Do not eat sandwiches
Replies
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Okay, I am confused. I had a chicken sandwich yesterday, but only ate it with the bottom part of the bun - so was it still a sandwich? Is it okay to eat broiled chicken with a piece of bread, as long as it's not on the top and bottom? Perhaps my partial confusion comes from eating a partial sandwich? Who can help me? Am I too far gone?0
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Then how did Jared lose so much weight? I'm thinking lipo and and a pay off check to keep his mouth shut.... Damn you Subway with your deliciously fresh baked breaded lies!!!!
It's pretty well accepted among our circles that Jarred is a cyborg
That would explain the awkward smile....0 -
BEST. POST. EVAR. :laugh: :drinker:0
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Bumping for later and to educate my pals about the sandwich horror.
This post has made my day. :laugh:0 -
Okay, I am confused. I had a chicken sandwich yesterday, but only ate it with the bottom part of the bun - so was it still a sandwich? Is it okay to eat broiled chicken with a piece of bread, as long as it's not on the top and bottom? Perhaps my partial confusion comes from eating a partial sandwich? Who can help me? Am I too far gone?
It sounds like you had an 'open sandwich'
Big Sandwiches implemented the idea of the open sandwich in order to introduce people to sandwich eating and get them addicted.
Open sandwiches are a gateway sandwich. Avoid them0 -
Can I just say Mutant I love you? I was so bored today and this has been the most enlightening, and entertaining information on the interwebz today!
:flowerforyou: 0 -
Can I just say Mutant I love you? I was so bored today and this has been the most enlightening, and entertaining information on the interwebz today! :flowerforyou:
Aw golly. I'm just glad I made somebody smile.
And educated the world about SandwichCorp. That too0 -
Okay, I am confused. I had a chicken sandwich yesterday, but only ate it with the bottom part of the bun - so was it still a sandwich? Is it okay to eat broiled chicken with a piece of bread, as long as it's not on the top and bottom? Perhaps my partial confusion comes from eating a partial sandwich? Who can help me? Am I too far gone?
It sounds like you had an 'open sandwich'
Big Sandwiches implemented the idea of the open sandwich in order to introduce people to sandwich eating and get them addicted.
Open sandwiches are a gateway sandwich. Avoid them
True story.
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Can I just say Mutant I love you? I was so bored today and this has been the most enlightening, and entertaining information on the interwebz today! :flowerforyou:
Aw golly. I'm just glad I made somebody smile.
And educated the world about SandwichCorp. That too
And spawned multiple parody threads. Of a parody thread. Of a...wait... :huh:
ETA: and I smiled lots today because of you, so thanks! :smooched:0 -
What? a great relationship consist of the 3 S's. Silence, Sex and Sandwiches.....you trying to break up a home.0
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As a representative of Sandwich Corp, I am disheartened by much of what I have read here today. We, and sandwiches, have always been there for you. Through your elementary school days, on picnic's, late at night when you couldn't even find a friend, we were just a trip to the kitchen away. For you to turn on us, through the hate filled propaganda spewed by this "mutant" person, I am just . . . well, when you find yourself with hunger pangs, and only bread and meat in the house (or a suitable spread) - we will once again be there fo you.
We will never turn our backs on you. We love you all, and we know you love us in return.
This has been a public service announcement by Sandwich Corp.0 -
As a representative of Sandwich Corp, I am disheartened by much of what I have read here today. We, and sandwiches, have always been there for you. Through your elementary school days, on picnic's, late at night when you couldn't even find a friend, we were just a trip to the kitchen away. For you to turn on us, through the hate filled propaganda spewed by this "mutant" person, I am just . . . well, when you find yourself with hunger pangs, and only bread and meat in the house (or a suitable spread) - we will once again be there fo you.
We will never turn our backs on you. We love you all, and we know you love us in return.
This has been a public service announcement by Sandwich Corp.
Do not let SandwichCorp appeal to your sentimentality!
Yes, they were there for you- peering over your shoulder as you shamefully scoffed a ham and Swiss in front of your computer
They were there for your children- whispering in their ears over their Pb&J, teaching them that culinary evolution is a lie!
They were there for your parents- feeding them cabbage and brisket and teaching them to commit hate crimes against celiacs.
SandwichCorp was there for you- LIKE HITLER WAS THERE FOR THE NAZIS!0 -
As a representative of Sandwich Corp, I am disheartened by much of what I have read here today. We, and sandwiches, have always been there for you. Through your elementary school days, on picnic's, late at night when you couldn't even find a friend, we were just a trip to the kitchen away. For you to turn on us, through the hate filled propaganda spewed by this "mutant" person, I am just . . . well, when you find yourself with hunger pangs, and only bread and meat in the house (or a suitable spread) - we will once again be there fo you.
We will never turn our backs on you. We love you all, and we know you love us in return.
This has been a public service announcement by Sandwich Corp.
Do not let SandwichCorp appeal to your sentimentality!
Yes, they were there for you- peering over your shoulder as you shamefully scoffed a ham and Swiss in front of your computer
They were there for your children- whispering in their ears over their Pb&J, teaching them that culinary evolution is a lie!
They were there for your parents- feeding them cabbage and brisket and teaching them to commit hate crimes against celiacs.
SandwichCorp was there for you- LIKE HITLER WAS THERE FOR THE NAZIS!
That is a little bit over the top. . .
We have never recommended putting cabbage and brisket together.0 -
As a representative of Sandwich Corp, I am disheartened by much of what I have read here today. We, and sandwiches, have always been there for you. Through your elementary school days, on picnic's, late at night when you couldn't even find a friend, we were just a trip to the kitchen away. For you to turn on us, through the hate filled propaganda spewed by this "mutant" person, I am just . . . well, when you find yourself with hunger pangs, and only bread and meat in the house (or a suitable spread) - we will once again be there fo you.
We will never turn our backs on you. We love you all, and we know you love us in return.
This has been a public service announcement by Sandwich Corp.
Do not let SandwichCorp appeal to your sentimentality!
Yes, they were there for you- peering over your shoulder as you shamefully scoffed a ham and Swiss in front of your computer
They were there for your children- whispering in their ears over their Pb&J, teaching them that culinary evolution is a lie!
They were there for your parents- feeding them cabbage and brisket and teaching them to commit hate crimes against celiacs.
SandwichCorp was there for you- LIKE HITLER WAS THERE FOR THE NAZIS!
That is a little bit over the top. . .
We have never recommended putting cabbage and brisket together.
That's interesting.
Because in this quote from 1941, your then president Lucifer Onepercent said
"You guys should totally eat cabbage and brisket sandwiches. It will be f*ckin awesome"0 -
those of you with kids know how evil this sandwich conspiracy is
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As a representative of Sandwich Corp, I am disheartened by much of what I have read here today. We, and sandwiches, have always been there for you. Through your elementary school days, on picnic's, late at night when you couldn't even find a friend, we were just a trip to the kitchen away. For you to turn on us, through the hate filled propaganda spewed by this "mutant" person, I am just . . . well, when you find yourself with hunger pangs, and only bread and meat in the house (or a suitable spread) - we will once again be there fo you.
We will never turn our backs on you. We love you all, and we know you love us in return.
This has been a public service announcement by Sandwich Corp.
Do not let SandwichCorp appeal to your sentimentality!
Yes, they were there for you- peering over your shoulder as you shamefully scoffed a ham and Swiss in front of your computer
They were there for your children- whispering in their ears over their Pb&J, teaching them that culinary evolution is a lie!
They were there for your parents- feeding them cabbage and brisket and teaching them to commit hate crimes against celiacs.
SandwichCorp was there for you- LIKE HITLER WAS THERE FOR THE NAZIS!
That is a little bit over the top. . .
We have never recommended putting cabbage and brisket together.
That's interesting.
Because in this quote from 1941, your then president Lucifer Onepercent said
"You guys should totally eat cabbage and brisket sandwiches. It will be f*ckin awesome"
The quote, taken in its entirety reads:
"I would never say something as improbable as, you guys should eat cabbage and brisket sandwiches. It will be f*ckin awesome, when we can strike this intestinal abomination from existence."
Come back, we welcome you with open arms, and all the condiments your heart desires.
Most sincerely,
Sandwich Corp0 -
It sounds like you had an 'open sandwich'
Big Sandwiches implemented the idea of the open sandwich in order to introduce people to sandwich eating and get them addicted.
Open sandwiches are a gateway sandwich. Avoid them
No, I can control it! Wait, are you telling me having something between two parts of an English muffin should also be considered a sandwich? Is it a breakfast sandwich if I eat it for dinner? Oh, you are right they are insidious in how they have infiltrated my thinking! If awareness of the problem is the first step, what's the second? I'll be happy to join a meeting/movement/coup if there will be cookies. Will there be cookies?0 -
What about tortilla wraps? Can I eat those?0
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It sounds like you had an 'open sandwich'
Big Sandwiches implemented the idea of the open sandwich in order to introduce people to sandwich eating and get them addicted.
Open sandwiches are a gateway sandwich. Avoid them
No, I can control it! Wait, are you telling me having something between two parts of an English muffin should also be considered a sandwich? Is it a breakfast sandwich if I eat it for dinner? Oh, you are right they are insidious in how they have infiltrated my thinking! If awareness of the problem is the first step, what's the second? I'll be happy to join a meeting/movement/coup if there will be cookies. Will there be cookies?
yes there will be cookies, but NOT oreos..... because they are Sandwich cookies!!!0 -
:drinker: this whole thread made me hungry for a meat ball sub.0
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Guys,
SandwichCorp has control over all 'food enclosed in another food' products. Stay away from all of it! I know it isn't easy, the siren call of the Sandwich is heard by us all, but we can't let those weasels win.
(Our intelligence shows that SandwichCorp's marketing is handled by actual weasels)0 -
Your thread is horrible. I was feeling like arguing with you and proving to you with science and stuff that sandwiches are the gift of God, but then I learned this was just a funny ha ha joke. I'm so angry!! HOW DARE YOU! How dare you raise my cortisol levels this is going to cause me to rage eat and then I'll just get fatter. If I balloon up to 600lbs it's all your fault.
PS after extensive google research for sandwich corp and corporate of sandwiches and even sandwich association there is nothing. Nothing how dare you trick us all0 -
Your thread is horrible. I was feeling like arguing with you and proving to you with science and stuff that sandwiches are the gift of God, but then I learned this was just a funny ha ha joke. I'm so angry!! HOW DARE YOU! How dare you raise my cortisol levels this is going to cause me to rage eat and then I'll just get fatter. If I balloon up to 600lbs it's all your fault.
PS after extensive google research for sandwich corp and corporate of sandwiches and even sandwich association there is nothing. Nothing how dare you trick us all
This is no joke. You won't find SandwichCorp on google. THEY ARE GOOGLE0 -
Your thread is horrible. I was feeling like arguing with you and proving to you with science and stuff that sandwiches are the gift of God, but then I learned this was just a funny ha ha joke. I'm so angry!! HOW DARE YOU! How dare you raise my cortisol levels this is going to cause me to rage eat and then I'll just get fatter. If I balloon up to 600lbs it's all your fault.
PS after extensive google research for sandwich corp and corporate of sandwiches and even sandwich association there is nothing. Nothing how dare you trick us all
This is no joke. You won't find SandwichCorp on google. THEY ARE GOOGLE
http://sandwichcorp.com/0 -
Ate my first HAM SANDWICH today..well not my first but my first in two years. I didn't give it up cause I may die, I gave them up because I was cutting out what I call bad carbs. Breads, pasta's , things like that. But I have to tell you it was the best thing I've eaten in a very long time. I may have to do it again tomorrow. And I'm still within my carb and calorie count. Yep good stuff.0
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Mind blown!0
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ACID! Like what James Bond villains put in death pits! Go put some ACIDS IN YOU!!!!
YEAH!! Go PUT SOME ACIDS IN YOU!!!! LMAO I like peanut butter and jelly the best. :drinker:0 -
Commoditising our souls!0
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Awesome!!!! I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. Great writing.0
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Got a PM Asking where I got my information for this thread from.
I replied that most of the sources were in the thread and many were supplied by the King of Science.
This is the 100%, no joke, copy pasted reply
Really this is what I get when I ask for you information. YOU TELL ME TO READ A 16 PAGE BLOG AND LOOK FOR SOME OTHER USER THANKS DON'T BOTHER TO RECONSIDER AND HAVE CHANGE OF HEART...THANKS FOR NOTHING. YOUR YOUR GOING TO SHOW CARE AND CONCERN FOR THE COMMUNITY AND POST WARNINGS AND FDA FINDING BE PREPARED TO HELP THE INDIVIDUAL THAT ASK FOR INFORMATION AS WELL
Well, I happen to agree. The King of Science should not hide his bushel under an basket, he should take his rightful place as KING OF THIS THREAD (of which, naturally, you are the QUEEN) and his knowledge should be spread far and wide (and even hither and yon) across the land so that more peasants can avoid the 'food within a food' plague which has swept this small burg. Perhaps a decree written with a quill pen on several rolls of parchment paper could then be scanned and posted on this very website, so that all the innocent citizens begging for information could subsequently become enlightened. I recommend that this decree should be written in all caps to designate its importance and make it easier for said naves comprehend.
What say ye?0
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