WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JANUARY 2024

LisaInArkansas

Hello, my chickens,

And... five loads later, the last load of laundry is waiting to be folded, and it's only about half, as the sheets were already pulled out and put on the bed. Corey's in the kitchen putting together his stuff for lunches for the week. He decided a few months back to lay off taking sandwiches, or bread at all most days, so he preps cheddar cheese sticks, some kind of meat strips of whatever is available that we've cooked or that he cooked for lunches. This week, it's ham. He also takes small peppers, grape or cherry tomatoes, and an apple.

And speaking of wise choices:

Corey's changes in his diet show that even old dogs CAN learn new tricks... or as someone else said, no one changes because of anything you say, they change when they're ready to change, not when you're ready to change them. However, I will say that the men (or women) we care for might change with us. This particularly applies if they can do so without effort, like Kylia's husband, who's allowing her to change his food choices.

On other wise choices:

From Terri: I have learned not to be disappointed by the actions of one or two of my family. It’s just the way they are. I’m certainly not going to let their behaviour wound my composure. I just limit my contact and expect nothing from them.

Age has brought wisdom about past wrongs. Despite her treatment of me, I feel an enormous compassion for my mother, as she must have been a very bitter and unhappy person. Both my brother and I limited our contact with her as adults for our own peace of mind.

I have fought my demons, and lived to tell the tale 😝 I choose to be happy, and grateful to be who I am, where I am.

---

These are such wise words, that I thought they should be read again (and again). I am powerless over others but I can take charge of my own emotions and reactions.
Barbie in NW WA

Barbie - I agree in toto. Wise words from Terri, and a wise summation. So many times in my life, I've said, "She made me feel..." or "He made me angry," or whatever. I've allowed others to hurt me in the past, and had to finally choose to not allow that to happen. Changed everything. When you hear yourself say "I let her make me angry," it changes your own reaction completely.

I'm trying to help my daughter find that place in her head, too, but it seems so much harder for the younger ones. She still aches over her ex-husband's idiocies, and I just continue to calmly say, "If you expect him to do negative things, you will find it doesn't hurt when he does." It will sink in eventually. I'm just pleased that she has this amazing man in her life right now who cares for her and the kids so much.

Ah... down off my philosophical soapbox.

Love y'all,
Lisa in Arkansas, where the snow's supposed to start in a few hours.

skuehn48

I am so grateful today to be able to take a hot shower. Yesterday we had no water. With all the freezing weather we had pipes freeze and break. Yesterday when we were feeding goats we found a puddle and water running from a broken coupler. With the help of marvelous neighbors it took most of the day but we were able to repair the pipe and not have to call a plumber on the weekend. Yay! We were also able to find the cleanout valve for the cabin so will not have to install a new one. The estimated cost for that was anout $2000. So even though it is raining, it has warmed up and life is good.

Everyone take care, Sue in WA

grandmallie

Afternoon and evening folks ,I had a duvet day and it was nice... i took naps and just relaxed.. and will be taking Doris out to lunch with her friends tomorrow.. then will be bringing Siri home.
So that should be interesting.
Miles back to daycare tomorrow. This is one of my favorite pictures
And Kyle finally apologized..

auntiebk

Last night indulged in English muffin, one half pb&honey, other half butter&lemon curd. Predictable results this morning ;P
BUSTED. This morning, Joe asked if I knew where the little stone cup he bought at the Star Farmers’ market was. Oops. Confessed “it might have been donated. Sorry! Next time I’ll ask first.” One reason I hate decluttering/purging. :sick:
Today’s gratitude: Kay and everyone who suggested audio book “Decluttering at the Speed of Life.” Listened to the first two or three chapters while puttering around the study. A grocery bag full of paper left the house and is in the recycle bin, AND I found the shower curtain I was sure I’d tucked away “in case” I needed it. Now I do. Just another reason purging is so very very hard.
I feel sad, embarrassed, ashamed.

Tackled the container full of sympathy cards from Mama’s passing back in 1995. Not only did I never acknowledge any of the many kind expressions of sympathy, charitable donations, photos or letters containing touching memories of Mama, but I found half a dozen checks made out to Mama’s church. Felt I had no choice but to tear them in pieces and throw them away. It’s going to take a long walk and maybe a good cry to purge these feelings.

Taking a break to check in with you all.
Terri hard won wisdom. Well done.
Machka saw this article and thought of you and Rowan. https://www.theivnews.com?s=raising+resilient+bees Likely you beekeepers in Taz are already using heritage rather than commercial treatments. Whoops there goes another piece of paper into the recycling.
Michelle in NV ((hugs))
Lanette thanks for the sleep video. Will watch later while marching in place. Way short of steps so far today ;{
Heather, whiskey sauce, si, haggis :noway: Hope no ill effects from storm and all are safe.
Kylia Wow! Proud grandma!
Rita con VERY gratulations on your six months sober. Excellent work.
Rebecca look forward to seeing pic of Athena wearing the “Must Dash” from her secret message
Annie what a very very hard place to be in. ((hugs))
Welcome @wizzybeth On the last evening of the month Barbiecat posts a link to the next month’s thread.
Lisa yours and Barbie’s to Terri’s. Especially “…When you hear yourself say "I let her make me angry," it changes your own reaction completely.”
Sue Wow! So thankful for your marvelous neighbors’ help. Frozen burst pipes are not fun at all.

1/20 corrected: Fuel: sugar in vs mfp=4 CI<CO net=258

Thanks gals. Spending time with you has helped restore my equanimity. Time to prep vegs, feed the pooches, and clean that bathroom. (ugh)
Later, lighter, lovelies!
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
January: Move more: dailyish PT, play with dogs, more steps than yesterday.
Fuel better: less sugar, CI<CO, dailyish vitamins. more AF days than not.
Live NOW: dailyish time with Joe, dogs, readings, Hebrew, meditation.
Open heart and mind before mouth.
2024: Strengthen: body, mind, heart-connections.

pipcd34

Stat for the day-

Housecleaning etc- 3hrs 18min 32sec, laundry fold/put away, make/refill hummingbird food, mostly kitchen stuff, etc= 700c

284

dlfk202000

anmlmzdiet wrote: »

@dlfk202000
It sounds like your husband is overwhelmed. He certainly has got a lot on his hands. My mother is only in this predicament because she keeps falling and breaking bones. When she gets close to being healed, she does something like take her walker on a hike down the stairs. I'm not saying she hurts herself on purpose, but if she wants to get better, she needs to stop doing things she's not supposed to.

All the food drama your MIL causes should be easy to fix. (Should be, of course) Give her one thing to eat and be done with it. If she throws it away, it's gone. Try again tomorrow. The only thing she can do is try to starve herself. I know, she just might. Well, that's my two cents. No big help.

Tell your husband I feel for him, and he's not the only one out there dealing with a hateful mother and dead siblings.

@Snowflake1968
Oh, I need to clean my craft room something awful. I make jewelry. I have wire, tools, and tens of thousands of beads. Hubby thinks my craft room is a storage shed, and every day there is something new to climb over.

Michelle in NV

This all really went bad back in June of 2022. MIL fell and broke bones in her hand and wrist and the next day fell again and broke a few ribs(because of a UTI) and needed 24 hr care. At that time it was exhausting for dh to be there the whole time. On the days he worked(retired but working a few nights a week) I would go over, spend the night on the couch to help when she needed to get up to use the bathroom or what ever. Once she started getting better and not needing as much help, we started to cut back a bit like the doctors wanted-make her do a bit more for herself. She liked being waited on every second and got very mad when we wouldn't do everything.
Yes, she pulled the "going to starve myself to death" quite a few times
Yes, it should be an easy fix but that is up to DH to do that and he won't, just complains to me about it.

Add me to the list of those who need to clean out my craft room. It will take me a good week of full time cleaning I think to really get it the way I want, maybe longer- I am a huge procrastinator so it still sits, a big mess

Debbie

exermom

Did the Legs of Steel DVD then walked to Food Lion to get more grapes. Even tho they’re more expensive than Aldi on sale, they are much better. Aldi has them on sale this week and they are so bitter! Then went to Aldi

Tracey – could they be jealous of the fact that your daughter is doing so well even without their help? I’m just thinking because I suspect that’s part of the reason why Denise didn’t even go to Jess’ graduation. Her reason was that she had to be there for PJ’s 3rd birthday party (which she had a week later).

It was 12 degrees when I walked to Food Lion this morning, but there wasn’t any wind so that made it decent to walk in.

Michelle NV – have you ever tried shirataki noodles? They have a “rubbery” consistency. It did take me a while to get used to them but now I prefer them If your family is anything like my husband (everything has to be plain and what he expects) they may not like them. How about popcorn for a snack?

Ginny – aren’t pork rinds deep fried?

Put a load of laundry in the wash before I went to Aldi. Now it’s in the dryer. Also have yogurt in the IP so it’ll be done around dinnertime

kylia – congrats to your granddaughter! Will you be going to see the performances? She’s beautiful and a fantastic dancer! Thanks for the link, I really enjoyed it

Rita – I think an alien taking us to a sunny spot is a fantastic idea! Especially since Lanette seems to be having trouble with that teleporter WooHoo, 6 months, you go girl!!!!

Annie dearest – you have so much on your plate. I’m so glad you share with us. I’m worried for your dad, too.

Karen – this thread starts fresh the start of every month. Look for the link barbie will post on the last day of this month. Welcome!

Sue – yea for a hot shower! And yea for not having to call a plumber on the weekend

Well, finished the blanket for my friend. Looks like I made a mistake towards the end, but I don’t think it’s real noticeable. Wrapped everything that I’m sending to her, going to start to work (again) on the cross stitch for the lady who took care of my dad, take a shower and go to bed.

Michele NC

drkatiebug

Tracey, I love audio books for the car and ebooks for reading fiction for pleasure at home. If I am reading a book for learning purposes, whether fiction or non-fiction, I need the physical book. In the reading program for my church conference-wide women’s group. i need a physical book that I can leaf through for our Zoom book study and also so that I can pass it on to other women in the group when I am finished.

drkatiebug

Lanette, I’m reading the Cormoran Strike series, too. The second one is the book I could not put down; it kept me in my pajamas all day. The 3rd one is slower. I’ve been listening to the audio while driving and walking and reading Lessons in Chemistry while in the house. They are getting darker, for sure, and I know what you mean about the characters. I probably will continue on with them, but I can see why they don’t seem to be hard to get on Libby.

Barbara, give yourself some grace on the sympathy responses. I don’t know about you, but I was a totally different person back in 1995. I was so wrapped up in raising my kids, getting the bills paid, etc. Throw grieving in there, too. That was almost 30 years ago!

Machka, i used to use my husband as a sounding board for solving math problems I could not figure out in graduate school. By the time I explained the problem to him and why I couldn’t solve it, i would see the solution.

barbiecat

I loved "Lessons in Chemistry " so much that I listened to the audio book after I read the book

Here is a peaceful picture of Annie who recently chewed the end of the TV remote and chewed open a pillow and ate some of the stuffing which she later threw up under the dining room table

Machka9

Snacks ... these days I am snacking on snowpeas and strawberries! Both are coming ripe right now!

Love eating food right off the plant.

M in Oz

dlfk202000

kevrit wrote: »

dlfk202000 wrote: »

anmlmzdiet wrote: »

Maybe I’m mean, but if I was doing for her what you and your husband are, the minute she told me she was changing her will to the niece from Osaka, I would have bought her the one way plane ticket there! (Refundable of course) Maybe if she sees her threats are taken seriously,——then again, if she was always that way, she would probably wait until the last minute and not get on the plane! Or thrown off from the way she treats the stewards/stewardess’s (what do they call them now??)

Just venting a little. I’ve been in a crappy mood lately. With all my medical stuff hitting at once, and family baloney, not feeling the best. If I was in this mood when I was told I was useless, I probably would have turned off my phone gone home or on a trip for a month, then see what the person thinks of me!

RVRita in slightly rainy (was to be snow but not) Roswell, N<

My biggest fear would be that niece gets her name on all the accounts, gets all the money and either takes her to Osaka and sends her back totally pennyless or gets all the money and doesn't even take her then she would have no home and no money to pay for a place to live and no way would she ever live with us.

dlfk202000

ok- so weird, freak accident yesterday- not terrible but not fun.
Warmed up a boiled egg in the microwave. Bit into it and all of a sudden, the yolk popped spraying steam on my lip. It was hard boiled or close to it. Never have had this happen. Now have a blister on my lip that just popped. Hopefully it just heals up and I don't get a cold sore on it(that usually happens when there is any trauma to my lips)

Debbie
Napa Valley, Ca

Machka9

Regarding decluttering and household stuff ...

Maybe this is because my husband and I married when we were older adults ...

My husband and I each do our own laundry, including folding and putting away. I don't touch his clothing. If he has 20 pair of grey socks, some with holes, that's his business. It's not mine. I'm not even sure what size clothing he prefers and he wouldn't know mine.

We each have our own beds and bed areas. The only thing I will do with stuff on his side of the room is to wash his sheets. He doesn't touch all the books around my bed, even if it is apparent that there are duplicates.

He has a portion of the bathroom and so do I. I don't go rummaging through his stuff and he doesn't rummage through mine.

We also have areas of the house that are ours. I don't deal with anything in his area and doesn't do anything with things in my area.

There are some middle areas but before we do something with the stuff in the middle, we check with each other.

That seems to work for us. Yes, I would like his area to be neater, but that's not who he is and I need to focus on my areas.


Also ... moving several times really helps! My husband and I have both had 2 big purges in the past.

Right now I am kind of thinking ahead ... we're not getting any younger. At some point we will likely want to move into a house that has easier access. Then we'll likely move into a retirement village (assisted living).

Are we ready to make those moves? No. We have too much excess stuff. But that's part of the plan for 2024 ... declutter and streamline to make moves easier.

Machka in Oz

Snowflake1968

Michelle - Every Christmas season my craft room becomes a dumping ground. This year has been particularly awful because we redid a wall, so my pictures are in there plus stuff from my China cabinet. I just organized some of it better. I hope to have the wall done by end of February,
My DH was diagnosed with diabetes and we went to a dietician. The first thing she said was to not try to get rid of anything just to cut back. He is a huge bread fan, she told him to switch to sourdough. She also told him that sugars from fruits doesn’t affect the diabetes. He has lost probably 50 lbs and is keeping it controlled with one Jardiance per day. Of course, being a man he lost that weight so easily.

Machka - that highway has not changed, still as many accidents. Now going SB there is an overhead sign just as you’re coming to Leduc that states what road conditions are like to Red Deer. The first Leduc exit going SB is getting a huge makeover. We’ll be able to cross over the highway to get to the airport without having to go up to the Nisku exit. It started this summer and is expected to be completed in 2025.
That’s a lot, taking Christmas down.

Barbara - I think if I was to hire a cleaner, I would put the bathroom on top of the list. It’s the bathtub I dislike most. 2nd would be baseboards, then oven.

Terri - I think you have a busy life. When I’m retired I hope to be like that.

Ginny - I’m with you on the pre-made jello. I don’t know why they can’t get that. Although, the lemon pie dessert type one is delicious when refrigerated according to DH. I don’t eat it myself.

Annie - I don’t envy you dealing with your determined dad. He’s keeping you on your toes.

Lisa - I think we are drawn together. I’m doing laundry today too when I finally get it together. I’ve been waking up for long periods in the night and reading. So I slept in until 930 this morning and the day feels half done now.

Kylia - I often keep an open container of grapes in the fridge too. I like grapes, wheat thins and laughing cow wedges for a snack.
I need to buy some grapes haven’t had any for a while because they haven’t looked good in the stores.
I make a mess when cleaning too. All the time!

Congratulations to your granddaughter! She is a good dancer.

Part of my homework on Friday was writing a journal based on a news article we had to read. The article was about a little girl that uses a wheelchair when she is tired or has to go long distances. She had been attending a dance school for 4 years but when her parents registered her for the 5th year she was un-registered and the school cited insurance issues. The draft policy that the school wrote said that she would be able to attend if 6 other disabled students registered, or the parents could pay for private lessons. It didn’t seem to have to do with insurance at all. When I submitted my journal I sent an email to my instructor with the attachment that told him that the whole situation had “gotten my dander up”. It’s a term my grandmother used to use. Another of her terms was “I’ve got a bone to pick with you”.

Rita - I have had those grumpy days too. I had a couple last week because I was in so much pain with my foot.
I’m in on the trip in your flying saucer.
I know someone in a long term marriage with a narcissist. It is awful. I also know one that got out of it and that was almost as bad.
Great job on 6 months sober!

Evelyn - I hadn’t thought of that, but the answer is actually no. The two I am most disappointed with are both in their 50’s and have completed their families years ago. One of them has even started and finished having grandchildren. I just have to let it go.

Carol - glad your BIL is out of hospital.

Rebecca - I bet Athena will love that. I am the “craft” Grammie. When I cleaned the craftroom I organized the Grands bin and told my daughter I am not buying anymore until some stuff gets used! It’s a little over the top right now.

Lisa - Terri - Barbie - I must not have been in the right frame of mind to let Terri’s words sink in yesterday. They mean so much more today. I had adopted that attitude over the years and had decided that I would still be me when it came to my family and not let their behaviours affect me. I think the reason I was so disappointed this time is because it’s for my baby girl. They have all said “I wish there was something I could do”, then when they can they don’t. I guess my Mama bear came out.
Thanks you for the perspective I needed.

Sue - it’s wonderful to have neighbours that are handy.

Barbara - my cousin and I both put things we want to get rid of our DH’s in an out of the way place for a few months if it’s not asked for it’s gone. My DH is used pretty good about getting rid of things when I really need a clearing out.
Show yourself some grace. I don’t think we ever sent out thank you cards after Dad passed. We thanked a lot of people in person.

Speaking of clearing out. I bought three photo albums today. I may go back this week and get a couple more. I am going to go through my pictures.
I also need to clear some family history and Mom and Grammie’s diaries out. Mom used duotangs and scribblers for most of hers. I’m thinking I can probably get most of them into a 2” binder. I also have the letters I sent to Grammie and hers returned to me. I think I will put those in a binder too.
Then I will put the little diaries in photo boxes. This stuff is all in my hope chest, but I would like to put some more stuff in there and need room to do it.

Michele - Maybe. If they think that they are ring though. The fund is going very well, but it’s double the amount currently in it for an attempt.
Also, it’s her Aunt and Uncle. 🤷‍♀️

Kay - I’ve been hearing that a lot I’m about books we’re learning from. My SIL said the same thing. His mother is a professor, he asked her why? She told him it’s a licensing thing. He also gave her old particular for professors insisting a book is required, but then only have to read one chapter. She only laughed at that.

Barbie - She needs a rest after all those Shenanigans.

Debbie - that sounds painful.

Our furnace has not been acting right since the cold snap. We have to turn the thermostat off and then on again to get the furnace to kick in. I told DH I thought it was the thermostat, he said “no it wouldn’t do that I don’t think.” Grumble, grumble about a new furnace. I didn’t agree so looked up a few websites that said thermostats are only good for about 10 years and one of the first signs they are going is the furnace either doesn’t start or doesn’t stop.
Needless to say, I went and bought a thermostat today. As soon as DH left for work I also installed it. Imagine my surprise when the furnace is doing what it should! 😳
My husband is a smart man, but sometimes my Dad and grandfather’s lessons that I didn’t think I paid attention to sneak in and overrule him. He doesn’t ever say “you were right”, but he also doesn’t get his undies in a twist because I was, so I’ll take it.

I caught a new to me design show on Magnolia Network tonight. It’s called Building Outside the Lines. It is a man and his 14 year old daughter that design and build. They built a playhouse out of an old cement truck roller. The family that owns the property are beekeepers so they gave it a bee theme. I was quite impressed by the daughter and the respect and faith he has in his daughter is so nice to see.

When Raquel makes her donation tonight she will have maxed out the $2000 matching, they agreed to match for a week to a maximum of $2k it will only took 4 days! My heart is bursting and my eyes are leaking. What generosity!

I should head to bed.
Tracey in Edmonton

pipcd34

285285

skuehn48

Rosemarie2972

I am reading along but havie not taken notes. I will this week! The heat pump is not keeping up with the cold in the house. I just turned on the electric emergency heat. The down stairs is very cold while the upstairs is warm. I have never had this bad of a discrepancy between the 2 floors before. I might have to call the HVAC people. I am not sure what the temperature is down stairs.

My decluttering is going better. There is alot to do but I may be half way. Most of it is trash or shred. The course speaks about memory boxes. I have started one for my husband and plan to start one for myself. I am still having trouble sleeping. I think I am excited about the decluttering.

I started to stream Boys in The Boat but did not finish before the rental expired. I think I will read the book instead.
I have started Joseph Conrad's book Under Western Eyes which i am listening to on audio while I knit. This will be for a book group in April.

I hope I can get back to sleep.

Best,
Rosemarie from Georgia

Machka9

Snowflake1968 wrote: »

Kay - I’ve been hearing that a lot I’m about books we’re learning from. My SIL said the same thing. His mother is a professor, he asked her why? She told him it’s a licensing thing. He also gave her old particular for professors insisting a book is required, but then only have to read one chapter. She only laughed at that.

I should head to bed.
Tracey in Edmonton

Thankfully, we've moved away from the buy a $150.00 book and read one chapter thing!!

During my Master's degree, not one of the classes required a textbook!


Machka in Oz

cityjaneLondon

Tracey - I sent you a message. Did you get it?

Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx