"Why are you single?"

1235713

Replies

  • iangelbailey10
    iangelbailey10 Posts: 51 Member
    I'm single b/c I'm like flypaper for freaks.. lol..
  • justicer68
    justicer68 Posts: 1,223
    Ok I have thought about it and am going to post my own answer and not "quote" someone else.

    I believe I am single because I am somewhat relationship challenged. I'm thinking that means that I won't allow myself to get close to someone to take the chance of getting hurt...yet again. This is about as honest as I can be about it without saying, "Oh I am happy being by myself" which I am for the most part because I do like myself but I don't think we as humans are meant to be alone in this world. One day maybe I will allow myself to take a chance again.
  • UrbanLotus
    UrbanLotus Posts: 1,163 Member
    This is the most idiotic question ever, I pretty much write men off if they ask it. It basically implies that something is "wrong" with you and thats why you're single - so I answer with equal idiocy (I have a secret penis, I'm schizophrenic, etc). I never understand what kind of answer people are expecting?

    The case for most people (if they are looking/on the market) IS that they haven't found the right person - unfortunately you can't wave a magic wand and find a great partner, and I would rather be single than be with someone just for the sake of being in a relationship. Asking the question sounds like you have 100% control over it!

    ETA - most times I think men mean it as a compliment (and I really don't think this is something women ever ask)...like "you're so pretty, why are you single" which is even dumber! How does being pretty mean you shouldn't automatically be in a relationship? Just because you aren't in a relationship doesn't mean no one has hit on you, and just because someone hits on you doesn't mean you have to take them up on it.

    Sorry for the rant, this is one of my biggest pet peeves :).
  • UrbanLotus
    UrbanLotus Posts: 1,163 Member
    I'm thinking about this, and I'm not sure I'd like to be asked that question on a date, off the bat. Because anyone I'd want to spend a serious amount of time with would know that sometimes things don't work out, that grownups have histories, etc. They wouldn't attribute being single to some personal flaw, they'd know that we all go through stuff. & figuring out compatibility, etc, would come from just a normal conversation, at first.

    You said i better than I did :). And in my experience, many many men ask this on dating sites, like in the first message! Totally off the bat, not cool.
  • JewelsinBigD
    JewelsinBigD Posts: 661 Member
    I got asked "why, are at your age, have you never been married". I replied "Marriage offers no benefits to the male species." Yea, she was mad LOL
    This is why men and women are single. There is no one single benefit to being married as a man - except that you will live longer but young men rarely worry about this. And if no men are marrying then no woman are marrying...so there you have it. If women ever decide not to sleep with every Tom **** and Harry they meet - then people will marry again. Until then, I see marriage as growing more and more extinct. I am not bashing women - just telling it like it is. If you want things to change then WOMEN must change them. Otherwise, enjoy being single.
  • This content has been removed.
  • SwitzEngine
    SwitzEngine Posts: 3,418 Member
    Because guys have way too much drama.

    Thats not true :-)
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
    deleted
  • This content has been removed.
  • UrbanLotus
    UrbanLotus Posts: 1,163 Member
    This is the most idiotic question ever, I pretty much write men off if they ask it. It basically implies that something is "wrong" with you and thats why you're single - so I answer with equal idiocy (I have a secret penis, I'm schizophrenic, etc). I never understand what kind of answer people are expecting?

    The case for most people (if they are looking/on the market) IS that they haven't found the right person - unfortunately you can't wave a magic wand and find a great partner, and I would rather be single than be with someone just for the sake of being in a relationship. Asking the question sounds like you have 100% control over it!

    ETA - most times I think men mean it as a compliment (and I really don't think this is something women ever ask)...like "you're so pretty, why are you single" which is even dumber! How does being pretty mean you shouldn't automatically be in a relationship? Just because you aren't in a relationship doesn't mean no one has hit on you, and just because someone hits on you doesn't mean you have to take them up on it.

    Sorry for the rant, this is one of my biggest pet peeves :).

    No. The most idiotic question in the world is,

    ..."what do you do?"

    Why? You may not like it, but at least it makes sense and has an actual valid answer.
  • This content has been removed.
  • UrbanLotus
    UrbanLotus Posts: 1,163 Member
    This is the most idiotic question ever, I pretty much write men off if they ask it. It basically implies that something is "wrong" with you and thats why you're single - so I answer with equal idiocy (I have a secret penis, I'm schizophrenic, etc). I never understand what kind of answer people are expecting?

    The case for most people (if they are looking/on the market) IS that they haven't found the right person - unfortunately you can't wave a magic wand and find a great partner, and I would rather be single than be with someone just for the sake of being in a relationship. Asking the question sounds like you have 100% control over it!

    ETA - most times I think men mean it as a compliment (and I really don't think this is something women ever ask)...like "you're so pretty, why are you single" which is even dumber! How does being pretty mean you shouldn't automatically be in a relationship? Just because you aren't in a relationship doesn't mean no one has hit on you, and just because someone hits on you doesn't mean you have to take them up on it.

    Sorry for the rant, this is one of my biggest pet peeves :).

    No. The most idiotic question in the world is,

    ..."what do you do?"

    Why? You may not like it, but at least it makes sense and has an actual valid answer.

    It doesn't. I'm not going to go into it. It's a stupid question. That's all I'm going to say. If you enjoy being asked, then that's great. I prefer genuine original thinking and effort. If that's all you're going to ask me, then you'd be better off to walk away.

    Who said that is "all" anyone is going to ask? Original thinking and effort is great, but what is your issue with asking basic get to know you questions ALSO? Is it wrong to ask someone's name too?

    I don't *enjoy* being asked, but I don't care either way. Its a harmless question that tells you what someone does for 40+ hours a week, so it makes sense to me.
  • RuleFive
    RuleFive Posts: 880 Member
    I'm single b/c I'm like flypaper for freaks.. lol..

    How you doin?
  • This content has been removed.
  • UrbanLotus
    UrbanLotus Posts: 1,163 Member
    This is the most idiotic question ever, I pretty much write men off if they ask it. It basically implies that something is "wrong" with you and thats why you're single - so I answer with equal idiocy (I have a secret penis, I'm schizophrenic, etc). I never understand what kind of answer people are expecting?

    The case for most people (if they are looking/on the market) IS that they haven't found the right person - unfortunately you can't wave a magic wand and find a great partner, and I would rather be single than be with someone just for the sake of being in a relationship. Asking the question sounds like you have 100% control over it!

    ETA - most times I think men mean it as a compliment (and I really don't think this is something women ever ask)...like "you're so pretty, why are you single" which is even dumber! How does being pretty mean you shouldn't automatically be in a relationship? Just because you aren't in a relationship doesn't mean no one has hit on you, and just because someone hits on you doesn't mean you have to take them up on it.

    Sorry for the rant, this is one of my biggest pet peeves :).

    No. The most idiotic question in the world is,

    ..."what do you do?"

    Why? You may not like it, but at least it makes sense and has an actual valid answer.

    It doesn't. I'm not going to go into it. It's a stupid question. That's all I'm going to say. If you enjoy being asked, then that's great. I prefer genuine original thinking and effort. If that's all you're going to ask me, then you'd be better off to walk away.

    Who said that is "all" anyone is going to ask? Original thinking and effort is great, but what is your issue with asking basic get to know you questions ALSO? Is it wrong to ask someone's name too?

    I don't *enjoy* being asked, but I don't care either way. Its a harmless question that tells you what someone does for 40+ hours a week, so it makes sense to me.

    It's a lame question. /end. Especially if it starts with, "So..."

    LOL excellent argument.
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    I got asked "why, are at your age, have you never been married". I replied "Marriage offers no benefits to the male species." Yea, she was mad LOL
    This is why men and women are single. There is no one single benefit to being married as a man - except that you will live longer but young men rarely worry about this. And if no men are marrying then no woman are marrying...so there you have it. If women ever decide not to sleep with every Tom **** and Harry they meet - then people will marry again. Until then, I see marriage as growing more and more extinct. I am not bashing women - just telling it like it is. If you want things to change then WOMEN must change them. Otherwise, enjoy being single.

    There are no true benefits. In the old days, men and women died in their 30's, for the most part. Life was short. So, you get married, have kids, work hard, and die.

    Now, people live so freaking long...how can two people live together that long? It's not normal or natural. Some people do it, I get that. But, the vast majority of people will not. I can see marriage actually becoming a thing of the past. And, it will be more common for people to have multiple partners over their lifetime. I think that people are pretty good together for around the 10 year mark. Actual research says every 7, but from what I see, in my very tiny small sample sets of real life, it's more like around 10-ish. Then, the two get antsy, start hating each other, and want out. I think it's normal. Humans are sexual beings. Having sex with the same person for 20 years is just boring as hell. It doesn't mean you don't love them, but come on.

    Additionally, economically, we don't need each other. We used to be a team. The woman cleaned, cooked, took care of the home, and the man worked on the farm, and hunted for food and all that jazz. It was like a machine. It worked and everyone played their part. In modern society, we are not a team. Neither party really needs the other. I mean, it's nice, but it's not necessary.

    Mostly agree but not so sure. Just when women finally got into the whole career thing as a matter of course, the economy tanked, and the bulk of job growth now consists of part time service jobs. The cheapest daycare in my province costs $1000 a month.

    Qualifying for a mortgage in my bubble of a city is a nightmare, impossible for the average single person of either gender. Many singles I know are resigned to renting for life. Which imo is totally acceptable and for many makes the best financial sense, but leaves them without equity & social credit & power (the ability to trade on a mortgage).

    I think marriage will be more popular than it has been in the past 20 years or so.

    Keywords: children, property, wealth or just getting by
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
    seinfeld-show-7.jpg
  • GypsyRoad2
    GypsyRoad2 Posts: 433 Member
    Well I'm an Aquarius and we are freedom lovers, but really I just don't want to worry about what some man wants all the time. I've waited on my fair share of 'em, but it just ain't me!!!! Most of the women I know baby their men and it sucks!!! Awwww well....lol
  • Natihilator
    Natihilator Posts: 1,778 Member

    ETA - most times I think men mean it as a compliment (and I really don't think this is something women ever ask)

    Wrong. I got asked this question by a woman. A woman who's ex is interested in me (though I didn't really know it at the time). And she asked me this question in front of him. I just said I'm currently enjoying my independence and she dove right into "but you ARE interested in someone right now, aren't you?!"

    It was as painfully awkward as it sounded.
  • Determined518
    Determined518 Posts: 138 Member
    I would probably reply, "I killed my last 3 boyfriends."
  • I think the stock answer "because I haven't found the right person" is really the only answer. Just like some people refuse online dating because they say it doesn't work. You never know if it will work or not. Every relationship is different. I can say it hasn't worked for me at a bar, at a grocery store, at a coffee shop, at a library, online, etc. It has worked in all of those places for other people. It's always different. Some work, some don't.
  • .
  • Karabobarra
    Karabobarra Posts: 782 Member
    I got asked "why, are at your age, have you never been married". I replied "Marriage offers no benefits to the male species." Yea, she was mad LOL

    This made me laugh.... because I feel the same way except for the female species....lol.
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
    "I haven't found the right one" to put up with my special brand of crazy.
  • GypsyRoad2
    GypsyRoad2 Posts: 433 Member
    "I haven't found the right one" to put up with my special brand of crazy.

    That's funny!!!
  • weightedfootsteps
    weightedfootsteps Posts: 4,349 Member
    Honestly its because I haven't met anyone I'm actually interested in. And I don't think it is a rude question. Lots of people actually ask me that question..LOL. Yet, for some reason, I still am single.
  • AtlantisLoss
    AtlantisLoss Posts: 32 Member
    Meh. If I can't love myself, how can I love someone else?

    I'll work on loving me first.

    :heart:
  • post-11869-Aubrey-Plaza-Im-too-awkward-to-bBwa.png
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    Okay I want to preface this by saying 1) I'm not single and 2) I'm not trying to be rude to people who are and ACTUALLY like it that way.

    But does it drive anyone else batty when people say "I'm happy being single" or "I'm just taking time to work on me" but then complain like crazy anytime there's a wedding or a party and they don't have a date and beg you to set them up with every single person you know?

    Maybe it's just me...

    Some people are tired of being harassed by stupid norm-enforcing questions, & made anxious by it. It's just easier to fend off intrusive questions if you're shielded by company, I guess. Even 'nice' comments like 'hope it's your turn soon!'.

    Plus maybe it's payback for having to hear about the stupid wedding ( & pay to attend that & the engagement party, stag/stagette, god worse if it's a bloody destination wedding) for the entire bloody year.

    That said I personally like going on my own. Weddings are *great* for lazy singles (dance card full, zero effort, already dressed).
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    People have already given some of my reasons..

    I won't tolerate being treated like crap. Finding someone who doesn't lie, cheat on, or try to play you seems difficult these days.

    The drama they bring with them.

    But oddly, a guy who's younger than me might be a better match. Whenever I've dated someone my own age, the guy lives like he's already got one foot in the grave. No, I don't want someone who is overweight and won't take care of himself. I'm overweight, but doing something about it.

    And no I don't want to date you, if all you ever want to do is go out to eat, go to the movies, and hang around one of our respective houses. I like to travel, and hike, and do fun things.
    I want to go out with someone who'd teach me how to sail. I'm not old enough to live like I'm already dying.