Has self love gone too far?

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  • leannems
    leannems Posts: 516 Member
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    I think it has. This is just my opinion - I have had a hard time with the whole "fat acceptance" movement and all that it involves for several reasons. First of all I do believe we need to love ourselves and take care of ourselves. That said, I don't think at my highest weight of 382 pounds I was loving myself. I truly believe that it isn't normal to get to that weight, or 311 lbs like the woman in the article. I think there are deeper issues involved when someone is morbidly obese and by promoting acceptance I think there is a certain level of also promoting avoidance.

    Here's a different opinion: At my highest weight, I hate myself. I think I'm disgusting and ugly and unworthy. Because that's what I've been told. While I try to do things for my health, I end up taking minor slip ups as giant failures because, I don't deserve health. Why is that? Because I'm disgusting and ugly and unworthy - remember? That's what I've been told. And so minor slip ups turn into failures turn into more eating and more unworthiness.

    But the girl - the girl in the article - gives me hope that maybe, just maybe, I'm not disgusting and ugly and unworthy. Maybe I am beautiful at this weight, and worth investing in my health. So a minor slip up doesn't mean that I need to give up - it's just a blip on the radar on my way to being healthier, which, sure, will likely mean I weigh less. This is exactly the way thin, healthy people think (they eat pizza one day and don't worry about it because they know they are healthy, and beautiful the rest of the time, and a minor slip up doesn't mean they are a big, fat, disgusting failure).

    Finding beauty in myself now doesn't mean that I will be avoiding the fact that I'm obese and unhealthy. It may, however, allow me to determine that I am worth something, and that I deserve good, healthy habits, which would eventually lead to being more healthy and no longer obese.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
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    'eh. I try not to concern myself with what other people do. I'm glad she thinks she's beautiful. No, it's not healthy to be obese. I don't see how the two facts are related.
  • divalbeckham
    divalbeckham Posts: 10 Member
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    I do love myself and have high self esteem but in reality I am morbidly obese and its unhealthy. This is why I am doing something about it...Its no excuse!!
  • tonynguyen75
    tonynguyen75 Posts: 418 Member
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    If a woman who was 80 lbs at 5'6" tried to do something like this, she would get chewed out to no end.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    Well I think she is brave.

    Honestly, I really hate seeing people criticize someone for an action like this. I mean, honestly, when people allow themselves to become obese, it is usually (NOT ALWAYS) because on some level, they do not love themselves. And sometimes, before you can work on your body, you have to learn to love yourself. And part of learning to love yourself is accepting your body.

    So no, I do not think self love has gone too far. I think that as she learns to love her body, she will decide to take better care of it, and in time, she will craft herself a healthier body.

    Most of the time people become obese because they eat too much and are lazy.

    Why does someone have to love their body to love themself? Isn't that still putting just as much emphasis on looks as before, which is what they're all trying to stop?

    (disclaimer:I'm not being hostile or picking on you. I would have said it to anyone who posted this)

    No hostility taken.:flowerforyou:

    It is commonly known that eating too much and being lazy are behaviors that lead to obesity and health issues. Why would you do that harm to yourself if you loved yourself?

    I also said this wasn't true for everyone.
  • Skrib69
    Skrib69 Posts: 687 Member
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    Like it or loath it, it is clear what this woman is doing. She is learning to accept herself for what she is through Neuro Linguistic Programming - NLP. It's a common Life Coaching technique, but more usually involves you and a mirror every day telling yourself that you are worthwhile, that you are beautiful or whatever self image issue you may be dealing with. It took amazing courage for her to do this in such a public way (most people find it hard enough to look themselves in the eye in the mirror) , and she should be commended for completing the whole month. Personally, I would love to meet her and talk to her - I bet she could be really good fun to be with.

    In answer to the OP's original question, no - self love has not gone too far. We all have to be happy in our own skin and for most people on MFP, to criticise this is to be hypocritical.

    (Edited for typo's)
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,472 Member
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    I love myself
  • brraanndi
    brraanndi Posts: 325 Member
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    No it hasn't.

    It should go further.

    People put too much importance on their physical looks. A 300 lb woman shouldn't be anymore shameful than the plethora of underweight, scantily clad chicks I see in any fashion magazine.
  • NavyKnightAh13
    NavyKnightAh13 Posts: 1,394 Member
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    All I can say is that I would never do this, simply because I wouldn't have the courage to. Now more power to her for doing it, and while it may not be healthy as far as her weight, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

    :ohwell:
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
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    What do you guys think?

    I think there is no way I'm clicking on that link.
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
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    It is up to everyone individually to define what beauty means to them.

    This is true - and it applies equally for everybody - which means someone can yell "I am beautiful!" all day long from the tippiest top of a mountain top, but nobody else is under any obligation to agree and/or accept that person's definition.
  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
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    Well I think she is brave.

    Honestly, I really hate seeing people criticize someone for an action like this. I mean, honestly, when people allow themselves to become obese, it is usually (NOT ALWAYS) because on some level, they do not love themselves. And sometimes, before you can work on your body, you have to learn to love yourself. And part of learning to love yourself is accepting your body.

    So no, I do not think self love has gone too far. I think that as she learns to love her body, she will decide to take better care of it, and in time, she will craft herself a healthier body.

    ^^Brilliant. A positive attitude beats a negative one, hands down!
  • NonnyMary
    NonnyMary Posts: 982 Member
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    I couldn't take a pic in my undies on the train. too many strangers there...

    i guess she is one of the fat acceptance people. I was wondering if she was trying to lose weight, or if she was accepting herself as she is overweight. Do you know if she is losing weight, or not?
  • NYCNika
    NYCNika Posts: 611 Member
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    No it hasn't.

    It should go further.

    People put too much importance on their physical looks. A 300 lb woman shouldn't be anymore shameful than the plethora of underweight, scantily clad chicks I see in any fashion magazine.

    Btw, I'm fit and proud of my body. Would even appear scantly clad in professional fashion magazine if ever asked (doubt it).
    But I would not just wake up and go on a bus in my underwear just because I feel I'm beautiful.

    If her message is "every body is beautiful, no matter what it looks like", does that imply that everyone should commute in their underwear? Try picturing this for a minute.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    Honestly, I didn't even consider losing an ounce of weight until I decided that I deserved a better, healthier body. If she needs this to help her get to a place where she recognizes that she deserves to treat herself better than she has up until now, then more power to her.
  • Nicolee_2014
    Nicolee_2014 Posts: 1,572 Member
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    I think good on her for being confident enough to do it but not everyone has to see that!!!

    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder for sure.
  • Nikoruo
    Nikoruo Posts: 771 Member
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    Well i adore what she's symbolizing. Though a side note should be *it's okay to be chubby, just be healthy!* you know... something like that.

    I adore that she had the bravery to do this :)
  • victoriavoodoo
    victoriavoodoo Posts: 343 Member
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    I think the fat acceptance movement is positive and progressive in theory, and that society and tons of young girls would benefit from some more realistic ideals of beauty(some models with more realistic bmi's etc).

    BUT I think the movement isn't working like it should because a lot of its followers are using it to remain in denial about their health.
    If a woman on the heavier side of healthy took photos like this, I think it would be a better message because extremes of thin and of fat are unhealthy. That's why many of us are here right?
  • mooie70
    mooie70 Posts: 70 Member
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    I'm sure it's just the fact that she's semi naked that bothers people so much. Call me old fashioned, but s'far as I'm concerned, stripping down to your knickers and bra should only be done at the beach, in a swim suit. And that goes for big people and skinny people alike. I actually agree with the OP in as much as people are SO determined to show off their bodies, for whatever reason, that they have to flaunt them all over the place (like DP's on here). Big, skinny, short, tall...it's just MY OPINION that it is NOT ok to dress like that anywhere but in the privacy of your own home, or at the beach. The sexiest women can be fully clothed. They don't need to be popping out everywhere for everyone to see.
  • bridgie101
    bridgie101 Posts: 817 Member
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    So I read this article from Huffington Post which is basically about a 311 pound woman who took pictures of herself for 30 days scantily clad with "Be Beautiful" written all over her (in very public places). You can read/ see pics here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/denise-jolly/be-beautiful-how-30-days-nearly-naked-changed-life_b_3943938.html

    I'm all for body love, no one should be forced to look like a fitness model if they don't want to. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication that is unrealistic for the vast majority of people. But I do believe everyone should take care of themselves. I feel like this project is just validating "it's okay to be obese even if it's dangerous to my health, because I'm still beautiful." Unfortunately beauty is not the issue here. It's sending a bad message in my opinion.

    What do you guys think?

    She's part of the God Squad. I think there's always someone out there for you, who will love you as you are - but I am not convinced that all that self-hypnosis is any good.

    All that visualisation and looking in the mirror and saying 'you're beautiful' and stuff - I think it's gob****e. i think time is better spent staring in the mirror putting your makeup on. Making yourself more beautiful.

    It's great that she had the courage to get real and face her body. I admire that and I respect it. but I feel she's been led astray by someone or some idea and at some point in her future she's going to wake up to just what she did, and she will be very embarrassed. :)

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