"Why are you single?"

Options
24567…19

Replies

  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,285 Member
    Options
    Whatever comment you want to apply to the question, my only answer, and not a happy one, my husband died. Next time put more thought into a question.

    Its a perfectly fine question. Sorry for your loss.
  • NYChick84
    NYChick84 Posts: 331 Member
    Options
    I seem to attract the wrong guys. This time around, I'm being super picky in whom I choose to date. I guess I didn't have high enough standards for myself. I'm fun, outgoing, energetic, educated, intelligent, have a good job, an amazing family, optimistic, well traveled.....Why can't I seem to find someone who is of the same caliber as me??
  • Mobilemuscle
    Mobilemuscle Posts: 945 Member
    Options
    its just better to be able to throw that D*** everywhere I want to

    oh, and cuz Im too picky(seems to be the common reason here)...
  • EmilyJackCO
    EmilyJackCO Posts: 621 Member
    Options
    On a recent episode of Tough Love they had speed dates - they were given literally one minute to talk and most of the people asked the other "Why are you single?'". I kind of liked the one guy's answer: "Because I'm a *kitten*." But the rest just squirmed and lied and minimized...one guy uncomfortably admitted to a couple of women that it was because he'd cheated on every girlfriend he ever had, but isn't that kind of TMI for a 1-minute speed date?

    So how do you answer that question when you get it? Do you answer with the stock "I just haven't found the right person"? I mean, it would take some serious gut-purging (not to mention a full review of all my past relationships) to explain why I'm single, but that's not something I'm going to do with anyone but close friends or family, or a therapist if I had one.

    For those that ask that question on the first date - and I know you're out there - don't you think that's a pretty rude question to ask someone you barely know?

    A) Because I have issues that can't be solved overnight or with champagne, roses and chocolate. I've come many many miles from where I was, and continue to make progress (backward or forward, it's still progress!) and grow. Or if I'm feeling particularly snarky, 'because I have don't play well with others.'

    B) I think that it is a pretty invasive question for a first date. But I haven't been on a first date in..... well, I won't admit for how long. Having watched the evolution of society along with the growth of the media and Internet culture, though - I can see how many would not think it rude to ask. We overshare everything with strangers, so it seems perfectly normal to ask. However, it sets the stage for prejudgment as well, and that's not a good place to start from.
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,285 Member
    Options
    Because others are picky.
  • SadFaerie
    SadFaerie Posts: 243 Member
    Options
    Not single, but I don't see how that question is rude. It's gonna come up eventually anyways, when it comes up is irrelevant. If the answer is damaging to the possibility of a future relationship it's not going to get better with time. If it's not damaging to the relationship then what's the argument?
    It's kinda rude as most of the time it's like asking "What's wrong with you, why nobody wants you?" It's an awkward question for a first date, speed or not.

    Oh, and I think I'll start answering "Cause I'm a *kitten*", like question, like answer. Me likes.
  • Mobilemuscle
    Mobilemuscle Posts: 945 Member
    Options
    well at least it gets you str8 to the point...lol
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    Options
    I'm single because I'm too pretty to be lied to, cheated on, or played with ;)

    Haha same here! I finally found a good one though. :)
  • Aviendha_RJ
    Aviendha_RJ Posts: 600 Member
    Options
    My reply is usually... "Because I realized after two years in my last relationship that I didn't know whether he loved me. And I deserve way better than that. I don't want to settle in my life."

    A) it's true
    B) it's brief
    C) it's not TMI
    D) it subtly lets the other person know that you won't let them walk all over you.
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    Options
    Not dating right now, so I haven't been asked that question by anyone other than annoying older distant relatives. I'm happy single for now -- am busy with my own stuff in life -- and would rather die alone than spend my life in a miserable marriage. I just tell people the first part (because most of them are in miserable marriages).

    Is it a rude question on a date? Idk, depends how it's asked, whether the person asking has also been through [divorce, abuse, etc] and can share in understanding around that. Ultimately people want to know if you're damaged goods. I guess it's a fair question, probably rude, yes.
  • Howdoyoufeeltoday
    Howdoyoufeeltoday Posts: 481 Member
    Options
    I'm single so I can look at profile pictures of good looking men on fitness sites and not feel bad about it!! :noway:

    my aunt keeps asking me when I'm gonna find a boyfriend. It's annoying and I usually just give stupid, sarcastic answers. Cause let's face it, when someone asks you that question they don't want to hear you say "When I get over my trust issues" or "i'm single cause I have a fear of commitment and the whole dating process just gets on my nerves"....that makes for awkward dinner atmosphere.
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    Options
    I got asked "why, are at your age, have you never been married". I replied "Marriage offers no benefits to the male species." Yea, she was mad LOL

    Only while you're young, it's different later. For women it sucks way more pretty much all the way through, but does help around the costs of reproduction etc.

    haha, yeah, why am i single?
  • ryall70
    ryall70 Posts: 519 Member
    Options
    I'm single because my standards are wayyy too high and I'm a pretty busy person.

    Great answer!!! I keep adding new standards after each attempt.
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    Options
    Does anyone remember the movie "Singles" when one of the characters had trimmed her list of standards for a boyfriend down to "a guy who says bless you when I sneeze?" Lol saying "bless you" is actually a pretty big deal to me as we'll.
  • ctatchuan
    ctatchuan Posts: 50
    Options
    I'm single because my standards are wayyy too high and I'm a pretty busy person.


    Exactly! It will happen when it happens, it should feel natural, the ones who constantly ask themselves why they're single and hunt are the ones who end up with someone they wish they never did in the first place

    Besides, I work 6 days a week and also studying full time for an MBA, ain't nobody got time for that!
  • RN514
    RN514 Posts: 1,107 Member
    Options
    Does anyone remember the movie "Singles" when one of the characters had trimmed her list of standards for a boyfriend down to "a guy who says bless you when I sneeze?" Lol saying "bless you" is actually a pretty big deal to me as we'll.

    Haha! Valid point. Basic manners are a definite plus!
  • asimmons221
    asimmons221 Posts: 294 Member
    Options

    Not single, but I don't see how that question is rude. It's gonna come up eventually anyways, when it comes up is irrelevant. If the answer is damaging to the possibility of a future relationship it's not going to get better with time. If it's not damaging to the relationship then what's the argument?

    Because maybe the person you're asking isn't comfortable giving a glib, one-line "because I'm awesome" response. Because maybe it's NOYDB. I just think conversation should be light in the beginning, not straight to the gut shot.

    I can understand it should be light in the beginning, but I don't know why it's considered a gut shot. I guess it's the way the question is viewed, the way I seem to view it is in a completely non-criticizing way. Some guys even ask it in more of a compliment, though it's rhetorical.

    Personally, I see nothing wrong with someone being single for how ever long they chose, I just don't see asking it as an insult, but I guess I can understand that some people rather not be asked that question early on.
  • asimmons221
    asimmons221 Posts: 294 Member
    Options
    Not single, but I don't see how that question is rude. It's gonna come up eventually anyways, when it comes up is irrelevant. If the answer is damaging to the possibility of a future relationship it's not going to get better with time. If it's not damaging to the relationship then what's the argument?
    It's kinda rude as most of the time it's like asking "What's wrong with you, why nobody wants you?" It's an awkward question for a first date, speed or not.

    Oh, and I think I'll start answering "Cause I'm a *kitten*", like question, like answer. Me likes.

    If you see it as an insult, sure.
  • thepetiterunner
    thepetiterunner Posts: 1,238 Member
    Options
    I think it really depends on how it's phrased. I've had outstanding dates where a guy has said "How is it possible that you're available?" or something to that effect. It's still asking the same thing, but in a totally flattering way.

    And really, I think people who are single (for the most part) are simply not willing to settle. I know I'm not.
  • BluejayNY
    BluejayNY Posts: 301 Member
    Options
    Because I did not marry who I thought I did. It just wasn't right from the very beginning. I am also single because not ready to get back into dating yet.

    That would be the non TMI answer that will not include the many complex issues regarding my marriage.

    No one has asked me that question so far. I guess I assume I may have married and stayed married had I married someone else. While I am not a perfect person, I do not think I am unworthy of love and I think I am capable of being a good wife to someone someday. I am still extremely devoted and do not believe in divorce except under extreme circumstances.

Categories