Santa!?!?! I hate the lie!

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  • SibylDiane
    SibylDiane Posts: 177 Member
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    My parents told me the truth about Santa very early on -- so early that I don't even remember asking. I grew up being glad I had parents who wouldn't lie to me, and still loving Christmas even without believing in a mythical Santa Claus. For our family (we're a bunch of atheists) the magic comes from gathering with the people you love and sharing that spirit of generosity with them.
  • Headingforhealthier
    Headingforhealthier Posts: 85
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    In because I can feel the tension rising. XD
  • parys1
    parys1 Posts: 2,072 Member
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    Would you prefer they be ridiculed at school for not believing? Why deprive them of a 'normal' childhood (at least in my country/area)?

    If you're worried about explaining it when he's older, check out this post:
    http://moms.popsugar.com/Telling-Kids-Truth-About-Santa-27332439?fullsite=1

    Thank you for that. It's wonderful.
  • Hornsby
    Hornsby Posts: 10,322 Member
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    Edited:

    because of religious irony.....
  • emily356
    emily356 Posts: 318 Member
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    Ok, My thoughts are not popular, but we all have to choose how to raise our children, so here it goes. I feel exactly like you do. And I have no clue what your religious beliefs are, but for us, it is the time we celebrate our savior's birth. So, We were really torn! Then one day, our oldest just straight up asked us, like yours did, if he was real, we just decided we were not gonna lie about it. We are extremely blunt and honest people to begin with, and always talk with our kids about how we will always tell them the truth, no matter what.
    I do feel like in the back of my mind, I always did remember feeling betrayed that my parents had lied to me about Santa. I am an extremely trusting person. If my parents told me something was true, then it was true, you know? So, we do not "do" Santa. I am actually buying a book at St. Nicholas to start reading to them at Christmas time. They know the story because we have told them, but St. Nicholas Day is Dec. 6th, I believe, and I would like to start incorporating that into our traditions. He was a real person and did wonderful things and showed compassion. Okay, ramble over.:smile:
    Jesus wasn't actually born anywhere near Christmas. That's also a lie.
    I know He wasn't. Most of my friends who are Christians know He wasn't. But that was the date chosen to celebrate it, so we do it then.:)
  • FindingMyPerfection
    FindingMyPerfection Posts: 702 Member
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    Sometimes being a good parent means lying to them.

    My kids still believe. I love that Christmas is magical to them. Believing in santa doesn't mean you don’t teach them the meaning of Christmas though.
    I will never agree with that!
  • emily356
    emily356 Posts: 318 Member
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    Edited:

    because of religious irony....
    To be honest, I almost didn't post because I knew someone would have to say this, and I do not get into internet arguments... sigh...
  • 2stepscloser
    2stepscloser Posts: 2,900 Member
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    Yep, I'm a liar too. My daughter (who is 9) has been questioning it because kids at school are telling her otherwise. I've been diverting the conversation but I'm not ready to give in. I'll tell her next year. She's having 7 baby teeth pulled tomorrow and asked me if I was the tooth fairy. My response, " why in the world would I want your teeth...yuck!" It's too close to Christmas to reveal the truth. She knows the real reason we celebrate each holiday, and I'm pretty sure she will forgive me when I finally come clean.
  • lizfreakinm
    lizfreakinm Posts: 29 Member
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    I don't know, I have very fond memories of Christmas when I was a kid. My parents went all out to make it seem like there was really a Santa Clause. They also made sure to make a point what the meaning of Saint Nicholas was as well. My family isn't overly religious, but they believe in the meaning of Saint Nicholas around Christmas time (giving to others, especially people who are less fortunate.) Eventually I figured out that Santa Clause isn't real and of course I was upset. However, those are some of my favorite memories from when I was a child and I plan on doing the same thing my parents did when my husband and I have children of our own.

    Plus, now when I see kids' faces light up when they see Santa Clause it reminds me of that feeling I used to get. I mean we lose that innocence so easily and quickly anymore, so why not just let your kid enjoy it? The world is a hard place and they're going to face plenty of disappointment in his/her life. Why not just let him/her enjoy these moments and when he/she figures it out, then they'll figure it out, no big deal.
  • Hornsby
    Hornsby Posts: 10,322 Member
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    Sometimes being a good parent means lying to them.

    My kids still believe. I love that Christmas is magical to them. Believing in santa doesn't mean you don’t teach them the meaning of Christmas though.
    I will never agree with that!

    You are in for a tough road ahead then.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    OK, so Christmas is about a man who was born to a virgin impregnated by God (a spirit no one actually sees or hears -- ever) who singlehandedly created the universe and everything in it. God then told this virgin about her pregnancy by using an angel who can fly and move between heaven and earth.

    That man whose borth you're celebrating grew up to be able to heal mortal illness just by touching people, walked on water, turned water into wine, made bread and wine his own flesh and blood (and people ate and drank it). He knew the future, too, in some cases.

    I could go on.

    But you're all worried your kids might temporarily believe a guy in a red suit travels the world in a night and leaves presents?
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
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    It's your child, raise him as you see fit.

    Don't see the problem with letting children enjoy the myth for a few years, but....

    Hey, don't forget to tell him the truth about the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, and, since we want to be truthful to our children, tell him that no matter how hard he tries, sometimes you can't suceed. No one has ever proven in the existence of a higher being. Oh, and, if he's unattractive, it doesn't matter how great of a sense of humor he has, he ain't getting laid unless he brings in at least a 6 figure income.
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
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    Ok, My thoughts are not popular, but we all have to choose how to raise our children, so here it goes. I feel exactly like you do. And I have no clue what your religious beliefs are, but for us, it is the time we celebrate our savior's birth. So, We were really torn! Then one day, our oldest just straight up asked us, like yours did, if he was real, we just decided we were not gonna lie about it. We are extremely blunt and honest people to begin with, and always talk with our kids about how we will always tell them the truth, no matter what.
    I do feel like in the back of my mind, I always did remember feeling betrayed that my parents had lied to me about Santa. I am an extremely trusting person. If my parents told me something was true, then it was true, you know? So, we do not "do" Santa. I am actually buying a book at St. Nicholas to start reading to them at Christmas time. They know the story because we have told them, but St. Nicholas Day is Dec. 6th, I believe, and I would like to start incorporating that into our traditions. He was a real person and did wonderful things and showed compassion. Okay, ramble over.:smile:

    If you are going to celebrate the birth of our saviour you should do it on the actual day he was born in march or april (I forget the exact date now)

    Having a celebration on the day isn't as important as the celebration itself. I get what she's saying. It's sort of like, "Remember the reason for the season." I can see it both ways because as a child, I was extremely trusting as well. I believed in Santa Claus until I was 8 or 9 years old, and I never asked. My parents had to TELL ME that he wasn't real because they didn't want me to be embarrassed. I cried and cried and cried. To me, it was like saying God wasn't real. I just had so much faith! I'm still torn on whether to live out the fantasy for my baby, but I do agree that it is adorable to watch them get so excited on Christmas morning. It is a magical thing to watch their imaginations active in an age of iPads and Xboxes.
  • FindingMyPerfection
    FindingMyPerfection Posts: 702 Member
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    I wouldn't say your a bad mom. but it does seem you're insecure about your own abilities if you blindly follow everyone else even though it's not what you believe.

    I do NOT do Santa with my boys, but unfortunately my husband does. I tell them I don't think Santa is real, but it's OK if they do. It's a teaching moment that I use to their advantage: Different people believe different things but that doesn't make them bad/weird/whatever.
    I like this a lot!
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
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    when it was time to tell my kids I explained it that Santa was a part of each and every one of us and that he represented the giving spirit we have at Christmas and all around the year.

    They really liked thinking about it that way.
  • Hornsby
    Hornsby Posts: 10,322 Member
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    Edited:

    because of religious irony....
    To be honest, I almost didn't post because I knew someone would have to say this, and I do not get into internet arguments... sigh...

    Understand. That's why I didn't finish...

    No point in discussing politics or religion :)
  • JennyLisT
    JennyLisT Posts: 402 Member
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    I seem to be in the minority about this, but I was kinda pissed off when I found out that my parents had been lying to me for years about a man breaking and entering to leave presents and eat our cookies. I just don't see the need to present Santa as anything other than a story. If the truth about Santa ruins Christmas, you're not really introducing your children to all of the other wonderful things that are associated with the season.

    Additionally, after working at the mall, I have to say that my early skepticism about mall Santas was probably for the best. Beware!
  • FatHuMan1
    FatHuMan1 Posts: 1,028 Member
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    Sometimes being a good parent means lying to them.

    My kids still believe. I love that Christmas is magical to them. Believing in santa doesn't mean you don’t teach them the meaning of Christmas though.
    I will never agree with that!



    Just out of curiosity how old are you OP and how many children do you have?
  • suziepoo1984
    suziepoo1984 Posts: 915 Member
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    Do what you feel is right! No two parents will have the same parenting style and no two kids will be same way! My parents never lied or told the truth. They let me believe what I wanted to and also learn truth my own way.
    I never felt crushed, I actually found it funny that I was so innocent!
    I love to see kids innocence. I don't think because lying is bad, I am going to expose them to all the harsh truth in life so early!
    They have a lot of time later on for that crap. I want my daughter to enjoy her childhood as long as she can.
    I wish I could remain as innocent and not aware of all the crap around myself!
  • FindingMyPerfection
    FindingMyPerfection Posts: 702 Member
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    Sometimes being a good parent means lying to them.

    My kids still believe. I love that Christmas is magical to them. Believing in santa doesn't mean you don’t teach them the meaning of Christmas though.
    I will never agree with that!

    You are in for a tough road ahead then.
    What could possibly be worth lying about?

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