Has self love gone too far?
TheGymGypsy
Posts: 1,023 Member
So I read this article from Huffington Post which is basically about a 311 pound woman who took pictures of herself for 30 days scantily clad with "Be Beautiful" written all over her (in very public places). You can read/ see pics here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/denise-jolly/be-beautiful-how-30-days-nearly-naked-changed-life_b_3943938.html
I'm all for body love, no one should be forced to look like a fitness model if they don't want to. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication that is unrealistic for the vast majority of people. But I do believe everyone should take care of themselves. I feel like this project is just validating "it's okay to be obese even if it's dangerous to my health, because I'm still beautiful." Unfortunately beauty is not the issue here. It's sending a bad message in my opinion.
What do you guys think?
I'm all for body love, no one should be forced to look like a fitness model if they don't want to. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication that is unrealistic for the vast majority of people. But I do believe everyone should take care of themselves. I feel like this project is just validating "it's okay to be obese even if it's dangerous to my health, because I'm still beautiful." Unfortunately beauty is not the issue here. It's sending a bad message in my opinion.
What do you guys think?
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Replies
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I think it's more about body image than saying it's ok to be unhealthy. As they say "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" and Beauty is different for everyone. Unfortunately society says fat is ugly, thin is beauty. Yes there are health issues and we all have the choice to be healthy or not, but, as you've done yourself, you're assuming she's unhealthy because she's overweight. She may eat healthily and exercise most days, but may eat as many calories as she burns.0
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I think the message of accepting yourself and embracing your curves, having a positive body image, is a super awesome and lovely message. I agree with loving yourself. But I also agree that loving your self doesn't give you the ok to be obese and unhealthy.0
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I don't understand "fat acceptance" honestly. I don't get how it's acceptable to love yourself in spite of your body. It's still placing too much emphasis on appearance for me.
Maybe if she posted her accomplishments and positive emotional and mental attributes everywhere I would be more supportive of her. Instead she's just putting more stock into the idea that a woman's self worth is based solely on her body, and if she doesn't love her body (even if it's fat) she doesn't love herself.0 -
For me loving myself means taking care of my body. But I think there's a difference between health and image. A lot of plus size models are gorgeous, and I don't judge other people for how they look. However, I agree with you in that I wont pretend that it's healthy. If you really care about the well-being of women, I think health should be the top priority, not how you look.
What really bugs me is my fellow feminists who think women should never want or strive to be thin. Hypocritical much? Don't tell me what to do with my body...0 -
I think if she posted it under success thread with NSV - I have learned to love myself there would be pages of way to go..good job etc...
It is hard for people to have a positive mental attitude when you hate your body...
And I do find it funny people are going to assume she isn't healthy...maybe she is...maybe she isn't...0 -
If it works for her and makes her happy, great.
I don't think she's making a difference in anyone's opinions of the desirability of obesity.0 -
What really bugs me is my fellow feminists who think women should never want or strive to be thin. Hypocritical much? Don't tell me what to do with my body...
this is because they are so busy not being concerned with appearance that they end up being concerned with appearance. it's completely illogical.0 -
What's going on is this: People are sick of being told what to look like, especially when they're supposedly meant to look like the polar opposite of themselves.
So the new fad is not only telling people to love how they look, it's telling them they look better than everyone else. Specifically the large crowd. The whole "Dogs love bones" campaign.
It's all tedious and repetitive bs.
I'm better than everyone so they can just stop trying. :drinker:0 -
It sounds like it was a very positive experience for her.0
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What really bugs me is my fellow feminists who think women should never want or strive to be thin. Hypocritical much? Don't tell me what to do with my body...
this is because they are so busy not being concerned with appearance that they end up being concerned with appearance. it's completely illogical.
Lol never thought of it like that!0 -
There is a reason why we don't find obesity too attractive. We are biologically wired to be attracted to health. Clear skin signals health, good muscle tone suggests health, etc...
So when someone is 300lb, they are carrying weight we did not biologically evolve to carry. Human joints are not designed to be carrying that kind of load non-stop. Heart was not meant to be pumping with extra strain for 24/7. Internal organs are not meant to squashed by the internal fat... We are called to ignore those things in the name of self love. That's bull in my opinion.0 -
My biggest issue with this is that she was scantily clad in public. I don't care who the hell you are, how big or small you are, male or female, KEEP YOUR CLOTHES ON.
Be CLASSY.
Buh.
ETA: No one should have to look at you naked (or nearly) if they don't want to.0 -
I support people loving themselves and having confidence in their body but I draw the line at having a body that increases your likelihood of just about every cardiovascular disease there is, plus who knows how many other long-term health issues.
Having fat is healthy, being fat is not.0 -
Well I think she is brave.
Honestly, I really hate seeing people criticize someone for an action like this. I mean, honestly, when people allow themselves to become obese, it is usually (NOT ALWAYS) because on some level, they do not love themselves. And sometimes, before you can work on your body, you have to learn to love yourself. And part of learning to love yourself is accepting your body.
So no, I do not think self love has gone too far. I think that as she learns to love her body, she will decide to take better care of it, and in time, she will craft herself a healthier body.0 -
bump0
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She has some major guts to do that, especially on a bus! I am much smaller than her and you couldn't pay me to do that, says a lot about who is healthier mentally right? I say if she is happy with herself, its none of our business how she looks. Even if she is unhealthy, again doesn't effect anyone but her and maybe her friends and family. People need to not be so concerned with other's choices.0
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no it hasn't. But then again, I have really short fingers.
Honestly OP. Self love is the act of learning to love oneself, learning to accept ones flaws and celebrate ones beauties. Sometimes I think the public broadcasting of it has gone to far, our social media is flooded with self help and love yourself guru's promising us the perfect balance of acceptance and striving for better.
I don't like the idea that an imperfect woman trying to learn to love her body becomes a topic point for "self love going too far" it implies that she doesn't have a right (because she is imperfect by social media standards" to do what she needs to do to find her inner acceptance (aka broadcast herself publicly)
I do think self love has gone too far in the sense that we are all (as a social media machine) working too hard externally to focus on a change, a flick of the switch, that has to happen internally. At what point do we stop listening to the noise and start really listening to ourselves. THAT is where I think it goes too far.
This loss of focus. The only way to have self love and acceptance is to have this inner dialogue with your inner self. About your perfection and your dedication to change what you don't like. Being a part of the social media machine I think sometimes serves as a distraction and procrastination from the real process that needs to happen.
that's all.0 -
She loves herself, good for her. Will that make me want to be 311 lbs too? Nope. Not sure if others will think that her self love has gone too far, but feeling beautiful at any weight is better than feeling the opposite at any weight. Now if you ask me if I think 311 lbs is ideal from a health standpoint, then I would have to say no. If she is saying that she is a beautiful person, more power to her. If she is saying that her WEIGHT is what makes her beautiful, then that might raise a lot of eyebrows. We are all beautiful in some way. I don't think I'd want to try and force my own beauty on the world and definitely not in that manner though. But to each his own!0
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Well I think she is brave.
Honestly, I really hate seeing people criticize someone for an action like this. I mean, honestly, when people allow themselves to become obese, it is usually (NOT ALWAYS) because on some level, they do not love themselves. And sometimes, before you can work on your body, you have to learn to love yourself. And part of learning to love yourself is accepting your body.
So no, I do not think self love has gone too far. I think that as she learns to love her body, she will decide to take better care of it, and in time, she will craft herself a healthier body.
I agree...also with the person who said if this were in Success everyone would be telling her way to go.0 -
I'm not sure why it bothers you so much.
It is up to everyone individually to define what beauty means to them. I understand the health concern-- but if that's how she wants to live, that's on her. At least she has a positive self-image. I know plenty of small people with complexes.0 -
I don't understand "fat acceptance" honestly. I don't get how it's acceptable to love yourself in spite of your body. It's still placing too much emphasis on appearance for me.
Maybe if she posted her accomplishments and positive emotional and mental attributes everywhere I would be more supportive of her. Instead she's just putting more stock into the idea that a woman's self worth is based solely on her body, and if she doesn't love her body (even if it's fat) she doesn't love herself.
Bingo.0 -
I think it has. This is just my opinion - I have had a hard time with the whole "fat acceptance" movement and all that it involves for several reasons. First of all I do believe we need to love ourselves and take care of ourselves. That said, I don't think at my highest weight of 382 pounds I was loving myself. I truly believe that it isn't normal to get to that weight, or 311 lbs like the woman in the article. I think there are deeper issues involved when someone is morbidly obese and by promoting acceptance I think there is a certain level of also promoting avoidance.0
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Well I think she is brave.
Honestly, I really hate seeing people criticize someone for an action like this. I mean, honestly, when people allow themselves to become obese, it is usually (NOT ALWAYS) because on some level, they do not love themselves. And sometimes, before you can work on your body, you have to learn to love yourself. And part of learning to love yourself is accepting your body.
So no, I do not think self love has gone too far. I think that as she learns to love her body, she will decide to take better care of it, and in time, she will craft herself a healthier body.
Most of the time people become obese because they eat too much and are lazy.
Why does someone have to love their body to love themself? Isn't that still putting just as much emphasis on looks as before, which is what they're all trying to stop?
(disclaimer:I'm not being hostile or picking on you. I would have said it to anyone who posted this)0 -
This should be banned, obviously. Fat people should be kept at home, right? They can't be beautiful, right? They can't express, themselves, clearly without disgusting a bunch of busybodies in a website made for weightloss.
Oh, irony thy bite is glorious.0 -
i'm of the mindset that if you are genuinly comfortable with yourself, then you don't have to go to extraordinary lengths to prove it to the world.0
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This should be banned, obviously. Fat people should be kept at home, right? They can't be beautiful, right? They can't express, themselves, clearly without disgusting a bunch of busybodies in a website made for weightloss.
Oh, irony thy bite is glorious.
Well, to be fair, I don't think every member of this site is currently trying to lose weight.
I, for one, enjoy the logging tool, which can be used for more than merely losing weight.
And, I know you just didn't disparage "busybodies" on a PUBLIC forum (talk about irony!).
Unless, of course, YOU were being ironic! :laugh:
ETA: If so, well played, sir. Well played.0 -
i'm of the mindset that if you are genuinly comfortable with yourself, then you don't have to go to extraordinary lengths to prove it to the world.
Very true.
If I saw someone dressed (or rather undressed) like that in public, brave is not the word that would come to mind, crazy would be the word.0 -
There is a reason why we don't find obesity too attractive. We are biologically wired to be attracted to health. Clear skin signals health, good muscle tone suggests health, etc...
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Actually, No.
Historically there have been times when obesity was considered attractive as it was considered an indicator of health (ie. not starving to death like everyone else) and wealth. And *gasp!* there are still cultures today that hold obesity to be more attractive than thinness.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/comfort-cravings/201004/fat-is-beautiful
Of course I don't think for these we mean 300 lbs obese, but still obese on the BMI chart (because technically a woman who is 5/4 would be obese at 180 lbs) .
Biological deterministic arguments will be analyzed under strict scrutiny. I can't help it.0 -
i'm of the mindset that if you are genuinly comfortable with yourself, then you don't have to go to extraordinary lengths to prove it to the world.
Very true.
If I saw someone dressed (or rather undressed) like that in public, brave is not the word that would come to mind, crazy would be the word.
STOP THE BOAT!
Wait a minute!
I didn't even look at the article, but are you saying a woman who dresses to show off what she is proud of is crazy???0
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