Horrible experience in the gym tonight

arghbowl

HOW on this green Earth does this discussion turn into a discussion on assault? Are women really that afraid of men? Not every guy out there is scoping the gym for a victim. Men in the gym hoard equipment because they're too lazy to put it away, not because they don't want females to use it.

If you act assertive but friendly, then you get a lot further in life. That applies to anything, not just getting to the 20 pound dumb bells.

God knows and to be frank most men I know are in awe of woman in the gym lifting heavy and are intimidated themselves because well she might lift more....

This sounds like projection to me.....or PMS.

Holy ****... yeah EVERY man I know is excited about women working out in the men's section, we think it's really great.

Oh my god! Just because there are weights doesn't make it the "men's section". People like you are the problem the OP was having to start with.

And "People like you" should go to Planet Fitness and shut up.

What, for noticing that 'the men's section' is really not the way to phrase it? She doesn't need to shut up or go anywhere. I love Frank, but he phrased that poorly, imho.

Actually, if you bothered to read the three words I quoted, you would see it was for the generalization of "people like you," and not for criticizing the phrasing.

arghbowl

Lori is right. Take no sheeet. I am a guy, but I am not the testosterone fueled power lifter type. I am overweight, and not someone who would typically lift. I ALWAYS get static from these types, and I am a guy. Go over the the Roid Master and ask him for the equipment you want/need. If he says no, take it anyway. And if it turns into a confrontation, then you KNOW you need to find another gym. Make it known plainly (and loudly) to management that you're paying for the "privilege" of harassment and you'd be happy to spend your money elsewhere.

If you come up and take my weights after I politely let you know I'm still using them, I'm going to take them back and then drop them on your face. No offense, but that's pretty d*ck.

NRSPAM

You pay the same amount of money to be there as they do. Although crowded gyms suck, they should not be hoarding the equipment. I can't stand it when people sit around talking on the machines. If you want to talk, go outside and talk. Leave the machines and benches for those of us who are there to work, and pay to be there working. I would try asking for the equipment, or saying excuse me for them to get up, but if that didn't work, I'd be saying something to somebody.

lizziebeth1028

I'm interested to know what people think about this and what I should do.

I've belonged to my gym for 18 months, been seeing a personal trainer regualrly most of that time aas well as coming in on my own. I have always used the freeweights area as part of my programme which and am lifting fairly decent sized weights. I'm not on Stronglifts or anything like that but I am lifting. I've lost weight, got leaner, can see muscles emerging, feel stronger and gone down nearly 2 dress sizes. All good.

BUT over the time I've been there the gym has progressively got less and less friendly feeling, especially if you are a woman. OK if you want to faff around on some of the machines, run on the treadmills or prance about in Zumba but not when using the weights area. It was always used a lot by big muscly guys admiring themselves in the mirrors and there were never enough weights in the ranges commonly used by women. And they did tend to take up more space than they really needed. But usually they were OK. and made room for you.

But lately it feels like they have got a lot worse. Spreading out everywhere, dominating the area, turning the Tv channel to sports or MTV and putting the volume right up loud, sitting on the benches checking texts between sets, three guys taking over 2-3 machines or the chin up area and rotating amongst themselves so that no one else can get at it for ages. Basically acting as it they own it. The staff, virtually all male, also seem to encourage this, or at least don't discourage it. Not that they leave reception that often.

So tonight .....
I wanted to do some shoulder presses using a weighted bar (I am getting up to 17.5kg, not that heavy matbe but heavy for me). But there is no benches free, and 3 of the weights bars I might use are not on the rack but over with a group of guys, who are not actually using them but placed in a difficult to get to way that makes it clear they have commandeered them. So that is deadlifts out if the question as well. The TV is at max volume on some horrible rap music type channel. There are huge dumb bells and weights bars with massive plates all over the floor. There is lots of joking about and laughter going on but no a lot of actual lifting. I lurk, uncomfortable and unsure. One guy can see I want the bench he is sitting on (not doing anything) but tries to not catch my eye. Another guy makes a big deal of going around me to get some weights, as if I am in his way (I'm not). I I feel unwelcome. There are definitely no other women anywhere near this area.

So I give up and go back to the floor area, thinking I wll do some weighted lunges or glute bridges or dorsal raises, something.... It's crowded as usual. And one guy has collected up virtually all the available equipment - bosu ball, swiss ball, 2 step benches, a range of dumbells, you name it, and is hoarding them in the corner whilst doing his workout in front of them. The message is clear. What he doesn't have in his pile, the personal trainers are using with clients. 2 other guys are boxing (not together) over by the mirrors, taking up loads of floor space. Going over there is out of the question. There is only one girl in the area and she is also looking a bit lost and uncertain. She gives up and I see her head for a treadmill.

So I leave. Fed up and p*d off at the selfish, inconsiderate behaviour and the air of testosterone everywhere I come home and rant here. So am I being over sensitive? I am a professional female over 40 for pete's sake. Why do I feel so unable to stick up for myself? Should I complain to the manager about it? Why do guys do this? Or should i just find another gym...

1 - man up and ask politely to use the equipment
2 - complain to the manager
3 - HOME. GYM.
4 - or find a new gym

But what do I know I'm usually the girl that falls into this category - "OK if you want to faff around on some of the machines, run on the treadmills or prance about in Zumba but not when using the weights area"

Yea respecting others at the gym...some people need to work on that.

Myhaloslipped

Lori is right. Take no sheeet. I am a guy, but I am not the testosterone fueled power lifter type. I am overweight, and not someone who would typically lift. I ALWAYS get static from these types, and I am a guy. Go over the the Roid Master and ask him for the equipment you want/need. If he says no, take it anyway. And if it turns into a confrontation, then you KNOW you need to find another gym. Make it known plainly (and loudly) to management that you're paying for the "privilege" of harassment and you'd be happy to spend your money elsewhere.

I would think you had lost your effing mind if you tried to snatch weights from me when I said I was using them. There are better ways to handle things without acting childish. Wtf?

pavrg

No offense, if I was in the middle of a superset and needed both pieces of equipment, I would say no. Not cause I am mean, but I need and I am using both of them. If I was done, I would give it to you. If you took it from me, I would just take it back. No need to be rude about it man. Maybe the "Roid Master" would need to find a gym where people don't walk up to him and take equipment he is using.

If you want to do supersets or circuit training, get to the gym at a time when it's not busy.

6pm or 7 am on a weekday? You best not be the a-hole that's telling people 'no' because you can't wait the extra 30 seconds to do your superset.

wheird

Lori is right. Take no sheeet. I am a guy, but I am not the testosterone fueled power lifter type. I am overweight, and not someone who would typically lift. I ALWAYS get static from these types, and I am a guy. Go over the the Roid Master and ask him for the equipment you want/need. If he says no, take it anyway. And if it turns into a confrontation, then you KNOW you need to find another gym. Make it known plainly (and loudly) to management that you're paying for the "privilege" of harassment and you'd be happy to spend your money elsewhere.

Um, this is pretty confrontational.

wheird

No offense, if I was in the middle of a superset and needed both pieces of equipment, I would say no. Not cause I am mean, but I need and I am using both of them. If I was done, I would give it to you. If you took it from me, I would just take it back. No need to be rude about it man. Maybe the "Roid Master" would need to find a gym where people don't walk up to him and take equipment he is using.

If you want to do supersets or circuit training, get to the gym at a time when it's not busy.

6pm or 7 am on a weekday? You best not be the a-hole that's telling people 'no' because you can't wait the extra 30 seconds to do your superset.

Circuit training I agree with. Supersets? Not so much, you're only using two pieces of equipment at the time.

EricaFaythe

Lori is right. Take no sheeet. I am a guy, but I am not the testosterone fueled power lifter type. I am overweight, and not someone who would typically lift. I ALWAYS get static from these types, and I am a guy. Go over the the Roid Master and ask him for the equipment you want/need. If he says no, take it anyway. And if it turns into a confrontation, then you KNOW you need to find another gym. Make it known plainly (and loudly) to management that you're paying for the "privilege" of harassment and you'd be happy to spend your money elsewhere.

If you come up and take my weights after I politely let you know I'm still using them, I'm going to take them back and then drop them on your face. No offense, but that's pretty d*ck.

Truth. If I'm close to the end of a set and someone politely asks me, I generally take that as a sign I need to go up in weight, lol. But if I politely tell them I have a few more sets, I don't dally, and I'd probably get extremely pissed at someone taking my stuff before I was done.

I realize everyone goes to the gym to work out, but if I get to that weight first, the I should be able to use it for the ten minutes I'm going to need it. People should find some alternate exercises for when that happens.

pavrg

No offense, if I was in the middle of a superset and needed both pieces of equipment, I would say no. Not cause I am mean, but I need and I am using both of them. If I was done, I would give it to you. If you took it from me, I would just take it back. No need to be rude about it man. Maybe the "Roid Master" would need to find a gym where people don't walk up to him and take equipment he is using.

If you want to do supersets or circuit training, get to the gym at a time when it's not busy.

6pm or 7 am on a weekday? You best not be the a-hole that's telling people 'no' because you can't wait the extra 30 seconds to do your superset.

Circuit training I agree with. Supersets? Not so much, you're only using two pieces of equipment at the time.

It is rude to not allow others to use a piece of equipment you aren't using, particularly during busy hours. If your answer to 'can I work in' is 'no, I'm supersetting,' while the 2nd piece of equipment is not actually being used, that makes you a douche.

sugaspice999

This is why I go to the gym @ 4am. I'm really sorry you had such a horrible experience and my gym sounds really similar. Especially the weight/ball hoarders and guys that take up a ridiculous amount of space for no reason. Also people that stretch (in your face) near the row of treadmills for 30min, start doing planks/jj's right in the middle b/c no room anywhere else. I could go on and on.

I would suggest either standing up for yourself, switching gyms, or going at a different time. There's no reason to go through the same thing, especially b/c you are paying YOUR money every month for the membership.

MrGonzo05

You should be comfortable asserting your expectation to use the equipment you paid for access to. If not, expect other problems in life.

hddeuce1966

Oh my. I'm so glad the guys at my gym are not like some of you.

wendybird5

Reading stuff like this makes me appreciate my gym so much more. The guys in the weight area don't hog the equipment and I never have to fight to get the machines or weights I need. I did used to work out at a gym with guys like that and I'm so glad I don't go there now.

MisterDerpington

No offense, if I was in the middle of a superset and needed both pieces of equipment, I would say no. Not cause I am mean, but I need and I am using both of them. If I was done, I would give it to you. If you took it from me, I would just take it back. No need to be rude about it man. Maybe the "Roid Master" would need to find a gym where people don't walk up to him and take equipment he is using.

If you want to do supersets or circuit training, get to the gym at a time when it's not busy.

6pm or 7 am on a weekday? You best not be the a-hole that's telling people 'no' because you can't wait the extra 30 seconds to do your superset.

Circuit training I agree with. Supersets? Not so much, you're only using two pieces of equipment at the time.

It is rude to not allow others to use a piece of equipment you aren't using, particularly during busy hours. If your answer to 'can I work in' is 'no, I'm supersetting,' while the 2nd piece of equipment is not actually being used, that makes you a douche.

Apparently you don't know what superset means...

MelodyandBarbells

I empathize with the OP, in that it's annoying to feel like you have to be super assertive in situations that wouldn't exist if people just used a bit of common sense and courtesy. Case in point, my neighbor played really loud music. I'm talking feel the bass under your feet in my apartment at midnight loud. I tried knocking on the door, even wearing ear plugs, contacting my doubebag, lazy SOB manager who did nothing, calling the police (not 911) to file a minor complaint. When none of these had any effect, I had to bang on the door repeatedly with my entire fist like there was an emergency loud, till she opened the door. I was expecting to have a knock down drag out with this person that has cost me days of sleep in recent history, only to have the nicest person with a smile say oops, sorry, I'll turn it down.

Did I like having to do this? Nope. But sometimes the situation warrants it and you just have to put on your big girl britches and handle some cheat. Otherwise I do agree that life's too short and there may be other places that already make an effort to minimize these discomforts. Can always reward those places with your hard earned dough. Suggest ear plugs for too loud rap music or maybe ask them if they wouldn't mind turning it down a bit while you're there. Or change the station to a reality channel if you get your hands on the remote first; that oughta clear the room and make it a girl only area ;-)

wilmnoca

I don't know what you should do, but that was beautifully written! ☺

pavrg

Apparently you don't know what superset means...

I know what it means. It's when you do another set during what would normally be the 'rest' period between sets, usually with an opposing muscle group. Thanks for the inane comment.

And I will reiterate that if you're sitting there with an 80 lb dumbbell and an EZ bar loaded with 50 lbs so you can preacher curl and do tricep extensions, and you tell someone 'no' when they ask to use one of those thing while you have it layin on the ground because you're not actively using it, you are a douche. Thankfully, I've never encountered anyone who does this in real life, so I'm hoping this is just a stupid hypothetical internet discussion.

MisterDerpington

Apparently you don't know what superset means...

I know what it means. It's when you do another set during what would normally be the 'rest' period between sets, usually with an opposing muscle group. Thanks for the inane comment.

And I will reiterate that if you're sitting there with an 80 lb dumbbell and an EZ bar loaded with 50 lbs so you can preacher curl and do tricep extensions, and you tell someone 'no' when they ask to use one of those thing while you have it layin on the ground because you're not actively using it, you are a douche. Thankfully, I've never encountered anyone who does this in real life, so I'm hoping this is just a stupid hypothetical internet discussion.

So because somebody is going to use a piece of equipment in about 30-45 seconds after the first lift they're a *kitten*? How ridiculous.

tattygun

OMG you went to a gym and people were using equipment and space, you poor thing! Loud rap music? How did you cope? I mean they should play the music you want on surely? Those bros really should've pre-empt the whole situation, stopped what they're doing, gave you the benches, changed the TV channel. I mean no one could expect you just ask politely could they? That would be much too hard!

Some people, ye gods!