Sexting in a relationship

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Replies

  • LavenderBouquet
    LavenderBouquet Posts: 736 Member
    This would be a giant "heck no" in my relationship. Totally cheating IMO.
  • meeper123
    meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
    that's still cheating period. the end.
  • GetSoda
    GetSoda Posts: 1,267 Member
    I'm just glad phone cameras have a panoramic feature now so I can get the D all in one shot.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    My husband actually encourages it...of course, that's also because I get paid to do it. The non-paid sexting is only with him or my boyfriend.

    And, to be honest, if he wanted to sext with another woman, I'd be fine with it.

    It's all about the rules of YOUR relationship, not someone else's.


    Why even be married?

    Um, why even say that? Just because somebody's relationship is outside of what you are personally comfortable with, it doesn't make it less valid.
  • MuseofSong
    MuseofSong Posts: 322 Member
    I think it ~really~ depends on the relationship.

    I've been in an open relationship before. That kind of stuff would have been no problem (although people didn't have camera phones back then), but there was also an honesty policy in place, so that no one got blind sided, and we had trust. That relationship was a positive one and even when it ended, it was amicable.

    However, in my current relationship, we discussed exclusiveness VERY early on, and it would be an absolute no go. No net-lationships, no sexting, nothing that could be construed as initiating sexual congress with another party, it is outside the parameters of our relationship. And, I'm 100% okay with that, too.

    The terms of the relationship should be discussed between the partners before this shizzle even comes up. It should never be a situation of "baby, it was just a picture." Or, 'texts don't mean anything.' That's bull and everyone knows it. ;)
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  • SweetLilyR
    SweetLilyR Posts: 283 Member
    Depends - are you willing to pay for it? :flowerforyou:
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  • cwkaty
    cwkaty Posts: 261 Member
    Totally depends on your relationship and what you and you SO fell comfortable with. Some people are OK with this and some aren't. To each their own.
  • arathena720
    arathena720 Posts: 449 Member
    Cheating...if I'm in a serious committed relationship, no way.
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    why expose your primary relationship, in which you've invested x y z, to that kind of risk? stupid.
  • JuantonBliss
    JuantonBliss Posts: 245 Member
    If I'm in any exclusive, keyword 'exclusive', relationship, then I would consider it to be cheating.
  • Toblave
    Toblave Posts: 244 Member
    I think it ~really~ depends on the relationship.

    I've been in an open relationship before. That kind of stuff would have been no problem (although people didn't have camera phones back then), but there was also an honesty policy in place, so that no one got blind sided, and we had trust. That relationship was a positive one and even when it ended, it was amicable.

    However, in my current relationship, we discussed exclusiveness VERY early on, and it would be an absolute no go. No net-lationships, no sexting, nothing that could be construed as initiating sexual congress with another party, it is outside the parameters of our relationship. And, I'm 100% okay with that, too.

    The terms of the relationship should be discussed between the partners before this shizzle even comes up. It should never be a situation of "baby, it was just a picture." Or, 'texts don't mean anything.' That's bull and everyone knows it. ;)

    I understand this and it makes sense but if I have to specify this and we have to clarify these rules then, to me, I'm in the wrong relationship. Fortunately, I found my soulmate a long time ago with virtually identical beliefs.

    I've been told on more than one occasion and by more than one person that that I live in the wrong decade; I have to agree.
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
    Sexting with someone who isn't your partner is cheating. It's a deal breaker. If you can't see that, your moral compass is broken.

    :laugh:
  • JuantonBliss
    JuantonBliss Posts: 245 Member
    My husband actually encourages it...of course, that's also because I get paid to do it. The non-paid sexting is only with him or my boyfriend.

    And, to be honest, if he wanted to sext with another woman, I'd be fine with it.

    It's all about the rules of YOUR relationship, not someone else's.


    Why even be married?

    Um, why even say that? Just because somebody's relationship is outside of what you are personally comfortable with, it doesn't make it less valid.

    freaks-and-geeks-fashion-7.jpg
  • Toblave
    Toblave Posts: 244 Member
    Sexting with someone who isn't your partner is cheating. It's a deal breaker. If you can't see that, your moral compass is broken.
    QFT
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
    OP does this post have anything to do with that fiancee who you were worried about how many months salary to spend on ur own engagement ring? Or would it have anything to do with one of his brothers who u were annoyed by their closeness on FB? Who is sexting who here..exactly?

    192-0707121335-Busted.GIF
  • griff7809
    griff7809 Posts: 611 Member
    Are you asking if it's OK to sext with someone other than your partner? I wouldn't care.



    SEXT sent.
  • griff7809
    griff7809 Posts: 611 Member
    Many people are into sex with children so I guess based on your immoral standards that is ok if they are personally ok with it.

    Define "immoral" please.
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
    My husband actually encourages it...of course, that's also because I get paid to do it. The non-paid sexting is only with him or my boyfriend.

    And, to be honest, if he wanted to sext with another woman, I'd be fine with it.

    It's all about the rules of YOUR relationship, not someone else's.


    Why even be married?

    Um, why even say that? Just because somebody's relationship is outside of what you are personally comfortable with, it doesn't make it less valid.

    Many people are into sex with children so I guess based on your immoral standards that is ok if they are personally ok with it.

    Did you just compare sexting between two consenting adults, to an adult having sex with a child? If you don't see the difference then I may suggest new "moral standards".
  • CollieFit
    CollieFit Posts: 1,683 Member
    My husband actually encourages it...of course, that's also because I get paid to do it.

    So exactly what line of 'business' are you in? :huh:

    And how does this sit with running for office?
  • CollieFit
    CollieFit Posts: 1,683 Member
    I wont even send my wife pics.... With my luck, she would leave her phone somewhere or loose and and my junk would be on public display or end up on some website.... lol.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,230 Member
    We were talking about this, in a more general sense, today. Basically we both feel that, unless there is specific agreement in a relationship, if the behaviour would reasonably upset your partner, its cheating, especially if you know in advance it would upset them. I wouldn't see the difference between my partner sexting and him talking dirty to some girl at work. In fact, putting it in text/photos would be worse. But if you and your partner agree, then fine.

    ETA: I can't believe that someone compared sexting/open relationship to kiddie-fiddling, however. :noway:
  • BoomstickChick
    BoomstickChick Posts: 428 Member
    Sounds like cheating to me.
  • afewexcuses
    afewexcuses Posts: 44 Member
    Well than.
  • afewexcuses
    afewexcuses Posts: 44 Member
    Given my man is military and we've been through a few deployments and countless trips to the field... This is normal for us. But when he is home we don't even really text. We get enough of that when he's not here. As far as doing it with other people its a definite no for our relationship.
  • torshi
    torshi Posts: 107 Member
    To me personally it sounds like cheating.
  • Briargrey
    Briargrey Posts: 498 Member
    My husband actually encourages it...of course, that's also because I get paid to do it. The non-paid sexting is only with him or my boyfriend.

    And, to be honest, if he wanted to sext with another woman, I'd be fine with it.

    It's all about the rules of YOUR relationship, not someone else's.

    Why even be married?

    Um, why even say that? Just because somebody's relationship is outside of what you are personally comfortable with, it doesn't make it less valid.

    Exactly. The world has a lot of grey in it that people refuse to see, especially in the US with sex stuff it seems. Get over your judgmental narrowness and realize that if it's okay and clear between both parties (my favourite phrase - Legal. Consenting. Adults) then it's okay for them. Period. It doesn't mean someone loves someone less - it means they define their relationship boundaries different than you. Big frickin' deal. :)

    And to the OP: Hey, in my relationship, we fantasize a lot and share those, we talk about it a lot and all that, but we know our comfort level is such that it stays in our bedroom between us. So if I sexted someone else or if he did, it would be cheating, because those are our parametres. If you're online asking if it's okay, you haven't sussed out your own parametres for your relationship, so I would suggest that common wisdom would consider the sexting cheating or at least borderline behaviour until you talk it out and decide if it's okay. If it is okay, then it's not cheating. And it's not up to anyone else to judge.
  • Briargrey
    Briargrey Posts: 498 Member
    Many people are into sex with children so I guess based on your immoral standards that is ok if they are personally ok with it.

    Oh look an uptight troll with an invalid and stupid argument. Children cannot give consent. What the person you are discussing is talking about is an agreement between legal, consenting adults.

    If it's between legal, consenting adults, then I don't give a flying rat's *kitten* what happens in their bedroom and neither should you as it is not harming you . Every party must be a legal, consenting adult - so don't make wild invalid claims like the above and even think you're being valid or rational, because you aren't.
  • SweetLilyR
    SweetLilyR Posts: 283 Member
    My husband actually encourages it...of course, that's also because I get paid to do it. The non-paid sexting is only with him or my boyfriend.

    And, to be honest, if he wanted to sext with another woman, I'd be fine with it.

    It's all about the rules of YOUR relationship, not someone else's.


    Why even be married?

    Um, why even say that? Just because somebody's relationship is outside of what you are personally comfortable with, it doesn't make it less valid.

    Many people are into sex with children so I guess based on your immoral standards that is ok if they are personally ok with it.
    Did you seriously just compare an open marriage between two consenting adults to being a pedophile? Wow. I can't even...

    If you really think that my LEGAL marriage is on the same level with molesting a child, then you need to re-evaluate your own beliefs and fix YOUR broken moral compass. What my husband and I do isn't hurting anyone, nor does it push our beliefs or morals onto anyone else. "Judge not, lest ye be judged", remember?

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