Has self love gone too far?

lovinmyselfagain

'eh. I try not to concern myself with what other people do. I'm glad she thinks she's beautiful. No, it's not healthy to be obese. I don't see how the two facts are related.

^^^^^This. Her reasons for taking those pictures were not to proclaim she was physically healthy. It was so that she could learn to love herself in the body she's currently in...to love herself, despite the public and internal voices saying she should loathe herself. Hating yourself is NOT healthy, as well. This was about her emotional/mental health--reclaiming it. Can one not love their life( or just parts of it, etc.,)and still continue to improve it? We are all works in progress... Ya know, she may or may not decide to lose weight. And it's important regardless, that she can look herself in the mirror and still see a beautiful person and KNOW that she's worthy of love just like everyone else.

And yes, I know it's ironic that my name is "lovinmyselfagain"...I have had this user name for months and, unlike her, could not convince myself I was indeed still worthy of love and respect while obese. Heck, even now, a size 6, I'm still trying to convince myself that I'm beautiful and worthy of love...so kudos to her...how freeing it must be...

toutmonpossible

'eh. I try not to concern myself with what other people do. I'm glad she thinks she's beautiful. No, it's not healthy to be obese. I don't see how the two facts are related.

^^^^^This. Her reasons for taking those pictures were not to proclaim she was physically healthy. It was so that she could learn to love herself in the body she's currently in...to love herself, despite the public and internal voices saying she should loathe herself. Hating yourself is NOT healthy, as well. This was about her emotional/mental health--reclaiming it.

Where's the gain in trying to completely redefine reality to please yourself? Who said you have to be beautiful not to hate yourself? If anything, people ought to be saying "I'm NOT beautiful and I like myself," because that's the case with most people.

But most people aren't stimulated by ordinary goals. They want to be extraordinary, which is why there will always be a level of dissatisfaction for us all.

Hildy_J

If anything, people ought to be saying "I'm NOT beautiful and I like myself," because that's the case with most people.

You ARE beautiful. My grandma, when she died, was 90 years old had white hair, no teeth and a very wrinkly face. All my childhood I would look at her in adoration because she WAS beautiful. Anna Wintour wouldn't have put her on the cover of Vogue but she was.

I'm not talking about 'attractive' ie someone you want to get close to, nekkid... But there's a way... to catch the humanity in a person... in something they do or a way they move... so you can really see them - we're beautiful. The woman on the bus was beautiful because she was doing something crazy and hilarious. In heels.

UsedToBeHusky

I just hate the idea that if I don't love myself I'm terrible or broken. I don't see why self love is some sort of measure of happiness. Why isn't 'being satisfied' or 'okay' enough?

Because we all deserve happiness. Happiness is not some ultimate trophy where only the most fabulous are worthy of it.

lovinmyselfagain

'eh. I try not to concern myself with what other people do. I'm glad she thinks she's beautiful. No, it's not healthy to be obese. I don't see how the two facts are related.

^^^^^This. Her reasons for taking those pictures were not to proclaim she was physically healthy. It was so that she could learn to love herself in the body she's currently in...to love herself, despite the public and internal voices saying she should loathe herself. Hating yourself is NOT healthy, as well. This was about her emotional/mental health--reclaiming it.

Where's the gain in trying to completely redefine reality to please yourself? Who said you have to be beautiful not to hate yourself? If anything, people ought to be saying "I'm NOT beautiful and I like myself," because that's the case with most people.

But most people aren't stimulated by ordinary goals. They want to be extraordinary, which is why there will always be a level of dissatisfaction for us all.

I think the point is we aren't talking about conventional beauty, what society defines as beautiful...why should she limit herself to the constraints of other people's definition of beauty, even if it is how the majority of the world thinks? Why should anyone let someone else or society define them? So many of us are miserable because we are trying to live up to other people's ideals and expectations. So again, I say it's freeing for her and anyone else who can say "eff" society's narrow view of what is beautiful and strut their stuff, no matter their weight...

toutmonpossible

'eh. I try not to concern myself with what other people do. I'm glad she thinks she's beautiful. No, it's not healthy to be obese. I don't see how the two facts are related.

^^^^^This. Her reasons for taking those pictures were not to proclaim she was physically healthy. It was so that she could learn to love herself in the body she's currently in...to love herself, despite the public and internal voices saying she should loathe herself. Hating yourself is NOT healthy, as well. This was about her emotional/mental health--reclaiming it.

Where's the gain in trying to completely redefine reality to please yourself? Who said you have to be beautiful not to hate yourself? If anything, people ought to be saying "I'm NOT beautiful and I like myself," because that's the case with most people.

But most people aren't stimulated by ordinary goals. They want to be extraordinary, which is why there will always be a level of dissatisfaction for us all.

I think the point is we aren't talking about conventional beauty, what society defines as beautiful...why should she limit herself to the constraints of other people's definition of beauty, even if it is how the majority of the world thinks? Why should anyone let someone else or society define them? So many of us are miserable because we are trying to live up to other people's ideals and expectations. So again, I say it's freeing for her and anyone else who can say "eff" society's narrow view of what is beautiful and strut their stuff, no matter their weight...

She's presenting herself as if she wants to be judged by conventional beauty standards, which are physical. There are variations, but physical conventional standards usually start with tight, smooth skin and regular features, a general appearance of health, not morbid obesity. She's not touting her inner beauty. If she thinks it's freeing, fine, but many of us think she's deluded and we're allowed to think that as well.

toutmonpossible

If anything, people ought to be saying "I'm NOT beautiful and I like myself," because that's the case with most people.

You ARE beautiful. My grandma, when she died, was 90 years old had white hair, no teeth and a very wrinkly face. All my childhood I would look at her in adoration because she WAS beautiful. Anna Wintour wouldn't have put her on the cover of Vogue but she was.

I'm not talking about 'attractive' ie someone you want to get close to, nekkid... But there's a way... to catch the humanity in a person... in something they do or a way they move... so you can really see them - we're beautiful. The woman on the bus was beautiful because she was doing something crazy and hilarious. In heels.

I think we all are or can be beautiful in a larger sense. We do that with our thoughts and acts. I believe in enlarging the concept of physical beauty, for too long in the West it's been Eurocentric. But I think it's ridiculous to try to completely redefine the entire concept of physical beauty, which may have evolutionary roots.

She is demanding to be judged by physical beauty/attractiveness standards, otherwise she wouldn't be parading in her undies in heels.

I also think it's ridiculous when, based purely on physical standards, someone tries to argue that a 40 year old is as good looking as a good looking 20 year old. There's no comparison. Don't get me wrong, in prosperous societies older people are looking better and better and there's no reason they shouldn't keep up their appearance if it's important to them, but true physical beauty is rare and fleeting and belongs to youth.

toutmonpossible

It's really only recently that anyone has felt entitled to walk around naked and be worshiped. In the past, people had a very different relationship with their bodies.

LifeEternal

Honestly the way that society has gone, they make being fat seem like something that should be shameful.It isbecause of this that there are people who fight that notion and have articles like this.There would be no need for this article if people of all sizes felt generally represneted or at least accepted as a person and not an anomaly in film and news.

EvgeniZyntx

It's really only recently that anyone has felt entitled to walk around naked and be worshiped. In the past, people had a very different relationship with their bodies.

Judgement of Paris



Ruebens


Dean Brown




Art, especially about esthetics, is often taking those ideas and challenging them.

Sassyallday

ometimes, before you can work on your body, you have to learn to love yourself. And part of learning to love yourself is accepting your body.

So no, I do not think self love has gone too far. I think that as she learns to love her body, she will decide to take better care of it, and in time, she will craft herself a healthier body.

This!

I am working to better my body's health and appearance by losing weight. But, it is important for me to celebrate my body NOW. For me, that means sexy lingerie even when no one is looking, taking care if my skin and a seasonal visit to the MAC counter for updated makeup tips. I swim and sun. I wear clothes that fit and flatter. Feeling good makes me want to be even better.

Life is short. Enjoy your body today!

Sassyallday

And feeling good about yourself definitely affects how others perceive you. If you don't think you're sexy, why would anyone else! Most of us won't ever be fashion model thin. But we all want to be loved. Self love will get you the love of others.

Hildy_J

[ true physical beauty is rare and fleeting and belongs to youth.

Ain't it the truth. Who was it who said 'Youth is wasted on the wrong people.'? :bigsmile: