Women in relationships aren't allowed to have male friends?

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Replies

  • InForBacon
    InForBacon Posts: 1,508 Member
    Pfft, I keep my hos on lock. They know better than to stray. I'm more man than any one woman can handle that's why I gots multiple women but they are only allowed to have me.

    Hell yea, Short leash, Pimp hand stay strong. GATOR DONT PLAY DAT !!
    Fo Sho playa
  • CharlzO
    CharlzO Posts: 96 Member
    Just a quick chime in, cause I've been on both ends of this one myself... Has he been hurt or burned in the past by someone, that he's mentioned? It doesn't make it right, but it might be a little more insight as to why he might get nervous about other guys. It also is an insecurity. I was the same way. I found a great girl once, but I was so in disbelief that she chose me, that I was always afraid some other guy was going to make her smile, and she'd realize they were better than I was, and leave me. I've also had a gf who DID end up with guys that started out as "just friends", so I can certainly understand where he's coming from.

    However, he needs to ultimately realize that you're with HIM for a reason or reasons, and that those reasons are what are keeping you with him, and not looking to get out. It's hard for someone to grip that, but If he can get a handle on that, then maybe it'll ease up. Maybe you and him should get coffee with one of those guys, so he can see that you aren't all flirty and stuff with the other guy, and maybe it'll ease it.

    Or, it's possible there's just no help for him, and then...that's a lot more difficult, to try to stay in where there's that much of a trust issue.
  • Trust issues. I have female friends I talk to every day and my fiancee has male friends she talks to and hangs out with all the time. I am amazingly secure in my relationship and like she has no reason to think I would step out on her, I have no reason to distrust her around her male friends. She's a big girl and knows how to say no if someone makes an advance on her. Which if ineffective will likely be followed by a right hook from her. :)
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Because women are the weaker gender and they cannot be trusted with their feelings. Who knows when feelings will overwhelm you and you will jump on that "friend". There is a reason all women are strictly prohibited from talking to men or even showing their face/bodies in the middle east.
    QFT

    Truth, brotha.
  • michelefrench
    michelefrench Posts: 814 Member
    Pfft, I keep my hos on lock. They know better than to stray. I'm more man than any one woman can handle that's why I gots multiple women but they are only allowed to have me.

    OMG - I laughed so hard coffee came out my nose...THANK YOU :flowerforyou:
    This wasn't a joke. Not sure why you are laughing.

    stop it..you're killing me....
  • xSirensSong
    xSirensSong Posts: 615 Member
    Mutual respect. He should not treat you in any way that he wouldn't find acceptable in receiving.

    My husband & I both don't see the point in being super great friends with the opposite sex. As corny as this sounds, my husband IS my best friend. I should be able to do everything I love to do with him ~ no other man should take that role away from him.

    Granted, I am friends with his guy friends, and actually am gym buddies with one of them, but not without making sure my husband was comfy first. He wanted it that way because he wanted them to accept me into their 'circle', so it'd be comfy. Same way with my friends.

    Any way you look at it, in a healthy relationship, double standards are BS.
  • Broderick50
    Broderick50 Posts: 842 Member
    I believe Chris Rock explained it best when he said men don't have women friends they just have women they haven't fuc@ed yet.
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
    Would not fly in my relationship. I have lots of guy friends and I am friends with a lot of his too. If a guy ever told me what I could/could NOT do, I would dump him.
  • wjstoj
    wjstoj Posts: 884 Member
    "Men and women can't be friends, the sex always gets in the way" ~Harry Burns~
  • Chain_Ring
    Chain_Ring Posts: 753 Member
    "Trust and you'll be trusted"........................Said the liar to the fool.
  • InForBacon
    InForBacon Posts: 1,508 Member
    Pfft, I keep my hos on lock. They know better than to stray. I'm more man than any one woman can handle that's why I gots multiple women but they are only allowed to have me.

    OMG - I laughed so hard coffee came out my nose...THANK YOU :flowerforyou:
    This wasn't a joke. Not sure why you are laughing.

    stop it..you're killing me....
    I'm sorry. I never intend to harm anyone. Sometimes I do have to keep my women in line though.
  • Bankman1989
    Bankman1989 Posts: 1,116 Member
    it's ONLY fair if it goes both ways. If I am in a relationship I am only going to talk to women who my S/O knows. if you are going to events, lunch, texting etc if its not an open book then something is up. you have to be trusting towards your mate which means relationships with others have to be equal.
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
    I've always had male friends. My husband always knew this. I get along better with men than i do with women and he is perfectly acceptable of that. I don't text or call my male friends at home... we draw the line at that. Also i have no desire to text or call my male friends. But if I am at work we go to lunch. We might meet for drinks if i haven't seen them in awhile. I went to one of my great male's friends wedding out of town. I went with other female friends. Guys treat me like I am one of the guys and my husband is cool with that.
  • If there was a history of sex in the relationship than I think it's perfectly acceptable for your boyfriend/husband to be jealous and ask you not to continue the "friendship". Otherwise, a co-worker or any other true male/female friendship should be acceptable!

    Just my opinion..
  • The_Enginerd
    The_Enginerd Posts: 3,982 Member
    Because women are the weaker gender and they cannot be trusted with their feelings. Who knows when feelings will overwhelm you and you will jump on that "friend". There is a reason all women are strictly prohibited from talking to men or even showing their face/bodies in the middle east.
    The real good countries don't even let them drive. *Sigh*, I wished I lived in such a utopia.
  • ideang
    ideang Posts: 95
    Not all relationships are that way. My best friend is male, he is also my ex-boyfriend. My husband is so comfortable with our relationship that my friend was a groomsman in our wedding.
  • Maryaly40
    Maryaly40 Posts: 551 Member
    interesting topic..........please carry on
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  • sarahertzberger
    sarahertzberger Posts: 534 Member
    I as a married woman, wouldn't just have a friend who is a male, the same way as my husband wouldn't just be a friend with a woman, it's a complete respect issue, our friends are couples that we do things together with, or I will go out with friends who are women and he would go out with friends who are guys, but as far as going out alone with a friend of the opposite sex, I would never do that nor would my husband. As the saying goes, you play with fire you're going to get burnt, have more respect for your spouse to not do that.

    Now, I will say that if he says you can't have male friends but he can have female friends, then there's something wrong there and he should stop but, you need to tell him how you feel about it.
  • ash8184
    ash8184 Posts: 701 Member
    It isn't acceptable. Talk to your bf and get it out in the open - sounds like you need to communicate.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    It is acceptable because you have allowed it to be.
  • calibriintx
    calibriintx Posts: 1,741 Member
    I don't think this is the universal issue you seem to consider it. I have a lot of male friends. Some have always been friends and some are ex-boyfriends (gasp). All of my female friends also have male friends. Some have different "rules" for lack of a better word. Like if one of my guy friends had an extra concert ticket and invited me, it wouldn't be any different than if one of my female friends invited me. Some of my female friends would decline if they got the same offer, but so would their spouse or SO if they got that offer from a female. Different strokes for different folks. It's kind of a non-issue if two people have compatible views and relationship standards.
  • michelefrench
    michelefrench Posts: 814 Member
    OMG - I laughed so hard coffee came out my nose...THANK YOU :flowerforyou:
    [/quote]
    This wasn't a joke. Not sure why you are laughing.
    [/quote]

    stop it..you're killing me....
    [/quote]
    I'm sorry. I never intend to harm anyone. Sometimes I do have to keep my women in line though.
    [/quote]

    glad I always colored outside the lines then :happy:
  • DymonNdaRgh40
    DymonNdaRgh40 Posts: 661 Member
    If there was a history of sex in the relationship than I think it's perfectly acceptable for your boyfriend/husband to be jealous and ask you not to continue the "friendship". Otherwise, a co-worker or any other true male/female friendship should be acceptable!

    Just my opinion..

    I agree with this. I have no problem with friends however I do have a problem with exes.

    I also feel that you teach people how to treat you. Issues like these should be straightened out from the beginning.
  • Collier78
    Collier78 Posts: 811 Member
    The kitchen is a lonely place.




    (kidding.)



    (can you make me a sandwich?)


    This...this made me laugh so hard the whole office noticed...
  • Collier78
    Collier78 Posts: 811 Member
    Because women are the weaker gender and they cannot be trusted with their feelings. Who knows when feelings will overwhelm you and you will jump on that "friend". There is a reason all women are strictly prohibited from talking to men or even showing their face/bodies in the middle east.
    The real good countries don't even let them drive. *Sigh*, I wished I lived in such a utopia.

    My husband and father in law always say.."Women drivers, no survivors"...:laugh:
  • KeViN_v2pt0
    KeViN_v2pt0 Posts: 375 Member
    It is acceptable because you have allowed it to be.

    ^^^^ This is who your BF needs to watch out for!
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    I swear I must live in a parallel universe to most of the people who post on these forums.

    You either trust your partner, or you don't. If you don't then your relationship needs work.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    I dont know, this whole bestfriends with the opposite sex thing is total crap. Like you shouldn't be sitting on the couch with your significant other texting another chick/dude. Most of the time these "bestfriends" are being told things the boyfriend/girlfriend should be told, they are confiding in someone else. Most married people I know have mutual friends. Like in the real world married dudes dont go out to lunch with random single "friends" thats peoples excuse to do dirt. When I was single I only wanted to text the opposite sex for one reason, to flirt and feel better about myself, now that I am married I have no desire to be friends with men, I mean no offense, I have chick friends, why do I need a male bestfriend I text all my problems to? Anytime I have seen my friends in relationships do this it ends bad, like 99% of the time they had gotten drunk and hooked up in the past, they use the guy when their boyfriend treats them bad to feel better about themselves, they get those warm feelings when the person texts. That is emotional cheating, laughing, joking, kidding around can quickly turn into "harmless flirting" ...People in relationships have no business texting people of the opposite sex. You want friendship? YEAH RIGHT
    So ... because you ae insecure, immature and have no self-control, no one does?

    lol nice try honey. That is the response of people who want to do dirt. I have an amazing marriage. Married people have no business constantly texting or going out to dinner with the opposite sex. I have tons of self control, nice try though. Who even needs self control? What are you even talking about? I have no interest in tons of male friends because I am married with a life, why would I need to have all kinds of male friends around? EVERY SINGLE female that I have been best friends with that defended the whole "bestfriends with guys girls are to much drama" did HELLA dirt behind their boyfriends back, or used these guys to EMOTIONALLY feel better about themselves. You need to look at how damaged your relationship are, that you NEED the fulfillment emotionally from the opposite sex, whom isn't your significant other.

    This is why people shouldn't be allowed to have opinions.
  • TX_Rhon
    TX_Rhon Posts: 1,549 Member
    It is acceptable because you have allowed it to be.

    ^^True. He is possibly insecure because of guilt???