Has self love gone too far?

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Replies

  • shell_mc
    shell_mc Posts: 109 Member
    Sorry that post was so long winded. It didn't seem to be when I was thinking about it and typing it out!

    Not new to MFP, but new to the message boards. Looking forward to the discussions!
  • I_Will_End_You
    I_Will_End_You Posts: 4,397 Member
    Look at her shoes though. Fancy.
    (They won't let me be me in here and make a joke about The Wizard of Oz).

    They are nice shoes.
  • Isakizza
    Isakizza Posts: 754 Member
    Sometimes I do think it has gone a bit too far, or really just misunderstood.
    But I do totally agree that we shouldn't hate ourselves, ever.

    To respect and love yourself does not mean to accept an unhealthy body or unhealthy lifestyle. We should still try to be the best "Me" we can, for our own good. At least that's how I see it.

    21525558.png
  • LumpySpacePrincess1
    LumpySpacePrincess1 Posts: 388 Member
    Are Americans like Brits in the way that even if a panda began salsa dancing they'd pretend not to notice?
    Look at all those dudes, like it's just another Friday night.
  • gangsterfurious
    gangsterfurious Posts: 56
    When I look at her I don't see beauty and I do not see somebody that really loves herself. It's one thing to accept where you are at but another thing to actually love yourself and treat yourself accordingly. When you love yourself and your body, you don't treat it like a garbage disposal. When I look at her and all of her extra weight I see the damage she is doing to her joints, her spine, and her nerves. When I see her cellulite I see years of her abusing her body with the wrong foods and the toxic buildup she has created that is now hanging out on her thighs. When I look at her stomach I see her heart and her organs struggling.
  • Ladydrake12
    Ladydrake12 Posts: 45 Member
    If she is happy, I guess that is all that matters but I do tend to think going out into public and making "statements" like this is a cry for attention and a way of screaming to the world that she loves herself despite her flaws even if that is not really the case. Sort of a "maybe if I scream the exact opposite of my true feelings, it will suddenly be true" situation.

    Some people see their flaws and work to get rid of them, some people see their flaws and try to accept them, others want to get rid of them but don't have the mental fortitude to do so.
  • Bobbie8786
    Bobbie8786 Posts: 202 Member
    Exhibitionism comes in all shapes and sizes. In my opinion writing all over yourself and going out in public in your underwear has nothing to do with "loving yourself," it has to do with a burning desire to be noticed at any cost. Besides, she is focusing on outward "beauty" herself and so is still pushing the idea that outward appearance is vitally important to our self-worth. In my ever so humble opinion we would all be better off to stop being so freakishly obsessed with looks and place higher value on being decent human beings.
  • torie079
    torie079 Posts: 179 Member
    Why would any of you encourage her to not be comfortable in her skin as she is? I find it disgusting that other people want to dictate how she should feel about herself... Chances are her doc has talked to her about the health risks but there is absolutely nothing wrong with her striving to be comfortable with her image as she is in her skin NOW. No one should be made to hate themselves just because some lunks want to make themselves feel better...ugh
  • Ladydrake12
    Ladydrake12 Posts: 45 Member
    Are Americans like Brits in the way that even if a panda began salsa dancing they'd pretend not to notice?
    Look at all those dudes, like it's just another Friday night.

    Pretty much unless they are Redditors. Then they will take pictures and post them on the Internet later about "what they saw on the way home" to get Karma.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    If she is happy, I guess that is all that matters but I do tend to think going out into public and making "statements" like this is a cry for attention and a way of screaming to the world that she loves herself despite her flaws even if that is not really the case. Sort of a "maybe if I scream the exact opposite of my true feelings, it will suddenly be true" situation.

    If she is not convincing you, do you think she actually convinced herself?
    Some people see their flaws and work to get rid of them, some people see their flaws and try to accept them, others want to get rid of them but don't have the mental fortitude to do so.

    People change and mature with time. She could fit in anyone of those categories at any time. And an action like this is sure to inspire her to change her views, which was her intention in the first place.
  • Melissa22G
    Melissa22G Posts: 847 Member
    And this is how we define bravery now?

    2013-09-17-tumblr_inline_mt8dyxLwqO1qkifb8.jpg


    The dude hanging his head is making me laugh.

    Brave woman, brave, brave.
  • gangsterfurious
    gangsterfurious Posts: 56
    And this is how we define bravery now?

    2013-09-17-tumblr_inline_mt8dyxLwqO1qkifb8.jpg


    The dude hanging his head is making me laugh.

    Brave woman, brave, brave.

    Exactly, show me soldiers that have lost their limbs and still love themselves. Show me the people risking their lives to provide aid in war torn countries.

    I can see women like her at any swimming pool these days.
  • Becoming_A_Butterfly
    Becoming_A_Butterfly Posts: 2,534 Member
    Exhibitionism comes in all shapes and sizes. In my opinion writing all over yourself and going out in public in your underwear has nothing to do with "loving yourself," it has to do with a burning desire to be noticed at any cost. Besides, she is focusing on outward "beauty" herself and so is still pushing the idea that outward appearance is vitally important to our self-worth. In my ever so humble opinion we would all be better off to stop being so freakishly obsessed with looks and place higher value on being decent human beings.

    This is exactly how I feel about it. Obsessing over appearance is still obsessing over appearance, no matter what form that takes.
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
    And if I stand in the middle of a train what will I get? bravery?

    *I'll have to write "beautiful' all over but still. Will I be brave?
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    Why would any of you encourage her to not be comfortable in her skin as she is? I find it disgusting that other people want to dictate how she should feel about herself... Chances are her doc has talked to her about the health risks but there is absolutely nothing wrong with her striving to be comfortable with her image as she is in her skin NOW. No one should be made to hate themselves just because some lunks want to make themselves feel better...ugh

    Did you even read through the thread?
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    Exhibitionism comes in all shapes and sizes. In my opinion writing all over yourself and going out in public in your underwear has nothing to do with "loving yourself," it has to do with a burning desire to be noticed at any cost. Besides, she is focusing on outward "beauty" herself and so is still pushing the idea that outward appearance is vitally important to our self-worth. In my ever so humble opinion we would all be better off to stop being so freakishly obsessed with looks and place higher value on being decent human beings.

    Agreed.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    And this is how we define bravery now?

    2013-09-17-tumblr_inline_mt8dyxLwqO1qkifb8.jpg

    She was brave enough to act out this form of self-expression knowing that she would likely be publicly ridiculed, but she did it to force herself to see herself as she truly is, and it was what she needed to do for herself. If she can recognize that she had to put aside some of her internalized fears to see herself as she really is, then she is one step closer to loving herself, and treating her body as it needs to be treated.

    This. ... was written a lot nicer and more eloquently than I would have put it.

    Women are constantly objectified, we're expected to have big tits, smooth soft hair, long lean legs, a skinny waist and constantly look like models. You hear your boyfriends mention how hot someone or other is. Sure, they're hot. But it takes work to get there. We are more than what our bodies show. That's the idea.
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    I don't know. if you put a sticky note on a woman's bottom saying, nice booty its assault. If you go on the subway and write all over yourself its expression. Crazy world.
  • leannems
    leannems Posts: 516 Member
    If an anorexic girl did this people would be outraged, so why is the reverse ok?

    I don't know if these two things match. If this lady talked about that she ate on purpose to look this way, and sabotaged her health to look this way, or it were her goal to look this way, and then took scantily clad pics, then I think people would be outraged by her photos (there's threads somewhere on here about the folks that go on talk shows purposefully trying to gain wait - there's a lot of outrage about them). So that's more akin to someone who is anorexic (sabotages their health to be thin).

    If a naturally thin, healthy girl did this, I don't think there would be outrage, but there would be slut-shaming (which I don't find to be appropriate regardless of weight). I will also admit that if a healthy, bony person did this, there would likely be outrage because people would assume that she was anorexic, but that's probably not ok either.

    I guess what I'm saying is that, I get what you're saying, but the two things don't exactly match.
  • Sovictorrious
    Sovictorrious Posts: 770 Member
    Here we go again
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member

    If a naturally thin, healthy girl did this, I don't think there would be outrage, but there would be slut-shaming (which I don't find to be appropriate regardless of weight). I will also admit that if a healthy, bony person did this, there would likely be outrage because people would assume that she was anorexic, but that's probably not ok either.

    I guess what I'm saying is that, I get what you're saying, but the two things don't exactly match.

    Exactly.
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
    We idolize anorexics on stages, and yet one obese woman takes some pictures of herself partially nude and we're giving her crap about it?

    During my fitness journey, I've figured out I don't care what other people want to do with their bodies, because it's not my body. More power to them for doing whatever makes them feel brave/pretty/sexy/confident/even just comfortable.
  • NonnyMary
    NonnyMary Posts: 982 Member
    And this is how we define bravery now?

    2013-09-17-tumblr_inline_mt8dyxLwqO1qkifb8.jpg

    She was brave enough to act out this form of self-expression knowing that she would likely be publicly ridiculed, but she did it to force herself to see herself as she truly is, and it was what she needed to do for herself. If she can recognize that she had to put aside some of her internalized fears to see herself as she really is, then she is one step closer to loving herself, and treating her body as it needs to be treated.

    I dont think its very good to wear underwear as outerwear and then sit on the seats and then the next person has to sit down after you. eww.
  • Hildy_J
    Hildy_J Posts: 1,050 Member
    She really needs to sit down. When that bus takes a corner she's going to go base over apex.
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
    And once again if i wore a bikini on a train and wrote beautiful all over my body what would i get? Now I have the Buzzcocks song in my head, ackk!
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    And if I stand in the middle of a train what will I get? bravery?

    *I'll have to write "beautiful' all over but still. Will I be brave?

    Um... Yes.

    Because you know you will be called slutty, skanky, and gross.

    *edited to add - and crazy has come up a few times in this thread.
  • chad_phillips1123
    chad_phillips1123 Posts: 229 Member
    After having read the article and keeping in mind that I'm more obese that she is, I think this was mostly an artsy cry for attention. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. She didn't see herself as beautiful and instead of changing anything about herself to become more healthy, she changed her perception of beauty as well as trying to alter others' views. Now I'm not saying there's any reason she shouldn't have felt beautiful or comfortable about herself (other than all the health issues associated with being overweight), but standing semi-nude in public places to feel better about yourself is a bit odd/exhibitionist. Maybe it's because I'm a guy and don't quite have the same societal pressure to look pretty as women seem to.

    That said I admire her courage to have actually done it all, especially with the inevitable criticism that follows, and can't wait to see what everyone has to say when an anorexic does this.
  • Hildy_J
    Hildy_J Posts: 1,050 Member
    After having read the article and keeping in mind that I'm more obese that she is, I think this was mostly an artsy cry for attention.

    Totally agree - it was a piece of performance art! Evoked strong emotional reactions, got people talking - all of us bringing our own stuff to it when forming an opinion....
  • jcmrax5
    jcmrax5 Posts: 133
    im all for being happy in your skin. but when you use that as an excuse not to be as healthy as you can- i dont think that is beautiful at all. its lazy. its disgusting. its ugly.

    maybe im just a *****!
  • jadedhippo
    jadedhippo Posts: 95 Member
    I don't understand "fat acceptance" honestly. I don't get how it's acceptable to love yourself in spite of your body. It's still placing too much emphasis on appearance for me.

    Maybe if she posted her accomplishments and positive emotional and mental attributes everywhere I would be more supportive of her. Instead she's just putting more stock into the idea that a woman's self worth is based solely on her body, and if she doesn't love her body (even if it's fat) she doesn't love herself.

    This

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