Santa!?!?! I hate the lie!
Replies
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My advice? Raise your children however you see fit. Santa or no you're not doing them any harm, so you don't need to worry about it.0
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I've told them the variety of reasons people celebrate at Christmas (Hanukkah)
Some years, Chanukah isn't even clsoe to Christmas.
Anyway, it isn't about ruining a holiday for your kids. It's about limiting their imaginations.0 -
This is a horrible thing to say. and not true.Tell him the truth. My mom did, and I learned to appreciate Christmas for the family time and spirit of generosity. I'm going to do the same for mine.
So true! My kids understand and appreciate Christmas, whereas the ones that get told the Santa lie, end up believing that Christmas is all about presents.
Right, because only kids who don't believe in Santa are generous, loving, and understand that the spirit of Christmas is about family and giving. God my kids are awful little brats who embarass me with their greed.
Honestly it doesn't matter whether you use santa in your celebration, but lets not throw around sweeping generalizations about those of us who do.0 -
Santa Claus was always "S.C." in our house when I was growing up. To the little ones, that was "Santa Claus." To the older (wiser?) folks "in the know" it stood for the SPIRIT (OF) CHRISTMAS. (That goes along with the "magic" so many of you have mentioned before me.) If you don't approve of the Jolly FAT elf in the red velvet suit, then share the SC (spirit of Christmas) with your children in other ways.
The Santa legend is ALL about giving to others and is based on a real man. (Stay tuned, I'm about to totally Geek-out here, but just a little bit.
) I actually took an "advanced" history course in college where the professor told us to pick a topic to write a research paper on; the instructions were "Anything from the beginning of recorded time up to the Reformation." Rebel that I am, my paper was titled "The Origins of Santa Claus." I won't bore you with all the research here, but the picture we have of the jolly, bearded man in the red suit is most probably taken from images of St. Nicholas of Myra, a BEARDED BISHOP IN CANONICAL ROBES. (Red robes.)
There is a historical AND a fictional St. Nick. Both represent the Spirit of Christmas; any grandparent or parent can relate to the JOY of getting to "play Santa" in the giving of special gifts to their little ones. So is the Santa lie more fun for you or your child? I enjoy the heck out of it, personally. It's the giving that's better then the getting, otherwise known as S.C. Your child, nor you, need to believe in the Santa myth, but I hope that the Spirit of Christmas can remain a part of your child's Christmas for a lifetime. My daughter, now a mother herself, will always say, "I still believe in S.C." Usually with a wink, but I know she means it, because she knows it's the Spirit of Christmas and that it's not all about what you get, but what you give back. So yes, my granddaughter will have gifts under the Christmas tree wrapped in special Santa paper with tags signed "S.C." but she will also be guided to understand the spirit of the holiday as well. She is 3 years old and is looking forward to buying toys to give to "the friends" who don't have any. Sorry for such a long winded post. Just my thoughts. (I got an A on the paper by the way. :bigsmile: )0 -
So my oldest is 3 and asked me about Santa and Christmas. I told him the basic crap that everyone spews and I hate myself for it! Wh does he need to believe in Santa just to have it crushed later in life? Why set them up for disappointment later in life. Am I a bad mom because I don't want to perpetuate this myth?
Thoughts please.
I felt the same you do and never wanted to do the whole Santa thing with my kids. First kid came and the grandparents freaked out. Since Santa Claus was based on a real person I worked it around the story of St. Nicholas. We talk about why St. Nick gave secret gifts and that is why we give gifts to the ones we love as well as those we don't know during the holidays. We always let each boy pick a star off the tree within the community and buy a present for a child within their school. We also collect hats and mitten/gloves to go on the tree at a local clinic which then are dispersed to those who need them. We do visit Santa as there is truly no way around the kids not hearing about him and wanting to. But we stress that Santa is a man who's way to show 'gift' is to visit kids and talk with them. That is why there are so many different looking Santas. It's not just one man. Not to give gifts because someone is good or bad, as we know there kids within their school who will not be getting gifts because their parents can't afford them. We don't want them to think that Santa is punishing those children. We also make sure that we use our 'gifts' to being joy to others. We do a daily countdown to Christmas with different activities. One of our favorites is to cut out hundreds of paper snowflakes which we take to the local nursing home and assisted living and decorate the doors of the residents who would like it done. We usually sing a Christmas song to them while we do this. Me and the boys will bake cookies to take to the police dept and fire dept with a thank you note.
Also we are Christian so we stress that Santa's job is to remind us of Jesus being born and the ultimate gift that we were given. That he reminds us to not forgot those who are less fortunate then us and that it's not getting gifts that is important but giving gifts as well. One of our traditions is baking a cake on Christmas Eve which we eat Christmas Day for breakfast after we sing Happy Birthday to Jesus.
I agree with all that have said to not flat out say 'Santa is not real' because then you run the risk them telling kids at school or daycare and ruining what their parent's traditions are. Figure out what you want the holiday to mean to your family and then let it go from there.0 -
Sometimes being a good parent means lying to them.
My kids still believe. I love that Christmas is magical to them. Believing in santa doesn't mean you don’t teach them the meaning of Christmas though.
Another crock!
Love = honesty0 -
I believed in Santa for years. Never EVER felt "betrayed" by my parents. People really need to lighten up a little on all this serious parenting stuff.
My only problem with the Santa story is that as a teacher, children never understand why "Santa" is so good to some children and so skimpy with others - especially if these children felt like they had been good all year. While I can explain a lot about Santa, that one is really difficult to justify.
That makes me sad. I never thought of it like that.0 -
Santa Claus was always "S.C." in our house when I was growing up. To the little ones, that was "Santa Claus." To the older (wiser?) folks "in the know" it stood for the SPIRIT (OF) CHRISTMAS. (That goes along with the "magic" so many of you have mentioned before me.) If you don't approve of the Jolly FAT elf in the red velvet suit, then share the SC (spirit of Christmas) with your children in other ways.
The Santa legend is ALL about giving to others and is based on a real man. (Stay tuned, I'm about to totally Geek-out here, but just a little bit. ) I actually took an "advanced" history course in college where the professor told us to pick a topic to write a research paper on; the instructions were "Anything from the beginning of recorded time up to the Reformation." Rebel that I am, my paper was titled "The Origins of Santa Claus." I won't bore you with all the research here, but the picture we have of the jolly, bearded man in the red suit is most probably taken from images of St. Nicholas of Myra, a BEARDED BISHOP IN CANONICAL ROBES. (Red robes.)
There is a historical AND a fictional St. Nick. Both represent the Spirit of Christmas; any grandparent or parent can relate to the JOY of getting to "play Santa" in the giving of special gifts to their little ones. So is the Santa lie more fun for you or your child? I enjoy the heck out of it, personally. It's the giving that's better then the getting, otherwise known as S.C. Your child, nor you, need to believe in the Santa myth, but I hope that the Spirit of Christmas can remain a part of your child's Christmas for a lifetime. My daughter, now a mother herself, will always say, "I still believe in S.C." Usually with a wink, but I know she means it, because she knows it's the Spirit of Christmas and that it's not all about what you get, but what you give back. So yes, my granddaughter will have gifts under the Christmas tree wrapped in special Santa paper with tags signed "S.C." but she will also be guided to understand the spirit of the holiday as well. She is 3 years old and is looking forward to buying toys to give to "the friends" who don't have any. Sorry for such a long winded post. Just my thoughts. (I got an A on the paper by the way. :bigsmile: )
I really like this...awesome!0 -
OK everyone huddle up.
We are going run the "parent your own kids however the f#*k you want" option on 3.
Ready. Break.
QFT0 -
exactly.
This is a horrible thing to say. and not true.Tell him the truth. My mom did, and I learned to appreciate Christmas for the family time and spirit of generosity. I'm going to do the same for mine.
So true! My kids understand and appreciate Christmas, whereas the ones that get told the Santa lie, end up believing that Christmas is all about presents.
Right, because only kids who don't believe in Santa are generous, loving, and understand that the spirit of Christmas is about family and giving. God my kids are awful little brats who embarass me with their greed.
Honestly it doesn't matter whether you use santa in your celebration, but lets not throw around sweeping generalizations about those of us who do.0 -
Sometimes being a good parent means lying to them.
My kids still believe. I love that Christmas is magical to them. Believing in santa doesn't mean you don’t teach them the meaning of Christmas though.
Another crock!
Love = honesty
Disagree! There are adult things that children should NOT be exposed to. I believe lying is at times necessary to protect them.0 -
Sometimes being a good parent means lying to them.
My kids still believe. I love that Christmas is magical to them. Believing in santa doesn't mean you don’t teach them the meaning of Christmas though.
Another crock!
Love = honesty
So you have never fibbed in any way shape or form to your kids?
Gold Star.0 -
Gonna need to see studies on this, or are you touting opinion as fact?
I've told them the variety of reasons people celebrate at Christmas (Hanukkah)
Some years, Chanukah isn't even clsoe to Christmas.
Anyway, it isn't about ruining a holiday for your kids. It's about limiting their imaginations.0 -
Sometimes being a good parent means lying to them.
My kids still believe. I love that Christmas is magical to them. Believing in santa doesn't mean you don’t teach them the meaning of Christmas though.
Another crock!
Love = honesty
That is a rather simplistic view of love. While love means honesty, it also means nuture, protection, teaching, and allowing your children to figure things out for themselves.
Get over yourself.0 -
So my oldest is 3 and asked me about Santa and Christmas. I told him the basic crap that everyone spews and I hate myself for it! Wh does he need to believe in Santa just to have it crushed later in life? Why set them up for disappointment later in life. Am I a bad mom because I don't want to perpetuate this myth?
Thoughts please.
Well your looking at that all wrong!!! Your teaching him to use his imagination, and allowing him to learn how to think outside of the box. Why take away that magic alone. They have their whole life to think about things rationally. Let him enjoy being a kid! Do you want to tell him that all fantasy is not really. Do you only let him watch CNN or the Discovery channel. If you don't want to tell him if Santa is real when he asks try this instead. Do you think he is real? if he says yes, then you responded with, "then he's real." Your not lying your just letting him make his on decision on how to view things.0 -
I was raised a jehovah's witness so i never celebrated. (Dont feel bad, my parents picked a suprise day each year and we would come home from school to a room full of presents, so we still got to unwrap gifts and whatnot). The only thing that really bothers me about xmas is people celebrate the christs bday. Its not his birthday. How would you like if your closest friends celebrated your birthday on a completely opposite month and day that you were born? I do understand the spirit behind the holiday, its about giving and spending time with family, and for some its the only time of year they get time off to see their family.
I dont believe in lying to kids about santa nowadays because it gives a chance for real life burglars to dress up in a red suit and break in to the house. People are sick nowadays. Plus santa is kind of creepy. Some old dude that breaks in to your house and eats your food? Aand if you werent on top behavior hes going to do all that and leave you a freaking lump of coal? Heck no techno! But to each their own, thats just my $.020 -
I will never agree with that!Sometimes being a good parent means lying to them.
My kids still believe. I love that Christmas is magical to them. Believing in santa doesn't mean you don’t teach them the meaning of Christmas though.
You are in for a tough road ahead then.
Nope, not so tough. My kids are nearly grown, and have told us that they love the fact that they can know that we will always be honest with them. I feel sorry for kids whose parents lie to them for their own convenience. Screw that.
Our teens have an open and honest relationship. Since we have always been honest with them, they are free now to be honest with us, even on tough issues like sex/drugs. Being a liar is no good for long term relationships.0 -
OP asks, we answer!:happy:OK everyone huddle up.
We are going run the "parent your own kids however the f#*k you want" option on 3.
Ready. Break.0 -
Personally I cannot stand what Christmas has become. I hate hearing about all the drama between people who celebrate and people who don't. I hate that so many people just have turned it into a meaningless retail free for all.
I wish that there was a stronger focus on being with your family and friends, and just loving each other and enjoying their company, less focus on buy buy buy.
This X1000!0 -
I seem to be in the minority about this, but I was kinda pissed off when I found out that my parents had been lying to me for years about a man breaking and entering to leave presents and eat our cookies. I just don't see the need to present Santa as anything other than a story. If the truth about Santa ruins Christmas, you're not really introducing your children to all of the other wonderful things that are associated with the season.
Additionally, after working at the mall, I have to say that my early skepticism about mall Santas was probably for the best. Beware!
QFT
I felt the same way. I made it my mission to prove that the grownups were lying to us. I succeeded. Than god for Polaroids.0 -
There are times to withhold detales but I feel there is never a Reason to lie.Sometimes being a good parent means lying to them.
My kids still believe. I love that Christmas is magical to them. Believing in santa doesn't mean you don’t teach them the meaning of Christmas though.
Another crock!
Love = honesty
Disagree! There are adult things that children should NOT be exposed to. I believe lying is at times necessary to protect them.0 -
I seriously love this!0
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I was raised a jehovah's witness so i never celebrated. (Dont feel bad, my parents picked a suprise day each year and we would come home from school to a room full of presents, so we still got to unwrap gifts and whatnot). The only thing that really bothers me about xmas is people celebrate the christs bday. Its not his birthday. How would you like if your closest friends celebrated your birthday on a completely opposite month and day that you were born? I do understand the spirit behind the holiday, its about giving and spending time with family, and for some its the only time of year they get time off to see their family.
I dont believe in lying to kids about santa nowadays because it gives a chance for real life burglars to dress up in a red suit and break in to the house. People are sick nowadays. Plus santa is kind of creepy. Some old dude that breaks in to your house and eats your food? Aand if you werent on top behavior hes going to do all that and leave you a freaking lump of coal? Heck no techno! But to each their own, thats just my $.02
To be honest, I could care less what day it's celebrated on as long as it's celebrated. :flowerforyou:0 -
I will never agree with that!Sometimes being a good parent means lying to them.
My kids still believe. I love that Christmas is magical to them. Believing in santa doesn't mean you don’t teach them the meaning of Christmas though.
You are in for a tough road ahead then.
Nope, not so tough. My kids are nearly grown, and have told us that they love the fact that they can know that we will always be honest with them. I feel sorry for kids whose parents lie to them for their own convenience. Screw that.
Our teens have an open and honest relationship. Since we have always been honest with them, they are free now to be honest with us, even on tough issues like sex/drugs. Being a liar is no good for long term relationships.
Let's be clear, I said protecting children from the truth isn't necessarily lying.
Let me ask you this....
If your parents would have gotten divorced when you were 3 years old cause your dad banged his secretary, and you asked your mother why they got divorced. Would you expect them to tell you "Because daddy banged the secretary?"0 -
if he wasn't real, why would Buddy be torturing himself like this??? \m/0 -
I will never agree with that!Sometimes being a good parent means lying to them.
My kids still believe. I love that Christmas is magical to them. Believing in santa doesn't mean you don’t teach them the meaning of Christmas though.
You don't have to.
When I lost a pregnancy we didn't give the whole truth. When grandma died a horrible death from cancer, I said she went peacefully. When my nephew died at 4mo we made up some bs answer as to why.
I do this from time to time with non sad stuff too. Like when I eat their ice cream, I blame their dad.
Sometimes I tell them lies. I'm okay with it.
ETA: 4 kids. 10, 8, 3, 2 and I'm 33.
I wonder how they will deal with your lies when they are teenagers.0 -
The broad, sweeping generalizations on here make me sad. Lighten up, people! And parent your kids the way you want as long as they don't ruin the fun for everyone else.
I love the idea of Santa. I loved it as a kid and I still love it today. I wasn't traumatized when I found out the truth although after reading the thread it sounds like some people really had some issues there.
My parents were awesome about Santa and we focused more on making cookies to leave out with milk then we did on the actual presents. Being able to imagine and believe in a fairy tale was really fun for me - I can't imagine not having that experience as a child.
And yes, I went to church and learned all that stuff too.
And no, Christmas is not about presents to me. In fact, it's just the opposite.0 -
If it makes you feel better to tell him the truth then do so. Stand by your convictions as a parent. However, make sure he also understands that there are kids out there that do believe and that it's not ok to make fun of them or take it away from them.
Growing up, my parents never told us santa wasn't real. We just figured it out. Even after my sisters and I caught on, my parents still played santa every year. It became a fun tradition and a good way for my parents to sleep in! Santa left un wrapped gifts out for us in a little pile on the couch or chair. My sisters and I would wake early and sort through all of our santa gifts (usually one "big" gift then smaller things like hair ties or callendars). Even when I went off to college my parents continued with santa, and my sisters and I would leave beer and pretzles for dad rather than milk and cookies
Now that I have kids, I enjoy seeing their imaginations grow. Santa can be an excellent learning tool to talk about giving and being kind to others. My daughter is 8 and kids her age are figuring it out, but she hasn't asked if he is real or not. If she does I plan on reading her this letter another mom wrote to her daughter:
Dear Lucy,
Thank you for your letter. You asked a very good question: “Are you Santa?”
I know you’ve wanted the answer to this question for a long time, and I’ve had to give it careful thought to know just what to say.
The answer is no. I am not Santa. There is no one Santa.
I am the person who fills your stockings with presents, though. I also choose and wrap the presents under the tree, the same way my mom did for me, and the same way her mom did for her. (And yes, Daddy helps, too.)
I imagine you will someday do this for your children, and I know you will love seeing them run down the stairs on Christmas morning. You will love seeing them sit under the tree, their small faces lit with Christmas lights.
This won’t make you Santa, though.
Santa is bigger than any person, and his work has gone on longer than any of us have lived. What he does is simple, but it is powerful. He teaches children how to have belief in something they can’t see or touch.
It’s a big job, and it’s an important one. Throughout your life, you will need this capacity to believe: in yourself, in your friends, in your talents and in your family. You’ll also need to believe in things you can’t measure or even hold in your hand. Here, I am talking about love, that great power that will light your life from the inside out, even during its darkest, coldest moments.
Santa is a teacher, and I have been his student, and now you know the secret of how he gets down all those chimneys on Christmas Eve: he has help from all the people whose hearts he’s filled with joy.
With full hearts, people like Daddy and me take our turns helping Santa do a job that would otherwise be impossible.
So, no. I am not Santa. Santa is love and magic and hope and happiness. I’m on his team, and now you are, too.
I love you and I always will.
Mama
Woops! I meant I seriously love this post lol0 -
So the "other" option from telling him that Santa is real is to "fill them in on religion, war, famine, genocide, at least you wouldn't be lying to them"??? Who needs to lighten up?God, life is too short! Just have some fun. Don't take everything so damn seriously... We have this stupid elf thing in our house, we move it around and my 5 and 6 year old are in love with this damn thing. I think my daughter pretty much knows it doesn't move on its own, but man they are excited to see where it ends up. Lighten the hell up.. If you really don't want to lie to them how about on Christmas eve you sit them down and fill them in on religion, war, famine, genocide, at least you wouldn't be lying to them. People are such buzzkills!
I think you completely missed the point.0 -
This is a horrible thing to say. and not true.Tell him the truth. My mom did, and I learned to appreciate Christmas for the family time and spirit of generosity. I'm going to do the same for mine.
So true! My kids understand and appreciate Christmas, whereas the ones that get told the Santa lie, end up believing that Christmas is all about presents.
It's horrible to equate Christmas with giving presents. It's also horrible to lie to your loved ones because it's "entertaining" or whatever.0
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