"Why are you single?"
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On a recent episode of Tough Love they had speed dates - they were given literally one minute to talk and most of the people asked the other "Why are you single?'". I kind of liked the one guy's answer: "Because I'm a *kitten*." But the rest just squirmed and lied and minimized...one guy uncomfortably admitted to a couple of women that it was because he'd cheated on every girlfriend he ever had, but isn't that kind of TMI for a 1-minute speed date?
So how do you answer that question when you get it? Do you answer with the stock "I just haven't found the right person"? I mean, it would take some serious gut-purging (not to mention a full review of all my past relationships) to explain why I'm single, but that's not something I'm going to do with anyone but close friends or family, or a therapist if I had one.
For those that ask that question on the first date - and I know you're out there - don't you think that's a pretty rude question to ask someone you barely know?
So how do you answer that question when you get it? Do you answer with the stock "I just haven't found the right person"? I mean, it would take some serious gut-purging (not to mention a full review of all my past relationships) to explain why I'm single, but that's not something I'm going to do with anyone but close friends or family, or a therapist if I had one.
For those that ask that question on the first date - and I know you're out there - don't you think that's a pretty rude question to ask someone you barely know?
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Replies
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Being a King I am very picky!!!!0
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Lol I have no idea how I would answer that question, how would you answer that question? I think I would tend toward... I fell in love with the wrong people more than once lol... But isn't that how everyone ends up single unless they really are "*kitten*"0
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Thats a question that could be looked at from another perspective: "Why are you with someone?" I look at some peoples relationships, and i just dont get it.0
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Speed dating just seems like speed rejection to me.
I'm single because i'm focusing on my school/work life and don't have time for a relationship.0 -
I'm single because I'm too pretty to be lied to, cheated on, or played with
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On a recent episode of Tough Love they had speed dates - they were given literally one minute to talk and most of the people asked the other "Why are you single?'". I kind of liked the one guy's answer: "Because I'm a *kitten*." But the rest just squirmed and lied and minimized...one guy uncomfortably admitted to a couple of women that it was because he'd cheated on every girlfriend he ever had, but isn't that kind of TMI for a 1-minute speed date?
So how do you answer that question when you get it? Do you answer with the stock "I just haven't found the right person"? I mean, it would take some serious gut-purging (not to mention a full review of all my past relationships) to explain why I'm single, but that's not something I'm going to do with anyone but close friends or family, or a therapist if I had one.
For those that ask that question on the first date - and I know you're out there - don't you think that's a pretty rude question to ask someone you barely know?
Not single, but I don't see how that question is rude. It's gonna come up eventually anyways, when it comes up is irrelevant. If the answer is damaging to the possibility of a future relationship it's not going to get better with time. If it's not damaging to the relationship then what's the argument?0 -
I also think it's kinda rude. why does it matter why I'm single? what if, up until the point of going on the date, I had decided to be without a relationship? every time I've been asked that I have to stop myself from rolling my eyes. same with when I'm asked why my last relationship ended -- how and why is this relevant?? personally I think it's also kind of pointless because, as you said, the repeat offenders just dodged the question and lied anyway. there are other ways to recognize red flags if you are aware of them and not ignoring gut feelings.
eta: briefly mentioning how a previous relationship ended is fine, but talking about past relationships too quickly is such a red flag. it is SO annoying to hear about your ***** ex girlfriend over and over again. I really don't care and don't want to know. seriously.0 -
I'm single because I choose to be. I am happy being single and don't feel that I am missing anything. My 14 year old daughter is my priority and in all honesty I don't have time for a relationship. I work, I study, I have my own fitness goals to achieve and I will get there.
Must admit I have questioned myself a few times as to why I am so independent and don't feel the need to be involved in a relationship. Could be to do with how I saw relationships when I was growing up. My father was a nasty controlling man and my mum had a very unhappy marriage up until I was 15 then they split. I got married at 23 and looking back I was like my mum, introverted, my opinions didn't matter, he had his own agenda (just like my dad). So probably a lot of why I am happy being alone is to do with my past.
And yes I agree with marcimlarson about looking at some peoples relationships and I just don't get it. :noway:0 -
Not single, but I don't see how that question is rude. It's gonna come up eventually anyways, when it comes up is irrelevant. If the answer is damaging to the possibility of a future relationship it's not going to get better with time. If it's not damaging to the relationship then what's the argument?
Because maybe the person you're asking isn't comfortable giving a glib, one-line "because I'm awesome" response. Because maybe it's NOYDB. I just think conversation should be light in the beginning, not straight to the gut shot.0 -
I'm single because my standards are wayyy too high and I'm a pretty busy person.0
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Thats a question that could be looked at from another perspective: "Why are you with someone?" I look at some peoples relationships, and i just dont get it.
I agree with this!
Eta, but to answer the question, I would also give the "high standards" reason a pp mentioned.0 -
I always say that "I haven't met that ONE special person, who I would like torture for the rest of his life" :-)0
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Because guys have way too much drama.0
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Never really thought about it... just figured when the right one and I find each other we will know
No reason to force relationships0 -
I am quirky and blunt. I break ice using a very dry, wretched sense of humor and it backfires. I also do not go around pretending to be a hot shot, even though I am.0
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Because guys have way too much drama.
But I only cried when it was my period!0 -
Whatever comment you want to apply to the question, my only answer, and not a happy one, my husband died. Next time put more thought into a question.0
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I know that I'm waaaay too picky. My friends get frustrated with me that I don't find a lot of guys that attractive. But luckily, I don't mind being alone, so I'm still going to hold out for someone terrific.
And I totally agree with the other person about turning the question around and asking why you are with someone. I think another reason I'm single is that I watch my friends' relationships and think, "Good lord, that does NOT look fun!"0 -
Because being alone is better?0
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I got asked "why, are at your age, have you never been married". I replied "Marriage offers no benefits to the male species." Yea, she was mad LOL0
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