what would YOU do ?

TheVimFuego

I'd be making sure my life was 100% perfect before I waded into what is somebody else's business.

Maybe she'll live to 110 and have a happy life all the while munching the ice cream. In the meantime maybe the stress of trying to keep the numbers on MFP green will drive other people to eating disorders.

Each to their own, if she asks for advice then give it until then be an example is my best advice.

AmyZ46

It really depends on your relationship . I went to my brothers house once and he had a huge plate of food in front of him and a diet coke . i laughed and laughed and he asked why I was laughing and I said I wonder how much good he was doing with his diet coke haha. He laughed and said every little bit counts

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then he had a heart attack that same year .He lost about 50 lbs and was doing well......flash to now , he's well over 300 lbs and the last time I saw him I told him I was afraid taht I would get a call that he had another heart attack because he is so overweight . he said it's just too hard ,he likes food too much . I told him I understand but that I will feel terrible if he dies and I can't see him one more time. that was in July

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he texted me yesterday that he is below 300 for the first time in 5 years ......... I would talk to her,because you love her.....

Hildy_J

I would tell her you want to have a good talk to her - then ask her how she feels about you and the family criticising her over her eating. What effects it has had on her.

Then be quiet for an hour or two while she shames you.

Ed98043

I feel more and more sorry for your sister. Her father's been criticizing her weight for 30 years, and now her brother wants to join in the chorus. If it didn't motivate her for 30 years hearing it from your dad, why would it work hearing it from you? And what exactly is your "concern"? I mean, she rode 30 miles on a bike which indicates that she's got some level of fitness (superior to many people of lesser weight, I would say), so what is it about her weight that bothers you so much? Apparently being judgmental and controlling runs with the Y chromosome in your family.

I would suggest you read some of the many threads on here about "the last straw" that started people on the path toward weight loss. I don't remember any of them saying that it was because of a relative telling them or not-so-subtly hinting to them to do it. Many report that they didn't realize how bad it had gotten until they saw a photo, saw a certain weight on the scale, couldn't fit into their "fat clothes", etc...but I'm sure your sister is acutely aware of her weight thanks to Dad's efforts over the last 3 decades.

Oh, and I drink diet soda because I prefer the taste. Yes, even if I'm having a calorie-laden meal along side it.

thomas2017

I feel more and more sorry for your sister. Her father's been criticizing her weight for 30 years, and now her brother wants to join in the chorus. If it didn't motivate her for 30 years hearing it from your dad, why would it work hearing it from you? And what exactly is your "concern"? I mean, she rode 30 miles on a bike which indicates that she's got some level of fitness (superior to many people of lesser weight, I would say), so what is it about her weight that bothers you so much? Apparently being judgmental and controlling runs with the Y chromosome in your family.

I would suggest you read some of the many threads on here about "the last straw" that started people on the path toward weight loss. I don't remember any of them saying that it was because of a relative telling them or not-so-subtly hinting to them to do it. Many report that they didn't realize how bad it had gotten until they saw a photo, saw a certain weight on the scale, couldn't fit into their "fat clothes", etc...but I'm sure your sister is acutely aware of her weight thanks to Dad's efforts over the last 3 decades.

Oh, and I drink diet soda because I prefer the taste. Yes, even if I'm having a calorie-laden meal along side it.

It is a shame you have to put such a negative spin on it.

Perhaps I did not communicate clearly enough. Or perhaps the cold black and white text we all type here makes my true intention unclear.

The only intention I have is to HELP her in a POSITIVE way. I am not here to judge or cause negative outcomes. My post here was an attempt at feedback which so far has been very helpful. God Bless all of you who have responded and I thank you for your thoughts.

Hildy_J

I am not here to judge or cause negative outcomes.

"judge /jəj/ - verb
Definition:
Form an opinion or conclusion about another person in regard to their lifestyle, appearance or habits. Commonly precedes a negative outcome."

AND here's some Christianity-based moral guidance for you to be going on with: 'Judge not lest ye be judged' then there's 'Let he who is without flab cast the first stone' and 'Thou must not covet thy sister's ice cream and waffles' also 'If thy father offends thee then cast him out'.

Good luck!

monk789

I agree about asking her just one day when you are ready to walk if she'd like to go along. I tried to tell my son, it didn't go well, I know I hurt him, not my intention. People don't take things like that as your concerned and only want the best for them, unfortunately.

QuilterInVA

You are not the fat police. Your sister knows she has a problem and you don't need to make her feel bad bringing it up. In fact, you may make her gain even more weight because she'll show you she'll eat what she wants and you can't control it. Leave her alone unless she asks for your help.