WOMEN AGES 50+FOR MAY 2024
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Lisa you and a couple of other friends alerted me right away so I was able to hopefully put a stop to the hacker. Thank you!3
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Annie - I’m so terribly sorry your dad is going downhill so fast. Are there any agencies you can call for some guidance. It’s going to be rough keeping him in but I think necessary now. It’s such a shame that you are in a position where you need to become the parent instead of the child. It’s so difficult, but it’s to keep him safe and well.
Painful times for you and him, hugs to you.
Carol - my supper was disappointing and incredibly too expensive. Neither of us finished our meal, not because of the taste but the size. I didn’t like my burger, but ate it because I knew Rodger wanted me to enjoy it. I just won’t go back there.
Hopefully they figure out what’s going on with your husband soon.
Michele - that was Aspen on the picture, I bought the poncho for her at the farmers market. I lady was selling her knitted and crocheted items.
I could not imagine having to be responsible for one pet nevermind four!
Barbie - I bet the news from Jake’s appointment was a relief.
I did some scrapbooking today, will do some more tomorrow, but I need to go get some pictures printed first.
I’m off to bed.
Tracey in Edmonton
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Usual Saturday local shops trip, Stiil trying to sort my phone out.
Annie: Your dad’s deterioration is so sad. You have a hard time ahead. 🫶
Barbie: Good news about Jake.
🤗🤗🤗 and 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 for those who need them.
🙋♀️ Miele failte to the newbies.
☘️ Terri
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Good morning ladies.
Thank you Lisa, Michele, Heather, Machka, Tracey and Terri for your kind words about my dad.
When I heard the door, he left and drove back to his physical therapy thinking he had another appointment because he read the wrong day on the calendar. But he had just finished there two hours ago.
Machka, there are bells on the doors just hanging on the doorknobs so I do hear him. And we have a doctor appointment Monday. I'm hoping they can help convince him to stop driving.
I went over to talk to my aunt and she thinks we should put him in a home for memory care. I'm naturally reluctant both because he couldn't go on his long walks and because of the risk of having to sell the house to pay for it. But the wandering problem will only get worse in the fall when he wants to go out in the dark. It's a safe town, and his balance is better from all the PT. But I wonder how often he gets lost and doesn't tell me.
Such a worry. When his PT is over, he will go back to wanting to go out for ice cream every day. He takes his picture of Mom and shows it to strangers. He needs more social activity than I do. So sad, because he used to be a physicist and was usually the smartest person in every room, but so humble. Now he gets so confused.
So I hid my Mom's old car key. And the doctor will help make the decision about driving. And the issue of memory care is something to look into for the fall. Everything changes!
Heather that baby is a cutie!
Carol, good luck with your husband.
Rita and Allie, you both are doing great!
Lisa, fingers crossed for the injections working. Thinking about you!
May you all have a great day, and my you be happy, healthy, safe and free!
Annie in Delaware4 -
Anniesquats100 wrote: »Good morning ladies.
Thank you Lisa, Michele, Heather, Machka, Tracey and Terri for your kind words about my dad.
When I heard the door, he left and drove back to his physical therapy thinking he had another appointment because he read the wrong day on the calendar. But he had just finished there two hours ago.
Machka, there are bells on the doors just hanging on the doorknobs so I do hear him. And we have a doctor appointment Monday. I'm hoping they can help convince him to stop driving.
I went over to talk to my aunt and she thinks we should put him in a home for memory care. I'm naturally reluctant both because he couldn't go on his long walks and because of the risk of having to sell the house to pay for it. But the wandering problem will only get worse in the fall when he wants to go out in the dark. It's a safe town, and his balance is better from all the PT. But I wonder how often he gets lost and doesn't tell me.
Annie in Delaware
It is very difficult.
If he goes into a memory care home, you may be able to take him for long walks. Meanwhile, it wouldn't be a bad idea to go on long walks with him now.
And yes, it is possible he may have to sell the house.
It might be a good idea to talk to your sister, cousins etc. and to weigh up your options.
M in Oz
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Margaret - good info, and good job! You and I are on the same track. Amazing what cutting out sugar, processed foods and white starches will do.
Rita - I keep reading that some doctors feel diabetes patients are destined to stay on drugs. Seems like that isn't always the case though. You have done so well, I don't blame you for questioning the need for Jardiance. Keep up the good work.
Tracey - I feel so fortunate having lived and worked in this community for many years. Reminds me of CHEERS - :"we want to go where everybody knows our name". Most of my gal friends I've known for years and years, former co-workers that I have some things in common with. It's fun to learn more about them. And share some war stories, lol. Sorry your dinner out with Rodger was a disappointment.
I was shocked at the cost of lunch yesterday with my friends. A cup of soup and small salad - $17.
The restaurant is run by a good friend of R, one of my lunch buddies so that's OK, I'm glad to give her pal the business. Many eating places have closed in the past few years.
But the cafe I went to with M on Thursday - a "half" chicken Caesar salad was $12 and big enough for lunch and supper.
Barbie - great news for Jake.
Heather - glad Finley has made his appearance. What a cutie, happy to hear all is going well for him and his mom.
Lisa- good for you speaking to the neighbors about burning plastics, hope they take it to heart. How did the interview go for Patrick?
Annie - (((hugs))) sending strength to you as you deal with your dad. Does your sister have any ideas? Seems like he has deteriorated sharply since she last saw him.
Diabetes Prevention Program thoughts... I've been pondering why this year-long program has been so successful for many people. It occurs to me that it shares James Clear's ideas about "habit stacking".
I'm used to weight-loss programs that hit participants with a big list of changes from the get-go: Drastically reduce calories. Drink gallons of water. Start walking 3 miles per day. Get in 20 minutes of strength training every other day. I'm exaggerating but not by much. We put ourselves through overwhelming expectations; no wonder it often becomes a struggle. At least it was for me.
It appears this program starts us off gradually with lifestyle changes, such as upping activity. Making that into a habit. Then we'll move on to another area, diet, sleep, social connections. Healing in many areas, not just getting blood sugar or weight under control.
Kind of exciting, isn't it?
On that note, time to close and let the chickens out for their morning walk.
Make it a great weekend.
Lanette
SW WA State4 -
Sherry from TN - Welcome! As Rebecca said, lots of support here, and the simple accountability of those who send a DM to Lanette every week on their progress, whether backward, forward or sideways... Drop into any conversation where you feel comfortable.
Annie - It's already nearly June, and fall is not far away. If your father is genuinely in need of that social atmosphere, he would almost never be alone in a memory care facility, there would be others to talk to, and to show pictures of your mom to. Just a thought. You can do this.
Heather - Congratulations on another nephew entering the world!
Just dropped in quick before I do my yoga. Shoved the menfolk out the door a few minutes ago. My DBIL was charming and happy in that same way my husband is, but they stayed up late catching up, and kind of staggered out the door this morning. He already worked with Corey for a couple hours yesterday, and they'll both put in a couple hours this morning. I re-worked his résumé for him, which was the last thing he needed to bring with him.
He and Corey will make the four-hour drive over tomorrow and pack his camper/trailer up and drag it back. He's in better financial shape than I thought, and honestly, better mental and physical shape than I've ever seen him. So pleased that my disaster premonitions were so far off the mark. He's looking at houses to buy already, and the fact that he's already got a job the moment he shows up here will go a long way to making that happen. He has money in the bank for a big down payment, as well, and says he's looking forward to living here. It will be nice to have family close.
Anyway, time to get some exercise and then get some breakfast in me. Have a happy day, my dears,
Love from Arkansas,
Lisa10 -
Annie ... your aunt is giving you good advice. Your dad doesn't tell you when he gets lost because he doesn't know he was lost or remember that he was lost. I understand that the house issue is a big problem. You need to call your sister and get the advice of elder care specialists in your area. Visit some memory care places and talk to the financial offices. They understand your concerns and can guide you.
I completely understand where you are right now and it hurts and it sucks.
My mom It's long.My mom spent Wednesday night in the ER after being unable to hold her weight in the shower requiring 3 aides to lower her to the floor to avoid a fall. Through a series of errors/miscommunication, I was unable to be with her (I was in the waiting area) and the doctors giving her care never communicated with me. I did have the pleasure of hearing the man high on drugs, hallucinating and vomiting, scream for over an hour in ER waiting ... great way to initiate the cochlear implant. I left in the early morning hours when I was told I would not get to see her to catch a few hours sleep with the assumption she would be admitted and I would see her in the morning. Instead, Thursday morning she was discharged. Somehow, they thought she was capable of making her own medical decisions and she refused to stay for PT evaluation and rehab. A look at her paperwork (or how about talk to the family) would have told them I am her proxy and she has dementia. Without my knowledge or her assisted living facility's knowledge, they ordered her a wheelchair van and sent her back to the assisted living facility ... in a hospital gown. Once at the assisted living facility, she was unable to even transfer out of the transport chair back into her own chair. Took 3 men from the kitchen. The assisted living facility called for another ambulance and back she went to the ER. (The assisted living facility my mom is in is only licensed for 1 person assist. They have no lift equipment). They didn't have her hearing aids so I had to get into the ambulance to put one of them in --- the other was crushed the day before. What was I thinking?? My knees can't support climbing into an ambulance and getting out I wrenched my knee. Sheesh. While my mom was definitely confused on Thursday morning, by evening she had a full-blown sundowners event. Heartbreaking. She has now been admitted to the hospital under "observation" and will be moved to rehab on Monday once we (the hospital) find one that has a bed. Insurance won't cover the rehab because it's "observation" and not "inpatient." She's healthy, but weak, so insurance won't cover? What a messed up system. Yesterday (Friday) the hospital was unable to awaken her to even take her morning medications. At noon I managed to awaken her for her pills, but she went back to sleep. Then at 1:30 they came in with her lunch. She hadn't eaten since Wednesday. I awakened her again and said time to eat. She ate every bite, said it was delicious and promptly went back to sleep! The hospital was going to start her on Trazadone last night for the sundowners. I'm hoping for a better day today. Sadly, this is the beginning of the end for my mom. While we're all saying, let's do rehab and see if you can get back to assisted living, the truth is she requires a higher level of care now. Most likely a nursing home. And Annie ... they're going to take every penny my mom has. I had to give financials yesterday ... and I was asked if she still had her house (which we sold in 2022).
My food choices have been atrocious, I'm dehydrated and having muscle spasms at night ...
Beth near Buffalo13 -
(((Beth))) (((Annie))) Decisions are lousy and lousy. Went through this with DH mom.
One up side to DH is I did not have to put him in a hospital or a home. Hard enough without that extra burden. Please do what you can to take care of you at this time even if you only have five minutes to take it!!! I know eating the best diet I could during the last few days with DH helped me handle it better than resorting to high starch and processed foods. My church wanted to have others bring me meals I declined because I wanted to make sure what I was eating was the best for me and DH. He was able to eat until the night before his death. He did lose his ability to talk.
The friend mentioned taking to lunch on her birthday is now in hospice and they move her to the nursing home section of the place she leaves in. They had just moved to assistant living. They did pay for long term health care assistance. Not sure how that works with Hospice. I don't think she is going to live long. Three cancers lung, pancreatic, and one other and congestive heart failure. I just pray she doesn't linger long. It is her children I worry about especially the daughter who did most of her extra care this past year.
Went with a friend to a delightful concert last night. Unfortunately night ended with her bringing up our common friend which is the one in hospice. Her daughter had called me when I was out to tell me about her move to the nursing home. I am about to return the call.5 -
The list of foods I’ve come up with that are OK for me to eat. It addresses Colitis, GERD, Diabetes, and Metabolic Acidosis (CKD), my food sensitivities: eggs, high fiber, ginger, milk, winter squash, shellfish, peppers-all colors (if you do not have sensitivities, you can eat these).
Avoid anything with *PHOS* in the name of an ingredient. No Colas, Dr. Pepper, Root Beer ok.
Proteins: 1 serving = 2-3 oz cooked meat, 1/3 cup beans, 1/4 cup nuts
Fish, chicken, turkey (both skinless), beef (lean), beans, lentils, nuts and seeds, duck (skinless) buffalo, rabbit, venison, lamb, pork
Grains: 1 serving= 1/2 cup cooked rice/noodles, or 1 slice of bread—ALL LOW FIBERS
White rice, white bread, English muffins, bagels, cold (Corn Flakes, Rice Krispies, Cherios), and hot (cream of rice, no oatmeal) crackers, pasta (white), flour tortillas
Fruits 1 serving= <200 mg of potassium per 1/2 cup fresh
Apples, applesauce, berries, grapes, all versions of oranges, pineapple, lemon, lime, plum, pear, peaches, cherries
Veggies 1 serving= <200 mg of potassium per 1 cup leafy —preferably cooked veggies
Broccoli, cauliflower, celery, carrots, onion, cabbage, kale, lettuce, asparagus, green beans, mushrooms, tomatoes, spinach, green peas, parsnip, sweet potato, plantain
Dairy 1 serving=1/2 cup milk, yogurt or 1 oz cheese
Low fat cheese
Almond milk
Rice milk
Fats 1 serving = 1 tbs. Or 1 oz.
olive oil, avocado oil, almond oil, coconut oil, MCT oil all kinds of nut oils, no animal fats, corn oil, vegetable oil, or canola oil.
I hope this helps somebody. I find the serving sizes kinda low, but they are they to lose weight. I’m trying but find I’m hungry on this. Probably need more proteins in my diet.
My macros are set at 30`% carbs, 55% fats, 15% protein. In looking at my last week, I’m getting too many carbs and not enough protein or fats. I’ve got to work on that. Adding MCT oil helps. And logging all through the day, not just the mornings will help me see where I’m lacking. I go through this every so often and need to stay with this as a way of life forever. If I eat enough fats and proteins, I don’t crave the sweets. Logging will give me an idea of where I’m lacking in my diet and deter the sugar cravings.
RVRita who is writing this as a way to be accountable!9 -
Today is: a good day!! Science and Nature are great, aren’t they?!!
RVRita in Roswell Where it is Topless at Bottomless Day!! (Jeeps only! Lol)
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Beth Wow. Such an adventure with your mom. She is lucky to have you advocate for her, even if it doesn't always work out ideally. You can't make the system perfect, just improve it here and there. Hope you get a break and some good sleep today. We are thinking of you!
Lisa glad your brother in law is in good shape.
Lanette last time my sister was here my dad was devastated by the funeral and all that. So he is a little better now, and trying to do things on his own which is a problem.
Lanette Lisa Beth and Margaret, thanks for your support. It really means a lot to me.
A friend from Dad's church said she could hide the car if we need that. I'm wondering if my cousin's daughter would want it for a wedding present. It's an old Toyota Camry, low mileage, not sure what it's worth. Anyway, taking my Dad's keys is the next step.
Annie in Delaware5 -
Annie - I drive an old Toyota Camry - 2004 LE with just over 80,000 miles, in great shape. I was just given an offer from Carmax for $3,880.
You can enter the info on your dad's car here: Edmunds.com/appraisal/
Prices can vary a lot by region. Good luck!
Lanette2 -
Today I am simmering a roasted chicken carcass. That always gives me 2 or 3 quarts of broth. Both husband and I kind of attack the chicken when we get it home from the store. The only time he eats chicken is standing in the kitchen with a fork poking at the chicken breast like a vulture! I seem to have it for lunch. And that's really all I have. Its a messy lunch.😁. It still gives me chicken to make myself a chicken salad sandwich, and a couple salads with chicken. This afternoon husband will have a big mug of my chicken broth. I put a lot of turmeric, pepper and cayenne pepper in it. That's so good for our innards. At least when I have a mug my innards feel happy.
I have been drinking apple cider vinegar as well. Just a glug in my sparkling flavored water. This ACV has honey and cayenne pepper in it as well. Its a marvelous drink and satiating.
Well Monday we get our new floor fingers crossed! I want to get this bottom floor professionally cleaned (carpets and entry way) by Stanley Steamers. I also need to buy new pans for under our burners. Lastly, I want to have my oven professionally cleaned. I hate it, and I am sure its not been cleaned for some time, even before us.
Michele, one trick I use is use Crisco oil on the pan. I have a mini loaf pan, so its like a cupcake pan but are 8 mini loaves. I get in all the cracks and they never stick. I don't just make the pan surface shiny, there is a white coating, especially each corner.👍🏼
Well everyone have a nice weekend.🤗
Rebecca
Whidbey
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Annie -
I would second someone's recommendation that you take walks with your dad. I also did some looking on amazon, and if he always takes his keys or wallet, there are air tags for tucking in his wallet or as a new key ring. And depending on where he is in his comprehension you do not need to explain it all, just you bought him a new key ring for fathers day.
If he takes his phone you can turn on the "Find My" app on both your phones so you can find him.
I am working with some (not as bad) issues with my mom and while sometimes I feel like I am lying- or manipulating the situation. BUT my counselor reminds me the the conductor of a orchestra is not manipulating the musicians - and we are not manipulating our loved ones we are conducting the situation for the best results.
DO not freak out at the prices I am listing in the following this is in California in the San Francisco Bay Area - many many places are substantially less expensive - But I felt like knowing the prices helped motivate me to look at all the other options.
Also I am concerned about your comment that a care facility is a something to look into in the fall. Maybe it is different there but here the better facilities have 6-18 month wait time for a room. And you have to be on the list with a down payment that time. Here the down payment is 2 months cost, at the one closest to me that is good, full dementia care facilities are $12-$23,000 per month. There is a good one about an hour drive for about $8,000 a month.
I am working on doing everything I can to keep my mom in her home as long as possible as that is a ton of money - luckily she has not gotten lost, just tired and has to sit often. She could be in just assisted living and I hope we can stay at that level, as then it is just (LOL) $5,000-$8,000 per month.
Smiles
Kim in N. California9 -
Hugs to Beth and Annie especially. End of life details are so emotional anyway, even without the financial issues. I'm sorry you are navigating this for your parents.
Take care of yourselves.
Insurance approved a PET scan, the first in over two years. (We have been doing CT and Bone scans every six months.) It's scheduled for Tuesday and the scanxiety has already begun. PET can pick up more than CT so we will really see what's going on, if anything.
Flea
Willamette Valley OR9 -
Annie, I have no advice (sage or otherwise) but I send hugs to you. Every situation is different and what works in one household may not work in another, See what senior services are available to help you sort out options and don't be shy about asking for help. Also remember that you cannot control everything no matter how hard you try.Rita, Thank you for sharing your food list, We could all benefit from using it as a basis for healthy eating. I usually eat well but sometimes the siren song of Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Therapy ice cream is more than I can resist. Jake should avoid potatoes because of the potassium but he is easily lured by french fries or mashed potatoes. We all know what to do, it's actually doing it that is hard.Lanette, your diabetes class definitely uses James Clear tactics. I started with baby steps when I found MFP and it worked for me. When I started on Isagenix in 2009, their videos showed people cleaning out their fridges and cupboards and throwing away all the foods that didn't fit the plan. I couldn't do that because of the thrifty way I was raised but after eating all the offending foods a bit at a time, I didn't buy them again. Our intentional food shopping was quite obvious when we got the card about the letter carriers food drive today. We have absolutely no food in our house that wasn't purchased intentionally with a meal or snack in mind and there is no food close to the expiration date due to being on the shelf for a long time. Barbie in NW WA 5 -
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Afternoon ladies
Annie- all I can say is I've been in your shoes sort of..only thing is my mother in law was smart and had the house put in my brother in laws name 7 yrs before my father in law needed to be in a home ,so that didn't get touched.
Like I said..if you can speak with a social worker,or his Dr about elder care services..
It was phenomenal for my FIL..they go by his income..so it was his SS and pension and he went to adult daycare m-f transportation included,hot meal and activities..it was wonderful..he also got meals on wheels,which he promptly locked them out of the house lol,also companion and homakers 4 hrs both Saterday and Sunday,it took the butsen off my brother and sister in law..who didn't care for him anyway..thats a story for another time..
But that would solve a whole bunch of your problems right there..and for my FIL it was 108.00 a month.
Ours was Connecticut Community Care for the Elderly.but im sure Delaware has something along the same lines..
Its a rainy yucky day here..oh well.5 -
gratitudes:
Saturday: Joe telling me about Shadow responding to his call, after checking the yard and drive. He’s really becoming more patient with her, understanding her behaviors, even appreciating her devotion to guard duty.
Friday: voted and grateful for the privilege.
Thursday: Did balance games, knee pt yay. Got some steps in, but not enough for the “move more than yesterday” goal. [sigh] Way way way too many sweets before bed, foo.
Barbie you and Jake did better than Joe and I with our nephews. Did you and Jake include his sons when crafting of those rules? We failed to provide nephews with united guidance, only one of our many failures.
Tracey yours to Debbie about her DH and MIL’s opinions of her. Truth.
Lisa ‘but being polite to your neighbors IS still a thing.’ A challenge when they’re burning stinky trash, or (as in our case) firing off “practice rounds” in the middle of the night… Big part of his charm. What a blessing it didn’t make him conceited, arrogant, a jerk, like sooo many of handsome guys. Hooray for the good BIL news!
Heather hooray for comfort! And writing more and more words. And Finley’s safe arrival. Hip hip hooray!
Lanette, when I left Joe, I took the dogs with me. I think initially he was more upset that I took Scooter, than that I left . . .
Margaret, very very very well done. Agree, you can pay the grocer or pay the doctor, your choice. You inspire me to try making my own yoghurt, need some high protein breakfast, don’t like eggs. Just hope it doesn’t plug me up like cottage cheese used to.
Allie well begun is half done! One foot in front of the other.
Rita can you call the Dr and ask why the Jardiance? National cherry cobbler day, yum! Well done on the food research/spreadsheet.
Tracey, before he retired, our appliance repair guy said the same thing about Samsung and LG appliances. Recommended GE or KitchenAid for stoves and Whirlpool for refrigerators.
the nativity! What you said about bottling things up, not wanting Joe to be upset with me was my share of our troubles. When we reached the breaking point our counselor gave us a vocabulary, series of code words, to open communication lines in a non threatening productive way. Honestly it was easier for me than quitting smoking, didn’t have to be hospitalized or on oxygen :laugh:
Annie ((hugs)) Thankful for the kind stranger and the welfare check follow up and that you hid the key. If he asks, can tell him it’s in the shop? Hope the Dr. helps your Dad understand he can no longer drive or walk by himself. Maybe he’ll have recommendations about memory care. Hard times. ((hugs held extra long))
Carol how frustrating and scary! How long does he have to wait to see the gastro? Could they give him the camera tablet immediately?
Debbie it took a straw breaking the camel’s back incident for me and even then I didn’t communicate well, just said “I will NOT!” and left. As awful as it was, it got us to counseling and the last nine years have been so much better than the previous ten.
Michele “Vince found 4 of the kittens” Sorry I must have missed that. Did a queen deliver somewhere on your property? He has a loving heart! How does Shadow do with kittens? Better to be sensitive to chlorine than to sauerkraut. . . imho :laugh:
Barbie it’s so hard for me to understand not needing treatment yet. It was so pounded into my head that early detection and treatment were the keys to success. Now I wonder if the bean counters are hedging their bets, withholding treatment hoping we’ll “age out”? With me it’s the siren song of B&J’s NY Super Fudge Chunk. . . :devil:
Welcome @SherryRueter Sherry in TN. Hop right in wherever. This is a wise, wonderful, supportive group.
Machka thanks for sharing your Grandfather’s and Rowan’s experiences. “The thing is it’s not his fault. He needs protection.” Truth. Will be very hard to do, but truth.
Terri I’d go mad to be without my phone for that many days. Hope you get help to get it fixed soon.
Beth “hurts,” “sucks” and “heart breaking.” “Sleeps all the time?” Is hospice a consideration? ((gentle hugs held extra extra long))
Rebecca glad you were able to simmer chicken. How soon after the floors are done will you get the rest of your kitchen back?
Kim thank you for sharing your info. Knowledge helps to ease the anxiety, even when it’s a shocker. How do you determine which facilities are good?
Flea “scanxiety” great word. Prayers you get a miraculous “all clear.”
Time for balance games and pt before breakfast, then take Shadow early to dog group to work off her tendency to pull. “Leash arm” may have been one of the precursors to the tear in my shoulder.
Later, lighter, lovelies!
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMODMove more than yesterday, fuel better than yesterday, live NOW.
Open heart and mind before mouth.
2024: Strengthen: body, mind, heart-connections.
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Just work. Pretty soon I’ll take a walk. Lector at the church tonight. Went to WalMart because Jess is coming tonight and I’ll make a casserole and needed some ingredients.
Sherry – if you’re looking for an actively posting group, hold onto your hat. Seriously, this thread moves f-a-s-t. What kind of exercise do you like to do?
‘
Tracey – oops! Well, Aspen is beautiful
barbie – yea for you and Jake
Lanette – the prices of going to a restaurant are outrageous. That’s part of the reason we eat so much at home. Jess is coming tonight and suggested we go out. Vince said “why don’t we eat at home” so I made a Mexican casserole. He won’t eat it so any leftovers she’ll be taking home. So sorry your dinner was such a disappointment. I know a while ago Vince went to 5 Guys, A hamburger, fries and Coke – $20
Beth and Annie – my heart goes out to you gals
And Margaret – your friend
Rebecca – I sprayed the bejesus out of those muffin cups and the brownies STILL stuck. Well, the cake is OK, I’ll just need to ice it tomorrow
Flea – wooshing good thoughts today, tomorrow, Mon and especially Tues for a good outcome
There’s a problem with the a/c and the guy is supposed to be here shortly. Hopefully, he can fix whatever is the problem today since we leave Tuesday to go to Denise’s. Vince said that while I was at WalMart PJ called to ask “where are you grandpa and grandma”. He thought we should have been there today!
Michele NC
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Jake had major treatment for his cancer when it was first detected. They monitor him with blood tests every 3-6 months. The agreed protocol is to wait until certain numbers reach a certain level before treating again. The numbers are going up slowly and treatment will come eventually but there will be frequent monitoring until then
🤩🥰🌻Barbie in NW WA5 -
@Machka9, I am so proud of you for conquering the Tour de fronds. I would love to do something like that. Way to go! @grandmallie, those boys looking at the chicken pictures are priceless.
@cityjanelondon I love Bea's dive through the donut hole. It's pretty impressive. Be patient with her; she is demonstrating leadership skills as the oldest. Gentle guidance as she learns how to lead is essential. My daughter was bossy and constantly yelled at her little brother, but she was also protective.
@LisaInArkansas, enjoy your weekend with your family.
@exermom I say brava for bringing your meals. We have a burger place called 5guys, and I bring sandwich thins as my bread and put the patty in; I eat five fries to get it out of my system( I love fries and lots of ketchup). I pack snacks for our road trips to stay on the program.
@Anniesquats100 It is hard work managing your aging parents; I had to check on my mom yesterday at the nursing home. I need to plan what to do if she passes, and if I pass first, who will care for her? Just typing about it, I just remembered that I need a handicap sign on my car to take my mom to the doctor. I try to have her sit while I park so she doesn't have to walk too far with her walker. I am in the sandwich era, where I manage my away college son and daughter, trying to learn how to be a good citizen and
care for our mothers. Our(me and my husband) fathers both died six mos apart. So, Annie, I know it is more than a notion to care for your dad.
@auntiebk, thank you for the warm welcome. Ladies have a wonderful weekend.5 -
Barbie - I'm so glad Jake's numbers mean he doesn't have to go in soon for more treatment.
Tracey - I'm so sorry your dinner with Rodger wasn't what you hoped it would be. When you have a taste in your mouth for something, and make a special trip for it, and it just isn't right, it seems doubly disappointing.
However, from your lips to my husband's ears, apparently. When I got up from my nap, Cor and Pat had taken down all 20 yards of the old hog wire fence, recovered all the metal T-posts and got the rusted, brush-filled fencing in the roll-off dumpster. And they took the big zero turn mower to it and cut down the remaining light brush. Looks like it was never there. That was the last really big job near the house that needed doing before they pick up at the end of the month!
I went out and expressed lots of thanks, and meant every word - I was not looking forward to yanking those fence posts out. Even with leverage and the right tools, it's a job. Less of a job, apparently, if you're six feet tall! They're both just sweated down though, it's near 90 degrees in our backyard, comfortable only in the shade now. The only thing better than having a man around who is willing to work hard, apparently is having two. They sound so much alike, I have to turn to see which one is smiling at me when they talk. Cor's really enjoying having his brother here, I know, and there is no drama in sight, which makes me happy.
So many good thoughts going out to all of you on the caregivers' paths, in whatever stage. It is such a hard journey. My heart goes out to you.
Later, my dears,
Lisa in AR
8 -
Anniesquats100 wrote: »Good morning ladies.
Thank you Lisa, Michele, Heather, Machka, Tracey and Terri for your kind words about my dad.
When I heard the door, he left and drove back to his physical therapy thinking he had another appointment because he read the wrong day on the calendar. But he had just finished there two hours ago.
Machka, there are bells on the doors just hanging on the doorknobs so I do hear him. And we have a doctor appointment Monday. I'm hoping they can help convince him to stop driving.
I went over to talk to my aunt and she thinks we should put him in a home for memory care. I'm naturally reluctant both because he couldn't go on his long walks and because of the risk of having to sell the house to pay for it. But the wandering problem will only get worse in the fall when he wants to go out in the dark. It's a safe town, and his balance is better from all the PT. But I wonder how often he gets lost and doesn't tell me.
Such a worry. When his PT is over, he will go back to wanting to go out for ice cream every day. He takes his picture of Mom and shows it to strangers. He needs more social activity than I do. So sad, because he used to be a physicist and was usually the smartest person in every room, but so humble. Now he gets so confused.
So I hid my Mom's old car key. And the doctor will help make the decision about driving. And the issue of memory care is something to look into for the fall. Everything changes!
Annie in Delaware
Annie- is there senior "daycare" available in your area. That would give your dad social interaction plus a safe place where they can really watch him. It would be quite a bit cheaper than moving him to assisted living. He would still be at home at night. This would also give you a little time to do your things
We have a Senior Center here and they offer lots of activities
Debbie
4 -
And... the rest of the story - while the guys were out grocery shopping (grilled sweet potatoes for dinner, yum!) they also found a place for Pat's camper/trailer, and he paid for a month up front, and it's five minutes from work, which he will also start Monday at a reasonable wage, and they'll go together and get his little "house" tomorrow, and he won't be staying with us! I love my life... I really do.
7 -
Good evening all:
Missed too much to comment on all.
Beth-congratulations on hearing-what miracles they can do now. Sorry for your mother's episode.
Annie-you and your sister need to figure what is best for your father. Providing him the best care uni can may mean it costs the house-you need to check the rules. You may be permitted continued to live there even if he goes to a home until he passes. If you want to keep him at home you need to be ready for the impact to your life.
My brother (who had the major back surgery and has the start of dementia) is experiencing an episode of delirium. He is having conversations with God (and he has never been religious). He is telling us God has told him people are dead and other things. I took them dinner Tuesday night and stayed for 2.5 hours-he had no memory of my visit. They have a brain MRI scheduled for next Friday. He has no apparent infection or anything else to explain the sharp change. Hopefully this will be reversible.
I have spent day resting and getting some housework done. Discovered I am out of scouring powder. Going to walk to Dollar General and pick some up. Haven't gotten any really exercise today or many steps, so that will help.
Take care all,
Ginny in Ohio7 -
Beth: It’s so heartbreaking when our olds get to that stage. My heart goes out to you, and any others who are looking after failing elders.
Annie: Is it possible to get your dad into daycare of some kind?
🤗🤗🤗 and 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 for those who need them.
🙋♀️ Miele failte to the newbies.
☘️ Terri3 -
Talked to my friend's daughter. She is at the sleeping most of the time stage and not saying much. I told her to keep talking to her. I believe it helps my friend and her daughter. Her other daughter who lives in Seattle flew back so she is surrounded by her children. She is in a hospice setting in the nursing home section of the complex where she lives.
My mother in law died in a similar setting as did another friend of mine about 15 years ago. I did go to see them. It is not the way I want to remember them. I am choosing to remember my friend the last time I took her for lunch on her birthday and when she came to church for mother's day. I also have a cold right now brought on by bad air pollution from wild fires in Canada and not sleeping the best for a number of nights because I overdid my gardening. I don't want to risk giving this to her or her loved ones. They have enough to deal with right now!
Annie here we have a program run by the Wilder foundation that a loved one with dementia would go to during the day. It does give the caregiver a break. My MIL went to such a program. It wasn't her favorite but she was very unhappy living here in St. Paul that was the real issue not the Wilder program. This was twenty years ago. I would hope there is something like it close to you. It did give DH some peace of mind.4
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