Is he hitting on me??

zacksnana

I remember when stuff like this happened in high school. I liked high school. High school was fun. I could do whatever I wanted.

You asked for pictures of married women's lady parts in high school?

You didn't?

We didn't have cell phones when I was in high school, just pagers. So I didn't really have the technology for it.

hahaha pagers. you're hilarious. what are pagers?

They were like cellphones that you couldn't answer so all you had were a bunch of missed calls that you had to return. :laugh:

I am starting to get disappointed at how dumb you think I am. pls tune your sarcasm meter it just misfired.

I am confused and after reading these posts i am still confused so i will just ask.

It appears you asked a question and this person gave a serious response. I don't think it sounds like the person was trying to insult you.

Or maybe you two are friends and i just don't get the joke? Oops.
:flowerforyou:

She is just jealous.

.... of polaroid nudes and pagers? you old people are weird

Damn. Now I am sad. Did i just get insulted? I had a Polaroid. And pager. And 8 track. But my 70 Barracuda was AWESOME.

whierd

I remember when stuff like this happened in high school. I liked high school. High school was fun. I could do whatever I wanted.

You asked for pictures of married women's lady parts in high school?

You didn't?

We didn't have cell phones when I was in high school, just pagers. So I didn't really have the technology for it.

hahaha pagers. you're hilarious. what are pagers?

They were like cellphones that you couldn't answer so all you had were a bunch of missed calls that you had to return. :laugh:

I am starting to get disappointed at how dumb you think I am. pls tune your sarcasm meter it just misfired.

I am confused and after reading these posts i am still confused so i will just ask.

It appears you asked a question and this person gave a serious response. I don't think it sounds like the person was trying to insult you.

Or maybe you two are friends and i just don't get the joke? Oops.
:flowerforyou:

She is just jealous.

.... of polaroid nudes and pagers? you old people are weird

Damn. Now I am sad. Did i just get insulted? I had a Polaroid. And pager. And 8 track. But my 70 Barracuda was AWESOME.

No it wasn't. You just felt awesome.

AlongCame_Molly

(I don't know if this is relevant, but also 2 nights ago I was out jogging alone and I finished my run right across the street from his apartment. I called to see if he was home, and I went in to his place and got some water and hung out with him and watched an episode of The Office then he gave me a ride home. My husband was aware of all of this.)

You don't know if this is relevant? Really?


Yes, it's relevant. He probably takes it as a thinly veiled excuse to hang out with him alone. How did that phone conversation go? "Yeah, I just finished my run and it just happens to be in front of your apartment . . . mind if I come in?"

I would definitely take that as heavy flirting on your part.

You are absolutely right. I will definitely never be making that mistake again. It all just happened so suddenly I never thought he would take it any other way than just "hey, can I have some water", you know?

TheSlorax

I remember when stuff like this happened in high school. I liked high school. High school was fun. I could do whatever I wanted.

You asked for pictures of married women's lady parts in high school?

You didn't?

We didn't have cell phones when I was in high school, just pagers. So I didn't really have the technology for it.

hahaha pagers. you're hilarious. what are pagers?

They were like cellphones that you couldn't answer so all you had were a bunch of missed calls that you had to return. :laugh:

I am starting to get disappointed at how dumb you think I am. pls tune your sarcasm meter it just misfired.

I am confused and after reading these posts i am still confused so i will just ask.

It appears you asked a question and this person gave a serious response. I don't think it sounds like the person was trying to insult you.

Or maybe you two are friends and i just don't get the joke? Oops.
:flowerforyou:

She is just jealous.

.... of polaroid nudes and pagers? you old people are weird

Damn. Now I am sad. Did i just get insulted? I had a Polaroid. And pager. And 8 track. But my 70 Barracuda was AWESOME.

I am a jerk today. NO INSULTS! POLAROIDS AND 8 TRACKS AND PAGERS ARE AWESOME! :flowerforyou: your 70 barracuda was super awesome, you're right.

at least you got through school without google. I have very high regards for anyone who did that. I got my degree in googling.

randomtai

at least you got through school without google. I have very high regards for anyone who did that. I got my degree in googling.

We had to go to this place called the library and look up things in books called encyclopedias. :laugh:

AlongCame_Molly

This is not a friendship on his part. You need to cut him off 100%. He's disrespecting your husband and your marriage.

That's what I'm starting to think. He has a history of being sneaky with women, like "oh, don't tell your friend I'm banging this other girl, cause I still want to hit that". I just never thought he's be stupid/disrespectful/trashy enough to try it on me, and old friend, and a married woman with a child, at that.

Damn me for thinking the best of people. It's not the first time it's gotten me burned. :frown:

randomtai

This is not a friendship on his part. You need to cut him off 100%. He's disrespecting your husband and your marriage.

That's what I'm starting to think. He has a history of being sneaky with women, like "oh, don't tell your friend I'm banging this other girl, cause I still want to hit that". I just never thought he's be stupid/disrespectful/trashy enough to try it on me, and old friend, and a married woman with a child, at that.

Damn me for thinking the best of people. It's not the first time it's gotten me burned. :frown:

Marriage never stops anyone from doing anything they really want to do. It should... but it doesn't. If you 2 slept together before I am sure he thinks it can happen again no matter what "forgetting" happened.

Supahvixen

Ok., so I've been "out of the game" for a while, now and maybe I'm picking up things that aren't there, but I'm not sure. Can you guys weigh in?

I've got a friend I've known for about 7 years. We used to work together, he was my supervisor. We've always had a chill, laid back friendship. There's never been anything between us, except ONE time about 6 years ago I got trashy white girl-wasted and slept with him. We both agreed it was a stupid mistake and we decided to forget it and act as though it never happened. (I don't remember much of it, anyway-GAWD I was a skank :embarassed: ) It has never caused weirdness or awkwardness between us.

Now I've been married for three years, and he's still single. My husband knows everything about us, and is cool with it. He knows I never wanted it to happen in the first place, and knows there's no chance at all of anything ever happening again, especially since now I am a teetotaler for deeply religious reasons.

Occasionally the friend will come over to our house and have dinner with me and my husband, because he lives just down the street from us. They get along well. Sometimes the friend and I will go on neighborhood runs together, as we both like to stay in shape to do 5ks. So there's your back story.

About a month ago this friend texted me from a night out at a casino. We were messaging back and forth when when said

"Send me a pic, mamas? Miss you"

This is NOT how he usually speaks to me. He's never sent a text like that. We do not have pet names for each other, and I do not send him pics. I feel that to be super inappropriate and I save things like that for my husband. I didn't want to tell him off though, on the off chance that he didn't mean that text for me, and I sound like a crazy person. SO i just replied something like,

"Lol, how drunk are you? " and he said

"not drunk at all, I'm driving".

I ended up not answering that one, and it never came up in conversation. Whether he was forgot about it or was embarrassed, or it was meant for someone else, I couldn't say.

(I don't know if this is relevant, but also 2 nights ago I was out jogging alone and I finished my run right across the street from his apartment. I called to see if he was home, and I went in to his place and got some water and hung out with him and watched an episode of The Office then he gave me a ride home. My husband was aware of all of this.)

Flash forward to tonight, where he texts me:

"hey I got invited to a burlesque show with some coworkers tonight, you wanna go?"

I told him I couldn't as I have school early the next morning, and if I was tired my workout was going to suffer. His response:

"OK got a smoking hot blonde to go with me! Damn guess I have to stay up late lol"

:huh: :huh: :huh:

What....the hell? Did he just ask me out on a date? WHY would he ask a MARRIED, honest woman to go to a STRIP SHOW, b e f o r e asking a "smoking hot blonde" to go with him?

I have mentioned in passing before that I enjoy having the complete trust of my husband, and I'm glad he's so chill with who I hang out with...could the friend possibly take that to mean that my husband doesn't mind "sharing"? Cuz he is NOT down with that, lol.

What is going on?? Is he putting out feelers to make a pass at me, am I just being paranoid? Am I sending him mixed signals? I have been careful not to, I have zero feelings for him, NONE, but maybe I need to reel it in even more?? Wtf? He's never acted like this before. I'm totally confused.

Feedback would be welcome.

There. Highlighted the relevant parts. That should answer your question.

AlongCame_Molly

as for the first text, I am going to assume he was drunk. "I'm not drunk" usually means "I'm not THAT drunk" which usually means "I'm ****ing wasted." although "I'm driving" is a nice touch, I will use that sometime.

:laugh: :laugh:

True story. I think he was drunk. Doesn't excuse the behavior much, but at least I can stop being all, "wtf was THAT about?"

AlongCame_Molly

I don't know, the first seems kind of weird but I'm going to go with it being alcohol induced, and the second is not conclusive for me. I'm also really oblivious so I have no idea. it almost seems to me like your history together puts you on edge a little especially since your husband knows about it. could it be that you are overly on guard and so even the smallest inclinations that he may be into you make you uncomfortable? how often exactly do you hang out with him?

I hang out with him about every other week, maybe a little less frequently. Always limited to running, or having dinner with me and my husband. (at least until 2 days ago when I dropped by) We had made plans to start running together more often, but Im'a put the kaibosh on that now, after reading up on everyone's responses, I think.

soldiergrl_101

Sounds like you need to confront him in an adult manner and ask him whats going on thats the only way you will no for sure and if you dont ask and he keeps sending these inappropriate signals it may ruin what sounds like was at one point a good friendship

AlongCame_Molly

Next time he wants a picture, send one with you and your husband.

That's a great idea. I wish I'd though of that, I'd have sent him a wedding picture! lol

Shaky44

By the way, you mentioned in your original post that your husband "knew" that you stopped by his house after your run and got a ride home.

Did he know about the request to send pics? Because I'm pretty sure this puts this into a different context. You might not mind your husband spending time with a woman you both know, but would be more reluctant if you knew she was asking him for pics.

AlongCame_Molly

By the way, you mentioned in your original post that your husband "knew" that you stopped by his house after your run and got a ride home.

Did he know about the request to send pics? Because I'm pretty sure this puts this into a different context. You might not mind your husband spending time with a woman you both know, but would be more reluctant if you knew she was asking him for pics.

Yes, my husband knew everything. I've speculated everything in my OP and more with him. He doesn't read into things very much, and he's extremely trusting, so he was like, "meh". He knows I'm not interested, and that I am 110% faithful.

I think my friend might be imagining my husband's extreme amount of trust as a willingness to "share". If that's the case I need to sever ALL ties with this guy. Ain't ever going to happen.

randomtai

This is not a friendship on his part. You need to cut him off 100%. He's disrespecting your husband and your marriage.

That's what I'm starting to think. He has a history of being sneaky with women, like "oh, don't tell your friend I'm banging this other girl, cause I still want to hit that". I just never thought he's be stupid/disrespectful/trashy enough to try it on me, and old friend, and a married woman with a child, at that.

Damn me for thinking the best of people. It's not the first time it's gotten me burned. :frown:

Marriage never stops anyone from doing anything they really want to do. It should... but it doesn't. If you 2 slept together before I am sure he thinks it can happen again no matter what "forgetting" happened.

I'm sorry you and he have such skewed views on marriage. Again, It's my fault for assuming everyone takes commitment like that seriously. It's just how I was raised.

Sorry those aren't my views, please don't put words in my mouth. I said and I quote "It should matter but usually doesn't" and that is the way society is now a days. This is why the divorce rate is as high as it is.

AlongCame_Molly

This is not a friendship on his part. You need to cut him off 100%. He's disrespecting your husband and your marriage.

That's what I'm starting to think. He has a history of being sneaky with women, like "oh, don't tell your friend I'm banging this other girl, cause I still want to hit that". I just never thought he's be stupid/disrespectful/trashy enough to try it on me, and old friend, and a married woman with a child, at that.

Damn me for thinking the best of people. It's not the first time it's gotten me burned. :frown:

Marriage never stops anyone from doing anything they really want to do. It should... but it doesn't. If you 2 slept together before I am sure he thinks it can happen again no matter what "forgetting" happened.

I'm sorry you and he have such skewed views on marriage. Again, It's my fault for assuming everyone takes commitment like that seriously. It's just how I was raised.

Sorry those aren't my views, please don't put words in my mouth. I said and I quote "It should matter but usually doesn't" and that is the way society is now a days. This is why the divorce rate is as high as it is.

I apologize, I misread your post at first, then realized my mistake. That's why I edited it. I had hoped it got caught before you saw it. :flowerforyou:

randomtai

I apologize, I misread your post at first, then realized my mistake. That's why I edited it. I had hoped it got caught before you saw it. :flowerforyou:

It's ok I just noticed it... :flowerforyou:
I agree with you... you would think people would respect someone that they consider a close friend enough to know that marriage means off limits, especially when he has meals with your family.

AlongCame_Molly

I apologize, I misread your post at first, then realized my mistake. That's why I edited it. I had hoped it got caught before you saw it. :flowerforyou:

It's ok I just noticed it... :flowerforyou:
I agree with you... you would think people would respect someone that they consider a close friend enough to know that marriage means off limits, especially when he has meals with your family.

One WOULD assume that, but the more I think about it, the more I'm starting to think I never was that good of a friend, more of a convenient piece of *kitten* to keep on the side in case she ever let her guard down. :frown:

Dunkirk

Are you sure he's sending the texts, and not someone else using his phone?

AlongCame_Molly

Are you sure he's sending the texts, and not someone else using his phone?

I suppose it's possible. Just like it's possible aliens beamed him up a month ago and programmed him to make passes at married women...is your question for real? Lol