WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JUNE 2022
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Karen — Why are you planning to move? Do you dislike neighbors, or prefer a different neighborhood? I hope you are able to find a home that makes you happy.0
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In her book Emotional Genius Karen McLaren talks about the emotion of depression. It is usually not one thing that creates this emotional state. It is a series of things that are wearing on the nerves. Depression is a way of your body declaring a time out from being overwhelmed. An easy state to get to in this day and age.
Setting healthy boundaries is one step to take. Again hard to do with the world and voices telling how to behave. I have a friend that when I tell her sometime I stood up against will ask me don't I feel guilty. NOOOO! I feel empowered and I am taking care of myself. I do feel it a bother to even have to explain how important it is too stand up for myself.
Another is get exercise that works for you that hopefully gets you in sunshine...walking, gardening, swimming outside, walking through a garden center...
Resting where you are talking deep calming breaths...
Singing, dancing to get your body in a productive way.
Eating foods that nourish your body instead of someone else's pocket. Interesting that the makers of junk food often do not eat therir own food. Think of that the next time you reach for a junk food product.
Sleep is one the hardest of all. I sometimes take passion flower tincture and use Epson salts like a body scrub (for magnesium) to help with leg cramps which is what makes it hard for me to get a good nights sleep. Working on getting a healthy sleep rountine in place.
Do I always follow my own advice. Unfortuately NO. I just try to do better because when I do I feel better.
Give yourself credit for anything you do to work yourself through the fog of depression.
When I got hit hard with depression after a life threatening illness. I remember reading someday you will notice the geraniums again and enjoy them. Perhaps that is why I make a habit of everyday finding a beautiful display of flowers and share them with my friends on FACEBOOK.
Margaret
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Everything offered is helping me. I love the different approaches and ideas about how to deal with this.
Margaret, Yes, there have been several things that have piled on the last few years. The cumulative effect of the political climate, Covid, my brother's health, my spouse's health, decisions about work, quitting Jazzercise, grandson's autism diagnosis, etc., I plummeted. No more than anyone else deals with, and less than many, but I have a genetic predisposition to depression and I finally spiraled down into it.
Katla, We are moving now so we don't have to make agonizing decisions & lose control later. Also, to relieve the burden of worry about disposition of our belongings. And finally, to save our children from having to make those decisions and do all that work, and to save them from as much worry as possible.
Lanette I'm going to look up Dr. Hanscom.
Rita & everyone else, Thanks, and keep the comments coming. Definitely helping. I contacted my doctor to talk about an SSRI.
Karen in Virginia5 -
Found this in one of Dr. Hanscom's blogs:
“She Just Let Go”
She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of the fear. She let go of the judgments.
She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head
She let go of the committee of indecision within her.
She let go of all the “right” reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry,
She just let go.
She didn’t ask anyone for advice.
She didn’t read a book on how to let go….
She didn’t search the scriptures.
She just let go.
She let go of all of the memories that held her back.
She let go of all the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.
She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.
She didn’t promise to let go.
She didn’t journal about it.
She didn’t write the projected date in her day timer.
She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper.
She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.
She just let go.
She didn’t analyze whether she should let go.
She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.
She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment.
She didn’t call the prayer line.
She didn’t utter one word.
She just let go.
No one was around when it happened.
There was no applause or congratulations.
No one thanked her or praised her.
No one noticed a thing.
Like a leaf falling from a tree,
She just let go.
There was no effort. There was no struggle.
It wasn’tgood, and it wasn’t bad.
It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be.
A small smile came over her face.
A light breeze blew through her.
And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.
–Rev. Safire Rose
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Afternoon ladies
I must say the guys were prompt and set the bed up in record time..only thing i forgot to have them do is put the slide things under so i can move the bed oh well,when my brother comes down ill have him help do that..
I got the bed made up and promptly lay down and took a lovely nap it was divine.. no more sleeping on the floor..
Gave the guys each 20 bucks and a cold bottle of water gor the ride...I would do buisness with them again in a heartbeat..
I got a call from the drs office from the bloodwork i did this morning.. i guess my hemoglobin, and white and red blood counts are low and they wanted me to contact both my cardiologist and nephrologist.. so I did..
My son will be staying overnight tonight and im taking him to the airport in the morning..im hoping they dont cancel his flight.. he is so looking forward to it.. but tomorrow is going to be a long day because I have to be up at like 3:30 and after taking him up ( he wont take his car ugh)I watch Miles until noontime.. then yes i will need a nap for sure..4 -
Hello friends. I couldn’t believe how long it has been since I posted. Barbara reached out to me about a week ago and I started trying to find the thread. I really have missed you all. I tried to skim to see who was still here and was delighted to see so many familiar names.
I can’t remember if I posted when my hair fell out after my second shot. I mean like shinny bald on top. Bought a wig and went through treatment with a Dermatologist. It had come back somewhat but is very curly and soft. No complaints. It is good to have hair. . Haven’t gotten enough energy back to play golf although I have tried a few times. It is so hot here that it makes you sick to go out very long.
I hesitate to end this post because I may not find you again. Lol
SueBDew in TX14 -
Worked today. I’m hoping to get to the gym tomorrow. Ceramics tonight so no walk around the block
Flea – hug
At one point my MIL was on 10 different medications. Same as you are talking about, one for one thing, another for the side effect, another for the side effect of that drug and so on
Allie – so glad you’re so happy with the new bed and the installation.
Had a home visit for my CPAP. You are supposed to be connected to the WiFi but for security Vince has ours hidden and we couldn’t find a way to enter the network name. Well, Vince enabled it long enough for it to show up and then we can use it for the CPAP then he disabled it.
Guess we need to have dinner in a few.
Michele NC
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LATEST UPDATE (#4) : yogi had his checkup on his mouth surgery. We don’t have to soak his food anymore and we can go back to his hard treats. I never knew so I asked how many teeth had they removed, 7! That was including the one canine tooth, woah! For the next 7 days; still no frisbee (he has a soft frisbee) or ball catching and I have to keep walking him on leash (usually walks off leach with us) so I can make sure he doesn’t pick up any sticks along the way. Weighed in at 64.5 lbs which is a perfect weight for him. Have been back to our 6 mile walks, he’s doing awesome.13
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Karen in Virginia - Wish I was there to give you a hug, I have not dealt with depression with meds, just no booze, more fresh air, and pet loving.... Be sure you take regular showers, and wear clothes you like, that sounds weird but I have found if you do the "look your best" it helps with the reaction the world gives you and that helps with depression. Probably not enough help for deeper depression, but every little bit of help adds to the whole.
Kim in N. California8 -
SueBDew, welcome back! You have been missed... so glad you're here.
Everyone involved in the antidepressant conversation: Just one more thing from my experience. The first time I ever spoke to a doctor about taking antidepressants was early in 2007. He talked about all the possible benefits and all the possible side effects and drawbacks, and I took it all to heart. Picked up the prescription and went home, and looked at that prescription bottle for days without taking one. I just couldn't get myself to take one.
I was out of work at the time, living in East Alton, Illinois, with my first husband. We'd moved there for his job, and I had just convinced the Nautilus gym that I worked for that they needed to keep the two part-time employees and let me go. They were good people and were supporting kids at home, and I was not. Basically fired myself.
So I've got time to think for the first time in months. The pill bottle stayed on the coffee table in the living room and I kept looking at it, and finally had the epiphany that I couldn't get myself to take the pills because I wasn't depressed. I admitted finally to myself alone that my hope was the pills would change me enough to stay married.
So instead of taking the antidepressant, I found a training class for flight attendants in St. Louis, just across the Mississippi River, graduated a few months later, and began leaving my husband one three- or four-day work trip at a time. Finally left that job, because it didn't supply enough wages to make rent possible in St. Louis, and left the husband at the same time, May 2008, and the rest is history.
It's possible it's a cautionary tale, I guess, but it's also got a happy ending. As I said, I've been on Wellbutrin for about three years now, and my doctor recommended it for impulse control. It helped me make better decisions, I think, and I love its leveling action for my emotional rollercoaster. I feel like I'm making decisions from a place of thoughtful logic.
Sorry, didn't mean to turn that into a lecture.
Later y'all,
Much love,
Lisa in AR10 -
Stats for the day-
Walk w/family- 1hr 53min 28sec, 66elev, 3.17ap, 90ahr, 120mhr, 6.09mi= 538c
Strava app = 694c
Zwift home bike trainer- strava stats- 13.58min, 125elev, 182aw, 21.9amph, 35-40gear, 5.10mi= 150c est
Zwift stats- 14min, 127elev, 181aw, 63arpm, 21.86amph, 5.10mi= 146c
Total cal 6881 -
Heather-Yes, waiting is the very worst part of vacationing. I prefer departing in the morning, but it doesn't always work out that way.
Debbie-Big Hugs.
Traveling-I cannot imagine not traveling. The mister groans about some places I want to go, but when I tell him I'll go without him, he joins. He has an incredibly strong sense of FOMO (though he is getting better). I also think it's healthy to take separate trips from time to time, even if it's just a weekend.
Good news! I've lost a bit of weight...in my wrist. 😕 *sigh* Unfortunately, my wrists have always been the size of a child's, so it's not really a win. It's not from where the weight needs to disappear either.
Time to get work done. Need to get the week's worth done before Wednesday! Have a great week!
Tina in CA5 -
A comment on the antidepressant topic--Before asking about experience with medication, what about asking people who have dealt with loss, depression, illness, etc., to tell you what they have done to deal with these things without medication. The answers will be surprising and varied and amazing. Barbie 5
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Mushrooms- IF you haven't watched it yet, you should watch Fantastic Fungi on Netflix. It is a documentary about all of the new things that they are finding out about mushrooms and fungi (health and medical benefits). They also explain what happened to the use of herbal/natural medicine when pharmaceuticals became more popular. Once pharmaceutical companies and governments started researching and creating drugs to "help" people, the government made many natural remedies and ingredients illegal; even though they had been used in folk medicine and native american medicines for millenia. It is so interesting and really worth the watch. Lots of good information, people referenced Paul Stamets, Andrew Weil, Michael Pollan. Putting the trailer in the spoiler.
I, personally, have never tried mushrooms or anything stronger than mj. Many years ago, DH and I were given some mj that was laced with something stronger (without our knowledge). After some major ridiculousness that had me on the floor laughing like a crazy person, I went straight into the whole freak out paranoia and thought I lost the baby (she was asleep in her crib). That said, after seeing many family members on many different drugs for different things; my plan is to go the "natural" route for as much as I can. I have already sent letters to my children and my DH so that they know that I prefer to be treated with cbd, mushrooms, herbal remedies for as much as possible. I even sent them names of companies to look into for purchasing meds.
Heather- Did your luggage make it aboard? So happy you are on your way and being pampered, as you so deserve!
Lanette- Sounds like my DH followed the same RA med path as your hubby. He is currently dealing with jaw bone splintering/ bone loss due to the methotrexate that he took in the beginning of his RA diagnosis. He has JUST beginning to get on board with medical MJ. He doesn't like the taste of the tincture; so he uses gummies quite a bit. I don't think the gummies provide enough for the intense pain relief, but he is in a much better mood when he takes them. It takes the edge off his depression and anxiety, so he is mentally on a more even keel.
Karen- I hope you are able to glean a little bit of knowledge to help you. I hope you feel the love and hugs as we all reach out in support. I do not suffer from depression per se; but since I have become the sole breadwinner, my anxiety level and "blue" days have become more intense. To lessen those feelings, I go outside. Either into the woods or by the water, if possible and just walk (or sit) and breathe. Hugs to you!
Suebdew- Oh my dear friend! I am so happy to see you post! I am glad your hair is coming back in; and curly, too! That's a fun change! I hope you are getting all of the rest you need, as you have had a rough year. Sending you healing thoughts and lots of love!
Barbie- Hugs to you! Bessie and Bernie doing any better? Was Sasha the oldest?
Well, I am officially back on the wagon with my eating. Logged everything today and hope to do so for the remainder of my five pound loss...lol ttfn xoxoxo KJ (Kelly)3 -
A comment on the antidepressant topic--Before asking about experience with medication, what about asking people who have dealt with loss, depression, illness, etc., to tell you what they have done to deal with these things without medication. The answers will be surprising and varied and amazing. Barbie
Excellent comment!
Would love to hear non-pharmacological strategies from anyone who cares to share.
(Some of you already have done so, and I have taken it all in.)
Karen in Virginia
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Evening ladies
Tucking myself in early as i have to get up early and get Dan up to the airport,poor guy was pacing ,but is excited to go ,he is spending the day at Disneyland on Wednesday.. i hope he has a fantastic trip.i have to check on his cat while he is gone.3 -
I'd like to recommend "10% Happier" by Dan Harris. It's his story about how he went from depression, anxiety, and PTSD first by the use of a variety of drugs ( like cocaine) and alcohol and ultimately found a spiritual path in meditation in various traditions. There are probably a lot of books that others can recommend written by people who have used a strong connection with a spiritual path to recover from many soul sucking situations. There is a huge push in the world today to find a "magic bullet" that will solve all your problems, when in fact, it requires hard work and huge changes in life style. The Minimalists have some excellent suggestions (look for their books and podcast (easy to find on YouTube). Clear your life of things that aren't important, people that are toxic or negative, and avoid reading or watching anything that creates anxiety. If getting over bad feelings is important, it should probably be the most important thing on your list every day no matter what. Barbie 7
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Carla I feel you! My youngest daughter did not call my DH yesterday. When I texted her to ask if she had, her response was that they had been busy all day and were watching a movie! I too am angry and so disappointed in her! He bought them a fricking house! Yes, they are paying for it (or were until some things came up last Sept), but some gratitude and not attitude would be nice. I really am pissed!
Lanette Thank you for the link. I plan on sharing it with my SIL and my youngest daughter. Both of whom are definitely suffering with depression/anxiety worse than mine.
Thank you all for all of your comments and suggestions to Karen. I have things to learn about.
Sue Good to see you! My friend lost her hair after Covid at Christmas time. She finally had enough to go to the hairdresser about 2 weeks ago. She said the same thing, it is soft and curly. Still patchy, but wigs and hats have helped her through it.
Pip Great news for Yogi!
On to next page.
Kylia4 -
A comment on the antidepressant topic--Before asking about experience with medication, what about asking people who have dealt with loss, depression, illness, etc., to tell you what they have done to deal with these things without medication. The answers will be surprising and varied and amazing. Barbie
I for one tried dealing without meds, but found I needed them or I probably wouldn’t be here. I did try without them, wasn’t good6 -
Heather-Yes, waiting is the very worst part of vacationing. I prefer departing in the morning, but it doesn't always work out that way.
Debbie-Big Hugs.
Traveling-I cannot imagine not traveling. The mister groans about some places I want to go, but when I tell him I'll go without him, he joins. He has an incredibly strong sense of FOMO (though he is getting better). I also think it's healthy to take separate trips from time to time, even if it's just a weekend.
Good news! I've lost a bit of weight...in my wrist. 😕 *sigh* Unfortunately, my wrists have always been the size of a child's, so it's not really a win. It's not from where the weight needs to disappear either.
Time to get work done. Need to get the week's worth done before Wednesday! Have a great week!
Tina in CA
I used to live to travel and travel to live.
But that was taken away over 4 years ago.
Plus I won't set foot in an airplane until COVID is much less prevalent.
Maybe next year.
M in Oz1 -
A comment on the antidepressant topic--Before asking about experience with medication, what about asking people who have dealt with loss, depression, illness, etc., to tell you what they have done to deal with these things without medication. The answers will be surprising and varied and amazing. Barbie
I was able to deal with all sorts of stress and ups and downs including but not limited to:
University stress
Job changes
Marriage breakdown
Moves - including a move to a different country
Extensive travel
Bushfire
Almost losing my husband in bushfire
Living in a shed for a year after bushfire
Etc.
But when life threw me something at a whole new level of stress above and beyond all the rest... that's when I needed medication help.
But note that medication doesn't solve everything. It just helps me deal with things in a calmer, more rational way.
It also doesn't make me feel all happy and bright. All my emotions are much more even. I don't get very happy or very anything. It's nice to not feel.
And I still need to do all the healthy living stuff. I still need energetic bicycle rides or runs to burn off some emotional energy at times. I still get very tired and need lots of sleep.
M in Oz5 -
Note too that depression isn't just feeling a bit sad or a little stressed. It's a medical condition. And it is OK to get help for a medical condition.
We'd get help for physical conditions ... we can also get help for mental health conditions.
Thankfully mental health is just as important as physical health these days. It's not something we sweep under the carpet anymore.
M in Oz4 -
Rori- Great pic! Are these the friends that you went to the concert with? I think you have a pic on facebook and you are wearing a green dress (you look stunning, by the way).
KJ: Thank you! Yes. I met these gals in high school, then reconnected on FB less than a year ago. My affinity to be find and keep girlfriends is strong. I actually could use more male friendships. This photo was taken at Red Rocks Ampitheatre just before the concert by Chicago and Brian Wilson. I get to work at this amazing venue a couple times a week. My friends who drove 11 hours from Montana for this experience, were gobsmacked by the music, beauty and positive vibes here. We had a super-fun time and we are already talking about our next get-together this September when I'll go up to visit them.[/spoiler]
Machka: You are a hero in my book. I hope you continue to find the peace and beauty of your beach and bike rides and Rhody walks enough to carry you through the stresses. I well remember the frustration of feeling 'trapped" in caregiver hell. I was a frequent traveler for years prior to retirement and the switch to being homebound 24/7 was a huge dark cloud over my life. ((hugs)) Stay strong. This isn't forever and one day you will look back on this chapter and smile.
SueBDew: Good to see you. Bookmark our page and come on back.
Debbie: ((hugs)) to you and your DH. I agree with others who have recommended hospice for your MIL. They also offer ancillary support to the family of loved ones in transition. It might help your DH to talk with their social worker or chaplain.
KarenVA: You already know I am a Reiki practitioner and have been lucky to live without any Rx for most of my life. No superpowers needed, just a gut level belief that everything we need to be well is available to us now. I can't express how much early morning meditation has meant to my life. I use the guided meditations on the app Insight Timer. And then there is music. Empowering, girl-power music played in my earphones up loud. Think Sia, Pink, Shakira or Linda Ronstadt.
Any hockey fans here? Me either, but I do cheer on my local Colorado Avalanche who are in the Stanley Cup playoffs right now. Go Avs!!!
Stay well friends. We can do this.
Rori
Colorado Foothills
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Note too that depression isn't just feeling a bit sad or a little stressed. It's a medical condition. And it is OK to get help for a medical condition.
We'd get help for physical conditions ... we can also get help for mental health conditions.
Thankfully mental health is just as important as physical health these days. It's not something we sweep under the carpet anymore.
M in Oz
On depression ...
https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/depression
"Depression is different from usual mood fluctuations and short-lived emotional responses to challenges in everyday life. Especially when recurrent and with moderate or severe intensity, depression may become a serious health condition."
"During a depressive episode, the person experiences depressed mood (feeling sad, irritable, empty) or a loss of pleasure or interest in activities, for most of the day, nearly every day, for at least two weeks."
"During a depressive episode, the person experiences significant difficulty in personal, family, social, educational, occupational, and/or other important areas of functioning."
"Depression results from a complex interaction of social, psychological, and biological factors. People who have gone through adverse life events (unemployment, bereavement, traumatic events) are more likely to develop depression."
"Depending on the severity and pattern of depressive episodes over time, health-care providers may offer psychological treatments such as behavioural activation, cognitive behavioural therapy and interpersonal psychotherapy, and/or antidepressant medication such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) and tricyclic antidepressants (TCAs)."
"Antidepressants are not the first line of treatment for mild depression."
https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/depression
"While we all get sad, feel low or lacking in energy at times, people with depression experience these feelings more intensely and for longer. They can find it difficult to carry on with regular daily tasks during periods of depression."
A variation to have a look at is depression AND anxiety:
https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/depression-and-anxiety
In my case, I was going through overwhelming sadness and having meltdowns and ugly crying every day for about 2 months. I would cry over my husband. I would (fairly quietly) sob all the way home on the bus after seeing my husband in hospital. When I got home, I'd curl up in a ball on the floor and go into massive ugly rage crying. I was having trouble concentrating and dealing with things. Plus I was going through massive anxiety and having panic attacks. For several weeks, I couldn't go into a little local grocery store my husband and I used to visit. I'd walk in and pick up a few things, then would have to set the basket down and run out of the store because it felt like the roof was coming down on me and walls were closing in. I had chest pain and felt like I couldn't breathe. It took a while before I could go back to work because I would have a panic attack in the lobby. I had trouble going to my uni lectures because my husband was planning to attend some of them with me. I skipped several on and off (thankfully they were recorded), and when I felt I could attend, I sat right near the back so I could nip out and get some air if I needed.
Finally going onto antidepressants was such a relief. It was so nice to have my feelings calmed.
M in Oz7 -
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Have been following the anti-depressant comments with interest. I opted against medication at the moment but will revisit if necessary. I’m going to concentrate on exercise and sleep for right now.
My father finally got his prayers answered this morning when he “went home.” Prayers for us to get through the next few days, then I can concentrate on that sleep and exercise. Maybe even take my mama on a little road trip. We shall see. He lived a rich and full life, pretty healthy for most of his 93 years.17 -
Carla I feel you! My youngest daughter did not call my DH yesterday. When I texted her to ask if she had, her response was that they had been busy all day and were watching a movie! I too am angry and so disappointed in her! He bought them a fricking house! Yes, they are paying for it (or were until some things came up last Sept), but some gratitude and not attitude would be nice. I really am pissed!
Lanette Thank you for the link. I plan on sharing it with my SIL and my youngest daughter. Both of whom are definitely suffering with depression/anxiety worse than mine.
Thank you all for all of your comments and suggestions to Karen. I have things to learn about.
Sue Good to see you! My friend lost her hair after Covid at Christmas time. She finally had enough to go to the hairdresser about 2 weeks ago. She said the same thing, it is soft and curly. Still patchy, but wigs and hats have helped her through it.
Pip Great news for Yogi!
On to next page.
Kylia
the biggest side effect I had was also the hair loss after covid. The doctor did 13 blood tests trying to figure out why it was falling out-she said maybe it was stress after all the tests came back ok(I had covid the day after my dad passed away from it).It didn't fall out completely and my hair is very long and curly so most people didn't even notice it but I sure did, especially when I was washing it. Dr just told me to use Rogain. It took a while but it stopped falling out and it did grow back but my hair grows so slow that it will take a very long time to grow to the length of the rest-it is past my waist when wet/straight.
For my son, he lost his sense of smell- We both had it 1 1/2 yrs ago- he still can't smell most things.
Debbie4
https://youtu.be/bxABOiay6oA
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