Do not eat sandwiches
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Ok I bet I will get hate for this from people who are willing to put any old junk in their bodies but its important to get the word out there.
DO NOT EAT SANDWICHES!
Sandwiches are NOT natural. They do not occur naturally! Why would you eat something put together in a 'food lab' by a 'gastronomer'? Why would you put something that has been cobbled together in sterile conditions like some sort of Frankenstein's monster?
Not to mention some of the individual components of sandwiches. Do you even know what 'Creme Fraiche' or 'Fluer de Sel' means in English? If you don't recognise it your body won't either!
Many of the things these 'gastronomical scientists' add products to sandwiches that have been treated with Dihydrogen Monoxide during their creation process. Tomatoes, for example are created by being surrounded by large amounts of nitrogen, boron, chlorine, molybdenum, magnesium and more chemicals! Then they are routinely sprayed with large amounts of Dihydrogen Monoxide and nourished with carbon dioxide and RADIATION!
Adding to that, many other components are treated with MORE Dihydrogen Monoxide! It's state is altered by the food scientist via a process called "washing" this is almost always done to lettuce!
So PLEASE think about what you will put in your mouth! Did you know that eating sandwiches will even cause your body to profuse chemicals???? Once you eat a sandwich your body will start releasing things like Trypipsinogen and Carboxypeptidase? Do these sound safe to you? Do you want to walk around leaking chemicals like some sort of defunct nuclear reactor?!
THINK BEFORE YOU EAT!
Um...so I'm curious what you actually eat then0 -
This is a long non sense thread.... I love it0
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make up has all of that and more.
There is nothing wrong with eating make up, it doesn't have chemicals in it because the slogan for my makeup is 'Natural beauty in a bottle'
'NATURAL'! Duh!0 -
make up has all of that and more.
There is nothing wrong with eating make up, it doesn't have chemicals in it because the slogan for my makeup is 'Natural beauty in a bottle'
'NATURAL'! Duh!
In addition a great deal of make-up consists of powders which mean they can be consumed as shakes. Make-up is probably made from whey.0 -
make up has all of that and more.
There is nothing wrong with eating make up, it doesn't have chemicals in it because the slogan for my makeup is 'Natural beauty in a bottle'
'NATURAL'! Duh!
In addition a great deal of make-up consists of powders which mean they can be consumed as shakes. Make-up is probably made from whey.
ah, but how do you make the shakes without adding the deadly dihydrogen monoxide....?0 -
Should I stop exposing my plants to radiation and hydrogen monoxide? How am I going to stop them and me being exposed to all that carbon dioxide in the air though?
Also, look into the dangers of oxygen. A 50-50 mix of oxygen and any fuel in the air, even icing sugar, is highly explosive. It also makes metals rust and makes apples turn brown and basically oxidises anything it can get it's pernicious little atoms into.... have you been investigating this? I think we should all stop breathing. I mean *everyone* who breathes dies.....
As I have postulated, plant foods should not be included in your diet.
Oxygen is a chemical, already by that virtue it is extremely dangerous. You know what comes before Oxygen on the periodic table? NITROGEN! The chemical responsible for 'the bends'! Coincidence? I think not
but how do I give up breathing? When I try, I get breathing withdrawal symptoms that start with feeling really terrible and having this desperate desire to breathe again, followed by loss of consciousness. So going cold turkey from it is obviously not working.... is there any way I can wean myself off it slowly?
You need to allow yourself to pass out. This allow your body to reset itself an adjust to living without oxygen
Thank you kindly for this extremely helpful advice. Right after reading it, I did just what you said. In fact, I went one step further and made sure that when I passed out, my face would fall onto a roll of cling-film, to ensure that I didn't fall back into breathing again after losing consciousness (I've heard that's quite common)... I had originally thought of having my face fall into a bowl of water, then I remembered that it was made of the deadly dihydrogen monoxide so had to axe that plan.... anyway, I did that, and first went unconscious, then I dropped dead, and then my fairy godmother appeared out of nowhere and reanimated my lifeless corpse, and now I no longer breathe at all, so thankfully no more deadly, explosive oxygen is getting into my system. All I want to eat now are brains. Yummy, juicy, delicious brains.... totally natural and non-toxic brains.
My problem now is, I need to know where I can find a good supply of human brains that are free from oxygen, dihydrogen monoxide and sandwiches. Most people are addicted to those things and I fear that if I eat their brains, it might trigger cravings for these things, so I think it's better if I stick to eating brains from people who avoid those things, just to be on the safe side
You should feed off the brains if the people who don't understand this thread, their brains have nothing in them
when I cracked open their skulls, they were empty :sad:0 -
make up has all of that and more.
There is nothing wrong with eating make up, it doesn't have chemicals in it because the slogan for my makeup is 'Natural beauty in a bottle'
'NATURAL'! Duh!
In addition a great deal of make-up consists of powders which mean they can be consumed as shakes. Make-up is probably made from whey.
ah, but how do you make the shakes without adding the deadly dihydrogen monoxide....?
Simple- the only thing you should mix your protein with is more protein0 -
make up has all of that and more.
There is nothing wrong with eating make up, it doesn't have chemicals in it because the slogan for my makeup is 'Natural beauty in a bottle'
'NATURAL'! Duh!
In addition a great deal of make-up consists of powders which mean they can be consumed as shakes. Make-up is probably made from whey.
ah, but how do you make the shakes without adding the deadly dihydrogen monoxide....?
Simple- the only thing you should mix your protein with is more protein
can I get powdered brains?0 -
I feel so duped. So naive. I thought I was living a healthy lifestyle, but until now did not realise how many food-within-a-food sandwiches were hiding in my diet.
Chicken Kiev.
BLOODY CHICKEN KIEV.
Why must SandwichCorp be so good at disguising sandwiches as other foods?0 -
I just ate a bacon sandwich and anyone who thinks that is bad can kiss my *kitten*.
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Not sure if the author of this post is a troll or just dumb. :noway:
Theoretically, if you couldn't tell, the intellectual failure might lie elsewhere.
:laugh:
i'm crying, this thread is the best thing i have ever read0 -
make up has all of that and more.
ahahaha are you kidding me right now? i can't even breathe anymore0 -
That's only the tip of the iceberg.I feel so duped. So naive. I thought I was living a healthy lifestyle, but until now did not realise how many food-within-a-food sandwiches were hiding in my diet.
Chicken Kiev.
BLOODY CHICKEN KIEV.
Why must SandwichCorp be so good at disguising sandwiches as other foods?
Ice cream cones. Ice cream cones are a food with in a food.
Damn those evil sandwich wizards!0 -
OP, you are amazing. Thank you for this.0
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Wow this has been going on since yesterday....and people are still taking it seriously! :huh:0
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I feel so duped. So naive. I thought I was living a healthy lifestyle, but until now did not realise how many food-within-a-food sandwiches were hiding in my diet.
Chicken Kiev.
BLOODY CHICKEN KIEV.
Why must SandwichCorp be so good at disguising sandwiches as other foods?
Try living in an Arab country where every other restaurant sells sheesh tawook, felafel or shawarma wrapped in bread with delicious hummus, salads, chips and deep fried aubergine. All wrapped up in delicious flatbreads..... it's all food within a food :sad:
Apparently the Arabs were eating these foods before the gambling fiend Earl of Sandwich invented his evil bready snacks.0 -
Wow this has been going on since yesterday....and people are still taking it seriously! :huh:
to be fair, there are enough genuine nut jobs and genuinely incredibly stupid people, for me to be able to understand the difficulty in spotting the difference between parody and genuine nut-job extreme stupidity.
I still haven't figured out whether Westboro baptist church are real or not.0 -
that dihydrogen monoxide is deadly stuff...0
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Actually that's true. And the number of people who talk about their periods is astonishing!! haha!Wow this has been going on since yesterday....and people are still taking it seriously! :huh:
to be fair, there are enough genuine nut jobs and genuinely incredibly stupid people, for me to be able to understand the difficulty in spotting the difference between parody and genuine nut-job extreme stupidity.
I still haven't figured out whether Westboro baptist church are real or not.0 -
Help me Mutant. You’re my only hope. I have information that leads me to believe that Big Sandwich Corp has infiltrated our educational system and is compromising our students' reading comprehension ability!
*hologram fades in and out*
Help me Mutant. You’re my only hope. I have information that leads me to believe that Big Sandwich Corp has infiltrated our educational system and is compromising our students' reading comprehension ability!
*hologram fades in and out*0 -
:huh:
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Help me Mutant. You’re my only hope. I have information that leads me to believe that Big Sandwich Corp has infiltrated our educational system and is compromising our students' reading comprehension ability!
*hologram fades in and out*
Help me Mutant. You’re my only hope. I have information that leads me to believe that Big Sandwich Corp has infiltrated our educational system and is compromising our students' reading comprehension ability!
*hologram fades in and out*
We must help this person!
I will go an put on my cool vest and get my blaster. I need a tall hairy friend to be my accomplice0 -
:huh:
Of course sandwiches are racist! SandwichCorp themselves are known benefactors of WBC.
Bill O'Reilly also works for SandwichCorp0 -
Of course PB&J are racist, but it's all down to grape or strawberry jam. Personally, I always go with purple.0
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Even so-called "brown breads" are not truly Bread of Colour. You may find the token Pumpernickel in the deli now and then, but ultimately, sandwiches are mostly about white bread suppressing dark fillings.0
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Sandwich privilege is a real thing0
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If you use Jewish Rye bread for the sandwiches you are practicing antisemitism.
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Sandwich privilege is a real thing
Its not just race it is class too. Think how oppressive the over-privileged crust cut-off sandwiches are lording it over other bread based meals. Don't even get me started on those inbred twits the little triangle sandwich at their closed shop gentleman's club morning teas.0 -
FACT: 100% of humans that eat sandwiches are either dead or will die
Seriously folks think about it........0 -
Oh Christ, I didn't think.... I read the warnings and still didn't think, I think I've been brainwashed....
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