures, and justifying it as a "treat"???
Yeah, that's not a treat, that's a problem.
It's not how much you use something that dictates that you have problems with it, it's how you feel about using it that really matters.
If you're managing to limit yourself to only 1-2 drinks at a time, or only gambling $20, or only eating one cookie, or only doing a few lines of cocaine and only at parties, but you need to white knuckle the hell out of limiting it to that "acceptable" level, then you don't actually have a healthy relationship with the thing you are addicted to.
At that point, it's not a treat because the whole dynamic isn't healthy.
The question isn't "How much use can I justify as okay?" the question is "Do I feel like my relationship with this habit is healthy and contributing positively to my life overall?"
If the honest answer is "yes," then enjoy the treat. If it isn't "yes," then it's probably not a treat, because it's probably unhealthy for you.
It's the same way there's nothing wrong with having a delicious peanut butter cookie, unless it's unhealthy for you because you have diabetes or a peanut allergy or celiac.
If it's unhealthy for you, it's NOT a treat.
Once you look at it through that lense, the answer as to how much you should feel comfortable consuming becomes pretty self evident.
As a personal example, my husband used to drink much more than I did when he drank, but I felt the urge to drink more frequently.
I was the one with the addiction-type cravings every day. I didn't drink a lot in one sitting because my system couldn't handle it, but it was hard for me to abstain.
He on the other hand could kind of take it or leave it, but if he had more than 2 drinks, he lost his "off" switch and couldn't stop drinking. His whole personality would change, and it was horrible.
2 years later and I have no interest in ever drinking again because I never, ever want to be subject to those cravings and that difficulty to not drink. It will never be a "treat" for me.
But for him, he often has a max of 2 drinks when out with friends. He has no problem stopping if he sticks to a 2 drinks max, the floodgates never open, and he never feels the need for more. On any given outing, he could take it or leave it because he has no cravings. For him, the occasional beer or two is a legitimate treat, just a fun thing to add to an outing.
I'm totally comfortable with this, and even comfortable with him drinking around me.
As much as his drinking was actually more problematic than mine, he has the healthier relationship with very moderate drinking than I do.
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JustDan_71 wrote: »Hello Everyone! I would like to try joining you.
I have to be honest, I think I am too old or something for this part of the app. It seems awkward to navigate and I can’t ever find anything. LOL
I used to be on WW. It really helped me with my weight and I liked their community but…life!
Anyway, I have been here a while but haven’t found a place I belong and stumbled on this discussion. I am starting feel like I need a break from alcohol and I know it helps keep weight off.
Maybe checking in with people who have similar goals will help keep me on track.
Have a great Sunday!
WELCOME @JustDan_71
Congrats on your success in the past with WW. MFP recently changed the the floor plan here and messed us all up.
Glad you found our thread, we are all on different goal journeys. Drinking less for our own reasons. This is a wonderful group of non judgemental people. . Check in anytime.1 -
We left yesterday and are away for a few days. Sunday we arrived at our superbowl event at 3:00PM, we were there until 10:00PM. I had already decided I would step out of my AF streak of 49 days (yay).
Within those 6.5 hours at a big time drinking event, I kept to one standard mixed drink. ( another yay) our server came around probably every 15 minutes asking if we needed anything, I had plenty of off the chart chances to go hog wild, throw caution to the wind and say screw it. I had discussed with our server when she introduced herself that this drink I am ordering has to be worth it to me more in flavor than alcohol content. LEMON yum.
A few minutes later the server returned WITH the bartender. I was shocked! The bartender was so sweet and kind and said she really wanted to make my drink perfect ans discussed how she would make it with lots of fresh lemon zest. It was very refreshing and I followed @womona micro sips.
Tonight we're staying overnight again it being Valentines Day, I'll plan another one drink night with our Valentines dinner out.
Happy Feb 14th
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I am in, with my usual goal: 16-20AF days per month. I had 18 last month.
Diary Style is how I roll.
Sunday Feb 06 - AF
Monday Feb 07 - AF
Tuesday Feb 08 - AF
Wednesday Feb 09 - 2 drinks, quite enjoyed them. Planning drinks over the weekend with one of my besties who is moving away on Tuesday. My last weekend with her, and she enjoys having drinks.
Thursday Feb 10 - Drinks. Stayed very late at my friend's after we were both finished work. We are packing up her entire house. We had drinks at the end of the night. It may be the same for the next few days.
Friday Feb 11 - Drinks
Feb 12 - Drnks. Planned AF for Sunday. planned drinks Monday eve, my friend leaves on Tuesday
Feb 13 - AF - Busy day Monday working out of town, so AF decision. Expecting to have drinks with my departing friend Monday and Tuesday, she leaves for good on Wednesday.
Rolling total: 6AF days out of 12 days4 -
I am in, with my usual goal: 16-20AF days per month. I had 18 last month.
Diary Style is how I roll.
Feb 13 - AF - Busy day Monday working out of town, so AF decision. Expecting to have drinks with my departing friend Monday and Tuesday, she leaves for good on Wednesday.
Rolling total: 7AF days out of 13 days1 -
Feb 1-2 - AF
Feb 3-5 - stuck with 2 drink limit
Feb 6-9 - AF
Feb 10 - 12 - 2 drink limit
Feb 13-14 AF - I sleep better on AF nights!4 -
Well true to form I watch 0 of the super bowl but did have a few drinks last night. They were 'weak' by most standards. I had experimented months ago making some coffee liqueur. So last night I made two drinks with some and tonic water. I don't recommend it.
Today I am back to my normal self being AF. I seem to do fine most of the week. My hardest day is believe it or not is Thursdays. Friday is a bit easier to skip alcohol. Saturday because of our history of going out for lunch and a beer is still problematic however that is the one day a week at this point I allow myself to have those 2 beers. A year ago I could not even think about going more than 2 days AF. So progress is progress.6 -
Feb 1-2 - AF
Feb 3-5 - stuck with 2 drink limit
Feb 6-9 - AF
Feb 10 - 12 - 2 drink limit
Feb 13-15 AF5 -
Well I got into a funk and have had daily drinks (2 drinks per day since i last posted.) I have a lot of work to do to finish Febrary with more AF days than drinks days.
January - 28 days AF, 3 days A (7 total drinks)
February
2/1 AF
2/2 AF
2/3 1 drink
2/4 - 2/14 2 drinks daily
February totals: AF - 2, Drinks 12😒
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Hello all! Hope everyone is doing well!
I managed to enjoy the Super Bowl with a pre-game Peloton ride and sparkling water. My two chocolate chip cookies in the 4th put my over my calorie goal, but MFP only gave me credit for a leisurely bike ride, when I went 16.5 miles in an hour, plus a 5 minute, 1.25 mile cool down. So maybe I was pretty close.
Yesterday afternoon I decided I was going to indulge in alcohol during our valentines dinner. DH had made a reservation at our favorite Italian restaurant. Unfortunately this breaks my 16 day streak, but I really enjoy red wine. I had a glass of Prosecco before dinner and DH and I split a bottle of wine. Only had 2 very small pieces of bread and no desert so not a total food orgie at least! But I’m going to wait a few days to weigh again.
Feeling pretty confident that I’ll be back on track today. Have a 8 mile hill run after skiing this morning. Perfect I’m not, but my goal really isn’t to never drink again, just to break the nightly habit and lose some weight.6 -
@MissMay I agree with the other posters that I would ignore that alcohol you were served unless you had another after. The point of drinking less or not at all is not about alcohol consumption but rather about kicking addiction and/or making healthier choices that have a lasting impact on our mental, physical, relational, and financial health. You didn’t have a “choice” in that bar and you are continuing to “choose” sobriety (or dryness, lol whatever we call it!). This to me means you didn’t make a poor choice and therefore you should get to still claim your streak! 💕5
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globalhiker wrote: »
I do have a question for the group here since I am still falling into the same repeated trap and I want to solve this, so here is the scenario:
I do "good" several days in a row, all of it: the diet, the exercise, the right sleep, the no drinking, I power through 12 hour days of intense work...I even logged 6 miles of hill run on Monday. After a multi-day stretch, my mind tells me I deserve a reward and it's OK to drink because I deserved this. And I fully believe I have the right to reward myself. Does this "I deserve a reward" thinking come from my childhood (my parents always rewarded me with food - if I went to ballet then afterwards I got pizza....if I went to the YMCA to swim class...afterwards we got McDonalds or whatever-and each and every time I would over-indulge). ?
As a solution, in the past I went out of my way to reward myself with non-food/non-drink rewards (skincare products, clothes) but this is not working now.
Any ideas of how to solve this problem?
I 100% understand this line of thinking. A few years ago my ex and I would run 5-15 miles almost every day. We would reward ourselves with alcohol. This year when I went AF, I was bummed because I “use to” be able to be active and drink all the time. Why cant I do it now and reward myself in that way?
I’m 36, alcohol is starting to have more of an impact on me. I’m less productive on many fronts and don’t have the energy I need after consumption. I had to find things to do to replace my drinking time.
I get off work, go to yoga for an hour, do some nightly cleaning duties around the house then crawl into bed with a cup of coffee and maybe a square of dark chocolate and read. This mindset has come over me that loosing weight, getting stronger, sleeping better, spending less money, getting outdoors more, having better relationships cause I’m not rushing home to drink, this is my “reward”. Last night I “deserved” a reward according to my brain so I went out and had ice cream with my dad instead of a beer……or 3
Switch out drinking times/activities with activities that generate endorphins. These will take the place of the chemicals that get released in your brain when you consume alcohol and the “hangeover” is more confidence because you made a good decision that you don’t have to feel guilt about. 💕7 -
Good day everyone!
AF last night but by the way I feel this morning I could swear I have a hang over. Sad news, fever, wicked headache, and body aches. Napaproxin to the rescue. So I have been up and drinking coffee for a few hours now. The headache and fever are mostly gone. But I will monitor the rest of the day.
We are suppose to have family over on Saturday but if I continue to run a fever we will have to cancel. My mom is 87 and immune compromised.
My daughter is posting all these baby pictures of Elsie on her facebook page, HaHa I gto to train that girl to text them to the grandma first then post for everyone else.
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Checking in for accountability
January - 28 days AF, 3 days A (7 total drinks)
February
2/1 AF
2/2 AF
2/3 1 drink
2/4 - 2/14 2 drinks daily
2/15 - AF
February totals: AF - 3, Drinks 12😒5 -
I’m late on my weekly posting🙃. I will say it’s much easier to abstain from wine since my husband is joining me on the less alcohol this month. But I’m finding that I do think about it more often than I do when I’m not abstaining; but I do that with anything I “give up” when dieting or when we do the Daniel Fast every year with our church (honey nut Cheerios, chocolate, coffee, etc.). I am going out to dinner with some girlfriends on Saturday and I am planning on having 2 glasses of wine. So for now here’s my count so far:
1/31-2/3: AF
2/4: A (wine)
2/5-2/15: AF
I hope everyone has a great day! 🙂5 -
Quick check in since returning home.
Valentines dinner out ended with two glasses of prosseco instead of my goal of one...but that is fine.
AF again last night
I recently had to share this with a friend that she and her husband are off the charts obnoxious with profanity while out in public. It can be used for many different types of reasons for self control.
SELF CONTROL
Self-control has three main parts:
Monitoring involves keeping track of your thoughts, feelings and actions. ...
Standards are guidelines that steer us toward desirable responses. ...
Strength refers to the energy we need to control our impulses.6 -
My daughter is posting all these baby pictures of Elsie on her facebook page, HaHa I gto to train that girl to text them to the grandma first then post for everyone else.
@lmlmrn - Love the pics of your granddaughters! I totally understand what you mean about seeing pics of your grandbaby on Facebook first. But it is not my DIL & Son ... it is the other grandma & stepdad both posting pics! They are prolific FB posters. My kids and I don't post much on Facebook except for major group pics or a few here and there ... so coming to terms with this. It is interesting. But my mental issue is NOT competing with this other grandma that is constantly buying stuff and posting pics.
Spoke to my son and they are texting me almost daily pics ... so many cute pictures!
Here is the pic I took Friday when I took my daughter, DIL and grandbaby out to lunch
Hallie visiting other grandmother ... new outfit (she already bought one for every holiday). This is basically a photo shoot at her home. But I got a great picture from it.
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February accountability: 2/28 days AF
Alcohol: 13 days (23 drinks)
Goal: Limit 1-2 glasses per day; 12-16 AF days per month. Aim to drink no more than 2 nights in a row.
2/11 - 4 wine
2/12 - 2 wine
2/13 - AF Super Bowl
2/14 - 1 wine
2/15 - AF
Getting my life back under control. Not worried about wine when it is only 1 bottle ... but when 2 are opened like Friday night I need to switch to something else.3 -
@Lilylady3k I am with you about getting back in control. Love the pictures too!
The month is halfway over and the next two weeks should be smooth-sailing. I see no obstacles or special holidays or anything. Really look forward to just slowing down my life pace to where I need to be and simply recalibrate.
We got this5 -
Oh my word those photos are ADORABLE4
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Hmm, I was really hoping for AF February, but ended up having 2 glasses of wine on Sunday. I'm disappointed, but won't beat myself up over it.
3 days AF6 -
I am in, with my usual goal: 16-20AF days per month. I had 18 last month.
Diary Style is how I roll.
Feb 13 - AF - Busy day Monday working out of town, so AF decision. Expecting to have drinks with my departing friend Monday and Tuesday, she leaves for good on Wednesday.
Feb 14 - 2 drinks
Feb 15 - AF - said goodbye to my friend on Monday night, she is enroute now to Calgary and flies out of there in the wee hours Thursday morning. Time to get back to a normal routine for myself and to rack up some AF days.
Rolling total: 8AF days out of 15 days7 -
Well, I started on Sunday and that was a bust…but the last two days, no alcohol!!
However, today is my birthday so I am sure I will partake and not feel guilty 🥳
50/50 so far. I will take the small wins!8 -
JustDan_71 wrote: »Well, I started on Sunday and that was a bust…but the last two days, no alcohol!!
However, today is my birthday so I am sure I will partake and not feel guilty 🥳
50/50 so far. I will take the small wins!
Happy birthday! We all start somewhere. Small wins add up. IMHO, it is all about the small wins.6 -
Feb 1-2 - AF
Feb 3-5 - stuck with 2 drink limit
Feb 6-9 - AF
Feb 10 - 12 - 2 drink limit
Feb 13-15 AF
Feb 16 - 2 drinks4 -
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Oh my @Lilylady3k The pictures are so cute I want to pinch some cheeks!
Well it is now confirmed both DH and I tested positive for covid
I started with a low fever and headache a few days ago, DH has been super fatigued and has a cough. So our symptoms are very mild. I have had colds that made me feel much worse.
So AF, it really just lost it's appeal the last few days, even though I don't have much of a problem during the week any longer. 11/16 days dry.
Now I have this 13lb turkey in my frig thawing out for the dinner party I WAS going to have on Saturday. So if I cooked it say Sunday or Monday then put it in the freezer until the following Saturday do you think it will be ok?
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