Bridezilla, weight loss sabotage? Or common sense.

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  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
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    I would schedule my wedding on the same day as hers, and tell all the guests that they can wear whatever the heck they want if they attend MY wedding. Also loots of free booze. Mwahahahahahahahaha!!

    Congrats.

    You said what I was thinking, LOL!
  • somerisagirlsname
    somerisagirlsname Posts: 467 Member
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    I would schedule my wedding on the same day as hers, and tell all the guests that they can wear whatever the heck they want if they attend MY wedding. Also loots of free booze. Mwahahahahahahahaha!!

    Congrats.

    Oh man, such a good idea! Sounds like something I'd do.

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  • MuseofSong
    MuseofSong Posts: 322 Member
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    Soo for those of you who know my anniversary with BF ended with him proposing :) my sister said i can't wear my engagement ring because it's not my wedding and bridesmaids apparently traditionally don't wear any jewlery because it takes focus away from the bride. Sany of you know if this is true? my mother says shes puling it out her backside. I told her its fine as i'll tie some roe on my finger since thats not really jewlery. This standing up for myself is pretty fun. ;)

    My fiance sadly for me is no longer attending on account, in his words " I don't want to celebrate your sociopath sisters, i tricked a guy into marrying me so f**k all of you day". Haha he's a silly one, though now im facing this wedding hell alone, so wish me luck and lets hope she doesnt decide her weddingneeds a human sacrifice :/

    Your sister is making it all up. She's ruining her friendships for the sake of a wedding day. It's terrible. My sister bought matching earrings sets for her bridesmaids, so the thing about jewelry, is just nonsense.

    My sister was reasonable to her bridesmaids. She picked the colors of her wedding and all we had to do is match the wedding colors in any kind of formal occasion dress that we wanted. Of course, now I'm too small for that bridesmaid outfit. ^_^ But, it was still nice at the time to be able to dress in a way that didn't make me feel foolish. Had I stayed the same size, I would have been able to wear those pieces again. But, I'm glad I didn't have to waste $500 on a flash in the pan outfit.

    Good luck on what you do, as a sister I know you feel like you cannot just excuse yourself from the event, but it really sounds like it's going to be horrible. Sorry!
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
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    Soo for those of you who know my anniversary with BF ended with him proposing :) my sister said i can't wear my engagement ring because it's not my wedding and bridesmaids apparently traditionally don't wear any jewlery because it takes focus away from the bride. Sany of you know if this is true? my mother says shes puling it out her backside. I told her its fine as i'll tie some roe on my finger since thats not really jewlery. This standing up for myself is pretty fun. ;)

    My fiance sadly for me is no longer attending on account, in his words " I don't want to celebrate your sociopath sisters, i tricked a guy into marrying me so f**k all of you day". Haha he's a silly one, though now im facing this wedding hell alone, so wish me luck and lets hope she doesnt decide her weddingneeds a human sacrifice :/

    Just break up.

    Seriously. I bought jewelry for my bridesmaids (two were married and wore their rings).

    Leave the wedding party.
  • kburns0709
    kburns0709 Posts: 297 Member
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    Alrighty this is all freaking ridiculous. Why do you even feel like you have to ask people's advice about this? Get out and don't let yourself be treated like that. I'm getting married on Saturday and guess how much I care what anybody else is wearing? NONE. I said buy a short navy dress that you like. DONE. How easy was that? This ***** cray.
  • Qski
    Qski Posts: 246 Member
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    I hadn't seen this thread before... I read the first page and now the last.
    I am totally in shock and can't believe your sister... she is totally loopy - all the wedding stuff must have addled her brain. Surely after losing most of her bridesmaid party, she would get the hint, but no.. she is hanging in there and even getting worse?!

    Congratulations on your engagement!
    Wear your ring (or go with the most ridiculously clashy string round your finger you can) because that is total rubbish!

    I don't know a lot about wedding traditions and have never really planned or had ideas about my wedding in my head (other than hoping to wear a pretty dress), but the last couple of weddings I have heard about or experienced. In both the bridesmaids were gifted jewellery to wear on the day (pretty earrings and a bracelet). And they could wear additional pieces if they wanted and other rings did not come up at all.

    The fact that you are still hanging in there through all her rubbish makes you a saint. I would be taking any money you were going to spend on the wedding clothes or whatever and go out on a romantic dinner date somewhere. (since he is free too! :laugh: )
  • kimmianne89
    kimmianne89 Posts: 428 Member
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    Don't stop your fitness goals at all!
    My eldest sister hinted at this to me too, but openly came out and said "you cant be skinnier than me on my wedding".
    It is just me and my middle sister (who is already married and wasn't a bridezilla at all! ) who are the bridesmaids, and a 10 year old as a flower girl. My sister bought her wedding dress online at a great price! its really big and beautiful. She had decided then that me and my sister had to also wear a big (pink) dress down the wedding as she didn't want to look like "a disco ball with two pencils beside her" :S
    We've agreed to everything as its her wedding, and i'd go down in a bin bag if it made her happy, but then she said she didn't want the combined amount for the bridesmaids dresses to be more than her dress (neither was the grooms suit etc) which is ridiculous as she got her dress extremely cheaply online, yet ours as it was for two of us was coming from a shop, which is always more expensive, plus we are paying for it ourselves anyway. she also had ridiculous budgets for everything for example £50 for a photographer £30 for 150 invites etc and gave us the jobs to do it. I openly said to her that she was being a bit of a bridezilla, and making the whole situation unnecessarily stressful. That we can get things done for her but with realistic budgets and timeframes. (she told us she was getting married in June (i think) and said the wedding is in Oct, Its now in march luckily.) and that she doesn't even like pink so is she sure she wants us in pink and to be reasonable with the dresses as we have to order them or we wont have any.. she let us buy ourselves the dresses in the end !

    Basically,, just cause its her wedding doesn't mean she can turn into a b**ch so speak up, and don't stop your fitness goals!
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
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    Your sister needs psychiatric help. Fricking psycho. Poor groom.
    Soo for those of you who know my anniversary with BF ended with him proposing :) my sister said i can't wear my engagement ring because it's not my wedding and bridesmaids apparently traditionally don't wear any jewlery because it takes focus away from the bride. Sany of you know if this is true? my mother says shes puling it out her backside. I told her its fine as i'll tie some roe on my finger since thats not really jewlery. This standing up for myself is pretty fun. ;)

    My fiance sadly for me is no longer attending on account, in his words " I don't want to celebrate your sociopath sisters, i tricked a guy into marrying me so f**k all of you day". Haha he's a silly one, though now im facing this wedding hell alone, so wish me luck and lets hope she doesnt decide her wedding needs a human sacrifice :/

    Looks like your fiance picked up on it too. Jeez.
  • shayemimi
    shayemimi Posts: 203 Member
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    Please drop out of this wedding party...

    Your sister is being completely unreasonable and horribly selfish and should not be allowed to treat ANYONE ,especially a sister like she is treating you. And by staying in the wedding party you are allowing her to treat you that way. NO WAY would I let ANYONE treat me like that!

    Wow/ Just Wow. :(
  • jkestens63
    jkestens63 Posts: 1,164 Member
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    I don't believe getting married gives anyone license to treat others poorly, especially family. It is unreasonable to ask you to stop losing weight. That said, should you choose to hold off on your goals or give in to ridiculous demands, that is on you. It is your responsibility to stand up for yourself and not allow anyone -regardless of the relationship- to treat you like crap. It is up to you to initiate a conversation and let her know calmly and clearly what your limits are in terms of partcipating in the wedding. If she cannot agree then tell her you will be celebrating as a guest. If she disinvites you entirely, let her know that you are sorry to hear that, you would enjoy seeing how beautiful she will be but it is her decision.


    Remember a bridezilla easily turns into an anniverzilla, mom-to-bezilla etc. Allowing it to continue now sets a bad precedence that can continue for the rest of your lives.

    And seriously, not allowing alterations is just stupid.
  • AccioFitness
    AccioFitness Posts: 244 Member
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    Two words: boundary issues.

    Your sister has them.

    QFT!!!

    Your sister is the bride, yes, but that doesn't give her the right to tell you how to live your life! Focus in your health; it will matter far more in the end than a singular date in which your sister wears in overly-expensive dress.

    For what it's worth... As a bride myself who did micromanage more than I should have, you sister's behavior is appalling. Screw dying your hair or cutting it just to appease her for ONE day. Especially as she has changed her mind once already in regards to dress style and color. You are there to support her, not to be her damn lapdog. And the sooner she realizes this the better. Maybe she will be able to salvage some of her friendships if she does.

    Edited to add: During my wedding planning the only requests I made of my bridesmaids was to have the same color dress and to have it around knee-length. Beyond that they were free to choose any cut or style they liked. I also requested that they get nude/champagne colored shoes. They did of have to 100% match but I wanted the color to be similar.

    They wore whatever jewlery they normally wear with neutral colored makeup. As wedding gifts they all got fascinators (there was a 50s theme at the reception and partially at the service itself). Beyond that, I just wanted them there I time to help me get ready and be there for pictures. And for the rehearsal the Friday prior.

    Your sister is going so far overboard it is painful for me to think of what she is putting you and the rest of your family through. You don't deserve that kind of treatment, OP.
  • Territravel
    Territravel Posts: 165 Member
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    I wouldn't spend a dime on wedding things for at least another 6-8 months. There's a good chance the fiance may get wise and bale out before the big day rolls around.
  • obsidianwings
    obsidianwings Posts: 1,237 Member
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    Firstly, if shes going to get all "its MY wedding" about it, then maybe she should be paying for it.
    I probably would've quit by now, but if you don't want to do that i'd be telling her i'm not going to stop losing weight so we either need to get the dress closer to the time, or you can guess at the size you will be, but it now and she can pay for any alterations.
  • nena49659
    nena49659 Posts: 260 Member
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    Bridezilla nothing. How about SPOILED ROTTEN BRAT.

    I thought my daughter's friend was bridezilla. Your sister takes the trophy on that one.
  • codycsweet
    codycsweet Posts: 1,019 Member
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    Wow is all I have to say. If it were me I won't be I. The weddings party anymore.
    The most important thing is you health and for someone let alone your sister to say don't lose weight and put it on hold is so over the line I can't even put it into words. One of my bridesmaids was preggo and I looked for styles and materials that were forgiving. I did pick the color of the dress but they did have input. I also made sure they were affordable since I wasn't in a position to pay for them.

    Congrats to you and your weight-loss journey
  • metaphoria
    metaphoria Posts: 1,432 Member
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    If her childish hysterics continue, your sister will likely find herself walking down the aisle toward an empty stage. I suggest medication. For her. In large doses.

    Use the $500+ you would waste on this wedding and put it toward a conveniently timed elopement with your honey to some tropical place. Good excuse not to be there, getting married, yourself.
  • MsJulielicious
    MsJulielicious Posts: 708 Member
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    I bet the bachelorette party is gonna be a blast

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  • Kiyalynn
    Kiyalynn Posts: 128 Member
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    Congrats on your engagement! Also, good luck on your weight loss, and future family plans!

    Your sister is a bridezilla, in the worst kind. That being said, I won't actually advise you to leave the wedding party. Its your sister. I would attend anything for my brother no matter what kinda fit he thew, so I completely understand that. Don't worry about a formal dress you'll never be wearing again. Honestly, what formal occasions will you be attending later? When one comes up, it will likely be years later and the dress won't fit or be what your looking for anyway. I think you did the right thing by buying your dress small. Continue your weight loss, permanent changes to your body, no one has any right to change but you. Don't dye your hair, or cut it (unless YOU want it), and keep up with your weight loss.

    My own wedding for comparison. I had a 'Bring your own Chair' wedding, as in, I told the guests to bring your own chair or stand in this park for 30-45 min. No set up, no clean up and the total cost of the wedding: less than 500$. ( Reception paid for by my parents for less than 300$.). Funny thing tho, everyone seamed very happy with my wedding. We gave everyone bubbles to blow at the 'happy couple', and the kids loved it. I love the picture of me and my husband, with bubbles flowing around us, and then the same picture from another angle showing the line of family happily blowing bubbles in our face.
  • mjrkearney
    mjrkearney Posts: 408 Member
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    Congratulations!

    And, you know, RUN!
  • bmqbonnie
    bmqbonnie Posts: 836 Member
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    Dayum! I just cannot imagine treating bridesmaids or anyone that badly. These are supposed to be her most loved friends and family and she is treating everyone like absolute crap.

    I know my BMs aren't made of money and don't have the same style as me so I will pick a color and probably fabric and have them each pick their own dresses according to their tastes and budget. I always thought the everybody-dress-like-twins thing was weird anyway. And I don't care about their shoes or hair. I can't imagine having people spend that much on any dress, let alone a hideous one.

    And you should be able to wear your damn ring. In any bridal party there's going to be people that are engaged or married and I've never heard of such a thing.

    This girl deserves a huge slap in the face and you not showing up (hopefully not the groom either) ought to be just the ticket. If you do go, I would show up wearing whatever.

    CONGRATS on your engagement!

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