What's going on with the MFP bad attitudes? :(

iatemyelf

If you are hurt by comments, grow an extra skin, because things are not going to change on the Internet.

what's this? i don't even...

wow. there's always going to be complete jerks in life, does that mean we should ALL walk around like and insult/beat/kill/rape whomever we want? yeah, no thanks. there's plenty of room for civility in the real world and on the internet.

what a great reason to be a jerk or do things that disparage people... "not going to change"! were you against the civil rights movement, too? do you think women shouldn't vote? do you think we should still have slaves? hate to brake it to you, but things change... ALL THE TIME. this should be obvious.

if you'd rather be a jerk than show a little civility, don't hide behind your BS reasoning that it's just the internet way of doing things and admit you're just an *kitten*.

Comparing sarcasm on the internet to:
1) Beating
2) Raping
3) Killing
4) Slavery

Yeah, this is going to end well.

whooooooooshshhhhhh, right over your head.

Because making light of/being sarcastic about those issues is *so much* better.

i just don't understand you. who's making light of those issues or diminishing them? why is your focus on sarcasm here? do you sincerely think that sarcasm is the meanest thing people can do on the internet or real life?

the jerk before had the reasoning that "well, people are jerks on the internet, i don't think it's going to change, so might as well be a jerk myself instead of being a decent human being." doing something that is generally perceived as being "morally wrong" or "bad" or "evil" or even in "poor taste" just because other people do it and have been doing it for a long time is absolutely stupid. i'm sorry you completely missed that. do you still not understand the parallel i was drawing?

people insult each other in real life, so we should just do that just because it's always going to happen, right? people assault others in real life, that hasn't changed for a bajillion years, so let's just go around and beat up whomever we want? and so on and so on. do you understand now? just because people do mean or horrible things, and have always and will probably still continue to do so, that's really no good reason to do them yourself or not even ATTEMPT to rectify the situation.

TX_Rhon

wow......just 'effin wow! :noway:

I have a very straight forward personality and do not sugar coat (cuz let's face it, sugar is the devil) solicited advice!! I make no apologies for that nor do I apologize for my sarcastic sense of humor. It would suck to be offended by everything!!!

I am also very supportive to those on my friends list. If they are not eating enough calories or fruits and veggies - I will say something and expect the same in return.

I think it has become a progression:
Poster: Why...insert ur question
People responding: reasons
Poster: OMG why would you tell me that?
People responding: because you asked
Poster: you people are mean!!!

It gets old and opens the door to a ton of sarcasm once on page 8 or 9 of the same, tired "thread of the day!" Like: which is worse, sugar or fat? kinda post.

Just my two cents.......

:flowerforyou:

littleburgy

I was a little surprised by some of the posts on here when I first joined the boards, but you can't let it bother you too much. It's a little like offline life... Not everyone is going to see eye to eye or get along, but you can find like minded and relatable people, too.

In general (on and offline) I sometimes see spikes of pissyness in people when fall starts getting dark and cold and daylight savings ends, myself included.

golfmonk

This is not a baby sitting service, if you post something that does not make one ounce of sense, people and myself included are not going to lay down and play dead.

Seriously?? I think you need some babysitting.

Nicely done! (and probably true!)

bunnybutler29

I do agree that some of the post do get a little ridiculous and some take it to an extreme of being mean. Like why stalk the person and investigate into the past post they may have written. Everyone is entitled to their opinions and im usually around just for the show....someone pass the popcorn. Even this post is not immune to nasty sarcasm and things should pick up in a few more pages.

Myhaloslipped

I have found that it is best to avoid posting rants unless they are more general rather than personal. No one is ever going to hear what they want to hear in the manner most pleasing to them from strangers with objective points of view.

Malaylah

bump

Tropical_Turtle

Guess we all need to fart rainbows and ride unicorns around you, and forget keeping it REAL. Life isn't easy, even on the internet.

I guess if you do not agree with what people tell you it would be considered rude and judgmental and that they have a bad attitude.

socajam

This is not a baby sitting service, if you post something that does not make one ounce of sense, people and myself included are not going to lay down and play dead.

Seriously?? I think you need some babysitting.

Nicely done! (and probably true!)

That two for the service coming up.

Mr_Knight

What, this again?

How many of these threads to do we need?

Mr_Knight

This is not a baby sitting service, if you post something that does not make one ounce of sense, people and myself included are not going to lay down and play dead.

You seriously have nothing better to do with your time?

Really?

golfmonk

This is not a baby sitting service, if you post something that does not make one ounce of sense, people and myself included are not going to lay down and play dead.

You seriously have nothing better to do with your time?

Really?

Apparently not.

Mr_Knight

...for idiots like the OP ...

Name calling?

Is this a forum for 4 year olds now?

Myhaloslipped

I guess I don't take any of it seriously. I actually think it's funny. When I've asked for help, I get a few helpful remarks and a lot of snark and funny gifs. It's funny. Who cares? Why so serious?

This place is what you make it.

If you don't like the general forums, there are lots of specialty boards that people have started for this purpose. For example, of you want to ask a low carb question, don't dare do it on the general forums. But there are low carb and Paleo and other kinds of boards where like minded people can ask questions and chat without being chastised for doing something different to see if it works for them.

Agreed. Unless it is someone close to me in real life who is being "cruel" or "insensitive," I really don't see how why it would affect some me so much. I figure that if someone is acting like a ****, it probably has more to do with them than anything personal against me, because they don't even know me. I thought the "this is not a babysitting service" comment was pretty funny and did not even view it as antagonistic until people started posting and interpreting it that way. I guess that's just the way I think though.

dayone987

So I have been on and off of this site for a few years now. Just started my 3rd round, and I'm determined to accomplish my goals this time! But with the huge growth of this site, I have also noticed some changes.

Has anyone else noticed that the "attitude" of MFP seems to not be as it was before? It gets more and more hostile each time I read posts.


*End Rant*

You don't remember the HCG threads before they were banned? Now, those were fun!

Myhaloslipped

This is not a baby sitting service, if you post something that does not make one ounce of sense, people and myself included are not going to lay down and play dead.

way to pick your battles there mighty Internet warrior

I like this comment. Also, I am disappointed that no one has posted a gif yet having something to do with an internet warrior or something similar. Come on guys, we're better than this! :laugh:

Mr_Knight

golfmonk

Hahahahaha! Sweetness!!!!

Mr_Knight

BeachIron

Maybe if you focused on your goals and less and on what everyone else is doing wrong, you'd do better? Just a thought.

Myhaloslipped

:drinker:

MyChocolateDiet

So I have been on and off of this site for a few years now. Just started my 3rd round, and I'm determined to accomplish my goals this time! But with the huge growth of this site, I have also noticed some changes.

Has anyone else noticed that the "attitude" of MFP seems to not be as it was before? It gets more and more hostile each time I read post. Don't get me wrong, all of my friends are GREAT - they always have awesome posts on my feed that I can get inspiration from. I'm talking about the message boards, specifically the "Motivation and Support" category.

I read posts from people who are reaching out for help (on whatever subject it may be) by posting on the message boards. What they get in return is people making fun of grammar, spelling, usage, or giving sarcastic remarks back. This is not a rare occasion, either. I'd say it's what happens the majority of the time. It really hurts my heart to see those people, who may not have the same education as everyone else, get shot down over minor details. People seem to have lost sight of what this website is for. We are all here for the same reason - to get/stay healthy.

I posted on the motivation and support category during the last time I tried to lose weight (my 2nd attempt) and decided quickly that I will no longer ask for help on message boards. It was a post about my unsupportive boyfriend, and I admit, it was "ranty." But almost all of the responses that I received were rude, judgmental, or sarcastic.

It's too bad that we all have to say hurtful or mean things to each other when this is such a wonderful site that can be so helpful to people. Until I see I change, I think I'll stick to posting questions on my status or use Google.

*End Rant*

I think you may have answered your own question.

iatemyelf

...for idiots like the OP ...

Name calling?

Is this a forum for 4 year olds now?

i hope that's sarcasm, if not, that's hilarious how badly you comprehended my post.

MrsBingley

There does seem to be a clique of people who have been here for a while and have long since reached goal or were never overweight to begin with.

I think the problem is that it's hard, psychologically, to remember that each new person who asks about their 1200 calorie diet or the caloric demon of the day is new, really is confused and has been bombarded by sensationalized information regarding nutrition.

It's a conversation that they have had a thousand times before, and they seem to be treating all these people as the same person, who happens to be frustratingly slow to learn.
I understand this, to an extent, as I work in technical support and I have to make a large effort to remember that each new person who has no idea where to begin with their smartphone has not heard the 1000 other conversations I've had on the subject.

Combine this with the fact that they all seem to be friends, see each other's comments and tend to pile on, and you get an environment that seems hostile to newbies.
Also, a lot of them are young and have always been fit, tend to lift heavy and forget that not everyone is like them and that people may have different needs.

The best advice for noobs, including myself, is to do your best to search previous topics before posting.
It's a shame, because we all do like the one on one attention and getting our specific questions answered.

Also, don't be one of those people who posts just to get validation. If you already "know" the answer and you are not going to change your mind, then don't "ask" about it.

iatemyelf

There does seem to be a clique of people who have been here for a while and have long since reached goal or were never overweight to begin with.

I think the problem is that it's hard, psychologically, to remember that each new person who asks about their 1200 calorie diet or the caloric demon of the day is new, really is confused and has been bombarded by sensationalized information regarding nutrition.

It's a conversation that they have had a thousand times before, and they seem to be treating all these people as the same person, who happens to be frustratingly slow to learn.
I understand this, to an extent, as I work in technical support and I have to make a large effort to remember that each new person who has no idea where to begin with their smartphone has not heard the 1000 other conversations I've had on the subject.

Combine this with the fact that they all seem to be friends, see each other's comments and tend to pile on, and you get an environment that seems hostile to newbies.
Also, a lot of them are young and have always been fit, tend to lift heavy and forget that not everyone is like them and that people may have different needs.

The best advice for noobs, including myself, is to do your best to search previous topics before posting.
It's a shame, because we all do like the one on one attention and getting our specific questions answered.

Also, don't be one of those people who posts just to get validation. If you already "know" the answer and you are not going to change your mind, then don't "ask" about it.

very well said.

Cranquistador

mmk

jimmmer

There does seem to be a clique of people who have been here for a while and have long since reached goal or were never overweight to begin with.

I think the problem is that it's hard, psychologically, to remember that each new person who asks about their 1200 calorie diet or the caloric demon of the day is new, really is confused and has been bombarded by sensationalized information regarding nutrition.

It's a conversation that they have had a thousand times before, and they seem to be treating all these people as the same person, who happens to be frustratingly slow to learn.
I understand this, to an extent, as I work in technical support and I have to make a large effort to remember that each new person who has no idea where to begin with their smartphone has not heard the 1000 other conversations I've had on the subject.

Combine this with the fact that they all seem to be friends, see each other's comments and tend to pile on, and you get an environment that seems hostile to newbies.
Also, a lot of them are young and have always been fit, tend to lift heavy and forget that not everyone is like them and that people may have different needs.

The best advice for noobs, including myself, is to do your best to search previous topics before posting.
It's a shame, because we all do like the one on one attention and getting our specific questions answered.

Also, don't be one of those people who posts just to get validation. If you already "know" the answer and you are not going to change your mind, then don't "ask" about it.

Articulate, well thought out and sensible.

I wouldn't expect too many more posts of this calibre in a thread like this.

brower47

I have noticed that people have gotten much more sensitive and resistant to dissenting viewpoints.

MrsBingley

There does seem to be a clique of people who have been here for a while and have long since reached goal or were never overweight to begin with.

I think the problem is that it's hard, psychologically, to remember that each new person who asks about their 1200 calorie diet or the caloric demon of the day is new, really is confused and has been bombarded by sensationalized information regarding nutrition.

It's a conversation that they have had a thousand times before, and they seem to be treating all these people as the same person, who happens to be frustratingly slow to learn.
I understand this, to an extent, as I work in technical support and I have to make a large effort to remember that each new person who has no idea where to begin with their smartphone has not heard the 1000 other conversations I've had on the subject.

Combine this with the fact that they all seem to be friends, see each other's comments and tend to pile on, and you get an environment that seems hostile to newbies.
Also, a lot of them are young and have always been fit, tend to lift heavy and forget that not everyone is like them and that people may have different needs.

The best advice for noobs, including myself, is to do your best to search previous topics before posting.
It's a shame, because we all do like the one on one attention and getting our specific questions answered.

Also, don't be one of those people who posts just to get validation. If you already "know" the answer and you are not going to change your mind, then don't "ask" about it.

Articulate, well thought out and sensible.

I wouldn't expect too many more posts of this calibre in a thread like this.

Aw, thanks, I have my moments. (I also have my moments of bboneheaddery, which you will see if you check my other comments :blushing: )

Iron_Feline

There does seem to be a clique of people who have been here for a while and have long since reached goal and have a lot of good knowlege to share with us new people.

I think the problem is that it's hard, psychologically, to remember that each new person who asks about their 1200 calorie diet or the caloric demon of the day is new, really is confused and has been bombarded by sensationalized information regarding nutrition.

It's a conversation that they have had a thousand times before, and they seem to be treating all these people as the same person, who happens to be frustratingly slow to learn to use the search button but quick to make a mean people thread

I understand this, to an extent, as I work in technical support and I have to make a large effort to remember that each new person who has no idea where to begin with their smartphone has not heard the 1000 other conversations I've had on the subject.

Combine this with the fact that they all seem to be friends, see each other's comments and tend to pile on, and you get an environment that seems hostile to newbies.

Also, a lot of them are young/old and have worked hard to get and remain fit, tend to lift heavy and try to stop people doing stupid fad diets and get them to see that weight loss can be simple.

The best advice for noobs, including myself, is to do your best to search previous topics before posting. And if you do post keep and open mind about the answers you get as there is normally excellent advice in the replies.

It's a shame, because we all do like the one on one attention and getting our specific questions answered.

Also, don't be one of those people who posts just to get validation. If you already "know" the answer and you are not going to change your mind, then don't "ask" about it.

FIFY