Women in relationships aren't allowed to have male friends?
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I just realized that I havent had a RL female friend in my adult life that I didnt want to bang. Hmmm.
I can honestly say that some of my most amazing friends have been females. My best friend for majority of my stay in US was a girl and I met her (now husband) and became his best friend and his best man but he always used to joke that I shoulda been her best man or something since I'm closer to her. Her and I used to hangout almost daily when after work I'd goto her work to hang with her while she cleaned up.
I think its very healthy to have non-sexual mentality towards cool female friends. All my friends on MFP and I have a non-sexual relationship and I think that has also made me a better person.0 -
The things I'd do to this man...
Him and his "happy little tree".
My ex would get mad when I watched PBS, mostly because he knew that when I would jump his bones after I was really thinking of Bob Ross.0 -
If you have to isolate your husband or wife to ensure they remain faithful, just break up now because that sounds like an exhausing and miserable way to live. My husband has lady friends and I have male friends. I trust him because I have no reason not to.0
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I have a friend whose husband used to take a work bus trip every year from Boston to Buffalo (when I lived there) to see the Bills/Pats game. And every year that I lived there, I would go pick him up and we would hang out the night before the game. It was acually his wife's idea that we get together while he was there. A couple times, his work friends came out, too, but once we just went back to my house and had pizza and that year, a local MALE friend of mine (single at the time -- married now and I'm also friends with his wife) came over and it was just the three of us for the evening.I just realized that I havent had a RL female friend in my adult life that I didnt want to bang. Hmmm.
I can honestly say that some of my most amazing friends have been females. My best friend for majority of my stay in US was a girl and I met her (now husband) and became his best friend and his best man but he always used to joke that I shoulda been her best man or something since I'm closer to her. Her and I used to hangout almost daily when after work I'd goto her work to hang with her while she cleaned up.
I think its very healthy to have non-sexual mentality towards cool female friends. All my friends on MFP and I have a non-sexual relationship and I think that has also made me a better person.
My Boston friend's wife calls me his mistress and says he's my boy toy.
*shrug*
I guess we're not adults.0 -
But does he trust that you would say no? Because that's what matters.I believe Chris Rock explained it best when he said men don't have women friends they just have women they haven't fuc@ed yet.
Lol. This is what my husband says. I don't have any male friends (in real life) either....that would not go over well here. And no, not because he's insecure. He says he does not trust that a guy friend would never want/try anything more. FTR, I don't care if he has female friends. But he doesn't anyway.
A man can try something with you all day long. If you say no, then what difference does it make?
I would certainly end that kind of friendship because that friend is disrespectful. But what your SO is actually saying is that he doesn't think you are capable of saying no when propositioned for sex.
I have a different take on this if we're talking about married couples. Men are very territorial by nature. Sometimes, the ire over this sort of thing is not about insecurity at all. My parents have been happily married for 36 years, and if my dad knew some other guy was hitting on my mom on a regular basis, knowing that she's married, he would take it upon himself to settle the issue. It's not because he thinks my mom would cheat on him. It's because she's his wife, and he will not tolerate a man knowingly and willfully disrespecting that.
Why would your mother (or any generic woman in a similar situation ) continue spending time with someone who was doing that?
I will say this is the better explanation of it, IMO. And as far as it being on a regular basis, sometimes there's a fine line between just playing around and actually flirting/intending more. Can be hard to discern?
Re: the Miley Cyrus friend, now I wonder how my husband would handle himself if he were just good friends with Halle Berry and she propositioned him for more, LOL0 -
And this is why couples have a list! Five celebrities with whom you get a free pass.
But does he trust that you would say no? Because that's what matters.I believe Chris Rock explained it best when he said men don't have women friends they just have women they haven't fuc@ed yet.
Lol. This is what my husband says. I don't have any male friends (in real life) either....that would not go over well here. And no, not because he's insecure. He says he does not trust that a guy friend would never want/try anything more. FTR, I don't care if he has female friends. But he doesn't anyway.
A man can try something with you all day long. If you say no, then what difference does it make?
I would certainly end that kind of friendship because that friend is disrespectful. But what your SO is actually saying is that he doesn't think you are capable of saying no when propositioned for sex.
I have a different take on this if we're talking about married couples. Men are very territorial by nature. Sometimes, the ire over this sort of thing is not about insecurity at all. My parents have been happily married for 36 years, and if my dad knew some other guy was hitting on my mom on a regular basis, knowing that she's married, he would take it upon himself to settle the issue. It's not because he thinks my mom would cheat on him. It's because she's his wife, and he will not tolerate a man knowingly and willfully disrespecting that.
Why would your mother (or any generic woman in a similar situation ) continue spending time with someone who was doing that?
I will say this is the better explanation of it, IMO. And as far as it being on a regular basis, sometimes there's a fine line between just playing around and actually flirting/intending more. Can be hard to discern?
Re: the Miley Cyrus friend, now I wonder how my husband would handle himself if he were just good friends with Halle Berry and she propositioned him for more, LOL
My main one is Mike Rowe (I don't know if I need any others) and my SO has Salma Hayek and probably Jenna Elfman. Not sure who else.0 -
Am I glad I´m single or what...YES.
I see nothing wrong with people having friends both female and male friends. All people have to do is be honest and open about their friendship and possible include spouses. Be truthful and respectful of their spouses feelings and of their relationship.
It doesn´t matter woman or man, bother are just as likely to have an afair.
If your husband can´t handle you having a coffee with a coworker then he has a problem, you should ask him to cut all friendship to other women if he expects you to avoid communicating with men. I doubt he would like it, there for he can´t be mad or even be jealous.0 -
LOL I have to love that my male friends (many of whom I've known since before we reached puberty) apperantly have no self control and are slimy mindless sexual organs.... I've got to let them know
Seriously though more then once when hanging with the boys I have been referred to as a boy with boobs. We get drunk we talk stupid stuff plus sports and action movies . I've never cheated on anyone I've dated or when I was married. Its all about trust ..0 -
HUH??? I have TONS of guy friends, and even still have friends that I dated before my husband and I met that my husband has met and hung out with as well! My hubby is not jealous AT ALL because he knows I am faithful to him, and he thinks it's a compliment that guys like to hang around with me, including HIS friends. I grew up in the mountains and have always been a total tom boy and have always liked "guy stuff" more than dressing up or barbies.
On the flip side my hubster also has female friends that I have become friends with, one of whom has become a wonderful friend who, I informed him, I am keeping should we ever get divorced.
I honestly think jealousy is a mental illness, tied with being an insecure control freak. No thank you.0 -
my woman isn't allowed to wear anything revealing. she must also cook me dinner daily, massage my feet, and do whatever I say when I say it. She also cannot make eye contact at anyone of the opposite sex.0
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A guy once told me men are only as faithful as their options. I'm 32 and I still dont know if this is true or not. I'd like to think it isn't but an overwhelmingly majority of men I know have cheated at one point or another. This is definitely tainted my ability to trust anyone. =(
I can say I've never cheated, and I would never cheat. It is not worth ruining the lives of my children.0 -
A guy once told me men are only as faithful as their options.
If this is true, I'd rather stay single than have to police an adult's behavior.0 -
A guy once told me men are only as faithful as their options.
If this is true, I'd rather stay single than have to police an adult's behavior.
AGREED! That's BS. Women are JUST as unfaithful as men. I know lots of women who cheat.0 -
A guy once told me men are only as faithful as their options.
If this is true, I'd rather stay single than have to police an adult's behavior.
AGREED! That's BS. Women are JUST as unfaithful as men. I know lots of women who cheat.
I'm not saying they dont. I was only referring to my experiences but admittedly trust is something I seriously struggle with everyday. It is not fun.0 -
A guy once told me men are only as faithful as their options.
If this is true, I'd rather stay single than have to police an adult's behavior.
I would never police anyone's behavior. Totally agreed.0 -
A guy once told me men are only as faithful as their options.
If this is true, I'd rather stay single than have to police an adult's behavior.
It's another quote from the zebra impersonating Chris Rock!0 -
Same here. I hear too many stories of men cheating but very rarely that women cheat.
I don´t trust men, there for I have been single for 10 years and counting
My ex cheated on me with our mutual friend, I kicked them both out of my life. I trusted those people. What hurt me the most was the disrespect I was shown, how little I was valued, that I wasn´t worth telling he wanted out before stabbing me in my back for months. She came to our house, had sunday dinner with us all the time they were cheating.
It would probable not have hurt as much if I hadn´t known her.
People need to stop playing with other peoples feelings and disrespecting others.
I have seen too many women get badly hurt because of cheating spouses.
If you love someone you respect them enough to end it before starting something new.
Respect, honesty, faithfullness and trust is one of the biggest fondations of a relationship0 -
A guy once told me men are only as faithful as their options.
If this is true, I'd rather stay single than have to police an adult's behavior.
Agreed. That was kind of a scummy, man hating statement to make. I know many women who've been unfaithful and I know plenty of men who are cheaters too. Its a HUMAN BEING issue, not a gender issue.0 -
A guy once told me men are only as faithful as their options.
If this is true, I'd rather stay single than have to police an adult's behavior.
Agreed. That was kind of a scummy, man hating statement to make. I know many women who've been unfaithful and I know plenty of men who are cheaters too. Its a HUMAN BEING issue, not a gender issue.
Well to be fair, it was a man that told me that.0 -
A guy once told me men are only as faithful as their options.
If this is true, I'd rather stay single than have to police an adult's behavior.
Agreed. That was kind of a scummy, man hating statement to make. I know many women who've been unfaithful and I know plenty of men who are cheaters too. Its a HUMAN BEING issue, not a gender issue.
The dude was talking about himself, for sure.0 -
A man who was speaking for himself.A guy once told me men are only as faithful as their options.
If this is true, I'd rather stay single than have to police an adult's behavior.
Agreed. That was kind of a scummy, man hating statement to make. I know many women who've been unfaithful and I know plenty of men who are cheaters too. Its a HUMAN BEING issue, not a gender issue.
Well to be fair, it was a man that told me that.
A lot of women say nasty general things about women as an entire gender that are not actually true.0 -
A man who was speaking for himself.A guy once told me men are only as faithful as their options.
If this is true, I'd rather stay single than have to police an adult's behavior.
Agreed. That was kind of a scummy, man hating statement to make. I know many women who've been unfaithful and I know plenty of men who are cheaters too. Its a HUMAN BEING issue, not a gender issue.
Well to be fair, it was a man that told me that.
A lot of women say nasty general things about women as an entire gender that are not actually true.
Yeah, he totally generalized the statement to make himself feel better about being a complete sleazeball!0 -
A guy once told me men are only as faithful as their options.
If this is true, I'd rather stay single than have to police an adult's behavior.
Agreed. That was kind of a scummy, man hating statement to make. I know many women who've been unfaithful and I know plenty of men who are cheaters too. Its a HUMAN BEING issue, not a gender issue.
Well to be fair, it was a man that told me that.
OK, well allow another man to refute that claim. Or at least modify it.
*kitten* are only as faithful as their options.0 -
No one is ****ing around behind anyones backs. Your responses are all very typical and generic. When people like doing grimmy **** they say this.
Well babe if you trusted me you wouldn't mind me at the bar with my ex
Well your relationship is just insecure and mine isn't
Well flirting isn't cheating so its ok
Well if you weren't so insecure you wouldn't mind all the people I talk to online
Well honey if you weren't so insecure you wouldn't mind all that tumblr porn I watch.
^^ typical MANIPULATION tactics that people use on the weak minded who fall for it.
Because trust and understanding are signs of the weak minded.0 -
I feel very sad for you.No one is ****ing around behind anyones backs. Your responses are all very typical and generic. When people like doing grimmy **** they say this.
Well babe if you trusted me you wouldn't mind me at the bar with my ex
Well your relationship is just insecure and mine isn't
Well flirting isn't cheating so its ok
Well if you weren't so insecure you wouldn't mind all the people I talk to online
Well honey if you weren't so insecure you wouldn't mind all that tumblr porn I watch.
^^ typical MANIPULATION tactics that people use on the weak minded who fall for it.
If you're trolling, well, get a life.
And if you're not, this is a terribly sad view of the world and human beings.0 -
No one is ****ing around behind anyones backs. Your responses are all very typical and generic. When people like doing grimmy **** they say this.I believe Chris Rock explained it best when he said men don't have women friends they just have women they haven't fuc@ed yet.
Lol. This is what my husband says. I don't have any male friends (in real life) either....that would not go over well here. And no, not because he's insecure. He says he does not trust that a guy friend would never want/try anything more. FTR, I don't care if he has female friends. But he doesn't anyway.
Like isn't this topic NAIVE? ARE WE 12? All ANY woman has to do is turn to the guy friend and offer him a happy ending, MARRIED, SINGLE, TAKEN, he is gonna take the bait. He may be a friend, but he would sleep with these women married or not if they let it get to that place, and they are dumb to think otherwise. Sitting at home with a male friend, your man isn't going to be home for 3 hours, and they dont THINK if they offered something he would take it? Are they dumb?
You mispronounced 'jealousy'
Jealous of what exactly?
Relationships where you can trust your spouse not to *kitten* around behind your back at the drop of a hat.
Well babe if you trusted me you wouldn't mind me at the bar with my ex
Well your relationship is just insecure and mine isn't
Well flirting isn't cheating so its ok
Well if you weren't so insecure you wouldn't mind all the people I talk to online
Well honey if you weren't so insecure you wouldn't mind all that tumblr porn I watch.
^^ typical MANIPULATION tactics that people use on the weak minded who fall for it.
Well I'm not ****ing around and
1. I do trust him, and his ex is bat *kitten* crazy so if he is at the bar, it's picking her drunk but up to make sure she makes it home for her boys.
2. Never said your relationship is insecure, but neither is mine...last I checked only one judge for me and pretty sure he isn't hanging out on MFP.
3. I don't flirt...I have a pretty happy go lucky personality, so if you take niceness and the ability to handle a joke as flirtatious that sort of sucks.
4. I talk to all kinds of people from all walks of life here as part of a SUPPORT community. I don't tolerate inappropriateness towards me and neither does he..so trust isn't an issue there either.
5. We watch alot of porn on tumblr together...hell it's where we get new ideas..I'm old! (not really but it sounded good, the old part)
Trust is the key cornerstone of ANY relationship, friendship or otherwise, without it you have nothing. If someone has to tell you to trust them, yes, it's manipulation. However, my husband doesn't have to tell me to trust him he shows I can through actions and transparency, and I do the same. So no need to "limit" the gender of, or screen his friends. IT's about trust and respect, nothing to do with the gender of his friend.0 -
I think that friendship should not be restricted by gender. I've been married for 20 years, and I have more close guys friends then girls. It goes both ways. I encourage him to have women friends. When we were dating his ex-girlfriend was a girl that he had grown up with and I told him that when he was home I expected that he would want to call her and spend time with her. He currently has a female friend that he is pretty close with and last year they went to the West Coast Conferance Finals together.
I had an interesting conversation this weekend with my bestie's girlfriend. She said that she believes that God put me in his life to replace the sister that he lost in when he was in high school. And how good it is for him to have me in his life. I feel so lucky that he has a girlfriend that gets it. Some of my guy friends have had girlfriends that have issues with me, but they usually don't last too long.0 -
Like isn't this topic NAIVE? ARE WE 12? All ANY woman has to do is turn to the guy friend and offer him a happy ending, MARRIED, SINGLE, TAKEN, he is gonna take the bait. He may be a friend, but he would sleep with these women married or not if they let it get to that place, and they are dumb to think otherwise. Sitting at home with a male friend, your man isn't going to be home for 3 hours, and they dont THINK if they offered something he would take it? Are they dumb?
:huh:
So, I've been cheated on by an absolute dirt bag who couldn't keep it in his pants (the type you are referring to in your post).
And even after that horrible experience, I still can't jump on your bandwagon. I'm 99.9999% sure that the guy I'm dating now would never take that bait. Like ever.
I tend to like hanging out with guys more than girls, so I also have had my fair share of guy friends who have always been respectful to me and have never tried anything, whether I was in a relationship or single.
I'm sorry you live in a world where all the people you know are hedonistic, self-absorbed miscreants.0 -
Trust is the key cornerstone of ANY relationship, friendship or otherwise, without it you have nothing. If someone has to tell you to trust them, yes, it's manipulation. However, my husband doesn't have to tell me to trust him he shows I can through actions and transparency, and I do the same.
This. Exactly.
The words, "If you trusted, me ..." have never crossed either of our lips. We just live our lives and neither so far has any issues with the other's behavior. (At least not on this subject.)0 -
I am sorry you live in a fantasy land with unicorns and fairies where men actually want to be your friend, that isn't there real intentions.
So ... the men you know don't respect you. Got it.
The men in my life (SO and friends alike) respect me.0
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