Women in relationships aren't allowed to have male friends?
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He's cheating on you! That's why he's jealous! He's projecting his guilt onto you!0
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Trust is the key cornerstone of ANY relationship, friendship or otherwise, without it you have nothing. If someone has to tell you to trust them, yes, it's manipulation. However, my husband doesn't have to tell me to trust him he shows I can through actions and transparency, and I do the same.
This. Exactly.
The words, "If you trusted, me ..." have never crossed either of our lips. We just live our lives and neither so far has any issues with the other's behavior. (At least not on this subject.)
Exactly..never had to say "if you trusted me"0 -
I don't accept that. My best friend is male, but my friendship with him isn't separate from my Love. Maybe that's the difference? My fella had a problem with me going to a personal trainer's class without him- this guy being a mutual acquaintance... but he has no problem with my guy friends. Conversely, I ALWAYS keep it appropriate with my guy friends and I don't hide anything from my Love...
Don't accept it. It's my policy that if we support and love each other, and communicate well and act appropriately, there is no reason to limit our partner. Limitations tend to back me off.0 -
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They certainly behave as though they do. And when it's all said and done, isn't that all that matters? If they treat you with respect?I am sorry you live in a fantasy land with unicorns and fairies where men actually want to be your friend, that isn't there real intentions.
So ... the men you know don't respect you. Got it.
The men in my life (SO and friends alike) respect me.
Daww so cute, she thinks they actually respect her. Nice card.
Apparently, you don't have that kind of life. I'm very sorry about that. It's a sad way to live.0 -
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Who's talking about the men in the bar buying me shots? I barely drink, anyway.This was like when I was in my early 20s and my naive best friend thought those guys at the bar were buying her patron shots for her "intelligent conversation and great company"....Come on ladies, grow up.
I'm talking about my SO and my friends. People I actually know -- former coworkers, guys I went to school with. Not some random Joe in a bar trying to get laid.
You do realize the difference, right?0 -
This was like when I was in my early 20s and my naive best friend thought those guys at the bar were buying her patron shots for her "intelligent conversation and great company"....Come on ladies, grow up.
Your only in your mid 20's now?? Makes me wonder what has happened to make you so bitter at such a young age..I get it..I dated some real *kitten* and there are alot of men out there exactly as you are describing, but not all of them. One will come along that was raised right, treats you great, and would hang the moon for you. It took me until my 30's to find him and I dated alot of broken ones along the way...but to say all men would cheat given the opportunity is bitterness and a generalization...I hope one comes along and shows you the difference.0 -
Her profile says she's 29 and she's claimed in the thread that she's married.This was like when I was in my early 20s and my naive best friend thought those guys at the bar were buying her patron shots for her "intelligent conversation and great company"....Come on ladies, grow up.
Your only in your mid 20's now?? Makes me wonder what has happened to make you so bitter at such a young age..I get it..I dated some real *kitten* and there are alot of men out there exactly as you are describing, but not all of them. One will come along that was raised right, treats you great, and would hang the moon for you. It took me until my 30's to find him and I dated alot of broken ones along the way...but to say all men would cheat given the opportunity is bitterness and a generalization...I hope one comes along and shows you the difference.0 -
I have to agree with rawfoods on this one!
If you are hot! And I REPEAT! If your hot! And he's your friend! He'd do you if you offered him some hip!
The male of every species on this planets first primordial instinct IS To procreate his own blood line!
To think differently or to think men have evolved past this is just foolish!
I tell you what, the next time you are hangin' alone with one of your male friends, run this experiment!
Tell him you really horny! Tell him you need to get Fu@%ed!
Just sit back and be dumbfounded by his response!
Guaranteed he'll bite!
Now if you are average looking he probably can look at you in a platonic way!0 -
No one is ****ing around behind anyones backs. Your responses are all very typical and generic. When people like doing grimmy **** they say this.
Well babe if you trusted me you wouldn't mind me at the bar with my ex
Well your relationship is just insecure and mine isn't
Well flirting isn't cheating so its ok
Well if you weren't so insecure you wouldn't mind all the people I talk to online
Well honey if you weren't so insecure you wouldn't mind all that tumblr porn I watch.
^^ typical MANIPULATION tactics that people use on the weak minded who fall for it.
Because trust and understanding are signs of the weak minded.
More manipulation tactics people use to do dirt
So I work with 95% men, all of my immediate coworkers are men. Am I not supposed to be friends with them? Hide in a corner and avoid conversation? Go for lunch and coffee by myself? If I do these things, am I "doing dirt?"0 -
Having male friends should never be a problem, with that being said...NONE of the male friends should be EX's. I just got out of a relationship where my girlfriend could not part ways with her EX's and it became a problem, i.e. going on vacations with them, going to dinner, texting, calling, going to their children's weddings. Trying to meet new male friends from MFP while on working trips. Her attitude and reluctance to see that is was ruining our relationshop was intoleralbe, the irony is, it didn't take her a week after I left for her to be back with her EX before me.0
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They certainly behave as though they do. And when it's all said and done, isn't that all that matters? If they treat you with respect?I am sorry you live in a fantasy land with unicorns and fairies where men actually want to be your friend, that isn't there real intentions.
So ... the men you know don't respect you. Got it.
The men in my life (SO and friends alike) respect me.
Daww so cute, she thinks they actually respect her. Nice card.
Apparently, you don't have that kind of life. I'm very sorry about that. It's a sad way to live.
Whats a sad way to live? Being in a secure marriage that doesn't require outsides people to fulfill my life? Sorry your relationships cant be that good and some of you still even have to hang out with your exs. Yeah people I know from towns with like 2k people do that. But ITS not the norm. I know someone whos best man was an ex of the girlfriends, but in a small town some of those girls have every other dude as an ex. 99% of the girls I have met that say "chicks are to much drama thats why all my friends are dudes" have slept with at least half of them, dog other girls when they come around to take their attention, and are actually the most DRAMA filled ones.
It's sad that those are the kinds of people you have been exposed to in order to shape your views. Not everyone is that way. I'm in a secure marriage and no one has said anything about outside people to fill fullfilled..just that we have friends of opposite gender...if the rest of the world died tomorrow I would still have my husband, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be social with other people.0 -
A life where men disrespect you to the point that you think they only talk to you or have any kind of nonromantic relationship with you and aren't trying to sleep with you.Whats a sad way to live?
It's sad that you think that's all you have to offer and the only thing they can appreciate.0 -
Her profile says she's 29 and she's claimed in the thread that she's married.This was like when I was in my early 20s and my naive best friend thought those guys at the bar were buying her patron shots for her "intelligent conversation and great company"....Come on ladies, grow up.
Your only in your mid 20's now?? Makes me wonder what has happened to make you so bitter at such a young age..I get it..I dated some real *kitten* and there are alot of men out there exactly as you are describing, but not all of them. One will come along that was raised right, treats you great, and would hang the moon for you. It took me until my 30's to find him and I dated alot of broken ones along the way...but to say all men would cheat given the opportunity is bitterness and a generalization...I hope one comes along and shows you the difference.
I think that's been changed recently...I could have sworn it said 26 earlier when I pulled it up..but my bad..though late 20's isn't very old either...0 -
Based on the level of writing in this post, I'm not surprised you think men have not evolved past the point of humping every willing female in range.I have to agree with rawfoods on this one!
If you are hot! And I REPEAT! If your hot! And he's your friend! He'd do you if you offered him some hip!
The male of every species on this planets first primordial instinct IS To procreate his own blood line!
To think differently or to think men have evolved past this is just foolish!
I tell you what, the next time you are hangin' alone with one of your male friends, run this experiment!
Tell him you really horny! Tell him you need to get Fu@%ed!
Just sit back and be dumbfounded by his response!
Guaranteed he'll bite!So I work with 95% men, all of my immediate coworkers are men. Am I not supposed to be friends with them? Hide in a corner and avoid conversation? Go for lunch and coffee by myself? If I do these things, am I "doing dirt?"
You mean you aren't having constant orgies in the workplace? How DO you all manage to keep your clothes on? Clearly, this is not possible.0 -
Her profile says she's 29 and she's claimed in the thread that she's married.This was like when I was in my early 20s and my naive best friend thought those guys at the bar were buying her patron shots for her "intelligent conversation and great company"....Come on ladies, grow up.
Your only in your mid 20's now?? Makes me wonder what has happened to make you so bitter at such a young age..I get it..I dated some real *kitten* and there are alot of men out there exactly as you are describing, but not all of them. One will come along that was raised right, treats you great, and would hang the moon for you. It took me until my 30's to find him and I dated alot of broken ones along the way...but to say all men would cheat given the opportunity is bitterness and a generalization...I hope one comes along and shows you the difference.
I think that's been changed recently...I could have sworn it said 26 earlier when I pulled it up..but my bad..though late 20's isn't very old either...
I'm pretty sure she (he maybe even) is a troll, so it's entirely possible the age was changed.0 -
I dont have male friends that i hang out with alone and my husband doesnt have female friends that he hangs out with alone. Wasnt planned it just ended up that way. All of my male friends dropped me when I got engaged and I havent really made any new male friends since then. We also agree that its not acceptable for one of us to hang out with the opposite sex alone out of respect for our relationship, nor do we want too. It just depends on the couple and what you consider appropriate.0
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Lets clear up some of the idiotic assumptions here.
First off, no one can tell you who to be friends with, my husband doesn't tell me who to be friends with and vice versa. When you are married, you typically do things with your spouse or together as a group, our friends both male and female are mutual. Do I think going out to dinner with an ex or going to a party with an ex while your S/O is sitting at home alone is appropriate? NO. Every single female I have ever been close friends with, who surrounded themselves with nothing but guys, who texted other guys all the time, who had the "male best friend" they told everything to, were underhanded doing inappropriate things. Like if he texts and your heart skips a beat or you get excited thats NOT a friendship. Most of my female friends shamelessly flirt with their "male friends" in text and act like its nothing. Most 50 year old married people I know generally hang out with each other, they aren't "BESTIES" with their exs or hanging out with the opposite sex daily. They are living their adult lives.0 -
Based on the level of writing in this post, I'm not surprised you think men have not evolved past the point of humping every willing female in range.I have to agree with rawfoods on this one!
If you are hot! And I REPEAT! If your hot! And he's your friend! He'd do you if you offered him some hip!
The male of every species on this planets first primordial instinct IS To procreate his own blood line!
To think differently or to think men have evolved past this is just foolish!
I tell you what, the next time you are hangin' alone with one of your male friends, run this experiment!
Tell him you really horny! Tell him you need to get Fu@%ed!
Just sit back and be dumbfounded by his response!
Guaranteed he'll bite!
I assure you you have nothing to worry about with your male friends!0 -
I dont have male friends that i hang out with alone and my husband doesnt have female friends that he hangs out with alone. Wasnt planned it just ended up that way. All of my male friends dropped me when I got engaged and I havent really made any new male friends since then. We also agree that its not acceptable for one of us to hang out with the opposite sex alone out of respect for our relationship, nor do we want too. It just depends on the couple and what you consider appropriate.
If you have an overwhelming NEED and WANT to hang out with the opposite sex your relationship is already failing0 -
Her profile says she's 29 and she's claimed in the thread that she's married.This was like when I was in my early 20s and my naive best friend thought those guys at the bar were buying her patron shots for her "intelligent conversation and great company"....Come on ladies, grow up.
Your only in your mid 20's now?? Makes me wonder what has happened to make you so bitter at such a young age..I get it..I dated some real *kitten* and there are alot of men out there exactly as you are describing, but not all of them. One will come along that was raised right, treats you great, and would hang the moon for you. It took me until my 30's to find him and I dated alot of broken ones along the way...but to say all men would cheat given the opportunity is bitterness and a generalization...I hope one comes along and shows you the difference.
I think that's been changed recently...I could have sworn it said 26 earlier when I pulled it up..but my bad..though late 20's isn't very old either...
I'm pretty sure she (he maybe even) is a troll, so it's entirely possible the age was changed.
Yeah...after reading some of the other recent posts...this person is full of alot of anger, bitterness, and hate...:frown:0 -
I think there are a lot of variables to this conversation.
I've been with my husband since college (age 19). We don't have a lot of 'my friends vs. your friends', most of the friends we see regularly are 'couple friends'. I have a couple of girlfriends I go to lunch with on occasion, and he has friends through the office. Some I know, some I don't. He goes to happy hour once in a while or grabs a beer with the guys when I'm watching Project Runway
I have no problem with him having female friends, and he doesn't have any issue with me having male friends. Although, if I said, 'hey honey, I'm going out to the bar with Joey tonight instead of you', that would probably be a problem.
Honestly, with busy work schedules, kids' sports and activities, and housework, we don't get a lot of 'down time.' My feelings would be hurt if he chose to spend that time consistently with another woman (or man, for that matter) rather than me. AND, if he mysteriously had some new female BFF that he was meeting for happy hour or texting all the time, I would be leery of it. It just wouldn't 'feel right' to me. I know he'd feel the same if the roles were reversed. It's not that I don't trust him (or him, me), it would just be out of character. (We've been married almost 16 years and have 14 and 12 year old kids).
Really, at the end of the day, it's about being present in the moment with your SO too. I don't spend a ton of time chatting/texting with anyone when we're together. I try to focus on him. He does the same with me. It's really more about spending quality time together, rather than the gender of our friends.0 -
Based on the level of writing in this post, I'm not surprised you think men have not evolved past the point of humping every willing female in range.I have to agree with rawfoods on this one!
If you are hot! And I REPEAT! If your hot! And he's your friend! He'd do you if you offered him some hip!
The male of every species on this planets first primordial instinct IS To procreate his own blood line!
To think differently or to think men have evolved past this is just foolish!
I tell you what, the next time you are hangin' alone with one of your male friends, run this experiment!
Tell him you really horny! Tell him you need to get Fu@%ed!
Just sit back and be dumbfounded by his response!
Guaranteed he'll bite!I assure you you have nothing to worry about with your male friends!
Aw. You're sweet.0 -
I have to agree with rawfoods on this one!
If you are hot! And I REPEAT! If your hot! And he's your friend! He'd do you if you offered him some hip!
The male of every species on this planets first primordial instinct IS To procreate his own blood line!
To think differently or to think men have evolved past this is just foolish!
I tell you what, the next time you are hangin' alone with one of your male friends, run this experiment!
Tell him you really horny! Tell him you need to get Fu@%ed!
Just sit back and be dumbfounded by his response!
Guaranteed he'll bite!
Now if you are average looking he probably can look at you in a platonic way!
This whole topic is full of foolishness. Like "oh we just hang out and watch movies for 3 hours before my husband gets home from work"...Like huh?0 -
Lets clear up some of the idiotic assumptions here.
First off, no one can tell you who to be friends with, my husband doesn't tell me who to be friends with and vice versa. When you are married, you typically do things with your spouse or together as a group, our friends both male and female are mutual. Do I think going out to dinner with an ex or going to a party with an ex while your S/O is sitting at home alone is appropriate? NO. Every single female I have ever been close friends with, who surrounded themselves with nothing but guys, who texted other guys all the time, who had the "male best friend" they told everything to, were underhanded doing inappropriate things. Like if he texts and your heart skips a beat or you get excited thats NOT a friendship. Most of my female friends shamelessly flirt with their "male friends" in text and act like its nothing. Most 50 year old married people I know generally hang out with each other, they aren't "BESTIES" with their exs or hanging out with the opposite sex daily. They are living their adult lives.
You are assigning very narrow roles to the friendship. Based on your other posts I'm shocked, really, that you have such a very narrow view and don't consider other options.
There can be more to a friendship than what you are describing.0 -
Based on the level of writing in this post, I'm not surprised you think men have not evolved past the point of humping every willing female in range.I have to agree with rawfoods on this one!
If you are hot! And I REPEAT! If your hot! And he's your friend! He'd do you if you offered him some hip!
The male of every species on this planets first primordial instinct IS To procreate his own blood line!
To think differently or to think men have evolved past this is just foolish!
I tell you what, the next time you are hangin' alone with one of your male friends, run this experiment!
Tell him you really horny! Tell him you need to get Fu@%ed!
Just sit back and be dumbfounded by his response!
Guaranteed he'll bite!
I assure you you have nothing to worry about with your male friends!
That was uncalled for.
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So I work with 95% men, all of my immediate coworkers are men. Am I not supposed to be friends with them? Hide in a corner and avoid conversation? Go for lunch and coffee by myself? If I do these things, am I "doing dirt?"
You mean you aren't having constant orgies in the workplace? How DO you all manage to keep your clothes on? Clearly, this is not possible.
Well, there was that one time.....
But seriously, I know, I must be an anomaly.0 -
I think there are a lot of variables to this conversation.
I've been with my husband since college (age 19). We don't have a lot of 'my friends vs. your friends', most of the friends we see regularly are 'couple friends'. I have a couple of girlfriends I go to lunch with on occasion, and he has friends through the office. Some I know, some I don't. He goes to happy hour once in a while or grabs a beer with the guys when I'm watching Project Runway
I have no problem with him having female friends, and he doesn't have any issue with me having male friends. Although, if I said, 'hey honey, I'm going out to the bar with Joey tonight instead of you', that would probably be a problem.
Honestly, with busy work schedules, kids' sports and activities, and housework, we don't get a lot of 'down time.' My feelings would be hurt if he chose to spend that time consistently with another woman (or man, for that matter) rather than me. AND, if he mysteriously had some new female BFF that he was meeting for happy hour or texting all the time, I would be leery of it. It just wouldn't 'feel right' to me. I know he'd feel the same if the roles were reversed. It's not that I don't trust him (or him, me), it would just be out of character. (We've been married almost 16 years and have 14 and 12 year old kids).
Really, at the end of the day, it's about being present in the moment with your SO too. I don't spend a ton of time chatting/texting with anyone when we're together. I try to focus on him. He does the same with me. It's really more about spending quality time together, rather than the gender of our friends.
Great way to sum it up! As we are a couple all of our friends have become mutual friends. He has become friends with my best friends boyfriend, who I'm running a 5K with in a few weeks..my husband is going to stay home with our newborn (too cold here for her to be out) so we can run this 5K because his woman is working. HOw is that bad??0 -
When you are married, you typically do things with your spouse or together as a group, our friends both male and female are mutual.
I work 7-3:30 Monday through Friday. My SO's current schedule is 10-8:30 or 10-9:30 Friday through Sunday, then 5-2:30 on Monday. His days off are not the same as mine.
He is also in the Reserves and one weekend every month is 200 miles away. We also often, by necessity, go out of town separately (such as when my best friend threw a birthday party for her sister, whom I've known since she was born, out of town and my SO couldn't get out of work to go with me).
Am I supposed to not see friends or leave the house because he can't chaperone me and make sure I don't get into any trouble? Or vice versa? Some of the women he drills with are married and they are friends and they hang out on drill wekeends when I'm not their and the women's hubands aren't there. Should they just stay in their rooms all night and twiddle their thumbs because they lack chaperones?0
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