Why is there SO MUCH negativity here?!

jofjltncb6 · November 2013

An honest opinion is not the same as a **** comment. Which i think is what shes talking about. Because there are plenty of those here.

And lets be honest. This isn't a run of the mill site. Its not friggin imgur or reddit. Many of the people here are overweight and very sensitive about it. Myself included. So of course when you need support or a pat on the back the last thing you want to read is a bunch of people shooting you down. And anyone that's ever felt bad about themselves should understand that.

But no. SO many of you wanna trample all over peoples feelings and be snarky, sarcastic a**holes. Well. Congrats. YOU are the wittiest people on MFP. WHoopWHoop

Where? WHERE WHERE WHERE??? MFP mods take that kind of thing very seriously. They delete those comments and issue strikes. I've seen it happen, so yes, those comments are made...but they're very quickly dealt with.

I can't help but think that we are working with very different definitions of those asterisks...(which, amusingly enough (or at least it is amusing to me), are a clear violation of the Community Guidelines (all hail)).

LuLuChick78 · November 2013

An honest opinion is not the same as a **** comment. Which i think is what shes talking about. Because there are plenty of those here.

And lets be honest. This isn't a run of the mill site. Its not friggin imgur or reddit. Many of the people here are overweight and very sensitive about it. Myself included. So of course when you need support or a pat on the back the last thing you want to read is a bunch of people shooting you down. And anyone that's ever felt bad about themselves should understand that.

But no. SO many of you wanna trample all over peoples feelings and be snarky, sarcastic a**holes. Well. Congrats. YOU are the wittiest people on MFP. WHoopWHoop

Those sensitive flowers should stick to obtaining advice strictly from friends, family and their friend list then. BUT when they willingly open themselves up to the general masses of MFP then they are going to hear some hard truths and not sugar coated bs.

Cheechos · November 2013

If I see a comment that looks snarky or whatever then I just tell myself that the majority of tone is lost over online communication. Whether or not a person is actually being a jerk varies case by case, but staying away from getting on the defensive in general helps me take a step back before I lash out at someone who could honestly just be trying to help or share their own experience. That being said, I also try to word my own comments in a way that allows them to be be read as positively as possible, as I will never believe that honesty and politeness are mutually exclusive.

rml_16 · November 2013

An honest opinion is not the same as a **** comment. Which i think is what shes talking about. Because there are plenty of those here.

Example, please, with link.

KeViN_v2pt0 · November 2013

AllonsYtotheTardis · November 2013

An honest opinion is not the same as a **** comment. Which i think is what shes talking about. Because there are plenty of those here.

And lets be honest. This isn't a run of the mill site. Its not friggin imgur or reddit. Many of the people here are overweight and very sensitive about it. Myself included. So of course when you need support or a pat on the back the last thing you want to read is a bunch of people shooting you down. And anyone that's ever felt bad about themselves should understand that.

But no. SO many of you wanna trample all over peoples feelings and be snarky, sarcastic a**holes. Well. Congrats. YOU are the wittiest people on MFP. WHoopWHoop

Support and a pat on the back were what kept me obese. Why on earth would I inflict that on someone else? Straight talk got me the information I actually needed, and now I am no longer overweight, and my health is much better :cauliflowerforallthemeankids:

AllonsYtotheTardis · November 2013

Even if you are moving the pace of a snail you are running circles around the person sitting on the couch with a bowl of ice cream and a bag of potato chips!

I sat on the couch and ate some Zingers last night. Night before that I had a bunch of cookies and a bowl of ice cream.

No potato chips though.

Guess I'm making no progress.

*passes the chips bag to Jonnythan*

jonnythan · November 2013

Even if you are moving the pace of a snail you are running circles around the person sitting on the couch with a bowl of ice cream and a bag of potato chips!

I sat on the couch and ate some Zingers last night. Night before that I had a bunch of cookies and a bowl of ice cream.

No potato chips though.

Guess I'm making no progress.

*passes the chips bag to Jonnythan*

Well that took long enough. I was afraid I'd have to ask.

Thanks!

Yetta729 · November 2013

A pat on the back is the last thing overweight, sensitive people need, frankly.

Look at all the people who started out fat and are now in amazing shape. Pretty much none of them will tell you that it all started with a pat on the back and a "there there." They'll tell you it was a tough learning process full of accepting hard truths. They'll tell you that the core of the experience was a dramatic change in the way the looked at and understood themselves, the world around them, and the relationship between the two.

The path from fat and being unable to control yourself to a fit, disciplined work of art involves you being more critical of yourself than anyone else will ever be. It involves challenge and determination and discipline and accepting that what you've done so far is pathetically substandard.

Disagree? Well, before you post take a look in the mirror and assess your own success first.

Where is the "like" button for this?

harlanJEN · November 2013

Isn't this supposed to be a place of support? Time after time I see threads of success and someone rips them a new one for doing it differently then themselves. TDEE isn't for everyone. Paleo isn't for everyone. High carb high sugar eat everything in moderation isn't for everyone. But, no, people with zero medical skill pipe in about how wrong someone's diet choices are. Seriously, how awful is that? Can't we just say, "RIGHT ON!" and move along? What kind of a support system IS this?!

WHERE ARE MY POSITIVE PEOPLE AT?!

I get what you are saying... but yeah TDEE kinda is for everyone... see if you are losing weight then you are at a deficit of TDEE, if you are maintaining then you are at TDEE, and if you are gaining then you are above TDEE... no way around it, that's the science. Of course how you choose to get to your deficit/maintenance/surplus, what foods you choose to eat, your chosen macros, etc can be a matter of preference and potentially up for debate.

We can disagree and still be supportive of the choice to be healthier.

I think a lot of people have really thin skin and take light-hearted jokes, snark, and gifs as though they are all out brutal attacks on all that is good in the world, when really we just like to use a little hyperbole to make our points in a more entertaining way. Even if you disagree with it you can appreciate the humor and creativity (or attempt thereof). Typically if a comedian on a stage makes fun of your race/religion/habits/etc you don't get all offended, you disagree but enjoy it anyway (at least I do).

I'm taking a "mental" break from my work by cruising the forms here on MFP and landed on this one. : ) I've been around these parts for nearly 900 days and I must say: it's what you make of it. I've had nothing but a positive experience. Maybe it's because I choose to have a positive experience. IDK.

With that said .. I think the post above pretty much captures it. So .. I won't read the thread any further.

Take the "good", take the "bad", mix it up and come away with what you need.

Good luck .. finding the support team you seek !

Jen

towens00 · November 2013

An honest opinion is not the same as a **** comment. Which i think is what shes talking about. Because there are plenty of those here.

And lets be honest. This isn't a run of the mill site. Its not friggin imgur or reddit. Many of the people here are overweight and very sensitive about it. Myself included. So of course when you need support or a pat on the back the last thing you want to read is a bunch of people shooting you down. And anyone that's ever felt bad about themselves should understand that.

But no. SO many of you wanna trample all over peoples feelings and be snarky, sarcastic a**holes. Well. Congrats. YOU are the wittiest people on MFP. WHoopWHoop

A pat on the back is the last thing overweight, sensitive people need, frankly.

Look at all the people who started out fat and are now in amazing shape. Pretty much none of them will tell you that it all started with a pat on the back and a "there there." They'll tell you it was a tough learning process full of accepting hard truths. They'll tell you that the core of the experience was a dramatic change in the way the looked at and understood themselves, the world around them, and the relationship between the two.

The path from fat and being unable to control yourself to a fit, disciplined work of art involves you being more critical of yourself than anyone else will ever be. It involves challenge and determination and discipline and accepting that what you've done so far is pathetically substandard.

Disagree? Well, before you post take a look in the mirror and assess your own success first.

Love this!! Wish I'd had more hard truths & less pats, while I maintained 50lbs being overweight for 20 years. I welcome snark, LOL

wheird · November 2013

An honest opinion is not the same as a **** comment. Which i think is what shes talking about. Because there are plenty of those here.

And lets be honest. This isn't a run of the mill site. Its not friggin imgur or reddit. Many of the people here are overweight and very sensitive about it. Myself included. So of course when you need support or a pat on the back the last thing you want to read is a bunch of people shooting you down. And anyone that's ever felt bad about themselves should understand that.

But no. SO many of you wanna trample all over peoples feelings and be snarky, sarcastic a**holes. Well. Congrats. YOU are the wittiest people on MFP. WHoopWHoop

Reported for personal attacks and general meanness.