Has self love gone too far?
Replies
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If an anorexic girl did this people would be outraged, so why is the reverse ok?0
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If she was 200, that'd be cool. If you're a 300lb woman you are morbidly obese and need to lay off the god damned cheeseburgers, not parade around naked telling everyone you're beautiful. You're sick and need help mentally and physically if you let yourself get that far out of control.
Actually, she wasn't telling everyone that she was beautiful. She was telling herself to be beautiful.0 -
Have you ever heard the term "Rubenesque"?I disagree that obese has ever been considered sexually attractive. Slightly overweight? Pleasingly plump? Displaying that you have enough fat stores to carry a baby to full term despite spotty access to food? Yes. But never morbid obesity or anything even approaching it. MHO.Those women weren't 300 pounds, sure, but 200-250, definitely. And they were the ideal for a great while....Its 2013.
An ideal woman was plump enough to carry a baby through hard times and still fit enough to work in the fields if you were an average person. My grandfather said you pick a wife that's big and strong enough to carry 2 5 gallon pails of water without spilling any! The Reubenesque woman was the rich mans ideal of a pampered woman. In Africa it's still considered a sign of prosperity to have a fat wife, not sure it's considered beautiful, just a sign that you can feed her well and she doesn't need to work.0 -
But FUPA.
If she wants to be beautiful she should probably stop sabotaging her body with food.
Dead is only beautiful to necrophiles.0 -
I honestly don't care what this woman is doing. Like I read the OP, and the responses (its cute that someone brought up evolutionary psychology in an attempt to explain why 300 pounds isn't attractive because well it is, i mean humans have starved for much of their life and you'd damn well bet that if you can hunt enough caribou to get to 300lbs, you're getting your pick of the mates from the tribe)
But seriously! I'm going to worry about what I'm doing for my health, just like she needs to worry about her health alone! I don't think it should be an open commentary. Hell, If I loved my body enough to walk around in a bikini as it is, I don't think that I'd have even bothered to look up this site.0 -
But FUPA.
If she wants to be beautiful she should probably stop sabotaging her body with food.
Dead is only beautiful to necrophiles.
Well before she can want to stop hurting herself, she has to be able to love herself.
It's a vicious cycle, I realize, but why can't people understand that she has to start somewhere.0 -
But FUPA.
If she wants to be beautiful she should probably stop sabotaging her body with food.
Dead is only beautiful to necrophiles.
Well before she can want to stop hurting herself, she has to be able to love herself.
It's a vicious cycle, I realize, but why can't people understand that she has to start somewhere.
so you have to act like a total nutjob in order to love yourself?0 -
But FUPA.
If she wants to be beautiful she should probably stop sabotaging her body with food.
Dead is only beautiful to necrophiles.
Well before she can want to stop hurting herself, she has to be able to love herself.
It's a vicious cycle, I realize, but why can't people understand that she has to start somewhere.
so you have to act like a total nutjob in order to love yourself?
Well no, I suspect she was just a total nutjob in the first place. But this is what she had to do to begin to learn to love herself.0 -
I made a huge mistake. lol0
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If she was 200, that'd be cool. If you're a 300lb woman you are morbidly obese and need to lay off the god damned cheeseburgers, not parade around naked telling everyone you're beautiful. You're sick and need help mentally and physically if you let yourself get that far out of control.
.... really. ok then.0 -
I think so. The "big beautiful woman" craze has gone too far. As a former almost 400lb gal, it's really important to love oneself, but that's different than loving but expecting health for yourself too. If you truly love yourself, you'll take care of your body and being healthy is what it's all about!
That said, in order to become healthy, it's important to love yourself along the way. You can't go from 400lbs to 150lbs overnight, so you have to tell yourself that you're worthwhile enough to make the changes along the way. It's all about being healthy.0 -
I made a huge mistake. lol
No. You engaged a thought-provoking discussion. That is never a mistake.0 -
But FUPA.
If she wants to be beautiful she should probably stop sabotaging her body with food.
Dead is only beautiful to necrophiles.
Well before she can want to stop hurting herself, she has to be able to love herself.
It's a vicious cycle, I realize, but why can't people understand that she has to start somewhere.
I see where you're coming from on this now, and I agree with that. I am still uncomfortable with some of the "fat acceptance" lines it crosses, but that is because of my own prejudices and is not her doing.0 -
I don't think embarrassing herself in front of Hank Schrader and that one incognito black guy is going to help her love herself.But FUPA.
If she wants to be beautiful she should probably stop sabotaging her body with food.
Dead is only beautiful to necrophiles.
Well before she can want to stop hurting herself, she has to be able to love herself.
It's a vicious cycle, I realize, but why can't people understand that she has to start somewhere.
I don't think she even made any mention of an attempt to not be femme-Shamu.
If an anorexic did this I'd say the same.
If you look like you're fat enough to be the iceberg that brought down the Titanic, or skinny enough to be used as a rectangular frisbee, then they're in clear need of medical attention.
Not naked subway escapades and captions declaring themselvesto be white.0 -
But FUPA.
If she wants to be beautiful she should probably stop sabotaging her body with food.
Dead is only beautiful to necrophiles.
Well before she can want to stop hurting herself, she has to be able to love herself.
It's a vicious cycle, I realize, but why can't people understand that she has to start somewhere.
I see where you're coming from on this now, and I agree with that. I am still uncomfortable with some of the "fat acceptance" lines it crosses, but that is because of my own prejudices and is not her doing.
Believe me, I do not support the "fat acceptance" movement. But I didn't really get that was what she was doing here.
The words on her body were "Be Beautiful" not "I'm Beautiful" and she was taking selfies that she stated she was taking for herself to review and look at later. She posted them on the internet to see if anyone understood where she was coming from and to gain a little encouragement to continue. Some got it, some didn't. That's the risk you take with art.0 -
Honestly.....I was a little grossed out by the pictures. I think its important to LOVE AND ACCEPT oneself just as they are ANDDDDDD be willing to change for the better.
She is doing the former, which is good, but really she should love who she is not necessarily the fact that she is obese. that is just unhealthy and she should be trying to improve it. i'm not saying she needs to be a ripped size zero, but IMHO 300 pounds is really quite excessive.0 -
I don't think embarrassing herself in front of Hank Schrader and that one incognito black guy is going to help her love herself.But FUPA.
If she wants to be beautiful she should probably stop sabotaging her body with food.
Dead is only beautiful to necrophiles.
Well before she can want to stop hurting herself, she has to be able to love herself.
It's a vicious cycle, I realize, but why can't people understand that she has to start somewhere.
I don't think she even made any mention of an attempt to not be femme-Shamu.
If an anorexic did this I'd say the same.
If you look like you're fat enough to be the iceberg that brought down the Titanic, or skinny enough to be used as a rectangular frisbee, then they're in clear need of medical attention.
Not naked subway escapades and captions declaring themselvesto be white.
normally I really like you because you do make me LOL a lot, but really... "femme-shamu"? "the iceberg that brought down titanic"? "rectangular frisbee"? can we not use mean terms to describe women's bodies?Believe me, I do not support the "fat acceptance" movement. But I didn't really get that was what she was doing here.
The words on her body were "Be Beautiful" and she was taking selfies that she stated she was taking for herself to review and look at. She posted them on the internet to see if anyone understood where she was coming from and to gain a little encouragement to continue. Some got it, some didn't. That's the risk you take with art.
I'll admit I did not consider it art at first until you pointed that out. I don't really DO art so I completely missed that angle of it. I wish she had kept the original "I'm vulnerable" message, because then it would have been relevant whether she was thin or big (she's in her underwear on the subway for crying out loud). the "be beautiful" with the subtext of "in spite of being fat" really bugs me.0 -
I don't think embarrassing herself in front of Hank Schrader and that one incognito black guy is going to help her love herself.But FUPA.
If she wants to be beautiful she should probably stop sabotaging her body with food.
Dead is only beautiful to necrophiles.
Well before she can want to stop hurting herself, she has to be able to love herself.
It's a vicious cycle, I realize, but why can't people understand that she has to start somewhere.
I don't think she even made any mention of an attempt to not be femme-Shamu.
If an anorexic did this I'd say the same.
If you look like you're fat enough to be the iceberg that brought down the Titanic, or skinny enough to be used as a rectangular frisbee, then they're in clear need of medical attention.
Not naked subway escapades and captions declaring themselvesto be white.
You know, I know you are trying to shroud your, otherwise intellectual response, in humor, but its just coming off as obnoxious.
Anyway, getting to the meat and potatoes of your argument, people who think that she did this to declare her body as beautiful would probably act the same way if an anorexic woman had done this. People who understand her true intent, which was to force herself to love herself in spite of her appearance, would have probably also defended the anorexic woman in turn. Anorexics also despise themselves, and have to learn to love themselves before they can get healthy again.0 -
If an anorexic girl did this people would be outraged, so why is the reverse ok?
TRUTH0 -
I don't think embarrassing herself in front of Hank Schrader and that one incognito black guy is going to help her love herself.But FUPA.
If she wants to be beautiful she should probably stop sabotaging her body with food.
Dead is only beautiful to necrophiles.
Well before she can want to stop hurting herself, she has to be able to love herself.
It's a vicious cycle, I realize, but why can't people understand that she has to start somewhere.
I don't think she even made any mention of an attempt to not be femme-Shamu.
If an anorexic did this I'd say the same.
If you look like you're fat enough to be the iceberg that brought down the Titanic, or skinny enough to be used as a rectangular frisbee, then they're in clear need of medical attention.
Not naked subway escapades and captions declaring themselvesto be white.
normally I really like you because you do make me LOL a lot, but really... "femme-shamu"? "the iceberg that brought down titanic"? "rectangular frisbee"? can we not use mean terms to describe women's bodies?Believe me, I do not support the "fat acceptance" movement. But I didn't really get that was what she was doing here.
The words on her body were "Be Beautiful" and she was taking selfies that she stated she was taking for herself to review and look at. She posted them on the internet to see if anyone understood where she was coming from and to gain a little encouragement to continue. Some got it, some didn't. That's the risk you take with art.
I'll admit I did not consider it art at first until you pointed that out. I don't really DO art so I completely missed that angle of it. I wish she had kept the original "I'm vulnerable" message, because then it would have been relevant whether she was thin or big (she's in her underwear on the subway for crying out loud). the "be beautiful" with the subtext of "in spite of being fat" really bugs me.
Well not everyone is going to like an individual's form of self-expression, but yeah, way back at the beginning of the article/blog/whatever it is, she states that she is an artist.0 -
Did anyone watch the video clip from the page OP listed? The woman herself doesn't seem convinced that she is beautiful. She sounds pretty insecure and unsatisfied with the personal outcome of her project. Turns out she wasn't as liberated as she may have looked in some photographs.
Maybe the project helped her love herself, all 311 pounds, and realize that some of those pounds need to go to physically/mentally feel better about herself!0 -
Did anyone watch the video clip from the page OP listed? The woman herself doesn't seem convinced that she is beautiful. She sounds pretty insecure and unsatisfied with the personal outcome of her project. Turns out she wasn't as liberated as she may have looked in some photographs.
Maybe the project helped her love herself, all 311 pounds, and realize that some of those pounds need to go to physically/mentally feel better about herself!
If you don't love yourself to begin with, taking pictures of yourself mostly naked in public probably isn't going to just make it magically go away. Her weight is obviously the source of her insecurity. But instead of doing something about it, she is trying to validate it.0 -
Have you ever heard the term "Rubenesque"?I disagree that obese has ever been considered sexually attractive. Slightly overweight? Pleasingly plump? Displaying that you have enough fat stores to carry a baby to full term despite spotty access to food? Yes. But never morbid obesity or anything even approaching it. MHO.Those women weren't 300 pounds, sure, but 200-250, definitely. And they were the ideal for a great while....Its 2013.
An ideal woman was plump enough to carry a baby through hard times and still fit enough to work in the fields if you were an average person. My grandfather said you pick a wife that's big and strong enough to carry 2 5 gallon pails of water without spilling any! The Reubenesque woman was the rich mans ideal of a pampered woman. In Africa it's still considered a sign of prosperity to have a fat wife, not sure it's considered beautiful, just a sign that you can feed her well and she doesn't need to work.
Actually the women Sir Peter Paul Rubens were much smaller, no where near 200 pounds.0 -
I read the article yesterday. I was shocked by her bravery. At my thinnest (a size 10) I wouldnt have had the balls & self confidence this woman has. She is not promoting obesity she is promoting self love. That doesnt mean she is happy to be obese it means that she is happy to be the person that she is living in the skin that she is in. I hope one day before I die I can feel that comfortable being me and not trying to hide whenever someone takes out a camera cause God forbid you can see my muffin top or double chin in the picture.0
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Did anyone watch the video clip from the page OP listed? The woman herself doesn't seem convinced that she is beautiful. She sounds pretty insecure and unsatisfied with the personal outcome of her project. Turns out she wasn't as liberated as she may have looked in some photographs.
Maybe the project helped her love herself, all 311 pounds, and realize that some of those pounds need to go to physically/mentally feel better about herself!
If you don't love yourself to begin with, taking pictures of yourself mostly naked in public probably isn't going to just make it magically go away. Her weight is obviously the source of her insecurity. But instead of doing something about it, she is trying to validate it.
Yes, and she failed. Self-awareness is usally the beginning to the path of "self-love". For all you know, by this time next year, she will have dropped 60 lbs.
I always thought I was comfortable with myself and my body. Until I realized that I wasn't. I didn't need to parade around naked in public to get there... but maybe this woman did. We all have our aha-moments and stories, and I'm willing to bet no one's is the same as anyone else's on this site.0 -
I think this is such an interesting discussion. I feel like we're talking about more than one thing..
1 - Loving yourself despite (or maybe because of) all of your glorious imperfections.
This is saying, 'hey, I might have a problem with my [insert issue here], but I'm a pretty freaking great person. Yay me!'
2 - Physical attraction
I don't find morbid obesity attractive in either sex. I'm sorry, I just don't. It doesn't mean that I judge, don't accept, or wouldn't be friends with people who are morbidly obese. Hardly. (similarly, I don't find mustaches attractive either, but if you want to have one, go for it!). It just means if I was single and ready to mingle, I would likely be drawn to men who are more physically fit (without a mustache!) than those were aren't. It's a personal preference. There are plenty of people (men and women) that are physically attracted to those who are heavier set. More power to them. I couldn't care less.
Luckily for me, my husband doesn't expect me to be a size 2. We would have been divorced a looooong time ago!
3 - What is healthy?
I agree that someone who is over 300 pounds might have physical aspects within a 'healthy range' (e.g. Blood pressure, cholesterol, etc.), and that weight itself isn't an indicator that these things are in an unhealthy range.
BUT, it is proven science that obesity is a risk factor for a number of health problems. Yeah, just because I'm fat doesn't mean I'll GET [breast cancer, diabetes, heart disease, alzheimer's...pick your disease], but it certainly increases the likelihood that I will. And honestly, from my own experience, I feel better when I get regular exercise and eat better food. Surely the way I feel is an indicator of my overall health.
At the end of the day, I hate the term 'fat acceptance'. I believe in people acceptance. Fat or thin, gay or straight, black, white, or any beautiful shade in between, we need to learn to love our fellow humans for exactly who they are. We may not agree with decisions people make or how they live their lives, but, at the end of the day, it's really no one's business but our own.0 -
And this is how we define bravery now?
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Well I think she is brave.
Honestly, I really hate seeing people criticize someone for an action like this. I mean, honestly, when people allow themselves to become obese, it is usually (NOT ALWAYS) because on some level, they do not love themselves. And sometimes, before you can work on your body, you have to learn to love yourself. And part of learning to love yourself is accepting your body.
So no, I do not think self love has gone too far. I think that as she learns to love her body, she will decide to take better care of it, and in time, she will craft herself a healthier body.
QFT!!0 -
Look at her shoes though. Fancy.And this is how we define bravery now?
(They won't let me be me in here and make a joke about The Wizard of Oz).0 -
And this is how we define bravery now?
She was brave enough to act out this form of self-expression knowing that she would likely be publicly ridiculed, but she did it to force herself to see herself as she truly is, and it was what she needed to do for herself. If she can recognize that she had to put aside some of her internalized fears to see herself as she really is, then she is one step closer to loving herself, and treating her body as it needs to be treated.0
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