Sexting in a relationship

CollieFit

My husband actually encourages it...of course, that's also because I get paid to do it.

So exactly what line of 'business' are you in? :huh:

And how does this sit with running for office?

CollieFit

I wont even send my wife pics.... With my luck, she would leave her phone somewhere or loose and and my junk would be on public display or end up on some website.... lol.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Alatariel75

We were talking about this, in a more general sense, today. Basically we both feel that, unless there is specific agreement in a relationship, if the behaviour would reasonably upset your partner, its cheating, especially if you know in advance it would upset them. I wouldn't see the difference between my partner sexting and him talking dirty to some girl at work. In fact, putting it in text/photos would be worse. But if you and your partner agree, then fine.

ETA: I can't believe that someone compared sexting/open relationship to kiddie-fiddling, however. :noway:

BoomstickChick

Sounds like cheating to me.

afewexcuses

Well than.

afewexcuses

Given my man is military and we've been through a few deployments and countless trips to the field... This is normal for us. But when he is home we don't even really text. We get enough of that when he's not here. As far as doing it with other people its a definite no for our relationship.

torshi

To me personally it sounds like cheating.

Briargrey

My husband actually encourages it...of course, that's also because I get paid to do it. The non-paid sexting is only with him or my boyfriend.

And, to be honest, if he wanted to sext with another woman, I'd be fine with it.

It's all about the rules of YOUR relationship, not someone else's.

Why even be married?

Um, why even say that? Just because somebody's relationship is outside of what you are personally comfortable with, it doesn't make it less valid.

Exactly. The world has a lot of grey in it that people refuse to see, especially in the US with sex stuff it seems. Get over your judgmental narrowness and realize that if it's okay and clear between both parties (my favourite phrase - Legal. Consenting. Adults) then it's okay for them. Period. It doesn't mean someone loves someone less - it means they define their relationship boundaries different than you. Big frickin' deal.

And to the OP: Hey, in my relationship, we fantasize a lot and share those, we talk about it a lot and all that, but we know our comfort level is such that it stays in our bedroom between us. So if I sexted someone else or if he did, it would be cheating, because those are our parametres. If you're online asking if it's okay, you haven't sussed out your own parametres for your relationship, so I would suggest that common wisdom would consider the sexting cheating or at least borderline behaviour until you talk it out and decide if it's okay. If it is okay, then it's not cheating. And it's not up to anyone else to judge.

Briargrey

Many people are into sex with children so I guess based on your immoral standards that is ok if they are personally ok with it.

Oh look an uptight troll with an invalid and stupid argument. Children cannot give consent. What the person you are discussing is talking about is an agreement between legal, consenting adults.

If it's between legal, consenting adults, then I don't give a flying rat's *kitten* what happens in their bedroom and neither should you as it is not harming you . Every party must be a legal, consenting adult - so don't make wild invalid claims like the above and even think you're being valid or rational, because you aren't.

SweetLilyR

My husband actually encourages it...of course, that's also because I get paid to do it. The non-paid sexting is only with him or my boyfriend.

And, to be honest, if he wanted to sext with another woman, I'd be fine with it.

It's all about the rules of YOUR relationship, not someone else's.

Why even be married?

Um, why even say that? Just because somebody's relationship is outside of what you are personally comfortable with, it doesn't make it less valid.

Many people are into sex with children so I guess based on your immoral standards that is ok if they are personally ok with it.

Did you seriously just compare an open marriage between two consenting adults to being a pedophile? Wow. I can't even...

If you really think that my LEGAL marriage is on the same level with molesting a child, then you need to re-evaluate your own beliefs and fix YOUR broken moral compass. What my husband and I do isn't hurting anyone, nor does it push our beliefs or morals onto anyone else. "Judge not, lest ye be judged", remember?

SweetLilyR

My husband actually encourages it...of course, that's also because I get paid to do it.

So exactly what line of 'business' are you in? :huh:

And how does this sit with running for office?

I work nights as a phone "companion". It helps keep a roof over our heads and food on the table as well as an emergency fund for when the car breaks down or the pipes freeze.

As for running for office, apparently my constituents don't think that my little side job affects my ability to help run a town.

Carl01

My husband actually encourages it...of course, that's also because I get paid to do it. The non-paid sexting is only with him or my boyfriend.

And, to be honest, if he wanted to sext with another woman, I'd be fine with it.

It's all about the rules of YOUR relationship, not someone else's.

Why even be married?

Um, why even say that? Just because somebody's relationship is outside of what you are personally comfortable with, it doesn't make it less valid.

Many people are into sex with children so I guess based on your immoral standards that is ok if they are personally ok with it.

Dude,that is just wrong.

NC_Sean

Shady, shady. I believe if you're doing something you wouldnt do in front of your partner, then you probably shouldn't be doing it

yup.

pjlove1

My husband actually encourages it...of course, that's also because I get paid to do it. The non-paid sexting is only with him or my boyfriend.

And, to be honest, if he wanted to sext with another woman, I'd be fine with it.

It's all about the rules of YOUR relationship, not someone else's.

Why even be married?

Um, why even say that? Just because somebody's relationship is outside of what you are personally comfortable with, it doesn't make it less valid.

Exactly. The world has a lot of grey in it that people refuse to see, especially in the US with sex stuff it seems. Get over your judgmental narrowness and realize that if it's okay and clear between both parties (my favourite phrase - Legal. Consenting. Adults) then it's okay for them. Period. It doesn't mean someone loves someone less - it means they define their relationship boundaries different than you. Big frickin' deal.

And to the OP: Hey, in my relationship, we fantasize a lot and share those, we talk about it a lot and all that, but we know our comfort level is such that it stays in our bedroom between us. So if I sexted someone else or if he did, it would be cheating, because those are our parametres. If you're online asking if it's okay, you haven't sussed out your own parametres for your relationship, so I would suggest that common wisdom would consider the sexting cheating or at least borderline behaviour until you talk it out and decide if it's okay. If it is okay, then it's not cheating. And it's not up to anyone else to judge.

The "gray area" is for people that want to justify various perversions and lack of responsibility. It's also used to continuously push the envelope on social issues. You ever hear of NAMBLA?

JDBLY11

My husband actually encourages it...of course, that's also because I get paid to do it. The non-paid sexting is only with him or my boyfriend.

And, to be honest, if he wanted to sext with another woman, I'd be fine with it.

It's all about the rules of YOUR relationship, not someone else's.

Why even be married?

Because we love each other. Same reason most people get married. And shockingly, we've been married longer and are more in love with each other than any of our friends and family. 13 1/2 years together and still acting like newlyweds!

I would feel like I was cheating if I sexted with someone online. I met my husband online and did sext with some people before marriage, but now that would not be appropriate because he would not go along with it. It would be too easy to take it to real life if I was very attracted to the person, which is another reason my husband would not go along with it.

clarkeje1

Why not? It's a free country.

ribc4ges

It's cheating.
My boyfriend cheated on me for five months physically and once all that was out in the open and we were working on it, I found out he was still sexting all different girls via facebook, he was under the impression that it was okay but now on earth would that be okay? Why even be in a relationship if you're going to go off with other people.

tmanfromtexas

My husband actually encourages it...of course, that's also because I get paid to do it. The non-paid sexting is only with him or my boyfriend.

And, to be honest, if he wanted to sext with another woman, I'd be fine with it.

It's all about the rules of YOUR relationship, not someone else's.

Why even be married?

Because we love each other. Same reason most people get married. And shockingly, we've been married longer and are more in love with each other than any of our friends and family. 13 1/2 years together and still acting like newlyweds!

I would feel like I was cheating if I sexted with someone online. I met my husband online and did sext with some people before marriage, but now that would not be appropriate because he would not go along with it. It would be too easy to take it to real life if I was very attracted to the person, which is another reason my husband would not go along with it.

So, if he was alright with it then would you do it?

vtmoon

My husband actually encourages it...of course, that's also because I get paid to do it. The non-paid sexting is only with him or my boyfriend.

And, to be honest, if he wanted to sext with another woman, I'd be fine with it.

It's all about the rules of YOUR relationship, not someone else's.

Why even be married?

Um, why even say that? Just because somebody's relationship is outside of what you are personally comfortable with, it doesn't make it less valid.

Exactly. The world has a lot of grey in it that people refuse to see, especially in the US with sex stuff it seems. Get over your judgmental narrowness and realize that if it's okay and clear between both parties (my favourite phrase - Legal. Consenting. Adults) then it's okay for them. Period. It doesn't mean someone loves someone less - it means they define their relationship boundaries different than you. Big frickin' deal.

And to the OP: Hey, in my relationship, we fantasize a lot and share those, we talk about it a lot and all that, but we know our comfort level is such that it stays in our bedroom between us. So if I sexted someone else or if he did, it would be cheating, because those are our parametres. If you're online asking if it's okay, you haven't sussed out your own parametres for your relationship, so I would suggest that common wisdom would consider the sexting cheating or at least borderline behaviour until you talk it out and decide if it's okay. If it is okay, then it's not cheating. And it's not up to anyone else to judge.

The "gray area" is for people that want to justify various perversions and lack of responsibility. It's also used to continuously push the envelope on social issues. You ever hear of NAMBLA?

What is it with people comparing adult relationships as the same as a relationship with children? Again, HUGE difference between consenting adults having a relationship, and an adult having a relationship with a child! :noway:

LtChuckSmiley

Sexting someone else is cheating on your partner, period. It's practically the same thing as having a physically sexual relationship with another partner.