Women in relationships aren't allowed to have male friends?

rml_16

Aight then dont say nothing if my best friend is miley cyrus and yours is bill ny the science guy. phair is phair

OMG. Bill Nye? Gimme that brain! Yummy!

I will also take Lyle Lovett, TYVM.

funforsports

Take what you can get, I wouldn't even let you out of the kitchen.

ironanimal

It's not so much a trust issue with your partner as with the men, IMO. Being that I've grown up knowing quite a few of them, I know the majority of them are slimy --rhymes with punts-- who would jump and pressure any opportunity they perceived themselves to have.

That said, I don't dictate who my partner can talk to, but I have had moments where I've grumbled about it. Insecurity on my part? Probably. I confess to that quite freely.

I just realized that I havent had a RL female friend in my adult life that I didnt want to bang. Hmmm.

I can trump this by not having a RL female friend in my adult life. I've never really met a woman besides my partner who I have anything in common with.

ThinLizzie0802

Because women are the weaker gender and they cannot be trusted with their feelings. Who knows when feelings will overwhelm you and you will jump on that "friend". There is a reason all women are strictly prohibited from talking to men or even showing their face/bodies in the middle east.

Eff dat

calibriintx

Aight then dont say nothing if my best friend is miley cyrus and yours is bill ny the science guy. phair is phair

IwearBatmanUndies

Im talking bout looking lik ethis but, with all her twerking and craziness

IwearBatmanUndies

Aight then dont say nothing if my best friend is miley cyrus and yours is bill ny the science guy. phair is phair

hahahaha

sarahrbraun

So I have been in a relationship now for 5 years, and in this time I have started to see some double standards in my own relationship along with friends relationships. Why is it that it is completely acceptable for a man in a relationship to be friends with women (and by relationship I mean texting each other, gong to events on occasion, getting lunch, etc.), but when a woman in a relationship is friends with another man (same type of relationship as I described above) it is completely taboo? I mean my boyfriend would never tell me I "couldn't" be friends with another man. But he already gets a little defensive if I tell him I grabbed coffee with a male coworker while on a break.

I feel like a woman gets the title of being uncaring or insensitive if she ignores the norm and is friends with a man. I have even heard my female friends say a girl is bring "slutty" if she is friends with men while in a relationship.

It would be great to get some insight and understanding into why this double standard is acceptable. I guess I take part of the blame because I have allowed it to happen, but I would like to hear other insights as well

According to MY male friend, society tends to have problems understanding that men and women can have a platonic relationship. My husband is one of those who has trouble understanding it, even though HE has had several platonic female friends over the 19 years we have been together.

Several months ago my husband found out that my friend, who he has never met, had stopped by the house and had coffee with me. he told me he wasn't thrilled with it. I told him that with all due respect, I understand that he is worried about my safety around "strange" men, but that my friend is NOT a strange man. My friend is VERY respectful, and would not poach another man's wife...heck, he wouldn't even call me or text me until I did it first. I feel 100% sure that I would not come to any harm alone with my friend, and he has never gone further than to hug me.

TheSlorax

I just realized that I havent had a RL female friend in my adult life that I didnt want to bang. Hmmm.

SLORE

whierd

I just realized that I havent had a RL female friend in my adult life that I didnt want to bang. Hmmm.

SLORE

I DIDNT SAY THAT I DID!!!

Mostly because I have no game.

ItsCasey

I believe Chris Rock explained it best when he said men don't have women friends they just have women they haven't fuc@ed yet.

Lol. This is what my husband says. I don't have any male friends (in real life) either....that would not go over well here. And no, not because he's insecure. He says he does not trust that a guy friend would never want/try anything more. FTR, I don't care if he has female friends. But he doesn't anyway.

But does he trust that you would say no? Because that's what matters.

A man can try something with you all day long. If you say no, then what difference does it make?

I would certainly end that kind of friendship because that friend is disrespectful. But what your SO is actually saying is that he doesn't think you are capable of saying no when propositioned for sex.

I have a different take on this if we're talking about married couples. Men are very territorial by nature. Sometimes, the ire over this sort of thing is not about insecurity at all. My parents have been happily married for 36 years, and if my dad knew some other guy was hitting on my mom on a regular basis, knowing that she's married, he would take it upon himself to settle the issue. It's not because he thinks my mom would cheat on him. It's because she's his wife, and he will not tolerate a man knowingly and willfully disrespecting that.

bacitracin

So I have been in a relationship now for 5 years, and in this time I have started to see some double standards in my own relationship along with friends relationships. Why is it that it is completely acceptable for a man in a relationship to be friends with women (and by relationship I mean texting each other, gong to events on occasion, getting lunch, etc.), but when a woman in a relationship is friends with another man (same type of relationship as I described above) it is completely taboo? I mean my boyfriend would never tell me I "couldn't" be friends with another man. But he already gets a little defensive if I tell him I grabbed coffee with a male coworker while on a break.

I feel like a woman gets the title of being uncaring or insensitive if she ignores the norm and is friends with a man. I have even heard my female friends say a girl is bring "slutty" if she is friends with men while in a relationship.

It would be great to get some insight and understanding into why this double standard is acceptable. I guess I take part of the blame because I have allowed it to happen, but I would like to hear other insights as well

It's the people you associate with. None of that is remotely true in my social circle.

Tiernan1212

I dont have any troubles. I have a great relationship. Unlike these people seeking emotional comfort from the opposite sex who ISN'T their s/o and masking it as "friendship". You can keep reaching though

I'm glad you're in a great relationship, and that you're happy with your spouse

However, just because I have a different viewpoint from you about the situation does that make my viewpoint wrong? I disagree with you, yet I'm happy your relationship works for you.

In my life experience I have always had more male friends than female friends. I've always been a tomboy, never been overly girly, etc. I incorporate my SO into my friendships with guys. He trusts me, and he has met the friends I hang out with, and a lot of the time hangs out with all of us and has a great time. He has a few female friends, I've met two of them, and they seem like cool people. He has had an issue with one guy I was friends with at work (we work at the same place, but different shifts). He told me how this guy acted (not my behaviour) made him uncomfortable. I said cool, thank you for telling me, and I ended the friendship. We trust each other, that's all that matters to me.

heylookitsval

The things I'd do to this man...

Edwin_S

bump..this is a good topic i just want to go get some popcorn and enjoy

rml_16

I believe Chris Rock explained it best when he said men don't have women friends they just have women they haven't fuc@ed yet.

Lol. This is what my husband says. I don't have any male friends (in real life) either....that would not go over well here. And no, not because he's insecure. He says he does not trust that a guy friend would never want/try anything more. FTR, I don't care if he has female friends. But he doesn't anyway.

But does he trust that you would say no? Because that's what matters.

A man can try something with you all day long. If you say no, then what difference does it make?

I would certainly end that kind of friendship because that friend is disrespectful. But what your SO is actually saying is that he doesn't think you are capable of saying no when propositioned for sex.

I have a different take on this if we're talking about married couples. Men are very territorial by nature. Sometimes, the ire over this sort of thing is not about insecurity at all. My parents have been happily married for 36 years, and if my dad knew some other guy was hitting on my mom on a regular basis, knowing that she's married, he would take it upon himself to settle the issue. It's not because he thinks my mom would cheat on him. It's because she's his wife, and he will not tolerate a man knowingly and willfully disrespecting that.

Why would your mother (or any generic woman in a similar situation ) continue spending time with someone who was doing that?

BusyRaeNOTBusty

The things I'd do to this man...

Him and his "happy little tree".

illuvatree

The double standard isn't acceptable at all, despite what society allows.

I mean, what if someone doesn't just like the opposite sex? Likes both? Is that person allowed to hang out with NO ONE?

IwearBatmanUndies

The things I'd do to this man...

Him and his "happy little tree".

Ah yess...'girll lemme paint you"