Another Mom under fire for post baby selfie.
Replies
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The only reason to be annoyed at something like this is because you feel guilty, and that is not the fault of the person posting the picture.
I don't understand why someone should feel guilty.
I don't have anything negative to say about her. I didn't look that good 4 days postpartum (although people were commenting on my "flat belly"), but I did bounce back quickly. When I was 9 months pregnant I weighed 130 pounds, and after giving birth I was quickly back to 110. By six months postpartum I looked amazing. But, during the pregnancy I had a placental abruption (that is an internal injury) from trying to keep up with everything (caring for my toddler as well) as if I was not pregnant (and continued even when I was in pain and was bleeding internally) and started hemorrhaging. I won't go into all the details, but I did have to go on bed rest until I was full term (and I will be forever relieved and thankful that my baby was ok). At the end of bed rest I found it extremely challenging to stand and walk around with the weight in my abdomen. And my labor was quick and I gave birth at home, but again I had excessive bleeding and was severely anemic. So, yeah, at 4 days postpartum I had trouble breathing just to stand up and walk from my bed to the bathroom. But, I took care of myself and my baby and I recovered. And as soon as I could I was back to being active and exercising.
I don't think women should feel guilty about the natural process of pregnancy and birth and the impact that can have on a body. This has nothing to do with this one woman and her photo. We don't need to judge her, but we also don't need to judge all other mothers. I guess I just worry that awareness of that gets lost in all of the defenses. And the last thing we need is more mother guilt. Maybe I am just overreacting in some way. Just that pregnancy is complicated. And the whole experience of becoming a mother can involve all kinds of judgements from all over the place from people that don't have all the info. Probably also why people would judge this woman.0 -
I can tell she doesnt have a 4 day olf becausr of a few small clues!
1. She is awake
2. She isnt holding the baby
3. She has makeup on
4. She has her hair done
5. Her boobs arent falling out of her bra
6. She doesnt have black rings under her eyes
7. She looks as if she has showered recently
8. She has no puke or poop on her
9. Did i mention shes awake
10. She is obviously not wearing one if those giant diaper like pads you have to wear after birth!
You couldnt fool me!
As for the body...kudos, looks great!
Every now and then someone posts something reminding me why I invest in the kind of birth control that lasts for years, then immediately follow it up with more birth control that lasts for years, and continue to pester my doctor about tubal ligation. The expectation that one must be tired and unkempt, or else they 'don't have a newborn'/are some manner of freak of nature is pretty gross.
Dare I say as gross as this supposed trend towards not looking as if one has given birth? :indifferent:0 -
Not the first thing I noticed.
It was the chandelier, wasn't it? I knew it.0 -
:noway: :noway: 4 DAYS postpartum?! :noway: :noway: I must say, I'm quite impressed!!
My body never looked like that ... EVER !! :sad:0 -
I'm just having a hard time figuring out how she felt so great 4 days after birth that she is not rocking the granny panties and fleece PJs. I didn't wear panties like that for weeks after having my kids, and not because of my big butt and thighs, even though they were huge.
I'm impressed, and yes jealous too.
Yeah, I didn't wear panties like that 4 days after giving birth because I was still bleeding profusely.
Me too.
I actually was REALLY small after I had my second son (I had raging bronchitis, started losing weight before I delivered), but I was still bleeding 4 days after.0 -
I can tell she doesnt have a 4 day olf becausr of a few small clues!
1. She is awake
2. She isnt holding the baby
3. She has makeup on
4. She has her hair done
5. Her boobs arent falling out of her bra
6. She doesnt have black rings under her eyes
7. She looks as if she has showered recently
8. She has no puke or poop on her
9. Did i mention shes awake
10. She is obviously not wearing one if those giant diaper like pads you have to wear after birth!
You couldnt fool me!
As for the body...kudos, looks great!
Every now and then someone posts something reminding me why I invest in the kind of birth control that lasts for years, then immediately follow it up with more birth control that lasts for years, and continue to pester my doctor about tubal ligation. The exception that one must be tired and unkempt, or else they 'don't have a newborn'/are some manner of freak of nature is pretty gross.
Dare I say as gross as this supposed trend towards not looking as if one has given birth? :indifferent:
Now that you mention it, this thread is kinda making me want to renew my birth control. :sick:0 -
I think people shouldn't be jealous she is this lucky, only FOUR days after birth there is no other word for it; It's not hard work, certainly. She didn't have TIME to lose weight....
That said, I also think she KNOWS it's not like this for most women and this is akin to bragging, basically. She shouldn't be surprised it pissed ppl off.0 -
I hope this works...my daughter 11 days post baby...and she does NOT workout...she does NOT get these genes from me! :grumble:
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Some have hinted at it, but I don't think anyone has actually said it...
...so I will.
I'm predicting this is a fake. Oh, sure, it's a real pic, but I don't think this was 4 days postpartum.
There...I said it.0 -
Me too, but for different reasons...so want in!What ever voodoo she did for that body...,I want in0 -
I can tell she doesnt have a 4 day olf becausr of a few small clues!
1. She is awake
2. She isnt holding the baby
3. She has makeup on
4. She has her hair done
5. Her boobs arent falling out of her bra
6. She doesnt have black rings under her eyes
7. She looks as if she has showered recently
8. She has no puke or poop on her
9. Did i mention shes awake
10. She is obviously not wearing one if those giant diaper like pads you have to wear after birth!
You couldnt fool me!
As for the body...kudos, looks great!
Every now and then someone posts something reminding me why I invest in the kind of birth control that lasts for years, then immediately follow it up with more birth control that lasts for years, and continue to pester my doctor about tubal ligation. The exception that one must be tired and unkempt, or else they 'don't have a newborn'/are some manner of freak of nature is pretty gross.
Dare I say as gross as this supposed trend towards not looking as if one has given birth? :indifferent:
Now that you mention it, this thread is kinda making me want to renew my birth control. :sick:
The number one thing that keeps me oh so assured I never want children is, without a doubt, people who have children.
I shall leave people to read into that whatever they wish.0 -
Eh, I don't have a problem with her being proud of her body. It just makes me laugh any time someone posts a blatant "LOOK AT MY HUGE, SHOP-BUILT BOOBS" photo and then captions it with something totally unrelated, like "Love my new orange Nikes!" At least have the guts to own your attention whoring, rather than acting like there's something wrong with everyone else for noticing exactly what you wanted them to notice.0
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Some have hinted at it, but I don't think anyone has actually said it...
...so I will.
I'm predicting this is a fake. Oh, sure, it's a real pic, but I don't think this was 4 days postpartum.
There...I said it.
http://instagram.com/fotballfrue
She has pictures of her self still preggo on the 23rd, pictures of the new baby on the 26th (saying she gave birth the day before), and then the 'obscene war shot' picture on the 28th, so.
3 days-5days, assuming you believe she wasn't stringing out preggo pictures for the sake of some big reveal.0 -
Whoa, is that your mum? She's fit.0
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I can tell she doesnt have a 4 day olf becausr of a few small clues!
1. She is awake
2. She isnt holding the baby
3. She has makeup on
4. She has her hair done
5. Her boobs arent falling out of her bra
6. She doesnt have black rings under her eyes
7. She looks as if she has showered recently
8. She has no puke or poop on her
9. Did i mention shes awake
10. She is obviously not wearing one if those giant diaper like pads you have to wear after birth!
You couldnt fool me!
As for the body...kudos, looks great!
Every now and then someone posts something reminding me why I invest in the kind of birth control that lasts for years, then immediately follow it up with more birth control that lasts for years, and continue to pester my doctor about tubal ligation. The exception that one must be tired and unkempt, or else they 'don't have a newborn'/are some manner of freak of nature is pretty gross.
Dare I say as gross as this supposed trend towards not looking as if one has given birth? :indifferent:
She probably is fairly unusual, an outlier or, pejoratively, a freak. I don't have any stats or studies, just my personal experience and what I'm going to perilously assume is fairly common... most women don't feel up to much more than just taking care of the baby the first week.
When you're bleeding like your worst TOM ever for the first week after, when you're getting up every couple of hours to change and feed, when your breasts hurt so badly that you cry out if you jar them at all, when just the act of going to the bathroom is both painful (don't even get me started on that first post birth poo) and time consuming, it shouldn't be too much of a stretch to think that most women might not have the additional energy to wear makeup or look overly cheery for a few days.
Now going through that doesn't make us martyr's or anything but a few days of less than top notch grooming should be allowed and even expected.
Analogy time!
Do people get all dressed up and gussied up when they have the flu? Or do they wear PJs, do very little with their hair and just do what they need to recover. Some people do, most don't. Personally, I'd rather deal with flu symptoms than the first week after birth anytime. One doesn't have a screaming newborn associated with it.0 -
Anyone who can look like that 4 days after giving birth has every right in the world to show off a little.
If you're offended by it, that's sad. And you're sad.0 -
Some have hinted at it, but I don't think anyone has actually said it...
...so I will.
I'm predicting this is a fake. Oh, sure, it's a real pic, but I don't think this was 4 days postpartum.
There...I said it.
Seems physically impossible, just knowing how the body works and all. I wouldn't doubt that she could be 6 months postpartum (but 4 days).0 -
I can tell she doesnt have a 4 day olf becausr of a few small clues!
1. She is awake
2. She isnt holding the baby
3. She has makeup on
4. She has her hair done
5. Her boobs arent falling out of her bra
6. She doesnt have black rings under her eyes
7. She looks as if she has showered recently
8. She has no puke or poop on her
9. Did i mention shes awake
10. She is obviously not wearing one if those giant diaper like pads you have to wear after birth!
You couldnt fool me!
As for the body...kudos, looks great!
Every now and then someone posts something reminding me why I invest in the kind of birth control that lasts for years, then immediately follow it up with more birth control that lasts for years, and continue to pester my doctor about tubal ligation. The exception that one must be tired and unkempt, or else they 'don't have a newborn'/are some manner of freak of nature is pretty gross.
Dare I say as gross as this supposed trend towards not looking as if one has given birth? :indifferent:
She probably is fairly unusual, an outlier or, pejoratively, a freak. I don't have any stats or studies, just my personal experience and what I'm going to perilously assume is fairly common... most women don't feel up to much more than just taking care of the baby the first week.
When you're bleeding like your worst TOM ever for the first week after, when you're getting up every couple of hours to change and feed, when your breasts hurt so badly that you cry out if you jar them at all, when just the act of going to the bathroom is both painful (don't even get me started on that first post birth poo) and time consuming, it shouldn't be too much of a stretch to think that most women might not have the additional energy to wear makeup or look overly cheery for a few days.
Now going through that doesn't make us martyr's or anything but a few days of less than top notch grooming should be allowed and even expected.
Analogy time!
Do people get all dressed up and gussied up when they have the flu? Or do they wear PJs, do very little with their hair and just do what they need to recover. Some people do, most don't. Personally, I'd rather deal with flu symptoms than the first week after birth anytime. One doesn't have a screaming newborn associated with it.
I can only speak from my own observations, as centered on my mother, but I can't recall any unkempt moments. With the most recent sibling, who is now five to my 26, my mother was back at work in a week. When she had the twins, who are now 13, she was home for 3 weeks, but was as properly dressed as she always was.
My mother is no genetic freak, or anything like that, she's just really type A. While that may not be how the majority of people are, I don't think it's so strange that women who are that way are extreme cases, or should have it subtly implied that their priorities are out of line. Which you didn't do, I'm just speaking of the reactions she's gotten in general.0 -
Some have hinted at it, but I don't think anyone has actually said it...
...so I will.
I'm predicting this is a fake. Oh, sure, it's a real pic, but I don't think this was 4 days postpartum.
There...I said it.
Well, she's go the poochie belly. I have a friend who had her first when she was in her late 20's. She was tiny to begin with (watched what she ate, swam and ran). She only gained 24 lbs by following a very strict diet and swimming a mile every day. She was very proud to be able to wear her skinny jeans home from the hospital.
I dunno, I suspect this woman went to a lot of trouble to look like this. Obviously it was important to her, hence the selfies in lingerie. *shrug* She looks great! When I was pregnant, I had complications and went into labor 1 month early. Then they had to induce with pitoncin which causes ugly water retention. :noway: I looked like a train wreck when I got home. LOL Plus, I had always been skinny, so I enjoyed eating a lot while I was pregnant. We all have our priorities! :drinker:0 -
This is not something to be jealous of, it is not as if a woman 4 days postpartum is allowed to diet or exercise. I didn't care what I looked like for about a month, I was more concerned about the ability to climb stairs to my bedroom.
The only issue that I have with this trend is that women are being shamed into trying to make their bodies look as if they had never had a child. That is so sad to me. I am proud of being able to do an amazing thing with my body. I do exercise and diet- but I never am ashamed of stretch-marks, or a little pouch up front, or the fact that my hips have gotten a tad wider.
Why is it so shameful to look as if you had birthed a child?
^^^this0 -
Meh, I don't understand being that upset about some one's picture. How does her picture really effect me? It only makes me feel inadequate if I let it.0
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Did this woman at any point declare, or go on a diatribe, that women who don't look like this shortly after giving birth are somehow deficient, defective, and/or disgusting?
If so, then maybe there is a news story. Otherwise, Jesus wept and Buddha on blow, what the F@#$ are people on her case about?
"This is an act of war"?!?! I vote the asinine fool who made that statement in the article be dropped into an active war zone, so their perspective can be adjusted by removing their proverbial head out of the rather narrow tunnel it appears to be shoved up.
Oh boo-hoo. I don't look like Mathew McConaughey because I'm a somewhat average Joe who ate poorly. It's a war on me because he had a bajillion photos taken when his shirt was off... Can someone get me some cheese to go with my whine?
This stuff seriously disrupts my calm.0 -
Meh, I don't understand being that upset about some one's picture. How does her picture really effect me? It only makes me feel inadequate if I let it.
Totally agree.0 -
She only gained 24 lbs by following a very strict diet
And this. Our bodies need to be free to do what they do during pregnancy. The sad thing is, they found during WWII that a starving woman will produce a healthy baby. It's only when they are in their 30s that the heart problems start.0 -
People are annoying. Why can't we be impressed and admiring without the hatred and jealousy?
I have to agree. It's just not necessary.0 -
Wow, 4 days post-baby?! If that's real, that's crazy. She looks great for anyone, kids or no kids!
I understand that some women, who might feel self conscious about their size/shape after birth, may see this and feel disheartened or jealous, especially as the media loves to focus on women/celebrities and how long it takes them to "snap back" into shape.
However, the woman in question has done absolutely nothing wrong.; She's not saying "look at all you lazy mums, if you put in some effort this is how you'd look!" or anything similar, meant to criticise average women. If she did I'd understand, because even for the most healthy/fit mums, how many actually look like that so soon after birth? She just posted a picture though for crying out loud! I'm pleased for her!0 -
Some have hinted at it, but I don't think anyone has actually said it...
...so I will.
I'm predicting this is a fake. Oh, sure, it's a real pic, but I don't think this was 4 days postpartum.
There...I said it.
Seems physically impossible, just knowing how the body works and all. I wouldn't doubt that she could be 6 months postpartum (but 4 days).
And, yeah, my ab muscles hadn't pulled back together that soon.0 -
I can tell she doesnt have a 4 day olf becausr of a few small clues!
1. She is awake
2. She isnt holding the baby
3. She has makeup on
4. She has her hair done
5. Her boobs arent falling out of her bra
6. She doesnt have black rings under her eyes
7. She looks as if she has showered recently
8. She has no puke or poop on her
9. Did i mention shes awake
10. She is obviously not wearing one if those giant diaper like pads you have to wear after birth!
You couldnt fool me!
As for the body...kudos, looks great!
Every now and then someone posts something reminding me why I invest in the kind of birth control that lasts for years, then immediately follow it up with more birth control that lasts for years, and continue to pester my doctor about tubal ligation. The exception that one must be tired and unkempt, or else they 'don't have a newborn'/are some manner of freak of nature is pretty gross.
Dare I say as gross as this supposed trend towards not looking as if one has given birth? :indifferent:
She probably is fairly unusual, an outlier or, pejoratively, a freak. I don't have any stats or studies, just my personal experience and what I'm going to perilously assume is fairly common... most women don't feel up to much more than just taking care of the baby the first week.
When you're bleeding like your worst TOM ever for the first week after, when you're getting up every couple of hours to change and feed, when your breasts hurt so badly that you cry out if you jar them at all, when just the act of going to the bathroom is both painful (don't even get me started on that first post birth poo) and time consuming, it shouldn't be too much of a stretch to think that most women might not have the additional energy to wear makeup or look overly cheery for a few days.
Now going through that doesn't make us martyr's or anything but a few days of less than top notch grooming should be allowed and even expected.
Analogy time!
Do people get all dressed up and gussied up when they have the flu? Or do they wear PJs, do very little with their hair and just do what they need to recover. Some people do, most don't. Personally, I'd rather deal with flu symptoms than the first week after birth anytime. One doesn't have a screaming newborn associated with it.
I can only speak from my own observations, as centered on my mother, but I can't recall any unkempt moments. With the most recent sibling, who is now five to my 26, my mother was back at work in a week. When she had the twins, who are now 13, she was home for 3 weeks, but was as properly dressed as she always was.
My mother is no genetic freak, or anything like that, she's just really type A. While that may not be how the majority of people are, I don't think it's so strange that women who are that way are extreme cases, or should have it subtly implied that their priorities are out of line. Which you didn't do, I'm just speaking of the reactions she's gotten in general.
Your mom's a tougher bird than I. :drinker:
I guess i don't know what the norm is. Personal experience can be a big skewer of perception as it seems mine might be. :flowerforyou:0 -
She only gained 24 lbs by following a very strict diet
And this. Our bodies need to be free to do what they do during pregnancy. The sad thing is, they found during WWII that a starving woman will produce a healthy baby. It's only when they are in their 30s that the heart problems start.
Totally agree with you. I happen to know that my friend cared more about what her body was going to look like after she had the baby, than that she give birth to a healthy baby. I never said anything to her about it, but it did make me sad at the time.
I also met a model who chose to give birth via a planned C section so she wouldn't have to get 'too big' and chose not to breast feed so her breasts could stay perky. She told me all of this in the waiting room of the obstetrician's office. She was rail thin and hanging onto a plump one month old baby. At first I was judgmental, but then I realized that she was protecting her career. Maybe it was her only source of income.0 -
I'm not a fan of the boob job, but she looks good. Her belly skin does have a slight hang to it, but there's nothing wrong with that. I don't see what the big deal is....0
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