FWB ignored me at bar ...
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Replies
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1. Lol (brace yourself this will not be sugar-coated)
2. Its FOB as you've just said yourself, I don't get why you keep getting the impression that all of a sudden its going to bloom into a magical romance. You're more into him than hes into you.. unfortunately everythings not going to come out equal and like the films etc etc. People have different aims, interests - you both want sex, but he doesnt want to get tied up because he doesn't see himself committing to you/ doesn't want to be tied to you long term. He should of outright said it but people are cowards and want to tip toe around the obvious instead of admitting it and dealing with the initial hardship. Lifes tough eh.0 -
He was not a friends with benefits. You were a little fleshlight that he pulled out when ever he wanted to get off and nothing more.
I just googled "fleshlight".... :frown:
ahhh curiosity is killing me now........must go google fleshlight
Hope you're not at work!
*sighing head lowered to desk* I am but that's ok I work at a doc's office and they google crazy **** all the time.............words like micropenis......my first week here I saw them google that and I knew I would fit right in. Oh and one for you guys to google......*kitten*
shudder....I kinda felt lucky for not having to google *kitten* as I already knew that one but fleshlight (which I DID have to google) made me feel unlucky again.0 -
All of his actions say he's not interested but will have sex if you make it available.
All of your actions point to insecurity and a futile hope that he will want a relationship with you.
You are headed in opposite directions so delete his number and put your energy and thoughts into something constructive and emotionally healthy. That way, when Mr. Right does come moseying along in the most unexpected of places, you'll have something to talk about other than The One Who Got Away.0 -
He was not a friends with benefits. You were a little fleshlight that he pulled out when ever he wanted to get off and nothing more.
I just googled "fleshlight".... :frown:
ahhh curiosity is killing me now........must go google fleshlight
Hope you're not at work!
*sighing head lowered to desk* I am but that's ok I work at a doc's office and they google crazy **** all the time.............words like micropenis......my first week here I saw them google that and I knew I would fit right in. Oh and one for you guys to google......*kitten*
shudder....I kinda felt lucky for not having to google *kitten* as I already knew that one but fleshlight (which I DID have to google) made me feel unlucky again.
Damn it. I shouldn't have opened this one. I'm about to google them all...0 -
Stop trying to understand the 'why'. You will never understand why he did what he did or why he wasn't your friend or why this or why that. Even if he told you straight to your face the WHY, you wouldn't be satisfied with the answer anyway. You will either still not understand the motivation to his WHY, or otherwise to try rationalize it all by asking nonsense questions like 'But if we weren't friends or if he didn't care about me, why did he <insert nice thing he did for you once/nice gesture/etc>?' The best thing you can do is look at his actions, take them at face value and move on. FOR YOUR OWN SAKE. Stop asking yourself or anyone else questions like this: "So you think maybe he thought the depth of my friendship was only sexually motivated?". You are trying to selectively analyze his behavior in a way to convince yourself he feels for you more than he does (ie he acted this way because he was mistaken about your motivations). Stop getting excited about the notion that he didn't say anything to you because he was following your directions and letting that make you hopeful that could mean he does actually care for you. You are only hurting yourself. This person is not a person you need in your life (regardless of the argument of whether or not he did anything 'wrong') because having him in your life will only cause you more and more pain. And more importantly, don't take any of his actions/behavior personally (ie being so caught up over him "disrespecting" you). I know it's easier said than done, but the sooner you actively try to move on, the better for your mental and emotional wellbeing.0
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He was not a friends with benefits. You were a little fleshlight that he pulled out when ever he wanted to get off and nothing more.
I just googled "fleshlight".... :frown:
ahhh curiosity is killing me now........must go google fleshlight
Hope you're not at work!
*sighing head lowered to desk* I am but that's ok I work at a doc's office and they google crazy **** all the time.............words like micropenis......my first week here I saw them google that and I knew I would fit right in. Oh and one for you guys to google......*kitten*
shudder....I kinda felt lucky for not having to google *kitten* as I already knew that one but fleshlight (which I DID have to google) made me feel unlucky again.
Damn it. I shouldn't have opened this one. I'm about to google them all...
*kitten* is a major I hate the way it sounds word for me. However, Smeghead I have no issue with as I loved Red Dwarf.0 -
TL;DR
I did.... But no idea why... He didn't see her in a crowded bar, and she got butthurt.... End of story.0 -
:indifferent:
The things I've missed out on...0 -
You didn't do anything wrong, and you are not naive or unintelligent in any way. You showed friendship to someone who did not deserve it. It has happened to the best of us. Yes, he did show that he was not interested, but he also strung you along knowing that you were an easy target he could toy with, bring back, hook up with and then throw away whenever he felt like it. If a guy acts like he doesn't give a crap, then he truly doesn't give a crap. He is not having a bad week, a bad month or whatever stops him from calling or texting for so long. I can promise you that. He just isn't interested. It sucks, and it definitely isn't cool to treat another human being this way who has been nothing but nice to you, but it happens. Just see it as a lesson learned and beware of those red flags in the future.0
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The man you were with from what you stated was 100% honest with you. When you initially wanted a "relationship" he told you what he wanted. He didn't lie and say yes you are his gf and then creep around. He let you know what this was. Then when you heard he was with another women(whether it was a platonic dinner or not) YOU GOT "emotional" and told him you wanted nothing to do with him b/c you could not handle your feelings for him. Then after telling him you could not handle your relationship, you are upset that he may have walked past you b/c he did not want to stir up more drama. I do not mean to be harsh with you, but this is entirely your fault. He did not disrespect you in any manner. He was honest from the beginning with what he wanted, and you could not separate your feelings from the reality of your relationship. I would let him go before you end up twisting what is happening in your mind and manufacture things which did not happen to blame him for your being upset. Next time I would consider whether you can handle FWB relationships as not everyone can and that is ok we all have different personalities and I would never say one person's personality is more correct than another. Just look out for yourself and listen to the realities of your relationship. Since he was the only one 100% honest from the beginning I would just let this walking past you thing slide and just not contact him.0
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Stop trying to understand the 'why'. You will never understand why he did what he did or why he wasn't your friend or why this or why that. Even if he told you straight to your face the WHY, you wouldn't be satisfied with the answer anyway. You will either still not understand the motivation to his WHY, or otherwise to try rationalize it all by asking nonsense questions like 'But if we weren't friends or if he didn't care about me, why did he <insert nice thing he did for you once/nice gesture/etc>?' The best thing you can do is look at his actions, take them at face value and move on. FOR YOUR OWN SAKE. Stop asking yourself or anyone else questions like this: "So you think maybe he thought the depth of my friendship was only sexually motivated?". You are trying to selectively analyze his behavior in a way to convince yourself he feels for you more than he does (ie he acted this way because he was mistaken about your motivations). Stop getting excited about the notion that he didn't say anything to you because he was following your directions and letting that make you hopeful that could mean he does actually care for you. You are only hurting yourself. This person is not a person you need in your life (regardless of the argument of whether or not he did anything 'wrong') because having him in your life will only cause you more and more pain. And more importantly, don't take any of his actions/behavior personally (ie being so caught up over him "disrespecting" you). I know it's easier said than done, but the sooner you actively try to move on, the better for your mental and emotional wellbeing.
I have allowed his actions get the best of me cause I do pick & analyze why or why not and it's not getting me anywhere. I have to start thinking that maybe this is who he is, his character and no matter what i've said or done or not said or done, he would've shown the same kind of actions! Honestly, your are so right ... even if i had all of the answers i still wouldn't be satisfied. I'm mad at myself for allowing for so long cause it is now harder to get over him ... life does go on though!0 -
The lesson for the day.......LIVE AND LEARN.0
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I can honestly say I have rarely seen a FWB relationship end well. My best male friend from college will not speak to me to this day because of a FWB situation, but in the reverse. It can work, but it can easily go very, very badly.0
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1. He is not into you.
2. You need to put HIM on ignore.
NEVER do friends with benefits if it's not what you really want.
^^^^^^hit the nail on the head right there. This is dude is not interested. Move on.0 -
heres a crazy idea, and im just putting it out there. perhaps he isnt lying when he said he didnt see you.
its a crazy idea to think that a man, of all people, wasnt lying, but stranger things have happened.
i know when ive been in bars ive walked straight past people i know and didnt see them until the tapped me on the shoulder.
as for the rest of the stuff, how is he the bad guy. you knew what he wanted and allowed it, when you said you wanted more he said no.
i dont see how the man is the bad guy here, its not like he led you on thinking that there was a relationship blooming.0 -
I can honestly say I have rarely seen a FWB relationship end well. My best male friend from college will not speak to me to this day because of a FWB situation, but in the reverse. It can work, but it can easily go very, very badly.
I agree Monkey FWB relationships are very hard to work out. Usually one party will start developing feelings and want to take the relationship to a level where the other party does not. Also, sometimes people feel awkward about telling their FWB partner that they have found someone and want a relationship with the other person b/c they feel that telling the FWB partner about this is like a "break up" of a non committed relationship. I had two FWB relations in my life. 1st ended horribly and we no longer speak as she wanted more than I was willing to give. The second (we are still friends but didn't talk for 4 months) as she got a bf but wanted to still screw around which I thought was tacky and broke it off.0 -
Just read the OP's post and I have a co-worker who is very interested in meeting her......he wants to exchange pics.....0
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OP:
just remember:
Jennifer Aniston got dumped. Jennifer... Aniston....
If SHE can get dumped, anyone can.
I'll bet she doesn't have to sit home moping about it if she doesn't want to. Neither do you.0 -
I would be willing to bet that OP would go running back to this guy if he told her that he wanted to see her. Or she'd respond immediately if he suddenly sent her a text.0
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This may sound harsh, and perhaps old fashioned, but please understand there's absolutely no judgment here......But if you already disrespected yourself by sleeping with him only a couple weeks in to your "friends with benefits" relationship, what did you honestly think would happen? You forfeited any rights to his respect in return. I am truly sorry if this is painful, but you asked.
Many people will try to argue this as "back in the days" times. But it is what it is, and no amount of arguing will change it. Intimacy is for married couples, it is Biblical, and the way God intended it to be saved for.
Now having said that, you ended things with him, and rightly so, why would you let him get to you, and worse yet, let him know he got to you?
You deserve to find someone whom shares your same values, someone whom will treat you right, and in turn, you treat him right as well. A relationship takes a lot of understanding, communication, and give and take. Hopefully you do things differently next time.
Best Wishes to you.
Wow... no judgement but you had sex with somebody outside a relationship, so you disrespected yourself and forfeited any right to be treated with respect.
Dear lord...0
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