Do Not Eat Chia Seeds!!!

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Replies

  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    thats what ive been saying who wants to eat little black balls of snot death. (dont believe me soak chia seeds)


    This makes me think of honey, which my husband uses a lot and which I affectionately refer to as "bee barf."


    I thought it was bee poop

    Nope. Bee puke. They injest the nectar, fly back to the hive, and puke it up into cells. Then the hive worker bees fan their wings to dehydrate it down to about 21% water.

    MMMM best dehydrated bee emesis ever.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    I can't believe all the people here who aren't willing to accept that we don't live in the land of rainbows and ponies where the government never lies to you!

    Have you heard about these 'Chia Parties' kids are having? They all get together and try to get fertilised by the chia, there are multiple tumblr blogs dedicated to youths showing of their herb garden growth and sharing pictures of these horrible parties.

    Have you seen the trend where they try to harvest from their own bellies to smoke the plants? I was absolutely horrified!! Apparently if you ingest the seeds with other substances, you can grow custom infused plant material. Only downside really is the acids from the stomach, but you know kids these days, they'll smoke just about anything.

    If I never saw another green sprouting booty hole, I would be happy. Dang Tumblr

    dude the high from a seed party is intense. talk about naked sweaty orgies with unicorn rainbow semen its hot
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    Where are you quoting from and what are your resources?

    The stomach is too acidic to allow anything to germinate (ie herb garden). What you said is almost analogous to saying that you could grow a watermelon in your stomach after eating a watermelon seed. Very silly.

    My friend grew a watermelon in his stomach after accidentally swallowing a seed. My other friends and I had to shrink down and go inside of him (through the nose, you guys) to get it out. Unfortunately, once we found it my cousin was trying to actively cultivate it! It had even started to sprout! We had to tickle his splanchnic ganglion to get him to fully expel it. ... Close call.

    I hope you got it before this happened!

    vAmmM1G.jpg

    This looks exactly like my niece's baby pictures!

    Ruh roh! :noway:
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    Lol this reminds me of that commercial with the lady who says, "they wouldn't put it on the Internet if it wasn't true." And the guy asks, "where did you hear that?" And she replies, "the Internet."
  • frankiep73
    frankiep73 Posts: 40 Member
    The FDA website is a victim of the government shutdown, so how can they have concluded in the last week?
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
    I can't believe all the people here who aren't willing to accept that we don't live in the land of rainbows and ponies where the government never lies to you!

    Have you heard about these 'Chia Parties' kids are having? They all get together and try to get fertilised by the chia, there are multiple tumblr blogs dedicated to youths showing of their herb garden growth and sharing pictures of these horrible parties.

    Have you seen the trend where they try to harvest from their own bellies to smoke the plants? I was absolutely horrified!! Apparently if you ingest the seeds with other substances, you can grow custom infused plant material. Only downside really is the acids from the stomach, but you know kids these days, they'll smoke just about anything.

    If I never saw another green sprouting booty hole, I would be happy. Dang Tumblr

    dude the high from a seed party is intense. talk about naked sweaty orgies with unicorn rainbow semen its hot

    Don't talk like that, you'll turn me into a seeder
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    I can't believe all the people here who aren't willing to accept that we don't live in the land of rainbows and ponies where the government never lies to you!

    Have you heard about these 'Chia Parties' kids are having? They all get together and try to get fertilised by the chia, there are multiple tumblr blogs dedicated to youths showing of their herb garden growth and sharing pictures of these horrible parties.

    I thought everyone knew you couldn't have things germinate past the acidity of the stomach, the govt doesn't need to tell you that. lmao.

    The food pyramid is bunk though.

    Omg, this thread will not die. ::yawn::

    No the food pyramid is brought to us from the Aliens the same aliens who taught the Egyptians how to build pyramids. Coincidence I think not. See they needed a strong slave force to build the pyramids so the Aliens gave them the key to feed the slaves which became the food pyramid.
  • ryry_
    ryry_ Posts: 4,966 Member
    I ate chia seeds once and I grew a green jheri curl
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
    The FDA website is a victim of the government shutdown, so how can they have concluded in the last week?

    Maybe they didn't? It just says earlier this week, I didn't check the date on the article, I was just so eager to share it!
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
    I can't believe all the people here who aren't willing to accept that we don't live in the land of rainbows and ponies where the government never lies to you!

    Have you heard about these 'Chia Parties' kids are having? They all get together and try to get fertilised by the chia, there are multiple tumblr blogs dedicated to youths showing of their herb garden growth and sharing pictures of these horrible parties.

    I thought everyone knew you couldn't have things germinate past the acidity of the stomach, the govt doesn't need to tell you that. lmao.

    The food pyramid is bunk though.

    Omg, this thread will not die. ::yawn::

    No the food pyramid is brought to us from the Aliens the same aliens who taught the Egyptians how to build pyramids. Coincidence I think not. See they needed a strong slave force to build the pyramids so the Aliens gave them the key to feed the slaves which became the food pyramid.

    I bet this was one of the original usages of Chia!! Feed the slaves Chia so they'd stop asking for food and water. That's how it works!
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    The FDA website is a victim of the government shutdown, so how can they have concluded in the last week?

    maybe it's not really shut down? How convenient they can continue on their chia research with secret funding
  • FancyPantsFran
    FancyPantsFran Posts: 3,687 Member
    Where are you quoting from and what are your resources?

    The stomach is too acidic to allow anything to germinate (ie herb garden). What you said is almost analogous to saying that you could grow a watermelon in your stomach after eating a watermelon seed. Very silly.

    My friend grew a watermelon in his stomach after accidentally swallowing a seed. My other friends and I had to shrink down and go inside of him (through the nose, you guys) to get it out. Unfortunately, once we found it my cousin was trying to actively cultivate it! It had even started to sprout! We had to tickle his splanchnic ganglion to get him to fully expel it. ... Close call.

    I hope you got it before this happened!

    vAmmM1G.jpg

    HAHAHAHAH
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    I can't believe all the people here who aren't willing to accept that we don't live in the land of rainbows and ponies where the government never lies to you!

    Have you heard about these 'Chia Parties' kids are having? They all get together and try to get fertilised by the chia, there are multiple tumblr blogs dedicated to youths showing of their herb garden growth and sharing pictures of these horrible parties.

    I thought everyone knew you couldn't have things germinate past the acidity of the stomach, the govt doesn't need to tell you that. lmao.

    The food pyramid is bunk though.

    Omg, this thread will not die. ::yawn::

    No the food pyramid is brought to us from the Aliens the same aliens who taught the Egyptians how to build pyramids. Coincidence I think not. See they needed a strong slave force to build the pyramids so the Aliens gave them the key to feed the slaves which became the food pyramid.

    I bet this was one of the original usages of Chia!! Feed the slaves Chia so they'd stop asking for food and water. That's how it works!

    you are onto something how did the Mayans and Aztecs build such large temples? Forced chia labor!
  • RivenV
    RivenV Posts: 1,667 Member
    Where are you quoting from and what are your resources?

    The stomach is too acidic to allow anything to germinate (ie herb garden). What you said is almost analogous to saying that you could grow a watermelon in your stomach after eating a watermelon seed. Very silly.

    My friend grew a watermelon in his stomach after accidentally swallowing a seed. My other friends and I had to shrink down and go inside of him (through the nose, you guys) to get it out. Unfortunately, once we found it my cousin was trying to actively cultivate it! It had even started to sprout! We had to tickle his splanchnic ganglion to get him to fully expel it. ... Close call.

    I hope you got it before this happened!

    vAmmM1G.jpg

    Watermelon-ception...
    337.gif
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
    I can't believe all the people here who aren't willing to accept that we don't live in the land of rainbows and ponies where the government never lies to you!

    Have you heard about these 'Chia Parties' kids are having? They all get together and try to get fertilised by the chia, there are multiple tumblr blogs dedicated to youths showing of their herb garden growth and sharing pictures of these horrible parties.

    I thought everyone knew you couldn't have things germinate past the acidity of the stomach, the govt doesn't need to tell you that. lmao.

    The food pyramid is bunk though.

    Omg, this thread will not die. ::yawn::

    No the food pyramid is brought to us from the Aliens the same aliens who taught the Egyptians how to build pyramids. Coincidence I think not. See they needed a strong slave force to build the pyramids so the Aliens gave them the key to feed the slaves which became the food pyramid.

    I bet this was one of the original usages of Chia!! Feed the slaves Chia so they'd stop asking for food and water. That's how it works!

    you are onto something how did the Mayans and Aztecs build such large temples? Forced chia labor!

    TOTES! Oh man I think I just found the subject of my dissertation!
  • saschka7
    saschka7 Posts: 577 Member
    I cannot imagine how seriously desperate for attention someone would have to be to resort to fake satire-iffic scaremongering just to get a reaction out of people.
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
    Troll level: failure. I award you no points.
  • ryry_
    ryry_ Posts: 4,966 Member
    I cannot imagine how seriously desperate for attention someone would have to be to resort to fake satire-iffic scaremongering just to get a reaction out of people.

    About as bored as the one who takes the time to read and respond to it. You need to spend some time in the dreamatorium. Your imagination is underperforming.
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
    I cannot imagine how seriously desperate for attention someone would have to be to resort to fake satire-iffic scaremongering just to get a reaction out of people.

    I'm sorry you have a problem with the sharing of some information and communal engagement modeled after the sharing of other users today.

    If you don't want to keep things genuine, you don't have to, but don't harsh my vibe!
  • bethlaf
    bethlaf Posts: 954 Member
    if you eat tiny scissors, like these
    chocolate%20scissors%20lrg.jpg
    it will trim the chia garden inside your intestines, then you will be fine
  • saschka7
    saschka7 Posts: 577 Member
    I cannot imagine how seriously desperate for attention someone would have to be to resort to fake satire-iffic scaremongering just to get a reaction out of people.

    About as bored as the one who takes the time to read and respond to it. You need to spend some time in the dreamatorium. Your imagination is underperforming.

    No, bored is one thing: desperate for attention is another.
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
    I cannot imagine how seriously desperate for attention someone would have to be to resort to fake satire-iffic scaremongering just to get a reaction out of people.

    About as bored as the one who takes the time to read and respond to it. You need to spend some time in the dreamatorium. Your imagination is underperforming.

    No, bored is one thing: desperate for attention is another.

    He was, indeed, saying YOU were bored... and then you said you're desperate for attention... Interesting turn of thread.
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
    if you eat tiny scissors, like these
    chocolate%20scissors%20lrg.jpg
    it will trim the chia garden inside your intestines, then you will be fine

    Do you suppose that's how the kids harvest their herbs? Like, tie those to a string and pull out clumps? Hmmm
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    I cannot imagine how seriously desperate for attention someone would have to be to resort to fake satire-iffic scaremongering just to get a reaction out of people.

    About as bored as the one who takes the time to read and respond to it. You need to spend some time in the dreamatorium. Your imagination is underperforming.

    :heart:
  • MrsFowler1069
    MrsFowler1069 Posts: 657 Member
    Funny, the only side effects from Chia seeds I've had are lack of appetite, therefore making my butt skinnier.


    I believe it! It's a fad borne of conspiracy. You just proved it in your post. Re-read the original post; one of the side effects is "extended periods of satiation."

    I, for one, do NOT want an herb garden growing in my stomach. You can have them!
  • saschka7
    saschka7 Posts: 577 Member
    I cannot imagine how seriously desperate for attention someone would have to be to resort to fake satire-iffic scaremongering just to get a reaction out of people.

    About as bored as the one who takes the time to read and respond to it. You need to spend some time in the dreamatorium. Your imagination is underperforming.

    No, bored is one thing: desperate for attention is another.

    He was, indeed, saying YOU were bored... and then you said you're desperate for attention... Interesting turn of thread.

    I disagree. I am bored: you seem desperate for attention. I'm sorry I even wasted time on this thread. It's 10 minutes of my life I'll never get back. I don't dig trolls who deliberately bait and taunt people. Hope you enjoy everyone else's responses. I'm out..
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
    I cannot imagine how seriously desperate for attention someone would have to be to resort to fake satire-iffic scaremongering just to get a reaction out of people.

    About as bored as the one who takes the time to read and respond to it. You need to spend some time in the dreamatorium. Your imagination is underperforming.

    No, bored is one thing: desperate for attention is another.

    He was, indeed, saying YOU were bored... and then you said you're desperate for attention... Interesting turn of thread.

    I disagree. I am bored: you seem desperate for attention. I'm sorry I even wasted time on this thread. It's 10 minutes of my life I'll never get back. I don't dig trolls who deliberately bait and taunt people. Hope you enjoy everyone else's responses. I'm out..

    Only desperate for attention to the cause! Chia Chia mama mia!
  • VelvetMorning
    VelvetMorning Posts: 398 Member
    Post on the forums with a thread that's obviously a joke and someone happens to not get that means you are DESPERATE FOR ATTENTION.

    "Why did the blind blonde cross the road?"
    "She was following her chicken."

    I AM DESPERATE FOR ATTENTION.
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    I cannot imagine how seriously desperate for attention someone would have to be to resort to fake satire-iffic scaremongering just to get a reaction out of people.

    About as bored as the one who takes the time to read and respond to it. You need to spend some time in the dreamatorium. Your imagination is underperforming.

    No, bored is one thing: desperate for attention is another.

    He was, indeed, saying YOU were bored... and then you said you're desperate for attention... Interesting turn of thread.

    I disagree. I am bored: you seem desperate for attention. I'm sorry I even wasted time on this thread. It's 10 minutes of my life I'll never get back. I don't dig trolls who deliberately bait and taunt people. Hope you enjoy everyone else's responses. I'm out..

    This person is obviously on the chia
  • BeccaBollons
    BeccaBollons Posts: 652 Member
    Well it is common advice on mfp not to eat things one cannot pronounce. I have never heard anyone say "chia" so as long as no one tells me how to pronounce it you can bet I'll be staying away from these seeds of evil.

    Now, I'm off to make a sandwich. Catcha later :)
This discussion has been closed.