Horrible experience in the gym tonight

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Replies

  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    (Hey now...let's not lose sight of the important issue here...and that is how my equating "more likely" with "probably" is a failure in my reading comprehension.)
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    I'm interested to know what people think about this and what I should do.

    I've belonged to my gym for 18 months, been seeing a personal trainer regualrly most of that time aas well as coming in on my own. I have always used the freeweights area as part of my programme which and am lifting fairly decent sized weights. I'm not on Stronglifts or anything like that but I am lifting. I've lost weight, got leaner, can see muscles emerging, feel stronger and gone down nearly 2 dress sizes. All good.

    BUT over the time I've been there the gym has progressively got less and less friendly feeling, especially if you are a woman. OK if you want to faff around on some of the machines, run on the treadmills or prance about in Zumba but not when using the weights area. It was always used a lot by big muscly guys admiring themselves in the mirrors and there were never enough weights in the ranges commonly used by women. And they did tend to take up more space than they really needed. But usually they were OK. and made room for you.

    But lately it feels like they have got a lot worse. Spreading out everywhere, dominating the area, turning the Tv channel to sports or MTV and putting the volume right up loud, sitting on the benches checking texts between sets, three guys taking over 2-3 machines or the chin up area and rotating amongst themselves so that no one else can get at it for ages. Basically acting as it they own it. The staff, virtually all male, also seem to encourage this, or at least don't discourage it. Not that they leave reception that often.

    So tonight .....
    I wanted to do some shoulder presses using a weighted bar (I am getting up to 17.5kg, not that heavy matbe but heavy for me). But there is no benches free, and 3 of the weights bars I might use are not on the rack but over with a group of guys, who are not actually using them but placed in a difficult to get to way that makes it clear they have commandeered them. So that is deadlifts out if the question as well. The TV is at max volume on some horrible rap music type channel. There are huge dumb bells and weights bars with massive plates all over the floor. There is lots of joking about and laughter going on but no a lot of actual lifting. I lurk, uncomfortable and unsure. One guy can see I want the bench he is sitting on (not doing anything) but tries to not catch my eye. Another guy makes a big deal of going around me to get some weights, as if I am in his way (I'm not). I I feel unwelcome. There are definitely no other women anywhere near this area.

    So I give up and go back to the floor area, thinking I wll do some weighted lunges or glute bridges or dorsal raises, something.... It's crowded as usual. And one guy has collected up virtually all the available equipment - bosu ball, swiss ball, 2 step benches, a range of dumbells, you name it, and is hoarding them in the corner whilst doing his workout in front of them. The message is clear. What he doesn't have in his pile, the personal trainers are using with clients. 2 other guys are boxing (not together) over by the mirrors, taking up loads of floor space. Going over there is out of the question. There is only one girl in the area and she is also looking a bit lost and uncertain. She gives up and I see her head for a treadmill.

    So I leave. Fed up and p*d off at the selfish, inconsiderate behaviour and the air of testosterone everywhere I come home and rant here. So am I being over sensitive? I am a professional female over 40 for pete's sake. Why do I feel so unable to stick up for myself? Should I complain to the manager about it? Why do guys do this? Or should i just find another gym...

    Soooooooo.....the gym was crowded today, huh?
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
    They seem pretty rude to me.

    I am so glad I had the $ to buy my own gym equipment & set it up in my house, & avoid people like this.

    People like that are probably the ones who leave Methicillin Resistant Staph aureus (MRSA) on all the equipment, anyway, uugh.

    Can we put some parameters on "probably"? I mean, how many people contract this MRSA you speak of from public gym equipment? Has there been some outbreak that the CDC is trying to keep under wraps? And if so, is it more likely to be spread by rude people? I mean, sense these rude people refuse to share, it seems like they would be helping to stem the spread of this MRSA. Does not spreading MRSA make people more rude, or less rude?

    And by "rude people" I mean people that are minding their own business and aren't blessed with the ability to read minds, since mind reading would be required because the OP never once asked to use any of the gym equipment. Well, not with her voice, I mean. I guess she did try to signal to them. With her mind.

    I just dont' get why we can't just call it staph?
    we could...it's just that it is resistant to many antibiotics, so it is much more dangerous. Scary stuff.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    You know what it means. If you don't ask the CDC.

    *dialsphonenumbertocdc* CAN EVERYBODY PLEASE STAPH TALKING....!?!?!?! I'M TRYNA TALK ON TEH PHONNNNNNNNEEEE!!!

    16180060.jpg
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
    OP did you ever go back and try, "scuse me? how many sets do you have left?" and smile?
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    You don't like rap???

    this. i think this was about more than them just being "men" if you knowhaimean?
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
    They seem pretty rude to me.

    I am so glad I had the $ to buy my own gym equipment & set it up in my house, & avoid people like this.

    People like that are probably the ones who leave Methicillin Resistant Staph aureus (MRSA) on all the equipment, anyway, uugh.

    Can we put some parameters on "probably"? I mean, how many people contract this MRSA you speak of from public gym equipment? Has there been some outbreak that the CDC is trying to keep under wraps? And if so, is it more likely to be spread by rude people? I mean, sense these rude people refuse to share, it seems like they would be helping to stem the spread of this MRSA. Does not spreading MRSA make people more rude, or less rude?

    And by "rude people" I mean people that are minding their own business and aren't blessed with the ability to read minds, since mind reading would be required because the OP never once asked to use any of the gym equipment. Well, not with her voice, I mean. I guess she did try to signal to them. With her mind.

    Yep. Funny, I actually had staph....got it in the ICU, not the gym. Does that make me rude, or the victim of a rude person?

    Also, if people are going to use the fancy words...use the full fancy words - it's Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus.
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
    You know what it means. If you don't ask the CDC.
    LOL i did not ask you what MRSA means, sweetheart.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    They seem pretty rude to me.

    I am so glad I had the $ to buy my own gym equipment & set it up in my house, & avoid people like this.

    People like that are probably the ones who leave Methicillin Resistant Staph aureus (MRSA) on all the equipment, anyway, uugh.

    Can we put some parameters on "probably"? I mean, how many people contract this MRSA you speak of from public gym equipment? Has there been some outbreak that the CDC is trying to keep under wraps? And if so, is it more likely to be spread by rude people? I mean, sense these rude people refuse to share, it seems like they would be helping to stem the spread of this MRSA. Does not spreading MRSA make people more rude, or less rude?

    And by "rude people" I mean people that are minding their own business and aren't blessed with the ability to read minds, since mind reading would be required because the OP never once asked to use any of the gym equipment. Well, not with her voice, I mean. I guess she did try to signal to them. With her mind.

    Yep. Funny, I actually had staph....got it in the ICU, not the gym. Does that make me rude, or the victim of a rude person?

    Also, if people are going to use the fancy words...use the full fancy words - it's Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus.

    maybe she just didn't want her word to be censored. :wink:
  • fitfreakymom
    fitfreakymom Posts: 1,400 Member
    also bring your own music and headset.
  • focknfree
    focknfree Posts: 66 Member
    I'm a guy and I wouldn't go to that gym. I was a member of a small gym that fit that description. I'm now a member of a larger gym where those issues aren't nearly as bad as the small gym. Just switch gyms if you have other choices in the area you live.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    .......So I leave. Fed up and p*d off at the selfish, inconsiderate behaviour and the air of testosterone everywhere I come home and rant here. So am I being over sensitive? I am a professional female over 40 for pete's sake. Why do I feel so unable to stick up for myself? Should I complain to the manager about it? Why do guys do this? Or should i just find another gym...

    Soooooooo.....the gym was crowded today, huh?

    I guess that's what she's going to complain to the manager about? That the gym is too profitable and they should try to be less successful? Or maybe that the patrons don't read minds? Or that she should find a gym that's frequented by Franciscan Monks where no one is expected to use their words to get things they want? Or perhaps a gym that has fewer outbreaks of MRSA (probably)?
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    also bring your own music and headset and voice

    fixed
  • stumblinthrulife
    stumblinthrulife Posts: 2,558 Member
    You pay to use the equipment. They pay to use the equipment.

    While you are working out are you always looking around trying to figure out if anyone else wants the equipment you are using, just in case? Or are you just focused on your own workout, but would you happily share equipment if asked?

    Most people are basically pleasant if you talk to them. It may be more difficult for you as a woman because you find the guys intimidating, but assuming they aren't making a conscious effort to intimidate you directly, that is your flaw, not theirs.

    Do -

    Ask to work in.
    Ask how many sets they have left.
    Ask if they are using a particular bit of equipment at that precise moment.
    Report inappropriate, rude or aggressive behavior directly towards your person.

    Don't -

    Stand around hoping someone will notice you want something.
    Be passive aggressive.
    Report them to gym management, unless someone is blatantly rude and hogs equipment they aren't using even after you have asked.
    Paint everyone there with the same brush if one person is genuinely rude to you.

    I guarantee these simple rules are your key to gym satisfaction.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    They seem pretty rude to me.

    I am so glad I had the $ to buy my own gym equipment & set it up in my house, & avoid people like this.

    People like that are probably the ones who leave Methicillin Resistant Staph aureus (MRSA) on all the equipment, anyway, uugh.

    Rude people are more likely to have infections?

    I sincerely doubt this.

    Re-read: "probably"

    The skill of Reading, is something most people wish they had. It may just benefit you in life.

    Are you being serious? Really? You're calling me out on reading comprehension for equating "probably" with "more likely"? What exactly do you think "probably" means?

    :huh:

    The CG (all hail) prohibit me from giving you the response your comment deserves. Instead, I'll just suggest that you heed your own advice. Reading...it isn't just a town in Pennsylvania.

    its a railroad right? amirite?

    please marry me


    awwww thanks for the offer, but I'm choosing the other guys offer. the one with the $200 bux.
  • 9/10 times, most guys would let me work inbetween their sets if I asked. I'm not the typical "yo dude how many sets you got?"
    I'm well mannered and polite, but not being a wuss about it. If it's bigger weights such as the bench or squat rack, I simply let them know I'm waiting for them, no rush. The longest wait I had was roughly 10 minutes. All I did was stretch and hover around them or check my text.

    The the answer to your solution, is to courage up and ask. Don't judge people for what they are, I've met some of the nicest muscular guys at my gym. Just need to show respect.
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
    They seem pretty rude to me.

    I am so glad I had the $ to buy my own gym equipment & set it up in my house, & avoid people like this.

    People like that are probably the ones who leave Methicillin Resistant Staph aureus (MRSA) on all the equipment, anyway, uugh.

    Rude people are more likely to have infections?

    I sincerely doubt this.

    Re-read: "probably"

    The skill of Reading, is something most people wish they had. It may just benefit you in life.

    I don't even think rude people probably have a greater occurrence of that bacteria on them.
  • fitfreakymom
    fitfreakymom Posts: 1,400 Member
    also bring your own music and headset and voice

    fixed

    ty lol
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    9/10 times, most guys would let me work inbetween their sets if I asked. I'm not the typical "yo dude how many sets you got?"
    I'm well mannered and polite, but not being a wuss about it. If it's bigger weights such as the bench or squat rack, I simply let them know I'm waiting for them, no rush. The longest wait I had was roughly 10 minutes. All I did was stretch and hover around them or check my text.

    The the answer to your solution, is to courage up and ask.

    man up. right?

    Don't judge people for what they are, I've met some of the nicest muscular guys at my gym
    me too. some of my best friends are men.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    (Hey now...let's not lose sight of the important issue here...and that is how my equating "more likely" with "probably" is a failure in my reading comprehension.)

    Strange. According to various dictionaries, probably means "Most likely"

    You were one word off Joff *pats on the back*
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    (Hey now...let's not lose sight of the important issue here...and that is how my equating "more likely" with "probably" is a failure in my reading comprehension.)

    Strange. According to various dictionaries, probably means "Most likely"

    You were one word off Joff *pats on the back*

    actually he was only two letters off.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    9/10 times, most guys would let me work inbetween their sets if I asked. I'm not the typical "yo dude how many sets you got?"
    I'm well mannered and polite, but not being a wuss about it. If it's bigger weights such as the bench or squat rack, I simply let them know I'm waiting for them, no rush. The longest wait I had was roughly 10 minutes. All I did was stretch and hover around them or check my text.

    The the answer to your solution, is to courage up and ask.

    man up. right?

    Don't judge people for what they are, I've met some of the nicest muscular guys at my gym
    me too. some of my best friends are men.

    with $200 bucks?
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
    9/10 times, most guys would let me work inbetween their sets if I asked. I'm not the typical "yo dude how many sets you got?"
    I'm well mannered and polite, but not being a wuss about it. If it's bigger weights such as the bench or squat rack, I simply let them know I'm waiting for them, no rush. The longest wait I had was roughly 10 minutes. All I did was stretch and hover around them or check my text.

    The the answer to your solution, is to courage up and ask. Don't judge people for what they are, I've met some of the nicest muscular guys at my gym. Just need to show respect.
    this

    recently I was waiting for a bench, and the guy finished his last set, so I put a weight on one side, and had to go get another one from across the way because the one I needed was missing.

    Anyway there were two young muscular men doing something or other next to me, and I guess noticed that I had started to set up.

    Another couple guys came over and took the one weight off when I was a few steps away, and one of the gentlemen who was working next to the bench stopped them and said this lady was using the bench.

    it was very sweet and much appreciated, even though I was about to tell them myself.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    (Hey now...let's not lose sight of the important issue here...and that is how my equating "more likely" with "probably" is a failure in my reading comprehension.)

    Strange. According to various dictionaries, probably means "Most likely"

    You were one word off Joff *pats on the back*

    actually he was only two letters off.

    I stand corrected.

    b7dbdf7f538720935689e60c070112b3.gif
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
    (Hey now...let's not lose sight of the important issue here...and that is how my equating "more likely" with "probably" is a failure in my reading comprehension.)

    Strange. According to various dictionaries, probably means "Most likely"

    You were one word off Joff *pats on the back*

    actually he was only two letters off.
    You either have it or don't have it and there's no other option. So in this case more likely == most likely.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    I'm a rude person. Does this mean I am more likely to contract MRSA or am I the point of origin? Probably both, right?
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    (Hey now...let's not lose sight of the important issue here...and that is how my equating "more likely" with "probably" is a failure in my reading comprehension.)

    Strange. According to various dictionaries, probably means "Most likely"

    You were one word off Joff *pats on the back*

    Indeed. I actually made it less probable...or said another way, less absurd of a statement.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    I'm a rude person. Does this mean I am more likely to contract MRSA or am I the point of origin? Probably both, right?

    ladies and gentlemen, i present to you Patient Zero
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
    They seem pretty rude to me.

    I am so glad I had the $ to buy my own gym equipment & set it up in my house, & avoid people like this.

    People like that are probably the ones who leave Methicillin Resistant Staph aureus (MRSA) on all the equipment, anyway, uugh.

    Rude people are more likely to have infections?

    I sincerely doubt this.

    Re-read: "probably"

    The skill of Reading, is something most people wish they had. It may just benefit you in life.

    Are you being serious? Really? You're calling me out on reading comprehension for equating "probably" with "more likely"? What exactly do you think "probably" means?

    :huh:

    The CG (all hail) prohibit me from giving you the response your comment deserves. Instead, I'll just suggest that you heed your own advice. Reading...it isn't just a town in Pennsylvania.

    its a railroad right? amirite?

    please marry me


    awwww thanks for the offer, but I'm choosing the other guys offer. the one with the $200 bux.

    Show20me20the20Money_thumb_500x270_72909_answer_1_xlarge.jpeg
  • Fullsterkur_woman
    Fullsterkur_woman Posts: 2,712 Member
    9/10 times, most guys would let me work inbetween their sets if I asked.


    The the answer to your solution, is to courage up and ask.

    Seriously, this! I have zero compunctions about striding right on up and asking to work in with someone. I would never interrupt a set, of course, but would wait patiently for them to finish, and then ask in a way that doesn't sound like a question. Because it's not really a question. It's just observing the formalities. We have rules about how long you can take up equipment while people are waiting, so it's really not OK to say no. The flip side of that coin is, I set the sht back up on whatever they had it when I finish my set. Etiquette is a two-way street.

    If all you can manage to do is stand around all huffy being all passive-aggressive, consider practicing this to be the "grow a pair" part of your workout, because your backbone is clearly too flabby.