Has self love gone too far?

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TheGymGypsy
TheGymGypsy Posts: 1,023 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
So I read this article from Huffington Post which is basically about a 311 pound woman who took pictures of herself for 30 days scantily clad with "Be Beautiful" written all over her (in very public places). You can read/ see pics here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/denise-jolly/be-beautiful-how-30-days-nearly-naked-changed-life_b_3943938.html

I'm all for body love, no one should be forced to look like a fitness model if they don't want to. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication that is unrealistic for the vast majority of people. But I do believe everyone should take care of themselves. I feel like this project is just validating "it's okay to be obese even if it's dangerous to my health, because I'm still beautiful." Unfortunately beauty is not the issue here. It's sending a bad message in my opinion.

What do you guys think?
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Replies

  • helenrosemay
    helenrosemay Posts: 375 Member
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    I think it's more about body image than saying it's ok to be unhealthy. As they say "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" and Beauty is different for everyone. Unfortunately society says fat is ugly, thin is beauty. Yes there are health issues and we all have the choice to be healthy or not, but, as you've done yourself, you're assuming she's unhealthy because she's overweight. She may eat healthily and exercise most days, but may eat as many calories as she burns.
  • MsWallwoman
    MsWallwoman Posts: 161
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    I think the message of accepting yourself and embracing your curves, having a positive body image, is a super awesome and lovely message. I agree with loving yourself. But I also agree that loving your self doesn't give you the ok to be obese and unhealthy.
  • TheSlorax
    TheSlorax Posts: 2,401 Member
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    I don't understand "fat acceptance" honestly. I don't get how it's acceptable to love yourself in spite of your body. It's still placing too much emphasis on appearance for me.

    Maybe if she posted her accomplishments and positive emotional and mental attributes everywhere I would be more supportive of her. Instead she's just putting more stock into the idea that a woman's self worth is based solely on her body, and if she doesn't love her body (even if it's fat) she doesn't love herself.
  • ballerina_tea
    ballerina_tea Posts: 41 Member
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    For me loving myself means taking care of my body. But I think there's a difference between health and image. A lot of plus size models are gorgeous, and I don't judge other people for how they look. However, I agree with you in that I wont pretend that it's healthy. If you really care about the well-being of women, I think health should be the top priority, not how you look.

    What really bugs me is my fellow feminists who think women should never want or strive to be thin. Hypocritical much? Don't tell me what to do with my body...
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,268 Member
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    I think if she posted it under success thread with NSV - I have learned to love myself there would be pages of way to go..good job etc...

    It is hard for people to have a positive mental attitude when you hate your body...

    And I do find it funny people are going to assume she isn't healthy...maybe she is...maybe she isn't...
  • jwdieter
    jwdieter Posts: 2,582 Member
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    If it works for her and makes her happy, great.

    I don't think she's making a difference in anyone's opinions of the desirability of obesity.
  • TheSlorax
    TheSlorax Posts: 2,401 Member
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    What really bugs me is my fellow feminists who think women should never want or strive to be thin. Hypocritical much? Don't tell me what to do with my body...

    this is because they are so busy not being concerned with appearance that they end up being concerned with appearance. it's completely illogical.
  • LumpySpacePrincess1
    LumpySpacePrincess1 Posts: 388 Member
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    What's going on is this: People are sick of being told what to look like, especially when they're supposedly meant to look like the polar opposite of themselves.
    So the new fad is not only telling people to love how they look, it's telling them they look better than everyone else. Specifically the large crowd. The whole "Dogs love bones" campaign.
    It's all tedious and repetitive bs.
    I'm better than everyone so they can just stop trying. :drinker:
  • lsmsrbls
    lsmsrbls Posts: 232 Member
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    It sounds like it was a very positive experience for her.
  • TheGymGypsy
    TheGymGypsy Posts: 1,023 Member
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    What really bugs me is my fellow feminists who think women should never want or strive to be thin. Hypocritical much? Don't tell me what to do with my body...

    this is because they are so busy not being concerned with appearance that they end up being concerned with appearance. it's completely illogical.

    Lol never thought of it like that!
  • NYCNika
    NYCNika Posts: 611 Member
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    There is a reason why we don't find obesity too attractive. We are biologically wired to be attracted to health. Clear skin signals health, good muscle tone suggests health, etc...

    So when someone is 300lb, they are carrying weight we did not biologically evolve to carry. Human joints are not designed to be carrying that kind of load non-stop. Heart was not meant to be pumping with extra strain for 24/7. Internal organs are not meant to squashed by the internal fat... We are called to ignore those things in the name of self love. That's bull in my opinion.
  • zeebruhgirl
    zeebruhgirl Posts: 493 Member
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    My biggest issue with this is that she was scantily clad in public. I don't care who the hell you are, how big or small you are, male or female, KEEP YOUR CLOTHES ON.
    Be CLASSY.
    Buh.

    ETA: No one should have to look at you naked (or nearly) if they don't want to.
  • penelepurr
    penelepurr Posts: 204 Member
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    I support people loving themselves and having confidence in their body but I draw the line at having a body that increases your likelihood of just about every cardiovascular disease there is, plus who knows how many other long-term health issues.

    Having fat is healthy, being fat is not.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    Well I think she is brave.

    Honestly, I really hate seeing people criticize someone for an action like this. I mean, honestly, when people allow themselves to become obese, it is usually (NOT ALWAYS) because on some level, they do not love themselves. And sometimes, before you can work on your body, you have to learn to love yourself. And part of learning to love yourself is accepting your body.

    So no, I do not think self love has gone too far. I think that as she learns to love her body, she will decide to take better care of it, and in time, she will craft herself a healthier body.
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,031 Member
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    bump
  • healthy4life4mykids
    healthy4life4mykids Posts: 84
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    She has some major guts to do that, especially on a bus! I am much smaller than her and you couldn't pay me to do that, says a lot about who is healthier mentally right? I say if she is happy with herself, its none of our business how she looks. Even if she is unhealthy, again doesn't effect anyone but her and maybe her friends and family. People need to not be so concerned with other's choices.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
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    no it hasn't. But then again, I have really short fingers.

    Honestly OP. Self love is the act of learning to love oneself, learning to accept ones flaws and celebrate ones beauties. Sometimes I think the public broadcasting of it has gone to far, our social media is flooded with self help and love yourself guru's promising us the perfect balance of acceptance and striving for better.

    I don't like the idea that an imperfect woman trying to learn to love her body becomes a topic point for "self love going too far" it implies that she doesn't have a right (because she is imperfect by social media standards" to do what she needs to do to find her inner acceptance (aka broadcast herself publicly)

    I do think self love has gone too far in the sense that we are all (as a social media machine) working too hard externally to focus on a change, a flick of the switch, that has to happen internally. At what point do we stop listening to the noise and start really listening to ourselves. THAT is where I think it goes too far.

    This loss of focus. The only way to have self love and acceptance is to have this inner dialogue with your inner self. About your perfection and your dedication to change what you don't like. Being a part of the social media machine I think sometimes serves as a distraction and procrastination from the real process that needs to happen.

    that's all.
  • SkinnyWannabeGal
    SkinnyWannabeGal Posts: 143 Member
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    She loves herself, good for her. Will that make me want to be 311 lbs too? Nope. Not sure if others will think that her self love has gone too far, but feeling beautiful at any weight is better than feeling the opposite at any weight. Now if you ask me if I think 311 lbs is ideal from a health standpoint, then I would have to say no. If she is saying that she is a beautiful person, more power to her. If she is saying that her WEIGHT is what makes her beautiful, then that might raise a lot of eyebrows. We are all beautiful in some way. I don't think I'd want to try and force my own beauty on the world and definitely not in that manner though. But to each his own!
  • silken555
    silken555 Posts: 477 Member
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    Well I think she is brave.

    Honestly, I really hate seeing people criticize someone for an action like this. I mean, honestly, when people allow themselves to become obese, it is usually (NOT ALWAYS) because on some level, they do not love themselves. And sometimes, before you can work on your body, you have to learn to love yourself. And part of learning to love yourself is accepting your body.

    So no, I do not think self love has gone too far. I think that as she learns to love her body, she will decide to take better care of it, and in time, she will craft herself a healthier body.

    I agree...also with the person who said if this were in Success everyone would be telling her way to go.

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