Why is this even remotely controversial?

1161719212240

Replies

  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    I never met any obese people who have excuses. we dont need to explain ourselves to any of you. We don't owe you anything.

    My sarcasmometer didn't go off on this one...

    ...which means either you're serious...

    ...or I need to have this usually remarkably accurate piece of expensive machinery recalibrated.

    Which is it?

    She is exceptionally serious. I bumped into her earlier this week. Im still trying to explain the interaction to my brain - she doesnt get it yet.

    So that means that she has truly never met an obese person with excuses??? I have.

    Full disclosure: I've also met plenty of not-obese people with excuses too, so I don't want it to seem like I'm singling anyone out unfairly...but to say with a straight face that she (or anyone, really) has *never* met any obese people who have excuses is mind-boggling. It defies all...uh, all things that shouldn't be defied.

    she says obese people are only obese for actual reasons.

    Wow.

    That is...

    ...bold.

    I disagree with your word choice.

    I would say it is ludacris.

    I was going for understatement...

    ...but I have no issue with your interpretation.

    You missed the joke in the first thread. :P

    True. I skipped from OP to page 16 and just assumed the missing parts based on where the thread had gone. The obvious downside of this approach is losing continuity of some of the inside jokes. The upside is 20+ minutes of my life that I don't forever lose (that could be better spent, well, you know, being awesome).
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    5659a361bc782ff9e9c8098b388224c5.jpg

    You can tell that the wheelchair makes the handstand easier.

    It is clearly a lie. They dont even make upside down wheelchair ramps.
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
    Achyra - what the hell is on your ticker? Are those cookies? LOL
    I think those are her Nutella brownies... :love: I still haven't tried making them yet.

    Yep, nutella brownies with some chocolate chips mixed in (Cause that's how I do things.)
  • nmpoli
    nmpoli Posts: 17 Member
    5659a361bc782ff9e9c8098b388224c5.jpg

    You can tell that the wheelchair makes the handstand easier.

    It is clearly a lie. They dont even make upside down wheelchair ramps.


    He probably did handstands full time before he was in a wheel chair. I don't appreciate him telling me to do handstands. It's my goal NOT to do handstands. I'M SO TIRED OF BEING PERSECUTED AS A NON-HANDSTANDER.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    I never met any obese people who have excuses. we dont need to explain ourselves to any of you. We don't owe you anything.

    My sarcasmometer didn't go off on this one...

    ...which means either you're serious...

    ...or I need to have this usually remarkably accurate piece of expensive machinery recalibrated.

    Which is it?

    She is exceptionally serious. I bumped into her earlier this week. Im still trying to explain the interaction to my brain - she doesnt get it yet.

    So that means that she has truly never met an obese person with excuses??? I have.

    Full disclosure: I've also met plenty of not-obese people with excuses too, so I don't want it to seem like I'm singling anyone out unfairly...but to say with a straight face that she (or anyone, really) has *never* met any obese people who have excuses is mind-boggling. It defies all...uh, all things that shouldn't be defied.

    she says obese people are only obese for actual reasons.

    I am obese because I was a fatty who didn't want to stop drinking 2L of Mountain Dew or get off *kitten* and go to the gym. I kept saying "maybe next week" and kept making excuses to put it off.

    sounds medical
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
    5659a361bc782ff9e9c8098b388224c5.jpg

    You can tell that the wheelchair makes the handstand easier.

    It is clearly a lie. They dont even make upside down wheelchair ramps.


    He probably did handstands full time before he was in a wheel chair. I don't appreciate him telling me to do handstands. It's my goal NOT to do handstands. I'M SO TIRED OF BEING PERSECUTED AS A NON-HANDSTANDER.
    you're just jealous.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    I never met any obese people who have excuses. we dont need to explain ourselves to any of you. We don't owe you anything.

    My sarcasmometer didn't go off on this one...

    ...which means either you're serious...

    ...or I need to have this usually remarkably accurate piece of expensive machinery recalibrated.

    Which is it?

    She is exceptionally serious. I bumped into her earlier this week. Im still trying to explain the interaction to my brain - she doesnt get it yet.

    Yoovie why would you subject your brain to that kind of interaction in the first place. I for one feel sorry for your grey matter!

    she sneak attacked me! She totally threw me to mob as someone who has no right to talk about being overweight cause Im not anymore.

    So by extension, this means that you (and anyone else who was once overweight but are no longer) have managed to cure an actual condition (and didn't just sack up and make it happen)...

    ...so, uh, congratulations on overcoming your medical affliction...I guess.


    Edit: because "affliction" is more appropriate than "diagnosis".

    I followed my physical therapy regimen to lose the fat growing on me. It's almost all the way gone. Pretty cool. So glad for science. Complicated stuff though. I had to like... move a lot. ugh.

    dont tell anyone but i think im addicted to the medication.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    I never met any obese people who have excuses. we dont need to explain ourselves to any of you. We don't owe you anything.

    My sarcasmometer didn't go off on this one...

    ...which means either you're serious...

    ...or I need to have this usually remarkably accurate piece of expensive machinery recalibrated.

    Which is it?

    She is exceptionally serious. I bumped into her earlier this week. Im still trying to explain the interaction to my brain - she doesnt get it yet.

    So that means that she has truly never met an obese person with excuses??? I have.

    Full disclosure: I've also met plenty of not-obese people with excuses too, so I don't want it to seem like I'm singling anyone out unfairly...but to say with a straight face that she (or anyone, really) has *never* met any obese people who have excuses is mind-boggling. It defies all...uh, all things that shouldn't be defied.

    she says obese people are only obese for actual reasons.

    is overeating an actual reason?

    No. Its all for medical and mental reasons.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    5659a361bc782ff9e9c8098b388224c5.jpg

    You can tell that the wheelchair makes the handstand easier.

    cheating, center of gravity, throws flag
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    -snip pic-

    You can tell that the wheelchair makes the handstand easier.

    It is clearly a lie. They dont even make upside down wheelchair ramps.


    He probably did handstands full time before he was in a wheel chair. I don't appreciate him telling me to do handstands. It's my goal NOT to do handstands. I'M SO TIRED OF BEING PERSECUTED AS A NON-HANDSTANDER.

    How many handstands was he doing before the wheelchair? what program was it? Maybe if I understood his personal history with handstands, i could see this from his point of view. But he has no right to tell me that I HAVE to be able to do that - much less WANT to do it.

    so tired of these pushy people, too.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    I never met any obese people who have excuses. we dont need to explain ourselves to any of you. We don't owe you anything.

    My sarcasmometer didn't go off on this one...

    ...which means either you're serious...

    ...or I need to have this usually remarkably accurate piece of expensive machinery recalibrated.

    Which is it?

    She is exceptionally serious. I bumped into her earlier this week. Im still trying to explain the interaction to my brain - she doesnt get it yet.

    So that means that she has truly never met an obese person with excuses??? I have.

    Full disclosure: I've also met plenty of not-obese people with excuses too, so I don't want it to seem like I'm singling anyone out unfairly...but to say with a straight face that she (or anyone, really) has *never* met any obese people who have excuses is mind-boggling. It defies all...uh, all things that shouldn't be defied.

    she says obese people are only obese for actual reasons.

    I am obese because I was a fatty who didn't want to stop drinking 2L of Mountain Dew or get off *kitten* and go to the gym. I kept saying "maybe next week" and kept making excuses to put it off.

    sounds medical

    Thigh roid
  • Ed98043
    Ed98043 Posts: 1,333 Member
    Had she chosen some different words other than the very judgmental "What's your excuse?", there wouldn't be a problem. I can't think of a conversation in any situation where that question wouldn't be considered a sarcastic attack and be met with some defensiveness and maybe outright hostility.

    "I have ______ and you don't. What's YOUR excuse?"

    Let's all try that on someone today and see how it goes.
  • gmallan
    gmallan Posts: 2,099 Member
    The people who see this as having a go at them rather than a celebration of the woman's ability to juggle 3 kids and keep up with her fitness are probably transfering their own negative thoughts about themselves, their body and their fitness level to this woman. I find that if you feel negatively about the way you look you are far more likely to percieve (often innocent) third parties as having negative thoughts about you. When in reality you have no idea what they are thinking. Kind of like the people who pop up on here all the time saying that they are scared to go to the gym because everyone is judging them.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    Had she chosen some different words other than the very judgmental "What's your excuse?", there wouldn't be a problem. I can't think of a conversation in any situation where that question wouldn't be considered a sarcastic attack and be met with some defensiveness and maybe outright hostility.

    "I have ______ and you don't. What's YOUR excuse?"

    Let's all try that on someone today and see how it goes.

    Perception is the paintbrush you use to color your world.

    you have some pretty bitter aggressive colors on your palette. Just hoping you dont mean this.
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
    Had she chosen some different words other than the very judgmental "What's your excuse?", there wouldn't be a problem. I can't think of a conversation in any situation where that question wouldn't be considered a sarcastic attack and be met with some defensiveness and maybe outright hostility.

    "I have ______ and you don't. What's YOUR excuse?"

    Let's all try that on someone today and see how it goes.

    I have a pus filled infected hole in my foot and I'm not allowed to put more than my own body weight on it for at least another week, and you don't. What's YOUR excuse?

    Hmm. Oddly enough I don't think anyone would feel very attacked.

    Seems like a perception issue.
  • mariposa224
    mariposa224 Posts: 1,241 Member
    So, to sum it all up

    Fit mom is fit, doesn't use children, work, or disabled husband as excuse.

    Other mommies/fatties (Yeah, I said fatties) get mad and pull out a whole lot of reasons to discredit said fit mom

    She must not have gained any real weight while preggo. She must have nannies/help. She must be neglecting her kids. She must be lying about he amount of work she puts in. She's victimizing women. She's trying to tell me I have to look like her! Well after I had MY baby I couldn't have thisthatandthethird.

    And it all boils down to even in a thread where someone is saying "Don't make excuses, just do!" people are still making excuses.

    Did I miss anything?
    That's a pretty accurate summation. I think I read the vast majority of the original thread, other than a few intermittent tl;dr posts. Sorry to say I didn't contribute, but did receive quite a bit of entertainment for my afternoon.

    Oh, and FTR, I wasn't offended in the least by the picture, nor did I feel that she was telling anyone that they needed to look like her; but that they should stop making/finding excuses to be the best version of themselves they could be, as I believe yoovie put it.
  • nmpoli
    nmpoli Posts: 17 Member
    also can I just throw in the attitude that her results aren't "possible for everyone" This.. THIS is why we're fat. and in debt. and in crappy relationships. and in crappy jobs.



    I should probably leave this thread before I ragestroke.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    also can I just throw in the attitude that her results aren't "possible for everyone" This.. THIS is why we're fat. and in debt. and in crappy relationships. and in crappy jobs.



    I should probably leave this thread before I ragestroke.

    Three solid posts so far. I like you.
  • kyleekay10
    kyleekay10 Posts: 1,812 Member
    I haven't read the entire thread yet (still on part 1) but I wanted to say this:

    Reading through all the replies makes me wonder how differently some MFPers would feel if this was a member's success story. If this woman used MFP and posted that photo under the "Success Stories", I'm willing to bet NO ONE would have a negative thing to say. It would be all smiles, "way to go's", and "you are such an inspiration!"

    Just an interesting thought I had.

    Carry on.
  • Ed98043
    Ed98043 Posts: 1,333 Member
    Had she chosen some different words other than the very judgmental "What's your excuse?", there wouldn't be a problem. I can't think of a conversation in any situation where that question wouldn't be considered a sarcastic attack and be met with some defensiveness and maybe outright hostility.

    "I have ______ and you don't. What's YOUR excuse?"

    Let's all try that on someone today and see how it goes.

    Perception is the paintbrush you use to color your world.

    you have some pretty bitter aggressive colors on your palette. Just hoping you dont mean this.

    I'm just more perceptive than you. What's your excuse?
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    I haven't read the entire thread yet (still on part 1) but I wanted to say this:

    Reading through all the replies makes me wonder how differently some MFPers would feel if this was a member's success story. If this woman used MFP and posted that photo under the "Success Stories", I'm willing to bet NO ONE would have a negative thing to say. It would be all smiles, "way to go's", and "you are such an inspiration!"

    Just an interesting thought I had.

    Carry on.

    Because we are all here for the same thing
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,021 Member
    Since I'm a trainer by trade, I can emphatically say that I've had lots of people (including clients) give me several reasons on why they can't get themselves in the physical fitness they'd like. Some are legit, some aren't.
    Let me just state this: barring any health issue or disability (which sometimes can still be overcome), people are where they are now because they choose to be. No one is forcing them to make this choice, it's a choice they are content with. If one isn't happy with how they are physically, then the reality is that they need to get up off their *kitten* and do something about it. And it won't take years to do if the commitment is there. Is it simple? Yes. Is it easy? It depends on the person's view of hard and easy. Point is that NO ONE who is fit did it by sitting by and hoping it may happen.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • TheSlorax
    TheSlorax Posts: 2,401 Member
    also can I just throw in the attitude that her results aren't "possible for everyone" This.. THIS is why we're fat. and in debt. and in crappy relationships. and in crappy jobs.



    I should probably leave this thread before I ragestroke.

    I like this. negativity is a fast track to settling for mediocre.
  • danofthedead1979
    danofthedead1979 Posts: 362 Member
    So, to sum it all up

    Fit mom is fit, doesn't use children, work, or disabled husband as excuse.

    Other mommies/fatties (Yeah, I said fatties) get mad and pull out a whole lot of reasons to discredit said fit mom

    She must not have gained any real weight while preggo. She must have nannies/help. She must be neglecting her kids. She must be lying about he amount of work she puts in. She's victimizing women. She's trying to tell me I have to look like her! Well after I had MY baby I couldn't have thisthatandthethird.

    And it all boils down to even in a thread where someone is saying "Don't make excuses, just do!" people are still making excuses.

    Did I miss anything?

    The question then becomes, WHO exactly was she targeting? The obese? The slightly overweight? The person with 5 pounds to lose? Should someone who is only a few pounds overweight be subjected to scrutiny?

    Additionally, if "fit mom" is going to put herself in the public eye with a statement (photo) like that, she should have skin thick enough to endure the court of public opinion, which tends to execute anyone with even the slightest hint of self righteousness, regardless of intent.

    It almost seems like a well executed publicity stunt.

    fair point....
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
    Just as an aside, she posted an update on her Facebook page:

    'Maria Kang

    I know some of you have seen the news and the motherhood/weight/bully/fat-shaming debate is on a roll. For those who have supported me and follow my site and this page I want to say THANK YOU. You know who I am. You know I have stretchmarks. I have excess skin. I get depressed. I'm often overwhelmed and I'm not always motivated to eat healthy and exercise. But, I do it. I may splurge on chocolate or miss a workout - but I never stop, I never quit, and I never stop striving. I am a real mom, with real obligations and this is a real picture of me - excess skin at all - saying YOU are beautiful. Motherhood is beautiful. AND it can make you better!'

    1375109_659943487369943_2009820870_n.jpg
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Just as an aside, she posted an update on her Facebook page:

    'Maria Kang

    I know some of you have seen the news and the motherhood/weight/bully/fat-shaming debate is on a roll. For those who have supported me and follow my site and this page I want to say THANK YOU. You know who I am. You know I have stretchmarks. I have excess skin. I get depressed. I'm often overwhelmed and I'm not always motivated to eat healthy and exercise. But, I do it. I may splurge on chocolate or miss a workout - but I never stop, I never quit, and I never stop striving. I am a real mom, with real obligations and this is a real picture of me - excess skin at all - saying YOU are beautiful. Motherhood is beautiful. AND it can make you better!'

    1375109_659943487369943_2009820870_n.jpg

    Showing her mommy tummy! Good for her!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,021 Member
    Just as an aside, she posted an update on her Facebook page:

    'Maria Kang

    I know some of you have seen the news and the motherhood/weight/bully/fat-shaming debate is on a roll. For those who have supported me and follow my site and this page I want to say THANK YOU. You know who I am. You know I have stretchmarks. I have excess skin. I get depressed. I'm often overwhelmed and I'm not always motivated to eat healthy and exercise. But, I do it. I may splurge on chocolate or miss a workout - but I never stop, I never quit, and I never stop striving. I am a real mom, with real obligations and this is a real picture of me - excess skin at all - saying YOU are beautiful. Motherhood is beautiful. AND it can make you better!'

    1375109_659943487369943_2009820870_n.jpg
    Now we just have to wait for the haters to say that her stretch marks are extra skin are nothing compared to theirs.:laugh:

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • ElizaKat001
    ElizaKat001 Posts: 28 Member
    This is my take – agree with me or don’t.

    I think this would have been a perfectly appropriate post if the caption had been something positive and encouraging. Saying “hey look, I’m a mom of 3 who also works, and I was able to focus on this awesome goal and make it happen!” is totally okay. What’s not okay, in my opinion, is the judgmental “What’s Your Excuse?” It’s essentially telling other women, “I’m better than you because I have achieved something that you haven’t.”

    What if another mom posted a picture of their 3 graduate degrees or their corner office or their bestselling novel and used that same caption? It would be rude, right?

    If having that body is a major life goal for her, than I really am happy for her that she’s accomplished it. But that fact is, looking like that isn't the only worthy goal. People have different priorities and want different things from their lives, and I feel that it’s condescending to tell people that they should want what you have. Nobody can be perfect at everything. I’m sure this woman has areas in her life that’s she’s not 100% kicking *kitten* at, and I’m sure she doesn’t want them pointed out to her.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member

    What if another mom posted a picture of their 3 graduate degrees or their corner office or their bestselling novel and used that same caption? It would be rude, right?

    Bwahahahahaha I just had an image of hillary clinton with that caption over her head
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    This is my take – agree with me or don’t.

    I think this would have been a perfectly appropriate post if the caption had been something positive and encouraging. Saying “hey look, I’m a mom of 3 who also works, and I was able to focus on this awesome goal and make it happen!” is totally okay. What’s not okay, in my opinion, is the judgmental “What’s Your Excuse?” It’s essentially telling other women, “I’m better than you because I have achieved something that you haven’t.”

    What if another mom posted a picture of their 3 graduate degrees or their corner office or their bestselling novel and used that same caption? It would be rude, right?

    If having that body is a major life goal for her, than I really am happy for her that she’s accomplished it. But that fact is, looking like that isn't the only worthy goal. People have different priorities and want different things from their lives, and I feel that it’s condescending to tell people that they should want what you have. Nobody can be perfect at everything. I’m sure this woman has areas in her life that’s she’s not 100% kicking *kitten* at, and I’m sure she doesn’t want them pointed out to her.

    Isnt that true?