Do not eat sandwiches

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Replies

  • BeccaBollons
    BeccaBollons Posts: 652 Member
    We've lost her
  • TxHamJello
    TxHamJello Posts: 31
    We've lost her

    Lost her? I say she is finally found!

    Sincerely,
    Sandwich Corp
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    I have managed to prevent the Sandwich Corp from infiltrating my thoughts by making myself a special hat. It's a cowboy hat, coated with tin foil, then a second coating made of the special waxy paper used to wrap burgers or shawarma wraps in before they are served to customers. I had to purchase a large quantity of burgers and shawarma wraps in order to get enough of the special paper to fully cover the hat. However the hat is fully covered and fully functional.

    In order to protect other people from the temptation of eating said snack foods enclosed in bread products, I ate them myself. Please, don't call me a hero, I did it for the greater good. And it was delici.... I mean a supreme sacrifice.

    I now must urge you all to go out and make your special hats in order to protect your brains from infiltration by Sandwich Corp. Many fast food outlets sell the kinds of bread-enclosed snacks that are wrapped in the right kind of special paper.

    This has been a public service announcement, I bid you all good day.
  • dmoppy
    dmoppy Posts: 45 Member
    Embrace the sandwich, future host. The sandwich loves you. You love the sandwich. Chthulu R'yleh Waga N'Hahl Ftagn

    Hi Mutant! I'm glad to hear you are doing well after your experiment and that sandwiches are A-OK now. This is great news! However your key board may be broken since your last sentence seems to be a random collection of letters. I'm sure it's just a coincidence they reference an ancient evil which intends to enslave mankind. Weird, right? Well anyway thanks for the SCIENCE and glad we can eat sandwhiches without a care in the world.
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    We've lost her

    Lost her? I say she is finally found!

    Sincerely,
    Sandwich Corp

    Thankyou master. SandwichCorp is a good and kind leader.
  • _errata_
    _errata_ Posts: 1,653 Member
    BIG SANDWICH IS PEOPLE!

    1341432536964.jpg
  • somerisagirlsname
    somerisagirlsname Posts: 467 Member
    bahahaha this is still a thing. Yess.
  • _errata_
    _errata_ Posts: 1,653 Member
    bahahaha this is still a thing. Yess.

    We can never let this thread die. The world must know the truth about big sandwich.
  • _errata_
    _errata_ Posts: 1,653 Member
    :: picks up phone ::

    I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid. You're afraid of us. You're afraid of change. I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I cam here to tell you how this is going to be begin. I'm going to hang up this phone. And I'm going to show them what you don't want them to see. I'm going to show them a world without you. A world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries. A world, where anything is possible.

    Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you.

    ::hangs up phone::
    ::puts on shades::
    ::queues awesome rage against the machine music::
  • _errata_
    _errata_ Posts: 1,653 Member
    The truth about Gluten that big sandwich has covered up:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLc2hDHVHgo
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    Guys I'm ok. A legion of anti sandwich extremists took me in and helped cleanse the sandwich from my system
  • RebekahR84
    RebekahR84 Posts: 794 Member
    I didn't realize this was still going. I had thought the Sandwich Corp would've disposed of you by now.
  • BerryH
    BerryH Posts: 4,698 Member
    How long should I leave it between separately eating bread, butter and potential filling to ensure I don't suffer the "stomach sandwich" effect?
  • _errata_
    _errata_ Posts: 1,653 Member
    I didn't realize this was still going. I had thought the Sandwich Corp would've disposed of you by now.

    It was a close call. They dispatched Jersey Mike to make me an offer I couldn't refuse. They almost got me.

    Almost.
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    How long should I leave it between separately eating bread, butter and potential filling to ensure I don't suffer the "stomach sandwich" effect?

    Excellent question.

    The stomach sandwich, known in scientific circles as the 'postmastication conundrum' had been shown to be combatted by 'barrier foods'
    Barrier foods are foodstuff that you consume in-between sandwich components that block a stomach sandwich from forming.

    Popular barrier foods are whisky, popcorn and starburst. Ideally you want to consume a combination of all these things
  • dmoppy
    dmoppy Posts: 45 Member
    Is anyone else seeing Jimmy John's advertisements when they view this thread? Too fun.

    ::whispers:: They are watching me. What should I do?
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    Is anyone else seeing Jimmy John's advertisements when they view this thread? Too fun.

    ::whispers:: They are watching me. What should I do?

    Google 'how to build a bomb'
    It will confuse the Internet spies
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    Is anyone else seeing Jimmy John's advertisements when they view this thread? Too fun.

    ::whispers:: They are watching me. What should I do?

    Google 'how to build a bomb'
    It will confuse the Internet spies

    And probably bring the NSA down on you too. Double win. :bigsmile:
  • TR0berts
    TR0berts Posts: 7,739 Member
    Dear All,

    This is Thom's ghost. I am sad to say that my body did, in fact, die post sammich consumption. Fortunately, my spirit has found a computer terminal here in Hell, so I may inform you of the conditions here.

    I have found several former Sandwich Corp. bigwigs here in Hell. They do nothing but walk around with freshly made Reubens, veal parm grinders, and PB & banana sandwiches, tempting the masses. At first, I thought I was in heaven. But upon trying my first Reuben here, I found that it tastes much like what I would imagine a "$h!t sandwich" would taste like.

    I only have so much time before Satan (aka John Montagu) makes his rounds and catches me on this terminal. I must be brief. REPENT! EAT NO MORE SANDWICHES! ONLY EAT.....

    Oh, here he comes!

    .....AAAAGH, NO!!!



    :your session has expired:
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    Let us remember our fallen comorade. And let us not besmirch his memory by joining Sandwich Corp gluttonous sandwich orgy. Stay pure. Stay pure for Thom
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    ...... help me..... my mind has been overtaken by the Sandwi.....


    everything's great! I'm feeling just fine! Everyone go eat a delicious sandwich!


    ..... that's not me, that's... something... possessing me..... I don't know how they do it.... but help me.....!


    mmmmmm sheesh tawook, salad, chips and deep fried aubergine, encased in a....


    .....I'm trying to break free of their.... whatever it is they're doing to my brain....


    ....delicious Lebanese flatbread with hummus spread on it. Mmmm delicious! And so healthy!


    ....h..e..l..p.......m..e.......
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    Stay with us Neander! I'll send the anti sandwich extremists your way!
  • TxHamJello
    TxHamJello Posts: 31
    How long should I leave it between separately eating bread, butter and potential filling to ensure I don't suffer the "stomach sandwich" effect?

    Excellent question.

    The stomach sandwich, known in scientific circles as the 'postmastication conundrum' had been shown to be combatted by 'barrier foods'
    Barrier foods are foodstuff that you consume in-between sandwich components that block a stomach sandwich from forming.

    Popular barrier foods are whisky, popcorn and starburst. Ideally you want to consume a combination of all these things

    YES, YES, YES . . . .first, a shot of whiskey, then put one piece of popcorn between two matchin starburst cubes . . . pop in mouth & wash down with a shot of whiskey
  • _errata_
    _errata_ Posts: 1,653 Member
    Big Sandwich just sent Jared after me. He sandwich-boarded me for hours until I finally gave in. So many meaty inches... for only 5 dollars...

    I might be wrong about Big Sandwich. Something that good can't be wrong.
  • carmenmiranda1
    carmenmiranda1 Posts: 21 Member
    http://glutenfreesingles.com/

    Do it. You know you want to.
  • _errata_
    _errata_ Posts: 1,653 Member
    http://glutenfreesingles.com/

    Do it. You know you want to.

    No ****ing way. L M A O
  • _errata_
    _errata_ Posts: 1,653 Member
    rick-rolled-o.gif
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,328 Member
    This thread was the best thing I've ever read.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    Stay with us Neander! I'll send the anti sandwich extremists your way!

    we puts the anti sandwich extremists in the slices of bread and we eats it. delicious.

    we eats the brain of the human that calls itself "neandermagnon" and puts in its place delicious sandwich making machine

    we wants speaking to Sandwich Corp human. he is not keep his promise to us. We is angry.
  • TR0berts
    TR0berts Posts: 7,739 Member
    Thom's ghost chiming in again. Got away from the guards. Thought I'd give you an update, but then I saw this nugget.
    http://glutenfreesingles.com/


    No. F'ing. Way.

    Mind (or, whatever you want to call it - spirit?) is blown. Cannot remember what I was going to say.

    If only my corporeal self had discovered this sooner, it might still be with you all today.

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