To share or not to share your food journal

DebsReady2

I'm new to MFP so I like to share. I like to see what others are having...to remind myself that food is not the enemy. Plus it gives me ideas on what to make.

krazyforyou

Mine is open for accountability. So what if I eat a pint of ice cream, its my *kitten* that pays the price not yours. But have had great suggestions from fiends on things to do to make decisions easiser.

lithezebra

I debated whether or not to make my food journal open. I chose to keep it open. If you want to ask questions, receive support, and get input on your weight loss and exercise, people generally need to see what you eat. I've never had anyone be terribly judgmental, outside of one guy who didn't seem to understand that a small woman could be eating 1500 calories a day to maintain, not to lose weight.

lithezebra

I have nothing to hide. Anyone can look at my food diary. They will quickly become bored and leave.

I thought that too, but it turns out that I like seeing what other people are eating when I get bored of what I'm eating.

susieoj

Mine is open and it's honest - if you're embarrassed to be eating what you're eating that's a big red flag - either feel good about eating it - I log those Oreos if I eat them and I enjoy every darn bite of processed crud - or I don't eat them - I like having the food diary open because it helps me remind myself to keep my relationship with food positive and productive, I don't want to feel like I want to hide from anyone what I'm eating. If I'm going to have some type of hidden life I want it to be way more interesting than that chocolate bar I munched the other day.

kmbweber2014

I do it for accountability. If I am worried someone might judge me for my food choices I probably shouldn't eat like that. But that being said If I want a burger I'll eat a burger, today I had most of a giant fish burrito and it was good. People that look at my diary know it is not the norm for me so I know they don't judge me for it.

judyblow

I've been on MFP since March of this year and I've lost over 70 pounds. I share my food journal because I need the accountability and I want to know that others are looking at what I'm doing. I've hit a few plateaus and had to tweak my food but it was the suggestions from my friends that helped me see the changes that needed to be made.

guroprincess

I share mine, but only with a password. It's a happy medium for me. Originally I had it all the way open, and really received some nasty comments. Then I locked it down, and a couple of people unfriended me. I told them that I had it password protected and that my nutritionist and trainer had access to it to keep me grounded. They still unfriended me. My thoughts are, if you don't have the password, there's a reason why. I still keep motivated knowing that the people that matter, who have the knowledge and have helped me set my goals and know me personally have the password. If I need to open it up for help from the "forums" I will, but frankly, the people with the knowledge are better equipped to handle my questions.
To each their own though...

This exactly. I know that I don't exactly eat "clean" and honestly not everyone needs to know everything. The people who I'm very close to or need to know have the password, otherwise, I see no point in opening it up to the world.

The only person who needs to hold me accountable is me. This has always worked for me and I like it best this way. I'm not interested in commentary or criticism at this point-- I'm eating within my caloric limits and that's what's best for me. If I asked for help, I would certainly open it up though.

bsuew

Lots of different idea's I'm sure. I did have mine opened until a few really ugly comments about days that were shorter on calories. Some days my acid reflux and irritable stomach just can't handle anything else. So the days that I'm having issues with my digestive system, it's better to have it closed. I'm on prescription medication for both and still have flair ups. So for me it's closed. My mom taught me if I can't say anything nice keep my mouth shut lol. So closing it kept my mouth shut :laugh:

sympha01

Personally, I'd think it makes more sense to keep your profile private than your diary. I've never had my diary openly judged, for what it's worth, but I kinda think, so what if someone DID?

Also, FWIW, if I make a new friend, and then learn that the new friend keeps their diary private from friends as well as strangers, I tend to write them off immediately. Even though most of my friends have really different nutrition goals from me and from each other, it's super helpful and motivating to be closing the diary out each day for them as well as for me, and I enjoy checking in on my friends' diaries for meal planning ideas or sometimes just to say some version of "Wow, girl, I'm jealous of what you ate today!"

guroprincess

Personally, I'd think it makes more sense to keep your profile private than your diary. I've never had my diary openly judged, for what it's worth, but I kinda think, so what if someone DID?

Also, FWIW, if I make a new friend, and then learn that the new friend keeps their diary private from friends as well as strangers, I tend to write them off immediately. Even though most of my friends have really different nutrition goals from me and from each other, it's super helpful and motivating to be closing the diary out each day for them as well as for me, and I enjoy checking in on my friends' diaries for meal planning ideas or sometimes just to say some version of "Wow, girl, I'm jealous of what you ate today!"

You immediately write off people because they don't make the same choices as you?

Must be fun at parties.

Briargrey

Mine is private for now because I don't have a need for anyone to see it. If I were to come to the forums to request help on an issue, then yes, I would make it public, because the diary info can be critical to gaining good feedback. It's entirely up to you and how well you will react to potential comments. Just know that if you do ask for help, you will be requested to open it up.

Briargrey

Personally, I'd think it makes more sense to keep your profile private than your diary. I've never had my diary openly judged, for what it's worth, but I kinda think, so what if someone DID?

Also, FWIW, if I make a new friend, and then learn that the new friend keeps their diary private from friends as well as strangers, I tend to write them off immediately. Even though most of my friends have really different nutrition goals from me and from each other, it's super helpful and motivating to be closing the diary out each day for them as well as for me, and I enjoy checking in on my friends' diaries for meal planning ideas or sometimes just to say some version of "Wow, girl, I'm jealous of what you ate today!"

Wow. Definitely don't friend me then. I'm not in it for the friends anyway, but I did accept a few who sent me a request. But I didn't change keeping my diary private, because it is mine. I don't think I'd ever unfriend someone just because they kept a setting different than me.

SkimFlatWhite68

I'm more than happy to share my food diary. Maybe it will give others some ideas, and it keeps me accountable. I write notes explaining things if I've gone off track, thoughts and feelings about the day.

If anyone in my friends list who reads it is judgemental, and keeps it up on a regular basis, I'll delete them as a friend, because that isn't friendship.

plumsparkle

Mine used to be open, and I had a few friends who had said they wouldn't friend anyone with a closed diary. But then they started being very judgemental, things like making sarky comment if I had eaten fast food or chocolate, even if I had stayed under my calories, telling me I needed to up my work out levels (I have fibromyalgia, and can't always work out as long or hard as I would like) and generally being quite judgemental and often downright rude, so I decided this was hard enough without that kind of criticism and closed my diary. Sure enough, every one of those "friends" unfriended me. But reading thiss thread has made me decide to open it again, but this time lose the critical 'friends' and not shut myself off from helpful comment.
And yes, I can take constructive criticism, but a nègative or rude judgement being made every day, with no attempt to discuss why I had made that choice, and no reference to anything positive I had done is not constructive!

sympha01

Personally, I'd think it makes more sense to keep your profile private than your diary. I've never had my diary openly judged, for what it's worth, but I kinda think, so what if someone DID?

Also, FWIW, if I make a new friend, and then learn that the new friend keeps their diary private from friends as well as strangers, I tend to write them off immediately. Even though most of my friends have really different nutrition goals from me and from each other, it's super helpful and motivating to be closing the diary out each day for them as well as for me, and I enjoy checking in on my friends' diaries for meal planning ideas or sometimes just to say some version of "Wow, girl, I'm jealous of what you ate today!"

Wow. Definitely don't friend me then. I'm not in it for the friends anyway, but I did accept a few who sent me a request. But I didn't change keeping my diary private, because it is mine. I don't think I'd ever unfriend someone just because they kept a setting different than me.

Don't worry, I won't friend you. I'm not a friend collector either -- I really only want a few MFP friends who I can interact with meaningfully (and the ones I have turned out to be really helpful). I know there are lot of people around here who seem to be in it all for acquiring more friends they can keep up with and for the "rate the person above" you games and not especially the fitness. To each his own. You be you, girls and boys. Have fun!

But my perspective is that this isn't a general-purpose social networking site -- it's a fitness site, and that's why I'm here. The people on my FL are not real world friends (though some of them could be). These are people I've made connections with about healthy meal planning and fitness, and the point HERE (as opposed to say, Facebook) is to share our fitness-related experience, frustrations, and accomplishments. Anyone who isn't going to be open about the eating part of it, well, I don't see how I'm going to be interacting with that person much.

I don't know, probably some people with closed diaries have food shame issues, and while that breaks my heart a little for them, I can't help them at all. And for what it's worth, I know there are people here who are all about the physical training and aren't challenged by the food part at all. Which is fine and great for them, but I'm not really going to have a lot to talk about with that person either, because I ::personally:: am not that invested in their personal best in a tabata workout, or a 10 mile run, 2 hours on the elliptical, or whatever advanced / beyond-my-ability-to-conceive fitnessing they did today.

So maybe it was a little harsh to say that I "write off" friends with closed diaries, but really, I do figure that these are people I'm not going to be interacting with (they're not real world friends!), and will probably be defriending after a few weeks to minimize feed clutter. I personally will choose to connect with people who are prepared to contribute to interactions that are going to be largely focussed on food: how we feel about it, different nutrition goals, how we handle planning from shopping thru meal planning and cooking, how we eat the good stuff, manage or mitigate cravings, and be good to ourselves.

And then, we can talk dirty about food together.

Siansonea

Food shame? That's a thing? Message to anyone who has it: snap out of it. No one has the right to judge anyone else because of what they eat or how much of it they eat. Being overweight or obese isn't a crime, and it doesn't make a person a "bad person" or anything stupid like that. Eating "unhealthy" isn't "wrong" either, or if it is, I don't want to be right. Some people prioritize fitness, and some people prioritize other things in life, like enjoying food. There's no right or wrong answer here folks. Do what you want, eat what you want, be as fit or un-fit as you want, and if anyone wags their finger at you, give them your middle finger. That's what I do. Life's too short for shame of any kind. Take back your power! :drinker:

Go4it1985

PROs
You feel more accountable as your friends may check it out
You may receive useful feedback and advice
If you are having a problem losing weight people may pinpoint where the "problem foods" are
Some successful people who've lost weight may have some great diaries which you can check out and see what their foods are. You can maybe model an eating plan from that if you are just starting out.

CONs
You may be liable to criticism (which is wrong way for people to go about it. Gentle constructive feedback and only out of legitimate concern, not an ego thing)
It might get annoying for some people if you have lots of friends commenting on it constantly
It may tempt you to lie on your diary because you fear judgement (which defeats the purpose of this tool)

Briargrey

Personally, I'd think it makes more sense to keep your profile private than your diary. I've never had my diary openly judged, for what it's worth, but I kinda think, so what if someone DID?

Also, FWIW, if I make a new friend, and then learn that the new friend keeps their diary private from friends as well as strangers, I tend to write them off immediately. Even though most of my friends have really different nutrition goals from me and from each other, it's super helpful and motivating to be closing the diary out each day for them as well as for me, and I enjoy checking in on my friends' diaries for meal planning ideas or sometimes just to say some version of "Wow, girl, I'm jealous of what you ate today!"

Wow. Definitely don't friend me then. I'm not in it for the friends anyway, but I did accept a few who sent me a request. But I didn't change keeping my diary private, because it is mine. I don't think I'd ever unfriend someone just because they kept a setting different than me.

Don't worry, I won't friend you. I'm not a friend collector either -- I really only want a few MFP friends who I can interact with meaningfully (and the ones I have turned out to be really helpful). I know there are lot of people around here who seem to be in it all for acquiring more friends they can keep up with and for the "rate the person above" you games and not especially the fitness. To each his own. You be you, girls and boys. Have fun!

But my perspective is that this isn't a general-purpose social networking site -- it's a fitness site, and that's why I'm here. The people on my FL are not real world friends (though some of them could be). These are people I've made connections with about healthy meal planning and fitness, and the point HERE (as opposed to say, Facebook) is to share our fitness-related experience, frustrations, and accomplishments. Anyone who isn't going to be open about the eating part of it, well, I don't see how I'm going to be interacting with that person much.

I don't know, probably some people with closed diaries have food shame issues, and while that breaks my heart a little for them, I can't help them at all. And for what it's worth, I know there are people here who are all about the physical training and aren't challenged by the food part at all. Which is fine and great for them, but I'm not really going to have a lot to talk about with that person either, because I ::personally:: am not that invested in their personal best in a tabata workout, or a 10 mile run, 2 hours on the elliptical, or whatever advanced / beyond-my-ability-to-conceive fitnessing they did today.

So maybe it was a little harsh to say that I "write off" friends with closed diaries, but really, I do figure that these are people I'm not going to be interacting with (they're not real world friends!), and will probably be defriending after a few weeks to minimize feed clutter. I personally will choose to connect with people who are prepared to contribute to interactions that are going to be largely focussed on food: how we feel about it, different nutrition goals, how we handle planning from shopping thru meal planning and cooking, how we eat the good stuff, manage or mitigate cravings, and be good to ourselves.

And then, we can talk dirty about food together.

Makes much more sense that way I am all about talking dirty about food, and we're probably more alike than we think <g> Anyway, thanks for the explanation!

sympha01

Makes much more sense that way I am all about talking dirty about food, and we're probably more alike than we think <g> Anyway, thanks for the explanation!

I've been defriended specifically for making a comment about California roll being "the missionary position of sushi" (because the person couldn't handle dirty talk, not because she was a California roll partisan) so I know it takes all kinds.