FWB ignored me at bar ...

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  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    Yep... you were a FWB, not a RWB (relationship with benefits).

    When a girl sleeps with a guy so quickly, this is what (in my experience) usually happens. You become just a toy, and not something serious. Just my old fashioned opinion.

    AGAIN, it has nothing to do with how quickly she slept with him. this guy was pretty clear (and again, to everyone BUT the OP) from the start that he DID NOT want a relationship with her in any form. by sleeping with him without commitment for two years OP sent the message that she was in agreement with the arrangement. when she asked about a relationship, the guy peaced out. if he wanted a relationship with her he would have made it happen, regardless of how soon she slept with him or how long she waited.

    why does it always come down to the fact that the girl, god forbid, put out? is it not ok for us womens to want to get laid too?

    Also from a guys outlook notice all the ones saying he is an jerk,a-hole etc when for all we know he was simply going along with the terms of what a FWB is and under the assurance she was too.
    Now if she was clear that she was in love with him and hoped he would fall for her and he had no intention but wanted sex so pretended that could be then sure,I would say the same.
    In this case it does not appear that was what ultimately happened,by the OP she entered into a casual,intimate relationship believing that it would progress and it did not.
  • jenluvsushi
    jenluvsushi Posts: 933 Member
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    In my experience, people will treat you how you allow them to treat you. If you don't want a FWB relationship, don't allow that situation to start in the first place. Also, why do you expect him to call you or say hello when you told him to kick rocks? You are still expecting him to come running after you.....time to get over it and move on. If you don't want to be treated like garbage, don't allow it. Nothing wrong with FWB if that is what you are looking for....obviously you are not. If and when you get into a new relationship, do not sleep with them UNTIL you have mutually decided to be exclusive. If the guy won't wait, he is not into you. Seriously....they will do anything if they really do like you.
  • itsjustdawn
    itsjustdawn Posts: 1,073 Member
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    I would be willing to bet that OP would go running back to this guy if he told her that he wanted to see her. Or she'd respond immediately if he suddenly sent her a text.
  • Dunkirk
    Dunkirk Posts: 465 Member
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    He reminds me of the saying,

    "Why keep a cow when you can get milk for free"
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    Why do so many people on this board feel the need to be mean, nasty, and rude?

    If you don't have anything nice to say, stfu.

    Irony
  • yoolka05
    yoolka05 Posts: 11
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    If you spoke as intelligently as you type, that might explain things..

    awful that you need to be so cruel to this woman so that you can feel better about yourself...
  • TheSlorax
    TheSlorax Posts: 2,401 Member
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    He reminds me of the saying,

    "Why keep a cow when you can get milk for free"

    I would appreciate it if people would stop using my saying
  • glynda66
    glynda66 Posts: 184 Member
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    Dear,
    he's just not that into you..sorry to be so bold. You are over thinking this male. Men are simple creatures and his actions show his interest.

    For yourself, you've had your fun, now it's time to ignore him, and find someone better.

    The best bet for a female is always to play the one who got away.

    Hoping for better prospects for you. Keep your emotions in check, and never put too many expectations on anything.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    I'm not a simple creature. FU for that generalization.
  • glynda66
    glynda66 Posts: 184 Member
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    Hey...I didnt say it.
    Just agree with it..lol..:wink:
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    Hey...I didnt say.
    Just agree with it..lol..

    Which is just as bad.

    If that is the case, then you have two functions: Make Sandwich and Make Baby.

    :angry:
  • Blondiegrl11
    Blondiegrl11 Posts: 458 Member
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    Op fell for a guy she was having sex with, totally unheard of ( insert eye roll) she definitely deserves a scarlet letter....her only mistake was thinking he was a friend...
  • glynda66
    glynda66 Posts: 184 Member
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    Hey...I didnt say.
    Just agree with it..lol..

    Which is just as bad.

    If that is the case, then you have two functions: Make Sandwich and Make Baby.

    :angry:


    See....simple creature. Food and sex...lol. :wink:
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
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    1. He is not into you.
    2. You need to put HIM on ignore.

    NEVER do friends with benefits if it's not what you really want.

    quoting and emphasizing for the great advice. fo reals.
    ^This times a MILLION

    For realsies!
  • ginchrst
    ginchrst Posts: 49
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    I would be willing to bet that OP would go running back to this guy if he told her that he wanted to see her. Or she'd respond immediately if he suddenly sent her a text.

    I'm gonna try my hardest NOT to ... I'm working on gettin over this and moving on!!!
  • TheSlorax
    TheSlorax Posts: 2,401 Member
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    Hey...I didnt say.
    Just agree with it..lol..

    Which is just as bad.

    If that is the case, then you have two functions: Make Sandwich and Make Baby.

    :angry:


    See....simple creature. Food and sex...lol. :wink:

    I am a simple creature. I like nice things, ganja, and sex. oh and maker's mark. ****. if I like more than three things am I complicated?
  • ginchrst
    ginchrst Posts: 49
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    If you spoke as intelligently as you type, that might explain things..

    awful that you need to be so cruel to this woman so that you can feel better about yourself...

    I honestly don't let comments like this phase me, but thanks for putting it out there!

    I'm a very intelligent woman :)
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    Describing him and thinking of him as a friend is where you were mistaken. After you had the "relationship talk" the first time, you had no contact at all for months. That's not a friend. Then after you got "back together" and you found out he was seeing other people, again, you had no contact. Then when you ran into him, you didn't even get a greeting.

    Nothing in any of that sounds like a FWB situation. Sounds like just wishful thinking. Wishful thinking that he was a friend, wishful thinking that you might have an exclusive relationship, wishful thinking that he would change his mind about the nature of the relationship.

    There is a saying, when you are going into or are in a relationship and you don't want to see reality, you "paint the red flags green". There were a lot of red flags there you didn't want to see. I hope you learn from it.
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,031 Member
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    In my experience, people will treat you how you allow them to treat you.
    so very true..
  • Madame_Goldbricker
    Madame_Goldbricker Posts: 1,625 Member
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    I didn't read the whole thread so probably repeating here. Sounds like he's mates with the OP's brother in law & probably doesn't want to make thing's complicated in his friendship with him. If you have to bring up the question of "are we in a relationship" after 2years chances are you already know you aren't in one. If after 2 years he's not involved in your life, friendships, met family members (if you are close to them), or spends any time outside the bedroom with you then it's not a relationship. Men/women might say they aren't in the market for being involved with someone, but unfortunately that actually translates to they aren't into a relationship with the person doing the asking.

    You said you cut off contact with him but then got offended when he didn't talk to you. He probably didn't want to cause a scene by coming over to talk to you. For all he knew he was going to end up with a pint dumped on his head.

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