WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JANUARY 2024
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I am currently reading a book called 'The Science of Stuck', by Britt Frank. I'm not stuck, but I was interested in her after I saw her share a video with Dawn, Minimal Mom. She seemed very sensible and had good things to say.
One thing that she is keen on is taking micro steps towards something you want to do, but feel stuck about. I've been doing that for years with my writing, breaking down 'getting to the page' into tiny steps, like, I know how to go fetch my laptop, I know how to turn it on, etc.
I have always found this very helpful with scary things, like writing a book, or painting a canvas.
My friend L is always berating herself for not writing, or not being creative. It's always a 'one-day' project. Fear of failure keeps her back.
Two approaches help me. One the micro steps, and second the attitude of 'play'. We can be so hampered by feeling we have to get things 'right'. If we can adopt the attitude of a small child, just playing, just experimenting, just trying things out, making mistakes and trying again, or just deciding, well, that's not for me, but I tried it, our lives can expand hugely.
I have got so much better at this in recent years.
Perfectionism be gone!
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx4 -
Heather: The book sounds interesting! I decided a few years ago that I was going to be a dabbler. I would explore and follow my curiosity and not pressure myself to excel. So far I have tried Mandarin and Calligraphy, pottery, a writing course and I am presently trying knitting. I need to select a theme for next summer. As the GA weather becomes very hot it is good to have a theme to stay content indoors!
I tried taking Melatonin tonight and slept for 3 hours. But now it is 3:30 am and I am wide awake. I have de-cluttered the dining room table and put pictures of my DH into picture frames.
I will be exhausted in the morning!
Best,
Rosemarie from Georgia9 -
Michele-calf stretch is using the slant board. They had me standing on it with both feet (very traditional). They have added one foot on board, other leg behind me-a bit of a lunge on the board.They will have me do it again today and it will drill it into my memory better (I usually need a couple of times with them before I can describe it well!). Foam rollers help with some things but for me it is more like a spot specific if that makes sense.
Rosemarie-I woke up at close to 3:30 and have work today. I did get in a good 6.5 hours so I will just go with it. Part of it is checking on weather (staff were hoping we would close today, I doubt it, but keeping an eye out. We will make a decision by 6-but county almost never closes. The wild part is majority of staff work from home on Fridays . . .
I'm going to get my kitchen cleaned up right now (which really means emptying and reloading dishwasher!) and a workout in before I shower and start work.
Take care all
Ginny in Ohio4 -
cityjaneLondon wrote: »I am currently reading a book called 'The Science of Stuck', by Britt Frank. I'm not stuck, but I was interested in her after I saw her share a video with Dawn, Minimal Mom. She seemed very sensible and had good things to say.
One thing that she is keen on is taking micro steps towards something you want to do, but feel stuck about. I've been doing that for years with my writing, breaking down 'getting to the page' into tiny steps, like, I know how to go fetch my laptop, I know how to turn it on, etc.
I have always found this very helpful with scary things, like writing a book, or painting a canvas.
My friend L is always berating herself for not writing, or not being creative. It's always a 'one-day' project. Fear of failure keeps her back.
Two approaches help me. One the micro steps, and second the attitude of 'play'. We can be so hampered by feeling we have to get things 'right'. If we can adopt the attitude of a small child, just playing, just experimenting, just trying things out, making mistakes and trying again, or just deciding, well, that's not for me, but I tried it, our lives can expand hugely.
I have got so much better at this in recent years. Perfectionism be gone!
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
I'm probably kind of repeating things here ...
In observing what my husband chooses to do or not do, I've started to realise that he, I and others have a "Too Hard Basket". When we hit a wall with something ... when we're not sure where to begin or what exactly we want to do ... it goes into the "Too Hard Basket". Once something is in the "Too Hard Basket" it doesn't get done or if some effort is made, it's to try to pass it off to someone else.
For example, recently, my uncle and I had an email conversation where I was requesting Step 1 of a project and for whatever reason the entire project kept ending up back in my lap (and Step 1 was not mentioned). Suddenly I realised that Step 1 had gone into his "Too Hard Basket", and rather than addressing Step 1, he repeatedly told me I should do the whole thing.
I see this happen at home and at work too. I ask for something and it's either ignored or I'm bombarded with vague reasons why it can't be done. And I do it too ... there are things I want to do, but it's easier to ignore them. Why does this happen? Because whatever it is has been plonked into the "Too Hard Basket".
How do we get it out of the "Too Hard Basket"?
- break it down into small steps.
- try something ... anything ... take a shot ... experiment.
- do one thing, even if it is just step 1 of step 1 of step 1.
- do something physically active. As odd as this might sound, when I seem to hit a wall with whatever I'm working on, going for a walk, or climbing stairs or something can often get me going again. Plus walking or climbing stairs or something like that gives me a feeling of accomplishment.
- talk about it to someone else. I did this yesterday ... struggling with one aspect of the work project I'm doing, chatted about it, and suddenly things came clear
- just do it! I have to do this with paying bills and things like that. It only takes an hour about once a month to handle that sort of paperwork, but I do struggle to get going with it.
And to help others ...
- offer assistance such as breaking it down into small steps for the other person and offering to do the first of the small steps.
- offer to be a sounding board.
- take the person out for a walk and chat.
Machka in Oz5 -
Morning ladies
I see alot of us were up at 3:30 this morning.. I got about 7 hrs in almost,but know I will be tired later..
Oh well Im watching the little guy today..I know he will wear me out lol ,but a fun wearing out.
Im hoping to finish the shoe rack today later on..i got most of it done.Tommorow I go up to the adoption place to adopt Siri..she is at Doris' house..but have to do the paperwork and pay adoption fee.
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If you are reading this close to the time I'm posting it 3:00 AM PST, then we might have something in common. I haven't introduced myself here, but I have enjoyed reading the posts. So, I thought I might drop a note and say, "Hi."
My name is Michelle. I am a retired teacher. I am 53 years old and the mother of eight (mine, yours, ours, and neither of ours.) Our youngest is 13 our oldest is 34. I can talk more about that later when the topic comes up. Also, I am married to a wonderful man who loves me very much. I'm truly blessed.
Now for why I'm up so late/early; I have insomnia and, by extension, NES (Nighttime Eating Syndrome). Yesterday was a difficult day. I just couldn't get it together. Writing this helps; It keeps me occupied with something other than food. Actually, though, my real problem is that I am addicted to Dr. Pepper. My food numbers would come in reasonable if I could kick the soda, but it's so hard.
I eat healthy; and my husband, having learned how to cook most of my recipes, does most of the cooking. (He has come up with a few recipes on his own, Yum.) However, he can't make my soups or my pots of beans. I'm soaking a pot of red beans right now. Can't wait for tomorrow after I cook them and can have some, delicioso.)
I have a variety of soups that I make, and now that the weather is so cold, I'm going to break out the large pots and get to making some. I might also make some oatmeal cookies, for the kids of course.
Well, If there is anyone up, drop me a note. I'll be here for a while.
Michelle in NV
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Slept a little over 11 hours last night ... but I do get up about 3 times in the night for a short nature visit.
a. I am indeed that fatigued.
b. I had a little help from an antihistamine.
Dreams ... I have lots of very vivid dreams and repetitive dreams. I'm usually in some sort of stressful situation and trying to solve the problem.
- During the most stressful months of our legal battle, I frequently had war dreams - dreams that an army was approaching my town, then invaded my town and took me and many others captive. That's how the dream starts, and as it continues, I plot my escape and begin to carry it out. All very frightening and exciting. I haven't that dream for a while, until last night.
- I have had a couple dreams of my ex-husband in the last couple nights ... probably because I have been thinking about him recently.
- I also have a lot of dreams about water. Ice, snow, streams, rivers, ponds, lakes, oceans, swimming pools, you name it. Sometimes I'm swimming or floating in the water. Sometimes I'm on a boat or raft on the water. Sometimes I'm sliding down a water slide or stream (I was doing that in a dream last night) ... or the stream/hill is frozen and I'm sliding down the snow or ice like I'm on a luge or toboggan. Sometimes I'm escaping from captivity by somehow making my way through water or on water.
Today was a relaxing day and I ended up spending most of the afternoon reading!!
And I've finally just started taking a few Christmas decorations down.
Machka in Oz
PS. It's 10:22 pm here.
It's still 2 hours till bedtime. 5 -
Good morning ladies!
We have an inch or so of snow already and expect maybe five inches today. I don't expect my sister's flight to go through. I just hope she doesn't get stuck at the airport.
We have filled the trash bin again, so there's a limit to the decluttering we can do. Or am I kidding myself? I have six flower arrangements that will be more trash by Monday night when they come. The vultures come and peck at the bags if they aren't in the bin. So maybe, maybe not.
Annie in Delaware4 -
Betsy in NW WA0 -
Michelle in NV, Welcome! Come back and sit a spell, talk to us, drop into any conversations that interest you, ask a question or add your two cents in advice. We're glad you're here. Same to Sarah and anyone else who's new. It's a wide-open group, share only what you're comfortable with.
Tracey - It makes me so happy that your daughter and son-in-law's fund for IVF has topped $7,000 already. I hope so much that they can put together enough for another try this year.
Allie - I was up at 3:30am your time, but was able to go back to sleep, thank goodness.
Annie - If your garbage men are good about coming about the same time, you might set a watch alarm and get the extra bags out very near the time they'll pick up. Mine have too wide a time when they might show up - it's very frustrating.
Regarding doing something different/intimidating/scary: I know it sounds minor, but I'm trying to kick myself out of several very deeply carved ruts of late. New yarns that I've never used, new crochet stitches, new quilting techniques like using applique, creating in 3D with clay, new art creations using more than one media. Just trying not to do the same thing I've always done in the same ways. It takes some mental effort, I will agree!
Lots of chores stretching out in front of me, laundry, dishes, a beer run for Corey, fill the bird feeder, water the plants, and so on... hope it is or was a good day for all!
Love y'all,
Lisa in AR8 -
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Rosemarie Did you ever get to the Southern part of the state? Las Cruzes, Deming, Roswell?Rosemarie2972 wrote: »Beth: Yesterday I went to the rescue and then to the Coin counter at the Kroger. Alas it was broken and a technician had been called. I was disappointed and still have the coins sitting in my car. Congrats on your decluttering! My trunk is full of boxes for donations! I hate that the house looks like it is in dis-array when it is really cleaner!
RV Rita: Did I tell you I lived 2 years in New Mexico in the 80's. I loved Sante Fe and Taos!
I am not sleeping at night. The night goes on forever. I am going to try melatonin and see if this helps. I am cooking some asparagus and salmon for lunch. No energy today and can't get focused. Might just listen to an audio book and hope I can accomplish something this evening!
Best,
Rosemarie from Georgia
RVRita in NM1 -
Snowflake1968 wrote: »Rori - I hope you have a great trip.
I have not adapted to audio or e books. I had been thinking about a dreaded but have found throughout my course that I am not retaining as well without a physical page. I have had to print several sections of my textbooks out to get it to sink in.
Heather - I think a cuddle session in the afternoon is just wonderful. There was a song called Afternoon Delight. 😉 We have had to take cuddles when we can since DH is working and living a night shift life this Winter.
I love your painting.
Lanette - I am doing calf exercises now too and I think something is helping. Certainly not perfect, but a marked improvement. Hopefully it lasts. I haven’t been on my feet a lot this week purposely.
I understand your need to get out, I am a social person and need that interaction with others to thrive. DH is a quiet man so I end up talking to strangers a lot too. 😂
Margaret - I’m sorry you have to deal with that at this time.
Lisa - A good nights sleep sure makes a huge difference on our outlooks.
Rita - I understand you’re cold growing up. I used to sleep with my clothes tucked under the blanket and at my feet each night. A lot of times I would get dressed while under the covers too. We didn’t have hot running water or a bathtub so I always washed my hair in ice cold water in the kitchen sink. Funny, I can’t imagine living like that now and would not be willing to.
When my daughter was in grade two, her B of a a teacher told her that she coloured worse than a kindergartener. That was such an insult my daughter refused to colour for years. She took up adult colouring a few years ago though and really enjoys it and is good at it.
Beth - you are making headway on your decluttering. 20 years of loose coins could be a surprise windfall!
Another ceramics session started tonight. There are a couple of Christmas pieces I want to do for myself, I started one tonight. She also has a large pot belly stove I want to do, I will wait until Rodger builds my new shelving unit for that though as I currently don’t have a place to put it.
Kaitlyn’s find will be over $7k tonight after her friend does their match. They are getting closer to the goal. If this momentum keeps up maybe I will have another grandchild by the end of the year. I am praying so hard that it continues to grow for them.
Well I should go to bed, class again tomorrow. I’m looking forward to the weekend.
Tracey in Edmonton
Tracy Did you or your sister go to Catholic school by chance? The coloring disgrace reminded me of mine, along with my drawing and writing neatness. I still don’t have the best handwriting but am trying the calm drawing book for now and find I can now draw a leaf properly! LOL I love the adult coloring book. I am doing a unicorn book right now for coloring. It actually has the history behind each unicorn and where the story about it was told. Having fun with that. I’ll have to post a couple of finished ones for you all. As for handwriting, I have tried and have that on my hobby list to begin again. It did help and I will combine it with homemade greeting cards (maybe draw?) for 4 of my hobby goals this year. HMMM. That gives me an idea for Mother’s Day. (Who else appreciates what we draw and puts up on the fridge?)LOL.
I’ve got all the granny squares done for the blanket. I just need to sort and set up for a pattern as I’ve used up a lot of excess yarn with that afghan.
RVRita in Roswell6 -
I would say that the scheduling was a hit! Definitely keep that in the rota. Next time I thought we might try a different room.
Never too old to learn something new.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx5 -
Today is a day to experiment! Popcorn day!! Yummy! And in honor of Heather’s scheduling!
RVrita3 -
Here are some unicorns for you!
12 -
Today’s gratitude: over 6 hours of uninterrupted, dreamless, sleep. Refreshed for new day.
Beth your random art supplies that you’ve had since grade school, makes me feel a little better about the unfinished embroidery project I’ve had since High School ;}
Well done Rita! Both those crafts look fun and non-threatening.
Kim “fried salty dish sponge” rotflmao!
Michele ah that makes sense. I wouldn’t want to trade a secure cap for a chancy temporary before traveling either. Thanks.
Tracey “sleep with my clothes tucked under the blanket and at my feet each night. A lot of times I would get dressed while under the covers too.” This was me too at campfire girl camp. No heat in the cabins. I actually volunteered for KP as the mess hall kitchen was warm
As for your daughter’s B of a 2nd grade teacher, can only trust in Karma. . . Glad DD’s enjoying coloring in adulthood. Keep stretching and I’ll keep praying your foot improves
Machka “Give things a go ... if you don't like them, no worries, you don't have to continue. But if you discover you do like them ... fantastic!” Brava! You give me food for thought. Really lgreat insights on the “too hard basket” (that would be deep cleaning the house so I could tackle some improvements, paint, getting pictures up on the walls, rearrange living room furniture, et cetera et cetera et cetera). Likewise your “to help others” sounds kind, gentle and helpful, if only I can keep the judgemental tone out of my voice. How dast I judge others when I can not keep my own standards. SMH.
Heather, glad tumeric’s helping your legs. Is it a supplement or fresh root?
“perfectionism be gone” and “adopt the attitude of play” More fuel for thought.. and first steps?
Rosemarie “dabbler” Love it.
Welcome @anmimzdiet Michelle in NV! Missed the 3:30 am PST group this morning, but was here then day before. . . Sorry to hear about the Dr. Pepper jones. I was a two Coca Cola (classic) a day-er, until New Coke (remember that?)
Rita your unicorns, the history, but most especially your color choices and shading. Well done!
1/18: Move: 1 sets PT, beach stroll with T. Steps: 6292Oops, sit timer just bonged. Time to tackle the laundry.Later, lighter, lovelies!
Fuel: sugar in vs mfp=0 CI<CO net=105 vits=0.5
Live: Joe, readings, BP, ptT, ptS, Post Office, hot tub. Wt:132.9
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
January: Move more: dailyish PT, play with dogs, more steps than yesterday.
Fuel better: less sugar, CI<CO, dailyish vitamins. more AF days than not.
Live NOW: dailyish time with Joe, dogs, readings, Hebrew, meditation.
Open heart and mind before mouth.
2024: Strengthen: body, mind, heart-connections
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Well it snowed for two days now its all melted from the trees and roofs. We will go out and about this morning, shopping and to Rite Aid.
Last night I chicken fried some cube steak, with marinara sauce and melted cheese on top, made corn on cob, and baked up some pre made cheese bread for husband. It was a feast. Its so nice to make it, having patience now to season the egg, the flour, and the breading mixtures, and know without any doubt that its gonna taste good. I always finish up the cube steaks in the oven for a bit. Its the cast iron pans that does it.
Had a nice chat with my sisters over the last couple of days. I need to tell them both the next time we video chat how much I appreciate them, and that its nice to be in such a "good place" with them.
Thought this was hilarious.😁
My latest ramen feast. Yes I had two eggs. I munched on a half while I assembled it.😂
Snow on Whidbey
Rebecca
wa
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Grandma still has the touch lol.
Mom says only for me does he nap..
Light snow falling but no biggie..
Just watched Christopher Robin.. cute movie..
I can't watch anything like that at home..Id have a barking dog at the T.V.3
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