Why is this even remotely controversial?
Replies
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also can I just throw in the attitude that her results aren't "possible for everyone" This.. THIS is why we're fat. and in debt. and in crappy relationships. and in crappy jobs.
I should probably leave this thread before I ragestroke.
Three solid posts so far. I like you.
She waited two long years before jumping into the forums...
...so there's probably a lot of rage and/or awesome built up. Go ahead, let it out.0 -
This is my take – agree with me or don’t.
I think this would have been a perfectly appropriate post if the caption had been something positive and encouraging. Saying “hey look, I’m a mom of 3 who also works, and I was able to focus on this awesome goal and make it happen!” is totally okay. What’s not okay, in my opinion, is the judgmental “What’s Your Excuse?” It’s essentially telling other women, “I’m better than you because I have achieved something that you haven’t.”
What if another mom posted a picture of their 3 graduate degrees or their corner office or their bestselling novel and used that same caption? It would be rude, right?
If having that body is a major life goal for her, than I really am happy for her that she’s accomplished it. But that fact is, looking like that isn't the only worthy goal. People have different priorities and want different things from their lives, and I feel that it’s condescending to tell people that they should want what you have. Nobody can be perfect at everything. I’m sure this woman has areas in her life that’s she’s not 100% kicking *kitten* at, and I’m sure she doesn’t want them pointed out to her.
I have a goal to better my health and to have a body I can live in and with for many years to come but I also have other goals. maybe what I took from that picture is that I do not have valid excuses keeping me back from improving my health and body, but that they also can't stop me from my goals of traveling, owning a home, finishing my degree, etc. you are right in that her goal is not necessarily the same as everyone's, but that doesn't mean she is only promoting having a body like hers. I would find it equally empowering if she was someone who came from complete destitution and had a picture of herself with a doctorate. belittling someone's goals because YOU find them trivial is not cool.0 -
This being controversial is actually pretty funny to me. Stop using the fact that you had children as the reason you gained weight. I actually wish I could get pregnant again because having a baby helps me to lose, I tend to eat less and become more active because I have a little one to take care of and no time to eat unless I am truly hungry. This woman looks amazing and no doubt she worked her *kitten* off to keep her body in shape and healthy! She isn't saying every woman should look like her, but it says that even a mother can stay active and healthy.
LOLWUT?0 -
Just as an aside, she posted an update on her Facebook page:
'Maria Kang
I know some of you have seen the news and the motherhood/weight/bully/fat-shaming debate is on a roll. For those who have supported me and follow my site and this page I want to say THANK YOU. You know who I am. You know I have stretchmarks. I have excess skin. I get depressed. I'm often overwhelmed and I'm not always motivated to eat healthy and exercise. But, I do it. I may splurge on chocolate or miss a workout - but I never stop, I never quit, and I never stop striving. I am a real mom, with real obligations and this is a real picture of me - excess skin at all - saying YOU are beautiful. Motherhood is beautiful. AND it can make you better!'
I was just going to post this. I have her on my Facebook and I think she is fabulous.0 -
Here is my take.
I am British, I moved to the US in 1999. One of the most insane cultural differences is that many Americans seem to lack personal responsibility. At least compared to the my friends and family back home.
The 'not my fault' and 'blame anyone and everyone, except me' seemed was initially really hilarious.
If an American crashes there car, it is nothing to do with their lack of skills, it is always for a reason that is tantalizingly just outside of their control. The errant dog, the poor signposts, the low sun, the inexplicable unintended acceleration. It has nothing to do with a lack of attention, or pedal confusion.
The reason I am overweight is simple. I eat more than I burn. I do not quite care about my shape quite enough to really push myself as often as I should. Or maybe I should slow down the shoveling of tasty unhealthy food into my mouth.
Either way, it is 100% my fault that I am overweight.
Eat too much ?
Exercise too little ?
It is nothing at all to do with how tasty junk food it, or even how Starbucks ask if I want 'room for cream' and only give me 3/4 of a cup.
It is my inability to curb my consumption, or increase my burn.
Many Americans seem eager to apply the same false logic to their bodies. Its not my fault I am fat, it is McDonalds and their cheap and tasty food. It is not my fault that I waddle, I have a medical condition (yeah, you are morbidly obese because you eat so much).
This woman is amazing, she has womaned up and got into better shape than many can dream of in a really impressively short period.
There should be do controversy, those that know, deep down, that they are making excuses need to simply gaze in awe at what can be achieved by admitting that you are blame-shifting and getting off your lardy *kitten* and burning more than you eat.....0 -
This being controversial is actually pretty funny to me. Stop using the fact that you had children as the reason you gained weight. I actually wish I could get pregnant again because having a baby helps me to lose, I tend to eat less and become more active because I have a little one to take care of and no time to eat unless I am truly hungry. This woman looks amazing and no doubt she worked her *kitten* off to keep her body in shape and healthy! She isn't saying every woman should look like her, but it says that even a mother can stay active and healthy.
LOLWUT?
But being pregnant IS the reason I gained weight... :huh:0 -
This is my take – agree with me or don’t.
I think this would have been a perfectly appropriate post if the caption had been something positive and encouraging. Saying “hey look, I’m a mom of 3 who also works, and I was able to focus on this awesome goal and make it happen!” is totally okay. What’s not okay, in my opinion, is the judgmental “What’s Your Excuse?” It’s essentially telling other women, “I’m better than you because I have achieved something that you haven’t.”
What if another mom posted a picture of their 3 graduate degrees or their corner office or their bestselling novel and used that same caption? It would be rude, right?
If having that body is a major life goal for her, than I really am happy for her that she’s accomplished it. But that fact is, looking like that isn't the only worthy goal. People have different priorities and want different things from their lives, and I feel that it’s condescending to tell people that they should want what you have. Nobody can be perfect at everything. I’m sure this woman has areas in her life that’s she’s not 100% kicking *kitten* at, and I’m sure she doesn’t want them pointed out to her.
i was on the fence on this, but i actually agree with the above. 'Whats your excuse?' is not only incredibly presumptious on a few levels, but incredibly confrontational. Maybe its good for business to cause a bit of a stir. You could argue that the wording was deliberate to get a spiky response, maybe a cynical stunt. But i'm not presuming anything, because i don't know her.
maybe, her ad shouldn't be making presumptions either.......0 -
The pic is not just on MFP, is it? Likewise I was not aiming for anyone here in particular.
Big package being something you can't change as it's what nature gave you - same as her nice face and figure.0 -
I just turned on the radio and this is being discussed.
People are saying she is neglectful to her children. Lawl.
People are ridiculous. A woman takes some time for herself and she's neglecting her children? :grumble:
Yeah, you know how much "time" it took for me to get back into fighting shape after my first kid? 3 classes one hour a week at my college where I got college units credit for it as PE anyways. It was an aerobics class. Then when I transferred to the university I signed up for swimming and still got GE credit for it. WINNING!
.oO(The schools didn't seem to think it was neglectful to do these kinds of things with a child as they were the one's babysitting for me at the time?)0 -
Just as an aside, she posted an update on her Facebook page:
'Maria Kang
I know some of you have seen the news and the motherhood/weight/bully/fat-shaming debate is on a roll. For those who have supported me and follow my site and this page I want to say THANK YOU. You know who I am. You know I have stretchmarks. I have excess skin. I get depressed. I'm often overwhelmed and I'm not always motivated to eat healthy and exercise. But, I do it. I may splurge on chocolate or miss a workout - but I never stop, I never quit, and I never stop striving. I am a real mom, with real obligations and this is a real picture of me - excess skin at all - saying YOU are beautiful. Motherhood is beautiful. AND it can make you better!'
She had me at chocolate.0 -
The pic is not just on MFP, is it? Likewise I was not aiming for anyone here in particular.
Big package being something you can't change as it's what nature gave you - same as her nice face and figure.
Sorry dear, but both her figure and face can change as a result of weight gain/loss.0 -
Had she chosen some different words other than the very judgmental "What's your excuse?", there wouldn't be a problem. I can't think of a conversation in any situation where that question wouldn't be considered a sarcastic attack and be met with some defensiveness and maybe outright hostility.
"I have ______ and you don't. What's YOUR excuse?"
Let's all try that on someone today and see how it goes.
Okay...mine's gonna be "I have monstrous cleavages and you don't. What's YOUR excuse?"
Next!0 -
:: slow clap gif that I can't insert from my phone ::So, to sum it all up
Fit mom is fit, doesn't use children, work, or disabled husband as excuse.
Other mommies/fatties (Yeah, I said fatties) get mad and pull out a whole lot of reasons to discredit said fit mom
She must not have gained any real weight while preggo. She must have nannies/help. She must be neglecting her kids. She must be lying about he amount of work she puts in. She's victimizing women. She's trying to tell me I have to look like her! Well after I had MY baby I couldn't have thisthatandthethird.
And it all boils down to even in a thread where someone is saying "Don't make excuses, just do!" people are still making excuses.
Did I miss anything?0 -
Here is my take.
I am British, I moved to the US in 1999. One of the most insane cultural differences is that many Americans seem to lack personal responsibility. At least compared to the my friends and family back home.
The 'not my fault' and 'blame anyone and everyone, except me' seemed was initially really hilarious.
If an American crashes there car, it is nothing to do with their lack of skills, it is always for a reason that is tantalizingly just outside of their control. The errant dog, the poor signposts, the low sun, the inexplicable unintended acceleration. It has nothing to do with a lack of attention, or pedal confusion.
The reason I am overweight is simple. I eat more than I burn. I do not quite care about my shape quite enough to really push myself as often as I should. Or maybe I should slow down the shoveling of tasty unhealthy food into my mouth.
Either way, it is 100% my fault that I am overweight.
Eat too much ?
Exercise too little ?
It is nothing at all to do with how tasty junk food it, or even how Starbucks ask if I want 'room for cream' and only give me 3/4 of a cup.
It is my inability to curb my consumption, or increase my burn.
Many Americans seem eager to apply the same false logic to their bodies. Its not my fault I am fat, it is McDonalds and their cheap and tasty food. It is not my fault that I waddle, I have a medical condition (yeah, you are morbidly obese because you eat so much).
This woman is amazing, she has womaned up and got into better shape than many can dream of in a really impressively short period.
There should be do controversy, those that know, deep down, that they are making excuses need to simply gaze in awe at what can be achieved by admitting that you are blame-shifting and getting off your lardy *kitten* and burning more than you eat.....
Can I send you a friend request?0 -
So, to sum it all up
Fit mom is fit, doesn't use children, work, or disabled husband as excuse.
Other mommies/fatties (Yeah, I said fatties) get mad and pull out a whole lot of reasons to discredit said fit mom
She must not have gained any real weight while preggo. She must have nannies/help. She must be neglecting her kids. She must be lying about he amount of work she puts in. She's victimizing women. She's trying to tell me I have to look like her! Well after I had MY baby I couldn't have thisthatandthethird.
And it all boils down to even in a thread where someone is saying "Don't make excuses, just do!" people are still making excuses.
Did I miss anything?
This^^^0 -
What if another mom posted a picture of their 3 graduate degrees or their corner office or their bestselling novel and used that same caption? It would be rude, right?
Yeah because you don't need a college degree to not be a health risk or a medical burden on your family. Being healthy is expected as a living creature. Continued education is not :-/0 -
Here is my take.
I am British, I moved to the US in 1999. One of the most insane cultural differences is that many Americans seem to lack personal responsibility. At least compared to the my friends and family back home.
The 'not my fault' and 'blame anyone and everyone, except me' seemed was initially really hilarious.
If an American crashes there car, it is nothing to do with their lack of skills, it is always for a reason that is tantalizingly just outside of their control. The errant dog, the poor signposts, the low sun, the inexplicable unintended acceleration. It has nothing to do with a lack of attention, or pedal confusion.
The reason I am overweight is simple. I eat more than I burn. I do not quite care about my shape quite enough to really push myself as often as I should. Or maybe I should slow down the shoveling of tasty unhealthy food into my mouth.
Either way, it is 100% my fault that I am overweight.
Eat too much ?
Exercise too little ?
It is nothing at all to do with how tasty junk food it, or even how Starbucks ask if I want 'room for cream' and only give me 3/4 of a cup.
It is my inability to curb my consumption, or increase my burn.
Many Americans seem eager to apply the same false logic to their bodies. Its not my fault I am fat, it is McDonalds and their cheap and tasty food. It is not my fault that I waddle, I have a medical condition (yeah, you are morbidly obese because you eat so much).
This woman is amazing, she has womaned up and got into better shape than many can dream of in a really impressively short period.
There should be do controversy, those that know, deep down, that they are making excuses need to simply gaze in awe at what can be achieved by admitting that you are blame-shifting and getting off your lardy *kitten* and burning more than you eat.....
This is because of a girl named sue.0 -
What if another mom posted a picture of their 3 graduate degrees or their corner office or their bestselling novel and used that same caption? It would be rude, right?
Yeah because you don't need a college degree to not be a health risk or a medical burden on your family. Being healthy is expected as a living creature. Continued education is not :-/
Of course, but I think there's a big difference between being healthy and having her body. Plenty of people, myself included, eat well, exercise regularly, and are at a healthy weight, but don't look like a fitness model.0 -
So, to sum it all up
Fit mom is fit, doesn't use children, work, or disabled husband as excuse.
Other mommies/fatties (Yeah, I said fatties) get mad and pull out a whole lot of reasons to discredit said fit mom
She must not have gained any real weight while preggo. She must have nannies/help. She must be neglecting her kids. She must be lying about he amount of work she puts in. She's victimizing women. She's trying to tell me I have to look like her! Well after I had MY baby I couldn't have thisthatandthethird.
And it all boils down to even in a thread where someone is saying "Don't make excuses, just do!" people are still making excuses.
Did I miss anything?
The question then becomes, WHO exactly was she targeting? The obese? The slightly overweight? The person with 5 pounds to lose? Should someone who is only a few pounds overweight be subjected to scrutiny?
Additionally, if "fit mom" is going to put herself in the public eye with a statement (photo) like that, she should have skin thick enough to endure the court of public opinion, which tends to execute anyone with even the slightest hint of self righteousness, regardless of intent.
It almost seems like a well executed publicity stunt.
yup.0 -
Had she chosen some different words other than the very judgmental "What's your excuse?", there wouldn't be a problem. I can't think of a conversation in any situation where that question wouldn't be considered a sarcastic attack and be met with some defensiveness and maybe outright hostility.
"I have ______ and you don't. What's YOUR excuse?"
Let's all try that on someone today and see how it goes.
Perception is the paintbrush you use to color your world.
you have some pretty bitter aggressive colors on your palette. Just hoping you dont mean this.
I'm just more perceptive than you. What's your excuse?
I'm too much of a believer in people.0 -
So, to sum it all up
Fit mom is fit, doesn't use children, work, or disabled husband as excuse.
Other mommies/fatties (Yeah, I said fatties) get mad and pull out a whole lot of reasons to discredit said fit mom
She must not have gained any real weight while preggo. She must have nannies/help. She must be neglecting her kids. She must be lying about he amount of work she puts in. She's victimizing women. She's trying to tell me I have to look like her! Well after I had MY baby I couldn't have thisthatandthethird.
And it all boils down to even in a thread where someone is saying "Don't make excuses, just do!" people are still making excuses.
Did I miss anything?
The question then becomes, WHO exactly was she targeting? The obese? The slightly overweight? The person with 5 pounds to lose? Should someone who is only a few pounds overweight be subjected to scrutiny?
Additionally, if "fit mom" is going to put herself in the public eye with a statement (photo) like that, she should have skin thick enough to endure the court of public opinion, which tends to execute anyone with even the slightest hint of self righteousness, regardless of intent.
It almost seems like a well executed publicity stunt.
She posted it on her Facebook page, which is a fitness page. People generally like it and follow her to get motivation and tips. that was her target. It went viral because people liked it and shared it with people that are not on her Facebook. And her response just shows how thick her skin is:
I've been getting an influx of new followers, emails and comments (on my profile pic) recently. Some saying I'm a bully, I'm fat-shaming and I need to apologize for the hurt I've caused women. I get it. SO here's my First and Final Apology:
I'm sorry you took an image and resonated with it in such a negative way. I won't go into details that I struggled with my genetics, had an eating disorder, work full time owning two business', have no nanny, am not naturally skinny and do not work as a personal trainer. I won't even mention how I didn't give into cravings for ice cream, french fries or chocolate while pregnant or use my growing belly as an excuse to be inactive.
What I WILL say is this. What you interpret is not MY fault. It's Yours. The first step in owning your life, your body and your destiny is to OWN the thoughts that come out of your own head. I didn't create them. You created them. So if you want to continue 'hating' this image, get used to hating many other things for the rest of your life. You can either blame, complain or obtain a new level of thought by challenging the negative words that come out of your own brain.
With that said, obesity and those who struggle with health-related diseases is literally a 'bigger' issue than this photo. Maybe it's time we stop tip-toeing around people's feelings and get to the point. So What's Your Excuse? - Maria Kang0 -
I haven't read the entire thread yet (still on part 1) but I wanted to say this:
Reading through all the replies makes me wonder how differently some MFPers would feel if this was a member's success story. If this woman used MFP and posted that photo under the "Success Stories", I'm willing to bet NO ONE would have a negative thing to say. It would be all smiles, "way to go's", and "you are such an inspiration!"
Just an interesting thought I had.
Carry on.
Happens all the time. They had to lock and delete Hoss's thread and Leas.0 -
What if another mom posted a picture of their 3 graduate degrees or their corner office or their bestselling novel and used that same caption? It would be rude, right?
Yeah because you don't need a college degree to not be a health risk or a medical burden on your family. Being healthy is expected as a living creature. Continued education is not :-/
Of course, but I think there's a big difference between being healthy and having her body. Plenty of people, myself included, eat well, exercise regularly, and are at a healthy weight, but don't look like a fitness model.
Where did she tell you to have her body?
And if you are healthy and doing everything right, and you see her picture and it says What's Your Excuse - then why don't you high five her and say Word! No excuses here either!! And smile to yourself for a minute because the universe just gave you a pat on the back
0 -
Where did she tell you to have her body?
And if you are healthy and doing everything right, and you see her picture and it says What's Your Excuse - then why don't you high five her and say Word! No excuses here either!! And smile to yourself for a minute because the universe just gave you a pat on the back
Yes!0 -
I wonder how people would react to someone waving a PhD certificate around saying "What's your excuse?" It completely neglects there are SO MANY FACTORS involved in how we look and how fit we are just like our educational level has a lot to do with class, race, etc.
Also, to each their own. Some people take time for themselves by working out their brain or spending time on their loved ones. Just because someone doesn't look like her doesn't mean they aren't healthy. And not everyone wants to achieve what she has achieved. For some people focusing on themselves is this after a long day of fulfilling work:
She just sound extremely arrogant and self-satisfied. Just no.
Sorry if this was already covered. There's no way in hell I'm reading this entire thread.
Edited...because Stupid gif!0 -
What if another mom posted a picture of their 3 graduate degrees or their corner office or their bestselling novel and used that same caption? It would be rude, right?
Yeah because you don't need a college degree to not be a health risk or a medical burden on your family. Being healthy is expected as a living creature. Continued education is not :-/
Of course, but I think there's a big difference between being healthy and having her body. Plenty of people, myself included, eat well, exercise regularly, and are at a healthy weight, but don't look like a fitness model.
Where did she tell you to have her body?
And if you are healthy and doing everything right, and you see her picture and it says What's Your Excuse - then why don't you high five her and say Word! No excuses here either!! And smile to yourself for a minute because the universe just gave you a pat on the back
That was my actual first thought when I saw this pic..."Awesome...hi five!"...
...because it's awesome. Oh, sure, you can argue nuances of the phrasing, you can infer messages that may or may not be there, you can defend the nameless masses that you believe need to be defended from the affront that is this picture...
...but for whatever reason, I didn't. I just thought, "awesome".
(Does that make me a bad person?)0 -
What if another mom posted a picture of their 3 graduate degrees or their corner office or their bestselling novel and used that same caption? It would be rude, right?
Yeah because you don't need a college degree to not be a health risk or a medical burden on your family. Being healthy is expected as a living creature. Continued education is not :-/
Of course, but I think there's a big difference between being healthy and having her body. Plenty of people, myself included, eat well, exercise regularly, and are at a healthy weight, but don't look like a fitness model.
Where did she tell you to have her body?
And if you are healthy and doing everything right, and you see her picture and it says What's Your Excuse - then why don't you high five her and say Word! No excuses here either!! And smile to yourself for a minute because the universe just gave you a pat on the back
That was my actual first thought when I saw this pic..."Awesome...hi five!"...
...because it's awesome. Oh, sure, you can argue nuances of the phrasing, you can infer messages that may or may not be there, you can defend the nameless masses that you believe need to be defended from the affront that is this picture...
...but for whatever reason, I didn't. I just thought, "awesome".
(Does that make me a bad person?)
Nope. Awesome recognizes awesome. You only get upset when you recognize that you are an inferior person.0 -
my thoughts on original image: she's fricken hot. :smokin:0
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I wonder how people would react to someone waving a PhD certificate around saying "What's your excuse?" It completely neglects there are SO MANY FACTORS involved in how we look and how fit we are just like our educational level has a lot to do with class, race, etc.
Also, to each their own. Some people take time for themselves by working out their brain or spending time on their loved ones. Just because someone doesn't look like her doesn't mean they aren't healthy. And not everyone wants to achieve what she has achieved. For some people focusing on themselves is this after a long day of fulfilling work:
She just sound extremely arrogant and self-satisfied. Just no.
Sorry if this was already covered. There's no way in hell I'm reading this entire thread.
Edited...because Stupid gif!
So you're saying that with effort and time and baring serious medical issues (and even then...) everyone couldn't be as fit as this woman? I'll never look like her (What with being a totally different person and all) but I can certainly be just as fit. And she never said people who don't look like her aren't healthy; you just pulled that out of the air.
And of course she's self satisfied. Why the hell shouldn't she be? Because it offends you? Pft.0 -
I wonder how people would react to someone waving a PhD certificate around saying "What's your excuse?" It completely neglects there are SO MANY FACTORS involved in how we look and how fit we are just like our educational level has a lot to do with class, race, etc.
Also, to each their own. Some people take time for themselves by working out their brain or spending time on their loved ones. Just because someone doesn't look like her doesn't mean they aren't healthy. And not everyone wants to achieve what she has achieved. For some people focusing on themselves is this after a long day of fulfilling work:
It depends on priorities. Does someone want a PhD or a banging body? Or are they satisfied with less than that? And I'd still be happy for the person with the PhD.
She just sound extremely arrogant and self-satisfied. Just no.
Doesn't she have a reason to be? She's worked pretty hard.0
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