Do not eat sandwiches

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Replies

  • Nenny1985
    Nenny1985 Posts: 122
    Ok I bet I will get hate for this from people who are willing to put any old junk in their bodies but its important to get the word out there.

    DO NOT EAT SANDWICHES!

    Sandwiches are NOT natural. They do not occur naturally! Why would you eat something put together in a 'food lab' by a 'gastronomer'? Why would you put something that has been cobbled together in sterile conditions like some sort of Frankenstein's monster?

    Not to mention some of the individual components of sandwiches. Do you even know what 'Creme Fraiche' or 'Fluer de Sel' means in English? If you don't recognise it your body won't either!

    Many of the things these 'gastronomical scientists' add products to sandwiches that have been treated with Dihydrogen Monoxide during their creation process. Tomatoes, for example are created by being surrounded by large amounts of nitrogen, boron, chlorine, molybdenum, magnesium and more chemicals! Then they are routinely sprayed with large amounts of Dihydrogen Monoxide and nourished with carbon dioxide and RADIATION!

    Adding to that, many other components are treated with MORE Dihydrogen Monoxide! It's state is altered by the food scientist via a process called "washing" this is almost always done to lettuce!

    So PLEASE think about what you will put in your mouth! Did you know that eating sandwiches will even cause your body to profuse chemicals???? Once you eat a sandwich your body will start releasing things like Trypipsinogen and Carboxypeptidase? Do these sound safe to you? Do you want to walk around leaking chemicals like some sort of defunct nuclear reactor?!

    THINK BEFORE YOU EAT!

    Um...so I'm curious what you actually eat then
  • SOCOLOCO87
    SOCOLOCO87 Posts: 128 Member
    This is a long non sense thread.... I love it
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    make up has all of that and more.

    There is nothing wrong with eating make up, it doesn't have chemicals in it because the slogan for my makeup is 'Natural beauty in a bottle'

    'NATURAL'! Duh!

  • There is nothing wrong with eating make up, it doesn't have chemicals in it because the slogan for my makeup is 'Natural beauty in a bottle'

    'NATURAL'! Duh!

    In addition a great deal of make-up consists of powders which mean they can be consumed as shakes. Make-up is probably made from whey.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member

    In addition a great deal of make-up consists of powders which mean they can be consumed as shakes. Make-up is probably made from whey.

    ah, but how do you make the shakes without adding the deadly dihydrogen monoxide....?
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member

    You should feed off the brains if the people who don't understand this thread, their brains have nothing in them

    when I cracked open their skulls, they were empty :sad:
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member

    ah, but how do you make the shakes without adding the deadly dihydrogen monoxide....?

    Simple- the only thing you should mix your protein with is more protein
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member

    Simple- the only thing you should mix your protein with is more protein

    can I get powdered brains?
  • carmenmiranda1
    carmenmiranda1 Posts: 21 Member
    I feel so duped. So naive. I thought I was living a healthy lifestyle, but until now did not realise how many food-within-a-food sandwiches were hiding in my diet.

    Chicken Kiev.

    BLOODY CHICKEN KIEV.

    Why must SandwichCorp be so good at disguising sandwiches as other foods?
  • I just ate a bacon sandwich and anyone who thinks that is bad can kiss my *kitten*. :)
  • rawhidenadz
    rawhidenadz Posts: 254 Member

    :laugh:

    i'm crying, this thread is the best thing i have ever read
  • rawhidenadz
    rawhidenadz Posts: 254 Member
    make up has all of that and more.

    ahahaha are you kidding me right now? i can't even breathe anymore
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    I feel so duped. So naive. I thought I was living a healthy lifestyle, but until now did not realise how many food-within-a-food sandwiches were hiding in my diet.

    Chicken Kiev.

    BLOODY CHICKEN KIEV.

    Why must SandwichCorp be so good at disguising sandwiches as other foods?
    That's only the tip of the iceberg.

    Ice cream cones. Ice cream cones are a food with in a food.

    Damn those evil sandwich wizards!
  • rawhidenadz
    rawhidenadz Posts: 254 Member
    OP, you are amazing. Thank you for this.
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
    Wow this has been going on since yesterday....and people are still taking it seriously! :huh:
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    I feel so duped. So naive. I thought I was living a healthy lifestyle, but until now did not realise how many food-within-a-food sandwiches were hiding in my diet.

    Chicken Kiev.

    BLOODY CHICKEN KIEV.

    Why must SandwichCorp be so good at disguising sandwiches as other foods?

    Try living in an Arab country where every other restaurant sells sheesh tawook, felafel or shawarma wrapped in bread with delicious hummus, salads, chips and deep fried aubergine. All wrapped up in delicious flatbreads..... it's all food within a food :sad:

    Apparently the Arabs were eating these foods before the gambling fiend Earl of Sandwich invented his evil bready snacks.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    Wow this has been going on since yesterday....and people are still taking it seriously! :huh:

    to be fair, there are enough genuine nut jobs and genuinely incredibly stupid people, for me to be able to understand the difficulty in spotting the difference between parody and genuine nut-job extreme stupidity.

    I still haven't figured out whether Westboro baptist church are real or not.
  • girlinahat
    girlinahat Posts: 2,956 Member
    that dihydrogen monoxide is deadly stuff...
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member

    to be fair, there are enough genuine nut jobs and genuinely incredibly stupid people, for me to be able to understand the difficulty in spotting the difference between parody and genuine nut-job extreme stupidity.

    I still haven't figured out whether Westboro baptist church are real or not.
    Actually that's true. And the number of people who talk about their periods is astonishing!! haha!
  • jadethief
    jadethief Posts: 266 Member
    Help me Mutant. You’re my only hope. I have information that leads me to believe that Big Sandwich Corp has infiltrated our educational system and is compromising our students' reading comprehension ability!

    *hologram fades in and out*

    Help me Mutant. You’re my only hope. I have information that leads me to believe that Big Sandwich Corp has infiltrated our educational system and is compromising our students' reading comprehension ability!

    *hologram fades in and out*
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
    :huh:
    c489106d187439c34feab3feff6b3518.jpg
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    Help me Mutant. You’re my only hope. I have information that leads me to believe that Big Sandwich Corp has infiltrated our educational system and is compromising our students' reading comprehension ability!

    *hologram fades in and out*

    Help me Mutant. You’re my only hope. I have information that leads me to believe that Big Sandwich Corp has infiltrated our educational system and is compromising our students' reading comprehension ability!

    *hologram fades in and out*

    We must help this person!

    I will go an put on my cool vest and get my blaster. I need a tall hairy friend to be my accomplice
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    :huh:
    c489106d187439c34feab3feff6b3518.jpg

    Of course sandwiches are racist! SandwichCorp themselves are known benefactors of WBC.
    Bill O'Reilly also works for SandwichCorp
  • Of course PB&J are racist, but it's all down to grape or strawberry jam. Personally, I always go with purple.
  • carmenmiranda1
    carmenmiranda1 Posts: 21 Member
    Even so-called "brown breads" are not truly Bread of Colour. You may find the token Pumpernickel in the deli now and then, but ultimately, sandwiches are mostly about white bread suppressing dark fillings.
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    Sandwich privilege is a real thing
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
    If you use Jewish Rye bread for the sandwiches you are practicing antisemitism. CrossedArms.gif
  • Sandwich privilege is a real thing

    Its not just race it is class too. Think how oppressive the over-privileged crust cut-off sandwiches are lording it over other bread based meals. Don't even get me started on those inbred twits the little triangle sandwich at their closed shop gentleman's club morning teas.
  • Monkey_Business
    Monkey_Business Posts: 1,800 Member
    FACT: 100% of humans that eat sandwiches are either dead or will die

    Seriously folks think about it........
  • tinz75
    tinz75 Posts: 912 Member
    Oh Christ, I didn't think.... I read the warnings and still didn't think, I think I've been brainwashed....
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