WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR FEBRUARY 2023

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  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,690 Member
    @KetoneKaren ... why annoyed and miffed? Why not relieved you can put this all behind you?

    You don't have to answer me.

    M in Oz
  • ginnytez
    ginnytez Posts: 1,411 Member
    Karen-we can only take things one step at a time. Your son may be expressing the best forgiveness of which he is capable. We put ourselves in awkward positions by wanting something more than someone has. Regarding grandchildren-blended families are just never easy. I am fortunate that my stepson and family affirm that I am their grandmother-but that is due to a very disjointed relationship (or lack there of) he has with his mother. Give it more time. The kids will most likely treat each other as cousins regardless of what son says. And he may become more accepting. I am so happy you had a good tea and dinner-much progress!

    Allie-I think Barbie provided a good summary. Many families are going through the same struggles right now. They also went through the pandemic and all of that disruption during this time.

    Those of you announcing the finishing of your taxes are getting me to start thinking about doing mine. I use TaxAct. I could probably do it all myself on the IRS website but I like the reminder questions.

    Happy to report printer is working normally after a couple of more cleanings this morning. Persistence and patience paid off (I admit I was tempted to just go buy a new one!)

    Lots of sneezing this morning, throat a bit scratchy and nose runny. I do hope I'm not getting a full blown cold. I took a test this a.m.-negative for Covid. Hopefully a passing allergy thing from dusting under beds yesterday.

    Off to get some things done before going to see wrestling and basketball (oh, and visit with parents too!)

    Take care all,

    Ginny in Ohio
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,789 Member
    edited February 2023
    Allie - It's awful when we feel so powerless to help someone. Our heart bleeds for them. But you saying that the parents just want the old daughter back is hugely telling. We all need to be loved for just who we are, as we are. As Oprah says, when someone is behaving badly, we need to ask, "What happened to you?" I feel so much for that child with that awful angry father and the doted on baby. Big hugs for you in the middle of all this. <3

    Karen - I wrote my reply before I had seen yours. <3 I seem to remember you thinking that your son might be somewhere on the spectrum. Whatever, his distorted thinking is not your responsibility or anything you will be able to do anything about. We are all limited people, some more than others. You know what they say, "Your opinion of me is none of my business." He is making sense of his life in the best, limited way he can. He cannot help being him. Just be glad you are not in his head. You can be happy, even with the big difference in your life-styles and values. The past is gone, finished, over. We only have the present and we only have to answer to ourselves.
    You are a super-sensitive person, an empath. Your new challenge in life is to distinguish between your feelings and other people's. It's OK to feel miffed. Feel it, explore it, delve into it, and then look at it from a higher place. You don't have to like your son, or agree with him. You 'love' him, but that's as far as it goes.
    Only you can make yourself unhappy. It's your choice. There will never be a meeting of minds.
    I am sure you will be able to resolve all this in your mind. It just has to 'click'. You are a very special person. <3

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
  • kymarai
    kymarai Posts: 3,729 Member
    Heather UK I have been told I am an empath too. It is hard to not let other's feelings and emotions not have an effect on me. It is so hard! Even with my DH. He gets pissy and I have to remind myself that it is his frustration not mine. So what I have I learned from this group about me....I am a perfectionist with procrastination issues, an empath who needs to learn to put up some walls to other's feelings, and I am not too old to change for the better!

    Learning about Gold investments today. Will work on that for awhile, then most likely dust farm house (since DH keeps mentioning that things are dusty-LOL!) Funny that he notices here but not at home. ;) Easy to do here in Kentucky as there is little clutter on flat areas! Then I have work stuffs to do. I missed over 4 hours on Friday due to lawyer meeting and errand running with DH. Why does it take over an hour anytime you have to go to a bank for anything other than a deposit?

    Hugs!
    Congratulations!
    Love!

    Kylia
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 17,357 Member
    Welcome all new peeps
  • minicooper452
    minicooper452 Posts: 651 Member
    (((hugs))) to those who need them.

    I've written myself a note to remind me to tell you what I think of the book when I'm finished, Barbara! So far, the one thing I do like about it is, that everyone in the book is connected to Granny and Elsa (the seven-year-old protagonist)

    Karen, am I understanding this correctly? Your son treated you and your spouse differently at dinner so you're just assuming that he's "forgiven you", when you weren't at fault in the first place. (and yes, I've read everything you wrote to Machka too, just proves my point) And then when did he tell your grandchildren that your spouse is not their grandma and her grandchildren are not their cousins? Sounds to me like you have every right to be annoyed and miffed if you want to. Thank God for Jilli! What a strong individual she must be. Must have gotten that from her gram!

    That's the way things should be, Kylia! Kudos to you for making it happen for your children and grands!

    Debbie, so many prayers for Destiny. That little girl is so strong and courageous.

    So glad you have a housefull before they all leave, Gwamma-lee! What fun for you.

    19-Show sincere appreciation when someone serves you food or drink... every time!
    Love and Blessings, Carla, in MN
  • kevrit
    kevrit Posts: 4,390 Member
    Word of the year: APPRECIATE; today I appreciate the walking trails at my park.
    #2 Practice fairness today by putting yourself in someone else’s shoes: I did this with a camper who I received complaints about. I put myself in his shoes when speaking with him. He was a very lonely man who only had his dogs (one barking, one loose) and the people he meets at campgrounds. Made me more compassionate when talking to him about the dogs.

    #3 Watch a movie that reminds you of kindness. I watched the Adam Project.
    #4 Take a picture of 3 things that make you happy. Send them to a friend. Done!
    #5 Be kind to yourself. Self-compassion is equally important. Will do today.
    #6 Start a conversation with someone new. I do this every day with the campers!
    #7 Consider a current struggle. Write down 2 thoughts that give you comfort. My dog Brownie’s heart trouble. Her spells are getting worse and there is nothing the vet can do. Comforting thoughts—She lived a good life with us. She brought us many days of comfort and enjoyment with her loving attitude.
    #8. Consider and celebrate diversity today. I am a white girl living among darker Mexicans and native Americans. Campers come from around the world and love to hear the accents and learn about the different cultures i come into contact with. Do this every day!
    #9. Identify a role model who embodies perseverance. Can you find two ways to emulate them? My 30 year old autistic nephew. He never gives up no matter what health challenge he faces. I can emulate him by not complaining about every little ache and pain, and by doing what needs to be done to get through any health issues that may come up.
    #10. Check an item off your to-do list this weekend. Working on my taxes.
    #11. Make twice as much for dinner and either invite guests or deliver the meal to a friend. We give food to people all the time. My DH cooks and we give food to different campers and workers here at the park almost every day!
    #12. Make a list for the week ahead so you stay focused. Done
    #13. Consider a recent disagreement. Did you extend forgiveness? After I bough myself a Sonic blast to ‘cool down’.
    #14. Express creativity by making art or cooking a new meal. I write in a journal that has writing prompts I have to make up stories for. Yesterday I wrote a short story about a dog leash!
    #15. If you are waiting in line today, let someone get in front of you. May not be today, but i did do it on Sunday!
    #16. The next time someone does something you appreciate, be sure to let them know. Will do! Didn’t have the opportunity but will watch for a chance today!
    17. Offer a helping hand to someone, such as holding a door for a stranger. I may have a chance today.
    #18. Share about a recent book you read and what you learned. I just finished reading ‘Everything You Are’ by Kerry Anne King. It dealt with alcoholism, recovery, death, and grieving. I learned that no matter where you are in life, never give up and find a way to celebrate life.
    #19. Show sincere appreciation when someone serves you food or drink. Did this today. DH made me pancakes and served me coffee this morning.
    #20. Complement someone today. Ideas include recognizing a great smile or earrings.
    #21. When you recognize someone is struggling, offer words of support.
    #22. Ask for help. That’s a simple way to express bravery.
    #23. Encourage your teammates to utilize their unique strengths.
    #24. Reflect on the steps you have taken to achieve your past goals.
    #25. Express gratitude today by thanking someone.
    #26. Think about the upcoming work week. How can you apply teamwork?
    #27. Send or leave a handwritten thank you note to someone.
    #28. Giving constructive feedback is one way to ignite honesty.

    Rita
  • kevrit
    kevrit Posts: 4,390 Member
    Anniesquats100 wrote: »
    Hello ladies!
    I got my taxes done, Yay! For some reason it was extra mysterious this year. For example, TurboTax asked me what was in box 16 and there was no box 16. I did my best so I just have to let it go.

    Annie in Delaware

    My taxes were weird too! I put the standard deduction in the box as the instructions said, but it kept getting denied saying I put the wrong number in. I finally put in the one they wanted me to and now it is ok. Didn’t matter as I didn’t have any taxable income anyway!

    Rita
  • GodMomKim
    GodMomKim Posts: 3,708 Member
    :)
  • Snowflake1968
    Snowflake1968 Posts: 6,979 Member
    Michele - doesn’t the post office deliver to whatever address is marked on the package? That’s what happens here.

    Terri - I emptied some clothes out for both DH and I when I was packing us to go to NB. There were things that didn’t fit that we hadn’t worn for years. I noticed some of my winter clothes will be taking a hike at the end of the season too.

    Karen - I can understand the feeling miffed part it’s like you finally received something that should have been given years ago. I would struggle to not be resentful about all of the wasted time. I’m happy your son acted appropriately though.

    Ginny - I have to attempt to get a printer running too. When they aren’t used regularly they just don’t work well.

    Heather - we assumed my FIL had all of his end of life things in order, he had called two years ago asking if my DH would be a co-executor of his will. He talked about what they were doing. It was a shock to us that it wasn’t done. It’s now left to my MIL to make decisions. She’s making them based on what he wanted at the detriment of her own financial security.
    I’m glad you enjoyed your company.

    Allie - I am so glad I’m not raising teenagers today. What a terrible time they must have. If Carmine only thought about changing after a video and the friends did it, maybe part of his anger is he doesn’t know how to get back to his true self whatever that may be.
    I hope he gets a lot of help soon. It would be scaring me how depressed he is.
    Hugs to you. It must be so hard to witness.

    I am going to organize records today. I have to figure out where to store the ones we brought out from DH’s Dad. It’s going to be work.

    Tracey in Edmonton
  • kevrit
    kevrit Posts: 4,390 Member
    I’m not sure why I removed the ‘RV’ from my name. It was there to remind people I live in an RV. I think I’m putting it back! Fits me better for this time in my life!

    Lannette I do not have solar but have a generator in the RV. I’ve been here 5.5 years now and (cross my fingers) have never been out of electricity for more than a day. The generator powers the entire RV so if power does go out, We just need to feed it gas.

    I brought my taxes to HRBlock only once. They did my taxes and charged me what I thought was a huge amount. I then re-did it using Taxcut software and got back 5 times what my refund would have been. So, since that experiment, I went back to doing my own taxes. Always have, even when selling houses and moving.

    I did them on the IRS website this year. First time for that. Easy enough as I have no deductions and they check for mistakes when you submit it. Much of the “math” is done automatically too. No money paid into taxes, nothing taxable, so no refund. Just an exercise in formality.

    Time to get moving. Enjoy the day. Remember….. it is good or bad because of how you react and make of it.

    RVRita.
  • Anniesquats100
    Anniesquats100 Posts: 3,306 Member
    Well I finished dinner at 103 calories over. So I need about 250 calories of exercise to make that up and have a little something to eat tonight, and end up calorie neutral for the day. This is getting closer to routine for me.

    I read a little about the book "Atomic Habits" online. It looks like very wise advice.

    Allie the situation with Carmine is so tough. I don't know where they will go from here, but all you can do is love them. And maybe check the county website for low cost counseling, although you probably did that way back sometime.

    Annie in Delaware, who is also glad that her challenges are on a smaller scale.
  • Whidislander
    Whidislander Posts: 3,894 Member
    Machka9 wrote: »
    Machka9 wrote: »
    Only if you're interested in doing something like this as we go along ...

    Feel Good Feb and/or Exercising the Alphabet in February
    Feel Good Feb
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    https://www.actbelongcommit.org.au/programs-initiatives/feelgood-feb/

    Exercising the Alphabet in February

    In other words, on February 1, you'd walk to a street that starts with A or do an exercise video hosted by someone whose name starts with A or something ... A.

    On February 2, you'd go swimming at a Beach or play a game of Baseball or something ... B.

    On February 3, you'd go Cycling or Climb some stairs or something ... C.

    and so on.

    There are, of course, 26 letters in the alphabet and 28 days in February, so you'd have 2 free days if you didn't exercise those days or couldn't fit in the next letter of the alphabet.
    I have listed several January highlights so that meets the calendar suggestion for February 1...

    And I walked to the Asian "dollar store" next to the Asian grocers and bought Art supplies at lunch today. That'll be my A. :)

    Put myself in someone else's shoes --- I've been treating my difficult work colleague with kindness by talking to her about her son, complimenting her skirt, talking quietly and gently to her and so on.

    And today, I walked to Bathurst Street to Buy some Books. I also climbed stairs in my Building. :)

    Watch a movie that reminds me of kindness --- probably not tonight!

    C is for Climbing and walking on Collins St!

    Take a picture of three things that make you happy --

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    D is for exercising Downstairs!
    Rowing - 16 minutes
    Walking - 38 minutes
    Weights - 10 minutes

    Be kind to yourself -- Sleep, gardening and cycling! :)

    E is for Exercising!
    Plus we cycled on Endeavour Ave and the Esplanade. :)

    Start a conversation with someone new --- I'm not the sort to strike up random conversations, or conversations at all. But I did chat with a person I met recently and one I haven't seen in a few months today.

    And ... F!
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    Consider a current struggle. Write down two thoughts that bring you comfort.

    Hmmm ... A current struggle, like only one? Let's go with waiting. I feel like I spend most of my life waiting.

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    And a walk to the botanical Gardens through the rose Garden!
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    Consider and celebrate diversity! Does that include people who look at things completely differently than you do? If so ... woohoo! I've had that opportunity today!

    H is for Hobart - walking around. And Hanging clothes outside.

    Identify a role model who embodies perseverance and find 2 ways to emulate them.

    Well, I don't have role models ... and I've persevered as much or possibly even more than many people I know.

    However, today was brought to you by the letter I. I did walk by and around IMAS (Institute for Marine and Antarctic Studies).

    Check an item off your to do list this weekend!

    YES! I tidied a shelf in the kitchen. I've been meaning to do that for months but finally did it today. There was a large quantity of rubbish on that shelf ... more than I thought. So, much of the cleaning process was just throwing things out.

    I've also been dusting our entertainment unit and all the stuff on it.

    And I went outside and tidied the area right in front of our front door which involved moving a whole bunch of pots and other garden things to a different location and then sweeping out a year's worth of leaves and stuff. I climbed up and down and up and down stairs doing that.

    This evening I made an attempt at digging the area I want to plant things next to my dry stream. I got a new spade which is great, but even so, there are so many roots, I'll need to use something else to break it up.

    Just getting rid of Junk and Jabbing the Soil

    Make twice as much for dinner and either invite guests or deliver a meal to a friend ...

    We're actually doing that sort of dinner thing on Tuesday.

    Meanwhile, all my exercise was in K ... Kingborough today!

    Cycling:
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    Heaving a heavy mattock in the garden:
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    And walking our Kitty, Rhody. :)

    Make a list for the week ahead so you stay focused.

    I have one massive ongoing things to do list with the most urgent things at the top.

    L
    Walking exercised my Legs.
    Gardening exercised all my Limbs!

    Consider a recent disagreement. Did you extend forgiveness?
    Yes.
    I don't like being at odds with people.

    M
    Meandering around Bunnings.
    Moving the Mattock.

    Express creativity! I finished another version of my Project Plan!! That's as creative as I had a chance to be today.

    N = Nowhere
    I walked the stairs to nowhere and the road to nowhere.
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    If you are in line today, let someone go ahead of you. I do every now and then. :)

    O - walking Rhody near home.

    The next time someone does something you appreciate, let them know. I did today! :)

    P - Perusing the shops today while it rained outside and Purchasing a few things.

    Offer a helping hand to someone such as holding the door for a stranger. I do this now and then ... probably about once a week. :)

    Q is for Queen.

    My lunch walk was around the Queen's Domain!

    Share about a recent book you read and what you learned.

    The recent books I have read have been fictional mystery/suspense, and I have confirmed I like this genre for relaxation and stress relief.

    R is for Rocks.
    Hauling rocks. Placing rocks.

    And walking Rhody.

    Show sincere appreciation when someone serves you food or drink. I always thank my husband when he serves dinner. :)

    S is for ... Sifting and Shovelling through Soil. Gardening ... I was gardening.


    We also had a look inside our hive ... and we're going to have our mentor help us because they've cross combed but otherwise, it's looking good.

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    Machka in Oz

    Your bees look happy and busy! What an amazing hobby.💖👍🏻
    Rebecca
    Whidbey
    Wa
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    ❤️
  • Anniesquats100
    Anniesquats100 Posts: 3,306 Member
    I did thirty minutes of aerobic walking so now I'm at 16 calories over, which is close enough to neutral. Yay!

    Maybe I will walk a few more minutes later, but right now my dad is taking down the little Christmas houses, so I better stay out of his way.

    Annie in Delaware

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