Question for the ladies

Madame_Goldbricker

When I was 17 I was friends with a lad I liked (was a mate) through school. I never said anything to him about it, but when I bumped into him in town after we'd left school. I said "Oh, we really should catch up properly some time". He landed on my doorstep that night, & we dated for 3 years after. He said he'd been worried about approaching me & I'd been the same. If you take a little risk to put yourself out there it can pay off. :happy:

TheSlorax

OP, how old are you?

Freshman in college-- never dated before though. I've been asked, but I've refused. They were all strange.

I thought this may be why you are so nervous about this (not sure if you specified that earlier in the thread, I haven't read the past couple pages). relax, it's really not as scary as it may seem. that was a great opening line you had above and then from there you can feel it out and gauge his reaction. good luck and again... relax a little!

Thank you!! I'll try. I just hope he doesn't totally blow me off... or get all quiet when I tell him...

you got this girl. there are plenty of fish in the sea if this doesn't work out, and you'll be that much better at going for what you want the next time around!

j3nnal3igh13

Flirt. Be funny. Touch... causally. Compliment. If he doesn't notice your "extra" attention, he's not worth your time.

Edited to say... I haven't read the previous posts. Not sure of your situation.

NO. NO SUBTLE HINTS. after 9 pages of advice, OP is going to work on being direct because homeboy hasn't picked up on any of her other subtle hints. thanks for playing though.

As I said.... I did NOT read previous posts. My bad. And I stand by what I said. If they don't catch on to subtle hints... not worth your time or you'll end up throwing yourself at him. Flat out say I LIKE YOU. Ask HIM OUT yourself. What's the worse than can happen??? I married the man who I flat out told I was interested in him.

Geez.

Carissa145

When I was 17 I was friends with a lad I liked (was a mate) through school. I never said anything to him about it, but when I bumped into him in town after we'd left school. I said "Oh, we really should catch up properly some time". He landed on my doorstep that night, & we dated for 3 years after. He said he'd been worried about approaching me & I'd been the same. If you take a little risk to put yourself out there it can pay off. :happy:

you got this girl. there are plenty of fish in the sea if this doesn't work out, and you'll be that much better at going for what you want the next time around!

Thank you all so much for the encouragement!!!

Carissa145

Flirt. Be funny. Touch... causally. Compliment. If he doesn't notice your "extra" attention, he's not worth your time.

Edited to say... I haven't read the previous posts. Not sure of your situation.

NO. NO SUBTLE HINTS. after 9 pages of advice, OP is going to work on being direct because homeboy hasn't picked up on any of her other subtle hints. thanks for playing though.

As I said.... I did NOT read previous posts. My bad. And I stand by what I said. If they don't catch on to subtle hints... not worth your time or you'll end up throwing yourself at him. Flat out say I LIKE YOU. Ask HIM OUT yourself. What's the worse than can happen??? I married the man who I flat out told I was interested in him.

Geez.

Thank you too! I seriously need all the help I can get!

ctalimenti

Boy, you really remind me of myself when I was younger. You've been given some very good advice and I agree that guys need direct cues. The fact that he gets pretty flirty with you sounds like he's interested. It's just as hard for a guy to ask a girl out as visa versa. Guys appreciate not having to do all the work, you know? I think you are pretty and there's really no reason he'd decline.

deksgrl

Should I tell him I like him, or should I ask him if he likes me first?

Tell him.

This good? "You know, Hunter, I think that over this past year, I've really grown to like you."

Perfect, and then you could add, "so I wondered if maybe you'd like to go out on a date."

It's clear and direct, and you should get a clear and direct answer.

TR0berts

As I said.... I did NOT read previous posts. My bad. And I stand by what I said. If they don't catch on to subtle hints... not worth your time or you'll end up throwing yourself at him. Flat out say I LIKE YOU. Ask HIM OUT yourself. What's the worse than can happen??? I married the man who I flat out told I was interested in him.

Geez.

Those aren't "subtle hints," though.

BusyRaeNOTBusty

10 pages now. Most people are just telling you to ask the poor dude out. For 10 pages now you have made excuses. If you didn't want our advice why ask? You are very young. Most of us are older. We've dated a lot more than you have.

Lets discuss the scenarios here.

1. You do NOT ask him out. He doesn't ask you out. You continue to be friends, always wondering if he likes you, or when/if he'll ask you out, then you slowly drift apart. 10 years down the road he might become your "the one that got away".

2. You do NOT ask him out. He asks you out. You all live happily ever after. But he hasn't asked you out yet. What are the chances this is really going to happen?

3. You ask him out. He lets you know that he only likes you as a friend. Great. You are a little hurt but at least now you know and you are free to move on.

4. You ask him out. He did like you but is suddenly turned off by you asking him out. Awesome. Now you know he's a dumb-*kitten* and yes, it would mean he's a dumb-*kitten*, not "traditional". If he were traditional he might find it a little weird but if he really likes you he'd get over it and go out with you anyway. Move on.

5. You ask him out. He says yes. You live happily ever after.


I'd put money on scenario #1 being the most likely. Like 75% chance this will happen. And honestly to me this is the worst scenario. I'd guess #5 is the second most likely.

jmessina205

This.....

Sylvitryinghard

I always **** this up because I say what I think aarrrrrrrrrrrr

Sylvitryinghard

10 pages now. Most people are just telling you to ask the poor dude out. For 10 pages now you have made excuses. If you didn't want our advice why ask? You are very young. Most of us are older. We've dated a lot more than you have.

Lets discuss the scenarios here.

1. You do NOT ask him out. He doesn't ask you out. You continue to be friends, always wondering if he likes you, or when/if he'll ask you out, then you slowly drift apart. 10 years down the road he might become your "the one that got away".

2. You do NOT ask him out. He asks you out. You all live happily ever after. But he hasn't asked you out yet. What are the chances this is really going to happen.

3. You ask him out. He lets you know that he only likes you as a friend. Great. You are a little hurt but at least now you know and you are free to move on.

4. You ask him out. He did like you but is suddenly turned off by you asking him out. Awesome. Now you know he's a dumb-*kitten* and yes, it would mean he's a dumb-*kitten*, not "traditional". If he were traditional he might find it a little weird but if he really likes you he'd get over it and go out with you anyway. Move on.

5. You ask him out. He says yet. You live happily ever after.


I'd put money on scenario #1 being the most likely. Like 75% chance this will happen. And honestly to me this is the worst scenario. I'd guess #5 is the second most likely.

yerrrrrrrrrrrr this is great!!

TR0berts

10 pages now. Most people are just telling you to ask the poor dude out. For 10 pages now you have made excuses. If you didn't want our advice why ask? You are very young. Most of us are older. We've dated a lot more than you have.

Lets discuss the scenarios here.

1. You do NOT ask him out. He doesn't ask you out. You continue to be friends, always wondering if he likes you, or when/if he'll ask you out, then you slowly drift apart. 10 years down the road he might become your "the one that got away".

2. You do NOT ask him out. He asks you out. You all live happily ever after. But he hasn't asked you out yet. What are the chances this is really going to happen?

3. You ask him out. He lets you know that he only likes you as a friend. Great. You are a little hurt but at least now you know and you are free to move on.

4. You ask him out. He did like you but is suddenly turned off by you asking him out. Awesome. Now you know he's a dumb-*kitten* and yes, it would mean he's a dumb-*kitten*, not "traditional". If he were traditional he might find it a little weird but if he really likes you he'd get over it and go out with you anyway. Move on.

5. You ask him out. He says yes. You live happily ever after.


I'd put money on scenario #1 being the most likely. Like 75% chance this will happen. And honestly to me this is the worst scenario. I'd guess #5 is the second most likely.

Yep. Although I'd like to add one more, if I may.

6. You ask him out (or he asks you out - either way), and he/you say(s) yes. You date, but then find out that you're not really compatible as a couple - better off friends. Well, at least now you know that and can move on with your lives.


Don't do #1. I've done that. It sucks.

BusyRaeNOTBusty

Yep. Although I'd like to add one more, if I may.

6. You ask him out (or he asks you out - either way), and he/you say(s) yes. You date, but then find out that you're not really compatible as a couple - better off friends. Well, at least now you know that and can move on with your lives.


Don't do #1. I've done that. It sucks.

That too. But she is a like 18 so I really don't expect them to "live happily ever after". At 18 that could be like 6 weeks.

TR0berts

Good point.

BobMcCloskey

I'm thinking that he is into you as well, and not sure how to express it, out of fear of rejection. Just like you.

It's almost Halloween. Ask him if he wants to go to one of the horror movies now in theaters, with you. During a particularly scarey scene, grab him by the arm and put your head on his chest. When the scene is over, look up at him, and when he looks back at you with a smile, lean into him and kiss him, on the lips, quickly and gently. Look at him again and smile. If he leans into you to kiss you again, you're in! If not, say "Thanks! That really freaked me out! I'm glad you're here with me!" and continue to hold his arm and rest your head on his shoulder, until the next scary scene when you can let go and put both of your hands over your face.

You can explain it away when you "talk" about it after the movie, by saying that your impulsive action was an expression of gratitude, and comforting to you, and thank him again. But only say this AFTER he tells you it made him feel awkward, uncomfortable, or what ever.

Let him lead the discussion. He may tell you that he enjoyed it, and would like to kiss you again, at which point you can agree with him, and then you both mutually go for it.

Carissa145

I'm thinking that he is into you as well, and not sure how to express it, out of fear of rejection. Just like you.

It's almost Halloween. Ask him if he wants to go to one of the horror movies now in theaters, with you. During a particularly scarey scene, grab him by the arm and put your head on his chest. When the scene is over, look up at him, and when he looks back at you with a smile, lean into him and kiss him, on the lips, quickly and gently. Look at him again and smile. If he leans into you to kiss you again, you're in! If not, say "Thanks! That really freaked me out! I'm glad you're here with me!" and continue to hold his arm and rest your head on his shoulder, until the next scary scene when you can let go and put both of your hands over your face.

You can explain it away when you "talk" about it after the movie, by saying that your impulsive action was an expression of gratitude, and comforting to you, and thank him again. But only say this AFTER he tells you it made him feel awkward, uncomfortable, or what ever.

Let him lead the discussion. He may tell you that he enjoyed it, and would like to kiss you again, at which point you can agree with him, and then you both mutually go for it.

Actually, its funny you brought this up because he loves horror moves... he actually made one a couple of years ago. Thanks!

Carissa145

So I know I said I'd give an update, but the thing is, I really didn't have a chance to talk with him. I thought I was going to be able to, but someone else came up and started talking to him. I did talk to his sister (I know... I wasn't planning on it, but at this point his sister and I were alone and I knew I wouldn't get a change to talk to him). She said that she wasn't sure who he was interested in. And she said she didn't tell him I was interested in him. So, yeah. That's the update.

MissChyna

I'm so bad at letting a guy know
Fear of rejection is a killer lol

thezorb

Honey, it only takes four words: You.Me.Bed.Now. That shouldn't require a lot of time. Guys aren't subtle, but then neither am I--you have to beat me over the head with a stick before I figure it out. My mom has been giggling about this for years.

As long as he stays your friend, no matter whether there is sex involved or not, it's all good. However, if he disses you for being honest, then you've wasted a year, I'm sorry to say.